


Out of Time

by TuppingLiberty



Series: Organa's Organics [39]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ficlet Collection, Multi, each chapter has a rating and content warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:54:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 84,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuppingLiberty/pseuds/TuppingLiberty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pre-TLJ Fic - No Spoilers</p><p>If you are new to Stormpilot, this fic will not make sense without having read Organa's Organics; you can find all of these chapters in the long fic of that title. </p><p>Some ficlets will take place in the past, some will take place in the future, hence "out of time."  </p><p>Chapter 1 is the timeline I maintain for the O's Os universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Timeline - series spoilers below - NR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS about later ficlets on this timeline!

Pre-history:

  * [Poe figures out he's gay; Ben rejects Poe (Ficlet #3).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610/chapters/15655315)



 

Year 0

| 

June

| 

[Finn and Poe meet ( Part 1);](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5869576) [Poe tells Finn about his past(Part 2);](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5889625) [Finn gets hurt ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5909809)(Part 3)  
  
---|---|---  
  | 

July

| 

[Finn recovers from wound from Ben; declares love for Poe; decides to transfer to UC Davis (Part 4);](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5946750) Poe turns 33 (July 14)  
  
  | 

August

| 

Finn starts second year of Law School  
  
  | 

September

| 

Finn turns 24 (September 15)  
  
  | 

October

|    
  | 

November

| 

[Poe visits Finn at UC Davis (Part 4 Epilogue)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5946750)  
  
  | 

December

|    
  | 

January

|    
  | 

February

|    
  | 

March

|    
  | 

April

|    
  | 

May

| 

Leia turns 66 (May 10)  
  
Year 1

| 

June

| 

[Finn comes back to the farm; finds Katie and Buli, Finn and Poe talk about kids for the first time.(Part 5);](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5957239) Finn and Poe’s fancy 1 year anniversary dress up dinner where Leia takes the picture of them (Mentioned in part 6)   
  
  | 

July

| 

Poe turns 34 (July 14)  
  
  | 

August

| 

Finn starts final year of Law School  
  
  | 

September

| 

Finn turns 25 (September 15)  
  
  | 

October

|    
  | 

November

|    
  | 

December

| 

[Finn comes back for Christmas break; studying for Bar Exam; Poe proposes spontaneously (Part 6)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5973886) and [then for real (Part 7).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5988259)  
  
  | 

January

|    
  | 

February

| 

[Finn and Poe go see Deadpool (Part 8).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5996794)  
  
  | 

March

|    
  | 

April

|    
  | 

May

| 

Leia turns 67 (May 10); [Finn is stressed about wedding planning (Ficlet #2)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610/chapters/15635548)  
  
Year 2

| 

June

| 

[Finn takes bar exam; Finn and Poe attend soccer game (Part 9); ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6027439)[Finn freaks out about his parents (Part 10).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6047839)  
  
  | 

July

| 

[Poe turns 35 (July 14); Poe and Finn go to Vegas for the bachelors’ party and Poe’s birthday; Jess and Rey get married (July 14) (Part 11)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6062280); [Finn finds out he passed the Bar Exam (July 20); Poe and Finn get married (July 21). Snap and Elisa get together. (Part 12)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6081741)  
  
  | 

August

| 

Finn starts working at his law office (Mentioned in Part 13).  
  
  | 

September

| 

[Finn turns 26 (September 15); Poe throws Finn a surprise birthday party (Part 13).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6103333)  
  
  | 

October

|    
  | 

November

|    
  | 

December

| 

[Poe and Finn’s california vacation is delayed by snow; they receive the call from Sharon that their adoption process has been approved (Part 14).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6110944)  
  
  | 

January

| 

Amelia turns 4 (January 4th)

[Poe and Finn meet Amelia for the first time (Part 15).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6119724)  
  
  | 

February

| 

[Early - Amelia stays with Poe and Finn for the first time, and they all decide it’s a good fit (Part 15);](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6119724) [Late - Finn travels to Santa Fe to say goodbye to his dad; Poe and Amelia meet him in Santa Fe; Anne decides to move to Oregon (Part 16).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6137833)  
  
  | 

March

|    
  | 

April

| 

[Finn experiences anxiety around meeting his dead father’s expectations; the first Friday family night happens (Part 17)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6152566)  
  
  | 

May

| 

Elisa gets pregnant; Leia turns 68 (May 10)  
  
Year 3

| 

June

|    
  | 

July

| 

Poe turns 36 (July 14); Jess and Rey first wedding anniversary (July 14); [Poe and Finn first wedding anniversary (July 21); Elisa announces she’s pregnant (Part 18).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6195442)  
  
  | 

August

| 

[Amelia’s adoption finalized (August 1) (Part 18)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6195442)  
  
  | 

September

| 

Finn turns 27 (September 15)  
  
  | 

October

|    
  | 

November

|    
  | 

December

|    
  | 

January

| 

Amelia turns 5 (January 4th); [they meet with Sharon about Meghan; meet Meghan for the first time.  Meghan’s arm broken; runs away; Finn picks her up in Portland and she comes to stay with them (Part 19).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6216919)  
  
  | 

February

| 

Elisa has Luis (February 2)  
  
  | 

March

| 

Meghan turns 14 (March 11); [Elisa and Mary teach Meghan how to use make up (Part 20).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6229951)  
  
  | 

April

| 

Rey and Jess move to Washington (Mentioned in Part 20).  
  
  | 

May

| 

Leia turns 69 (May 10)  
  
Year 4

| 

June

| 

[Amelia starts learning how to ride horses and Meghan gets accepted at Raven Point (Part 21).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6243001)  
  
  | 

July

| 

Poe turns 37 (July 14); Jess and Rey second wedding anniversary (July 14); Poe and Finn second wedding anniversary (July 21). Meghan’s adoption finalized (July 27).  
  
  | 

August

|    
  | 

September

| 

Finn turns 28 (September 15); Amelia starts kindergarten; Meghan starts 9th grade at an alternative high school  
  
  | 

October

| 

[Amelia’s first parent-teacher conference where Miss O’Brien tells them she’s too aggressive at recess; Rigo asks Meghan to his school’s homecoming dance (Part 22)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6281293)  
  
  | 

November

|    
  | 

December

|    
  | 

January

| 

Amelia turns 6 (January 4th); [Amelia becomes friends with Molly (Part 23, Chapter 1)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6379087/chapters/14609026)  
  
  | 

February

| 

Luis turns 1 (February 2)  
  
  | 

March

| 

[Meghan turns 15 (March 11); Meghan ‘runs away’ to Tacoma (Part 23, Chapter 2)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6379087/chapters/14648665)  
  
  | 

April

|    
  | 

May

| 

Leia turns 70 (May 10)  
  
Year 5

| 

June

|    
  | 

July

| 

[Poe turns 38, making it through his year long struggle of dealing with his parents’ deaths (July 14) (Part 23, Chapter 3); ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6379087/chapters/14681179)[Finn rewards Poe’s hard work with some kinky times in bed (Ficlets #4).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610/chapters/15671710) Jess and Rey third wedding anniversary (July 14); Poe and Finn third wedding anniversary (July 21).  
  
  | 

August

|    
  | 

September

| 

[Finn turns 29 (September 15) (Part 23, Chapter 4);](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6379087/chapters/14722501) Amelia starts 1st grade; Meghan starts 10th grade. [They find Caleb at the Farmer’s Market (Part 24, Chapter 1).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6454366)  
  
  | 

October

| 

[Celia dies (Part 24, Chapter 2).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6454366/chapters/14817163)  
  
  | 

November

| 

[Amelia gives her “What I’m thankful for” speech (Part 25).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6498766)  
  
  | 

December

| 

[Cassie Calrissian begins work on the hops farm; Leia meets Cassie (Part 26)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6550729)  
  
  | 

January

| 

Amelia turns 7 (January 4)  
  
  | 

February

| 

Luis turns 2 (February 2) [Cassie sets up a meeting between Leia and Ben; Leia forgives Ben (Part 26).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6550729)  
  
  | 

March

| 

Meghan turns 16 (March 11); [Poe and Finn go on conference trip (Part 27)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6584932); [fallout from Ben’s appearance (Part 28)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6637270)  
  
  | 

April 0

| 

[Meghan starts HRT (Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649)  
  
  | 

May 1

| 

Caleb turns 3 (May 30) Leia turns 71 (May 10)  
  
Year 6

| 

June 2

| 

Meghan and Leia talk and things are still tense[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649);  
  
  | 

July 3

| 

Poe turns 39 (July 14); Jess and Rey fourth wedding anniversary (July 14); Poe and Finn fourth wedding anniversary (July 21).

[Fourth of July: Poe and Leia make up; Amelia breaks her leg; is found by Ben; after Fourth of July:  Poe and Finn invite Ben over to their house (Part 30)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6744532)  
  
  | 

August 4

| 

[Finn and Poe have some dirty barn sex. (Part 31)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6781447)

End: Amelia’s cast taken off  
  
  | 

September 5

| 

Finn turns 30 (September 15); Amelia starts 2nd grade; Meghan starts 11th grade.  
  
  | 

October 6

| 

[Chris comes to live on the farm (Part 33).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6888430)  
  
  | 

November 7

|    
  | 

December 8

|    
  | 

January 9

| 

Amelia turns 8 (January 4)  
  
  | 

February 10

| 

Luis turns 3 (February 2)  
  
  | 

March 11

| 

Meghan turns 17 (March 11); Meghan and Tomas kiss at Meghan’s birthday party and start dating[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
  | 

April 12

| 

Meghan and Mary have their heart to heart about Tomas[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
  | 

May 13

| 

Caleb turns 4 (May 30) Leia turns 72 (May 10); Meghan introduces Tomas to Finn and Poe; Meghan attends prom with Tomas[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
Year 7

| 

June 14

| 

The Smith-Damerons attend the Portland Pride parade/festival[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
  | 

July 15

| 

Poe turns 40 (July 14); Jess and Rey fifth wedding anniversary (July 14); [Poe and Finn fifth wedding anniversary (July 21); Finn takes Amelia and Caleb to the fair and they adopt a bunny (Ficlet #5).](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610/chapters/15778795) Meghan, Finn and Poe visit college campuses; Meghan and Amelia have heart to heart about Meghan leaving for college [(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
  | 

August 16

| 

Meghan breaks up with Tomas[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
  | 

September 17

| 

Finn turns 31 (September 15); Amelia starts 3rd grade; Meghan starts 12th grade.  
  
  | 

October 18

|    
  | 

November 19

|    
  | 

December 20

|    
  | 

January 21

| 

Amelia turns 9 (January 4)  
  
  | 

February 22

| 

Luis turns 4 (February 2)  
  
  | 

March 23

| 

Meghan turns 18 (March 11)  
  
  | 

April 24

| 

Meghan has a break down about her senior art exhibit[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
  | 

May  25

| 

Caleb turns 5 (May 30) Leia turns 73 (May 10); Meghan’s senior art exhibit, Meghan finds out she’s getting a scholarship for OCAC[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649).  
  
Year 8

| 

June 26

| 

Meghan graduates high school[(Part 29)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6693649)  
  
  | 

July

| 

Poe turns 41 (July 14); Jess and Rey sixth wedding anniversary (July 14); Poe and Finn sixth wedding anniversary (July 21).  
  
  | 

August

|    
  | 

September

| 

Finn turns 32 (September 15); Amelia starts 4th grade; Meghan starts at the Oregon College of Arts and Crafts; Caleb starts kindergarten.  
  
  | 

October

|    
  | 

November

|    
  | 

December

|    
  | 

January

| 

Amelia turns 10 (January 4)  
  
  | 

February

| 

Luis turns 5 (February 2)  
  
  | 

March

| 

Meghan turns 19 (March 11)  
  
  | 

April

|    
  | 

May

| 

Caleb turns 6 (May 30) Leia turns 72 (May 10)  
  
  * [**Year 16, September:** Amelia’s first day of college; she meets Eli. (Amelia/18, Eli/20, Caleb/14, Meghan/27, Finn/40, Poe/49) (Ficlets #6)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610/chapters/15869317)
  * [**Year 21, September:** Amelia and Eli get married  (Amelia/23, Eli/25, Caleb/19, Meghan/32, Finn/45, Poe/54) (Ficlets #6)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610/chapters/15869317)
  * [**Year 26, July:** Amelia announces pregnancy (Amelia/28, Eli/30, Caleb/24, Meghan/37, Finn/50, Poe/59 (Ficlets #1)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6849610/chapters/15635479)




	2. Amelia's Visit - Rated G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 28-year-old Amelia comes to visit Finn and Poe.
> 
> Future fic, this takes place in Year 26 of the timeline.

Finn adjusted his glasses, trying to find the best angle for the legal document, then sighed. Now that the big 5-0 was on the horizon, his perfect eyesight was betraying him. He found a length that worked, and continued reading. He heard the screen door open and shut, and then Poe was sinking onto the porch swing with him, placing an arm lazily around Finn’s shoulders. Finn sighed happily this time, snuggling into Poe and placing his head on Poe’s shoulder, and continued to read.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, Finn set down the document, and angled his head to look up at his husband. Poe was staring out onto the land, probably calculating crop rotations and feed costs and a billion other decisions he needed to make to keep Organa’s going. A slight breeze was rifling through his gray hair - he’d been so resistant to the gray that Finn always found so sexy, but now, at 59, he’d finally settled into it. Poe must have felt him looking, because he glanced down at Finn, then smiled. “Have I told you today how cute I think those glasses are?”

Finn rolled his eyes, but smiled too. “No, I don’t think you’ve gotten the daily compliment in yet. Thank god you did, I was starting to worry.” Finn reached across his lap, finding Poe’s hand and clasping it. He felt Poe place a tender kiss across his hair, then lean his own head on top of Finn’s. This had become routine for them, now that Caleb had earned his Masters and moved out. It was nice, really, it was. It reminded Finn of the early days. Finn smiled at the memory, and also at the niggling thought he kept having that he wanted to open up their lives to foster parenting, now that their children were grown and gone. He was pretty sure Poe would be amenable.

Finn and Poe both sat up at the sound of a car coming down the driveway. Finn gripped Poe’s hand. “Did Amelia say she was going to visit?”

Poe brushed a kiss over his cheek. “Don’t worry, baby. She would have called if it was something urgent.”

Finn relaxed slightly when Amelia got out of the car, a sunny smile on her face. She was still in her work clothes; as program director at the local Y, she got to be casual most of the time, but today her clothing was splattered with paint. “Hey guys!” she called, dancing her way to the porch - she still had too much energy to just walk - as Finn and Poe stood.  She went up on tiptoes to kiss first Poe and then Finn on the cheek.

“Can you stay for dinner? Is Eli coming over?” Finn asked.

Amelia took both of their arms and began guiding them inside the house, to their amusement. “Not tonight. But Eli and I would love to have a family dinner sometime soon, yeah?” She led them to the couch, then put pressure on their arms until they sat. If she hadn’t had such a gloriously happy expression on her face, Finn would have been consumed with worry. Still, he sought out Poe’s hand again as Amelia perched on the edge of the coffee table in front of them.

“Is everything okay, nugget?” Poe’s use of the childhood nickname made Amelia smile.

“Everything is wonderful. Dads,” she started, and she could barely contain her joy, “I’m pregnant! You’re going to be granddads!” Amelia popped up off of the table, pacing excitedly and flapping her hands a bit.

Finn practically launched himself off the couch, swallowing Amelia in a hug. “Oh, sweet pea,” he said, tears already springing to his eyes. He felt Poe’s arms encircle both of them. He was so happy, and so afraid - they’d had a hard time with fertility, and with her diabetes - but she’d wanted one, just one child to help pass on the legacy of her dead mother and father. “You've told Eli, I take it.”

Amelia’s voice was muffled against Finn’s shirt. “We’ve known for awhile, but I wanted to wait, and be sure, and… make it out of the danger zone.”

Finn released her, but took her hand, not wanting to break contact with his baby. His Amelia.

“How far along are you?” Poe asked. Finn noted that his face wasn’t dry either.

Amelia ran her free hand over her stomach. “Three months today. I wanted to tell you the minute I found out, but…”

Poe ran a hand over her cheek. “It’s okay, Amelia, we understand.”

She smiled, leaning into his hand a bit. “If I wasn’t wearing this paint poncho, you’d be able to see just the tiniest little bump. I’m due in January.”

Finn pulled her into his arms again. He couldn’t stop himself. “I’m so happy for you, sweet pea. I love you so much.”

“Dad, you’re going to make me cry,” Amelia said with a sniffle that told Finn she already was.

“Too bad. You made me cry. We like to share in this family.” Amelia giggled even as she wiped away tears.

To let Amelia be, Finn wrapped his arms around Poe instead. “So, family dinner. Are you making the announcement then? Or are you telling Caleb and Meghan beforehand?”

“Eli and I wanted to announce it all at once, but we knew I had to tell you guys first. Can you keep it a secret for a few days?”

“Absolutely, nugget. Absolutely,” Poe said with assurance.

Amelia reached out for their hands, and they stood for a moment, in happy, watery silence, the original trio of Smith-Damerons. Then, she squeezed their hands, and pulled away, saying, “I should get going, Eli’s going to want to know how it went. And he’s going to want to feed me, he’s forever feeding me these days.” She smiled fondly.

The three of them walked to the door. From the porch, Finn waved, and called, “Drive safe, sweet pea!”

“Love you!”

When she pulled away, Poe gathered Finn into his arms and swung him around, making Finn laugh. “I can’t believe it,” Poe said as he set Finn down, his face exuberant.

Finn felt the worry again and decided not to voice it. “A new generation to enjoy Organa’s.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt #27: "I'm pregnant."


	3. "Marry Me?" - Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn/Poe
> 
> This take place during year 1 of the timeline, in between the fics "The Proposal" and "Vows."
> 
> CW: This fic deals with the very beginnings of Finn's anxiety - not a full blown attack, but still there.
> 
> Prompt #28: "Marry me?"

**Finn:** Call me, please.

Finn glared at his phone. According to the notifications, Poe hadn’t even looked at his message, so now Finn was equal parts annoyed and worried as he walked across the UC Davis campus back to his housing. He sent off another text, then called for good measure. No response, either way. Finn fought back the urge to growl. The long distance thing could be so fucking frustrating sometimes.

He may have closed the door to his room aggressively. Finn wouldn’t have called it ‘slamming.’ No, slamming was what he did to the huge stack of books he’d checked out from the law library, all part of studying for the Bar.

When his phone rang, asking if he wanted to Facetime with Poe, Finn almost ignored it, but his better nature got the best of him. “Hi,” he answered shortly, then softened when he saw the worried look on Poe’s face. “Hi, Poe. Everything’s fine.”

Poe searched his face. “Everything doesn’t look fine. I’m sorry, babe, I left my phone in the cottage, and it was a crazy day at the farm.”

To be honest, Finn wasn’t exactly sure what he’d been mad at, just that this anger had bubbled up at him when he couldn’t get in contact with Poe. “I called because I need you to talk to Kari face-to-face. Have you seen what that woman sent us for flower arrangements? Somehow I’m not getting through to her over the phone.”

Poe winced, but replied, “Yeah, I can talk to her, of course.” Finn got the feeling that Poe didn’t like to come between Finn and the wedding planner. And really, Kari made excellent decisions and was helping Finn out immensely, but not being able to be there in person was frustrating Finn to no end.

“One of us has access to her on a daily basis.  That one of us is you, Poe. I need you to step up and take part in this wedding,” Finn said, his frustration showing. He felt something strange inside him, like he was losing control of what he was saying. “I wish I could be there doing this, but I can’t, so if you want to get married in July, you better fucking help me! I’ve got so much to do with the Bar exam, lord knows I’m not ready at all for that and it’s in a fucking month, and I-”

“Marry me?” Poe interrupted, and Finn was brought up short, his heart rate slowing, his breath coming out more evenly. Poe’s expression was halfway between attentive and anxious. It was adorable.

Finn felt himself melt, and smile. “I already said yes, baby.”

“Then the rest doesn’t matter, right? As long as you’re there, standing across the aisle from me, we’ll be okay.” Poe smiled at Finn tentatively. “I’ll talk to Kari personally. Of course I will. I love you, Finn.”

Finn sighed, anger completely drained. He carried Poe into his bedroom and laid down. “I love you too, Poe. I miss you. Tell me about your crazy day.”


	4. "Please don't do this." - Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe & Shara, Poe & Ben
> 
> This takes place during Poe's childhood and teenage years. It's the story of Ben rejecting Poe, so:
> 
> CW: Homophobia, homophobic slur, racist slur.

Poe Dameron knew for sure he liked boys in the fourth grade. Shara figured it out pretty quickly, too, when she was called into the school principal’s office and told that Poe had hit on another boy with a line from the Deadpool comics. Actually, the teacher, the principal, the other boy’s parents, all of them figured Poe was just being a prepubescent boy, spouting off stuff he didn’t know about, and Shara let them think that. When she got Poe home, though, and was watching him do the dishes as the first part of his punishment, she asked.

“<How do you feel about Manuel, Poe?>” 

Poe halfheartedly scrubbed at a dinner plate. “<I like him.>”

“<Answer in English, your teacher says you need to practice, and so do I.>” She softened her command with a smile.

“I like him, mama.”

“<Do you like him like I like your father?>”

Poe’s little shoulders shrugged, then sagged. “I’m not supposed to.”

Unable to resist, Shara swept her baby up in a hug from behind, then turned him around to look him in the eyes.  “<My little one, I want you to love who you love. It’s okay. Your father and I will never, ever not love you. Not if you like boys. Not if you like girls. Not if you want to join the seminary and like only God.>” Poe wrinkled his nose and opened his mouth, probably, Shara thought, to protest the idea of being a man of God. Ah well, some parental dreams must die. She cut him off before he could shatter her illusion, though. “<But Poe, I need you to understand, and be safe. Because it’s not safe for you here, it’s not safe for boys who like boys. Next month, when we move, it won’t be safe there either. There are places in this country where you’d be safe, but we can’t be there. There’s no work for people like us there.>” Shara placed a kiss on Poe’s forehead, held him tight even when he wanted to squirm away. “<So I love you, all of you, but for your safety, I need you to pretend…>”

\--------------------------

Poe Dameron knew for sure he didn’t like girls several years later, after accompanying Christina to the 8th grade dance. He’d asked her, partially to go along with his mom’s directive of ‘pretending,’ and partially to see if he was just full-on gay or something else. Poe knew that any 8th grade dance was bound to be awkward, but touching Christina’s waist felt downright wrong, and before they went out to their respective parent’s cars, he chickened out and pecked her quickly on the cheek.

Definitely full-on gay.

\-----------------------------

In high school, Poe struggled to follow Shara’s directive, as much as he knew it was in his best interest. There was a big news story in the next town over, about a Gay-Straight Alliance club at a school being refused time to meet, and the ACLU had gotten involved and everything. It had not made anyone at Poe’s school want to start a GSA.  The times of the year he was at Independence High School, he latched on to Jenny, a closeted lesbian, and they used each other as beards.  When he was in one of the other high schools, he kept his mouth shut about it. He flew under the radar as one of those kids that gets along with every clique, but doesn’t really hang out with any of them. He was nice, so it worked. The benefit of moving so much was being able to make friends easily, even if they were never good friends, deep friends, best friends. That was okay, because he had one of those.

His parents knew. Leia and Han knew. And Ben knew. Ben, his best friend, even if they only got to hang out for part of the year together. It was the good part of the year, anyway. The Damerons usually spent most of second semester and the first half of summer on Organa’s. Poe had told Ben early on, and to his relief, it hadn’t made a difference in their friendship. In some ways, Poe felt like the farm was the only place he was allowed to truly be himself, his only safe haven. He lived for the 5 months they got to spend there every year. Every homophobic slur said so easily in a class, every time someone asked him when he was going to get a girlfriend, all of it just slid right off of him as long as he remembered that he’d be at Organa’s soon.

Until Snoke. When the Damerons moved back to Independence in Poe’s junior year, Ben didn’t come out to see them pull in like he always did.

Running into the main house, taking the stairs double, Poe eagerly knocked on Ben’s door. The door cracked open just wide enough for Ben’s body. “Hey, buddy!” Poe went in for a hug, but Ben put his arms up.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Don’t--what?” Poe was completely flabbergasted. But it was Ben, and sometimes Ben was moody.  Maybe it was a new thing. “Sorry, of course, whatever you want.”  When Ben just stood there, glaring at him, Poe shuffled his feet. “So, uh, want to catch a movie tonight? Head into Salem for dinner? I finally got my license, and Dad said I could take the truck.” Poe’s face split into his most winning smile as he thought of it.

Ben remained stony. “I don’t hang out with your kind anymore.”

The smile fell from Poe’s face. “My...kind? Like...Hispanics?” He was shocked. Ben had never, ever said anything racist before. In 9th grade, he’d punched a boy who called Poe a ‘wetback.’ When the story had finally been dragged from the boys, Han had clapped his son on the back and told him he was proud of him, and Ben had blushed, but preened.

Ben seemed to glare harder, as if the idea of him being racist was that personally offensive. “No, I’ve found Jesus, I’ve been cleansed, Snoke says, but not if I hang out with fags like you.” Ben stepped back and shut the door with a click that echoed in the hallway.

Poe stood there in shock, pale, a cold sweat breaking out on his skin. And then he did something he would think back on and regret for much of the next 20 years. He begged. He leaned his head against Ben’s doorway, and begged. “Please don’t do this, Ben. You’re the only one who knows me. You can’t do this.” Tears were falling down his cheeks, and he raised his fist to keep knocking on the door, but when only silence answered, he flattened his palm on the door and let out one sob. 

The sound of his sob shocked him back into action. He balled up his hand into a fist, but kept the sense about him to not use it on Leia’s property. He swiped furiously at the tears on his face, stopping by the bathroom to wash his face so that no one would know what had happened. And he let the anger mend his broken heart, but it did so with jagged edges. The anger carried him through high school, and into the military. Into reckless situations. Into the arms of a fellow soldier. Through his parents' death. It was only when he was back on the farm permanently, back with Leia and Han, that the land soothed him, that the anger began to subside, that the jagged edges started to smooth over, that Poe Dameron became the kind of man that Finn Smith would want to love, want to marry, want to spend his life with.


	5. "You're the only one that I trust to do this." - Rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, after the angst of the last installment I thought we need something a little different. @beautifullights1 asked for some stormpilot smut based on 24/25 from the kink prompts, which are bondage and blindfolds respectively. And you know, I alluded to the fact that Finn and Poe had done just that for Poe’s 38th birthday. But I wasn’t as confident about writing smut back then as I am now. So, for your reading pleasure, Finn gives Poe his birthday present. They’re both new to it, so it’s fairly vanilla. Mostly a lot of body worship on Finn’s part. :) This takes place in between Poe and Finn’s chapters of Birthdays.
> 
> Obviously NSFW. Light Dom/sub. Enthusiastic consent. WE ARE IN "E" TERRITORY! :)

Finn very deliberately walked through the house, locking the doors. The kids were gone, spirited off to the main house after Poe’s birthday dinner. The adults - and probably Meghan - all knew that Poe and Finn wished to be left alone, but that wouldn’t stop the country rules - doors were meant for opening, not shutting out. And Finn didn’t want any interruptions. Poe watched him, leaning against the hallway wall, with already lust-filled eyes. What Poe had requested had gone beyond anything they’d done before, and to be honest, Finn had had to do some research on the internet - behind closed doors of course. They’d negotiated what the circumstances would be, and Finn found that he was almost as excited as Poe was, because honestly, he was going to get to do what he loved best - loving on Poe, albeit in slightly different circumstances.

He pulled his husband into his arms. “Safe-word?”

“Tractor,” Poe answer matter-of-factly, if a little breathlessly. This wasn’t something they wanted to play with in everyday life, but for this special occasion? Finn could give Poe that.

“Color?” Not that they’d started, but…

Poe smiled, like Finn had wanted him to. “Green.”

Finn circled his arms around his husband’s waist. “I hope you saved room for dessert after that meal.”

“I could go for something sweet.”

Finn reached into his pocket, pulling out a length of white silk, warmed from his body. “I want you to let me feed you. Worship you,” he whispered into Poe’s ear, and Poe shuddered and nodded.

“You’re the only one I trust to do this.” Poe’s response was shaky.

“I know, baby. I know.” Carefully, Finn turned Poe around, placing a kiss on his neck before tying Poe’s hands loosely but securely behind his back. Confinement and giving over the control, those had been Poe’s requests. Finn? He truly did want to worship his husband, to show him how proud he was of how far Poe had come this year.

Poe raised his eyebrows when Finn turned them away from the stairs and instead led Poe to the living room. “It’s going to be slow,” he murmured as he helped Poe sit. He straddled Poe, leaning in to run his lips across Poe’s. “Stay right here, baby. I’ll be right back.” Finn sauntered to the kitchen, returned with a bowl of strawberries, and sat once again on Poe’s lap. “From our garden. It was hell getting Meghan and Amelia to leave them alone.” Finn grabbed a berry, then groaned. “Shit. I wasn’t going to bring up the kids. Did I kill the mood?”

Poe laughed, long and deep, his eyes still dark. “Believe me, baby, you’re doing just fine. Green, all the way.”

Finn smiled, reassured. He held the strawberry up to Poe’s lips. “Bite.” He leaned in to lick the strawberry juice off of Poe’s lips, then swept his tongue inside. “Delicious,” he purred, holding up another for Poe. It was strange, how satisfying feeding Poe was. He was a man who had spent his adult lifetime working to feed others. Now, Finn got the special privilege of feeding Poe, and from the look in Poe’s eyes, he was loving every second of it.

Finn wrapped his arms around Poe’s neck, watching Poe’s eyes grow darker at the display of Finn’s power. “You’re so brave, Poe.” Finn peppered kisses across Poe’s brow. “So kind.” Along his jawline. “Such a good provider.” Finn couldn’t resist anymore, and took Poe’s mouth, nibbling at his bottom lip before sweeping his tongue inside. He ground down against Poe, and Poe groaned. He felt Poe’s arms tense as he innately fought the restraints, probably wanting to grab Finn’s hips and pull him down harder, then whimper happily when he remembered that he was confined. After a few long minutes, Finn drew back, eyes on Poe’s. “Let’s take this to the bedroom.”

He helped Poe up, guiding him up the stairs, and sitting him on the bed, kneeling behind him. “I’m going to remove this restraint, Poe. I want you to relax your shoulders.” Finn deftly undid the knot, then helped Poe loosen his shoulders up, massaging where they’d gone tense. He quickly removed Poe’s shirt, and placed a line of kisses along Poe’s back. “Lie back, baby.”

When Poe was laying down, Finn straddled him again, producing two more silk strips from his pocket. Just as lovingly as before, he moved Poe’s arms up, tying them both to the headboard. “How does that feel?”

Poe tested the bonds, and Finn’s mouth watered a bit, watching his husband’s biceps flex. The knots held, though, and Poe’s eyes flicked closed for a second. “Good. Perfect,” he breathed.

“One more, baby.” Finn wrapped the last silk tie around Poe’s head, covering his eyes. Poe bit his lip, and Finn groaned, leaning down to take a nip of it himself. “Don’t come until I tell you.” Poe groaned, but nodded. “Enjoy.”

He could really get used to this, Finn thought, as he drank in the sight of Poe, torso stretched before him. And with that thought, he devoured. He teased and tortured with lips, tongue and teeth. He massaged, followed touch with kiss, and took his time completely taking Poe apart. Poe was writhing, moaning, and Finn hadn’t even removed his pants. Hell, Finn was still fully clothed. And he almost, almost wanted to see if he could get Poe to come untouched, just from the teasing, but really, then, he’d be denying himself what his mouth was watering for.

With the same deliberate care, Finn worked Poe’s pants down and off. “You’re beautiful, Poe. All work-hardened and sun-tanned and mine.” Poe shuddered at the compliment.

Finn wrapped a hand around Poe’s cock, proud and erect and oozing pre-cum from the extended foreplay. At Finn’s touch, Poe’s body jerked like it had been shocked by a live wire, and he fought against the restraints again, throwing his head back onto the mattress. Finn smiled wickedly.

He licked a strip up Poe’s cock, felt Poe’s shaking as he tried to keep himself from coming. “Good job, Poe. Keep holding on.” His mouth engulfed the head, tongue swirling. Poe’s hips rose involuntarily, then came down again as he whimpered. “It’s okay, baby. You can fuck my mouth. Come for me, Poe.”

Poe thrust into his mouth again, and Finn took a good grip at the base, pumping. At a shout, Poe came, flooding Finn’s mouth. Finn swallowed greedily, draining Poe dry. “Tastes good with strawberries, Poe,” he murmured when he’d finally let go.

“Fuck, Finn.”

“Still green?”

“Oh God.”

Finn stopped. “Poe, color check,” he said, his voice commanding.

“Green. Green, go. Good to go,” Poe babbled.

Finn placed a kiss on Poe’s thigh as a reward. “I’m going to be right back. Just getting myself a little more ready.” He left the bed, wetting a washcloth for cleaning later, then hastily stripping down and grabbing the lube from their bedside table.

Kneeling between Poe’s legs, Finn nudged them apart, running soothing hands up from Poe’s knees. He spread Poe’s cheeks, and leaned in, running his tongue around Poe’s rim, causing Poe to moan, then squirm when Finn’s tongue darted inside. Above him, he felt Poe’s cock start to stir, though it was still mostly soft, spent. However, by the time he’d opened Poe up with his fingers, Poe was standing at attention again.

Finn moved, forward, pressing himself inside, the feeling all at once familiar, like coming home, and new. He bottomed out with a shudder, placing a kiss on Poe’s neck. He slowly withdrew, drawing a moan from Poe, then thrust home again, but instead of a groan, Poe choked out, “Yellow, Finn. Yellow.”

Finn immediately paused. “What do you need?”

“I need to see you, Finn, my love, I need to see you, I don’t want the mask on, I need-”

“Shhh, shhh, shhh, baby. Hi,” Finn reassured, smiling down at Poe as he removed the silk from his eyes. “I’m right here, I have you. Do you want your arms released?”

Poe’s eyes were bright, and Finn worried that he’d gone too far, despite the relatively light play. But Poe was shaking his head. “I just needed to see you. I love you so much.”

Finn cupped Poe’s face in his hands, kissing his tears away. “I love you, Poe. You’re so good.” At Poe’s smile, he asked, “Color?”

“Green. Please fuck me, now.”

“Whoa, bossy.” Finn began a long, slow torturous pull out again, then held when just the tip was still inside Poe.

“Finn,” Poe moaned.

“You’ll take what I give you.” Eyes holding Poe’s, he slid in again. He felt Poe clench around him. “Jesus,” he muttered, and Poe grinned knowingly at him. “We remove one little mask and all of a sudden someone’s the boss again.” Finn groaned, sucking on Poe’s neck. “But it just so happens you’re driving me crazy, so it looks like you win.” Finn picked up the pace, and Poe rolled his hips in approval. After everything that night, Finn knew he wasn’t going to last long. “Think you can come again?” Finn fisted Poe’s cock.

“I don’t know, I’m not 22 anymore,” Poe admitted, though his eyes were blissed out.

“Thank god I never knew 22-year-old Poe, you’d’ve killed me.”

“We’d’ve killed each other, baby.”

“Oh god, Poe, I love you, I love you, I love you,” Finn chanted, matching rhythms between his hand and his hips. He shouted and buried his face in Poe’s neck, spending himself inside of his husband as Poe managed a small shot across his stomach. Finn chuckled. “Not bad for a 38 year old.” He lifted his head, saw that Poe’s eyes were closed and his head thrown back. He brushed a kiss across Poe’s cheek and extracted himself, getting the washcloth to clean them both.

Carefully he untied Poe, and massaged his stiff joints. “Can I get you anything, baby? Water?”

Poe shook his head lazily. “Hold me.”

Finn wrapped himself around Poe, and dragged the sheet up over them. “Of course.” He pressed a kiss into Poe’s neck, and murmured his love until they were both asleep.


	6. "I swear it was an accident." - Rated G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 100% pure domesticity porn. This fluff is the good stuff, folks.
> 
> This takes place the summer before Meghan's senior year of high school. Amelia is 8 and Caleb is 4.

“I swear it was an accident, Poe.”

“Yeah, Daddy, an accident.”

Poe looked at the scene in the mud room, flabbergasted, as the love of his life and his two youngest children looked back at him with pleas in their eyes.

\---------------------

5 hours earlier

“I’m sorry I have to work at the farm today. Are you sure you still want to go, all by yourself?” Poe’s arms were circled comfortably around Finn’s waist as he stirred the eggs for breakfast. 

“I’ll be fine.  _ We’ll _ be fine. We’re just going to look at the animals, and maybe get some food…”

Finn felt Poe’s lips curve into a smile on the back of his neck. “You’re going to go on a ride, too. You know it.”

“Maybe. Anyway, it’s just the Polk County fair. It’s not like the Salem one or anything.”

“Yeah, and it’s just Amelia and Caleb. Not like they’re terrors.”

“Bite your tongue. They’re very well behaved when they’re among company.” Finn shifted, scooping eggs onto plates, and Poe released him.

“Oh right, it’s only at home that they’re terrors.”

Finn laughed, and Poe joined him. “Babe, they’re going to hear you.” He turned and poked Poe in the stomach. “Don’t tell me you’re still mad at them for this morning.”

Poe captured Finn’s poking hand, then pulled his husband into his arms, mouth a hair’s breadth away from Finn’s. “You looked so good this morning. God forbid I want to take the time to let you know that, on our anniversary and all.”

Finn wrapped his arms around Poe’s neck and closed the distance. “And I appreciate that, I really do. But our children aren’t terrors, and I’m going to be fine by myself, even if I will miss you, and-”

“And the toast is burning!” Poe leapt to rescue the toast as Finn doubled over in laughter, then dodged the blackened toast Poe launched his way.

“I think you’re the terror, Poe Dameron.”

Poe deftly deposited the salvageable toast on the plates, then turned so quickly he caught Finn off guard, circling his arms around his waist and lifting him off his feet. “I’ll show you a terror.”

“Ooo, do your worst.”

Poe’s mouth was open to respond, when Meghan came to the door. “Uh, guys? I’m just going to take these plates for the rest of us…” She grabbed three plates and left in a hurry.

Poe met Finn’s eyes, and they both burst into laughter. Poe set Finn back on the ground, and they met in a kiss again; when they parted, Finn ran a hand through Poe’s curls. “God, I love you. Happy fifth, baby.”

“Promise me we’ll still be embarrassing our children on our fiftieth wedding anniversary,” Poe murmured, eyes bright with mirth.

“Absolutely, babe, absolutely.”

“Daddy! If you don’t eat we can’t go to the fair!” Amelia’s shout was just a little too loud, edging toward bellow, and Poe and Finn winced. 

“Terror,” Poe whispered, eyebrows raised.

Finn pushed him away playfully then picked up his plate. When he got to the doorway, he looked back over his shoulder and winked. It was going to be a good day.

\---------------

It would have been better with Poe, or Meghan, but before leaving, Finn had sat Amelia down and asked her to help him keep an eye on Caleb as any good big sister would. Amelia took him up on the task wholeheartedly. 

And really, it was an amazing day, just the three of them. He spent a bunch of time watching them crawl all over the tractors - not like they couldn’t do that at home, but the fact that it was at the fair made it  _ special.  _ Amelia and Caleb cheered him on as he threw some baseballs to win them both a stuffed toy. They went through the animal sheds, where Amelia lingered at the 4-H bunny section. He and Poe had talked about getting Amelia a bunny when she could join 4-H as a fourth grader, but she had a while to go yet.  

“Hey, look, Ames, we could sponsor a bunny!” Finn showed Amelia the sign, asking for donations for the 4-H program. “What do you think, does it sound like a good cause to spend some sharing money on?” Amelia’s allowance was split three ways: spending money, saving money, and sharing money. 

Amelia looked up at him with eyes the size of saucers. “I could help the bunnies?”

He smiled down at her, running a hand over her braids. “Yeah, shall we?” He was afraid her enthusiastic nod would break her neck. They filled out the paperwork, Finn kicking in a little more than Amelia actually had saved up for her sharing dollars, because he couldn’t deny Amelia this.

Finn wasn’t really sure exactly where he started to lose control, though he thought it was sometime after the bunnies. They’d hyped Amelia up, and she was playing this game where she’d run far away from Finn then run back. As long as she didn’t get too far, Finn didn’t mind her burning off her excess energy. 

He tried to get them to watch one of the horse shows, thinking Amelia would be riveted, but she kept climbing around the bleachers with Caleb, and he kept getting glares from other parents, so he picked up Caleb and dragged Amelia out. “Let’s get some food!” he said brightly at their disappointed faces.

That opened up a big debate about what food to get; Caleb was going through a picky stage, and Amelia kept asking for things that would definitely blow her blood sugar out for the rest of the day, and Finn didn’t want to have to deal with that by himself. So, he made the executive decision to order ribs and corn from a stand.  He even managed to find them a place in the shade to sit, and for a brief, blissful moment, everyone was happy.

He could tell Caleb was heading toward cranky though, overstimulated and in need of a nap. Caleb was covered, somehow, in barbeque sauce. It was even in his hair. Finn didn’t need to ask how; he’d raised Amelia after all. Magical toddler physics. He started to wipe the worst of it off, and realized he didn’t have enough napkins to get the job done. “Hey, sweet pea, could you go get some more napkins?”

“Yeah Daddy!” she exclaimed, and ran off.

Caleb was starting to squirm, and Finn knew he’d only tolerate a little bit more of the scrubbing before he had a tantrum, so he was just stopping when he heard Amelia wail, “Daddy!” He turned, panicked, and his baby girl was stumbling toward him with blood running down her knee. 

“Oh, honey, what happened?” Finn looked at the pile of used tissues in his hand, trying to think about where he’d seen the bathroom. Amelia was crying, holding out her palm so he could see she’d skinned that too.

“I f-f-f-fell.” Her face crumpled as Finn assessed the damage. Some dirt and gravel. He needed reinforcements.

Beside him, Caleb began to sympathy-cry. Yeah, he definitely needed reinforcements. Good thing they were only 15 minutes from home. 

“Okay, sweet pea, you’re going to be okay, I know it hurts right now. We’re just going to go home and-” The prospect of going home made Caleb wail harder.

Amidst this chaos, someone tapped Finn on the shoulder. When he turned around, he was faced with a teenager holding a rabbit.

“Yo, man, I’m glad I found you. You left without your rabbit.” 

“I...what?” Finn sputtered. 

\---------------------

And that’s how Poe found them in the mudroom. Caleb, whose barbeque sauce seemed to have migrated everywhere, leaving him a sticky mess. Amelia, who had tear tracks on her face and a bloody knee, but the biggest smile he’d ever seen. Both of them had stuffed animals covered in barbeque sauce and blood.  At first, Poe thought Finn had another stuffed animal clutched to his chest, but then the Angora rabbit made a mad attempt to escape Finn’s arms, and he noted a look of desperation in Finn’s eyes.

“Which part exactly was the accident?” He said, trying to hold in his laughter at the pure exasperation on Finn’s face at his statement.

His husband glared, then thrust the rabbit out at him. “I was referring to this.” He stepped closer and muttered in Poe’s ear. “You try and tell Amelia that there’d been a mistake.” He passed the rabbit off to Poe. “Caleb and I are going to take a shower. Maybe you and Amelia can figure out what to do with her new pet.” Finn leaned over to pick up Caleb, then held him out in front of him like he was a ticking bomb. Caleb giggled in delight. “And there’s gravel in her knee.”

Poe snagged Finn as he walked by, brushing a kiss across his cheek. “I love you.”

“Uh huh,” Finn brushed off, but there was a small smile hovering around his mouth.

“There’ll be a beer waiting for you when you’re done with your shower.”

A genuine smile now. “Well then, I love you, too.” He walked out of the mud room.

Amelia tugged on his jeans. “Can I hold him, Daddy?”

 

Poe used his free hand to pull down the cat carrier they kept to take Buli to the vet, depositing the poor squirming rabbit inside. “Sure thing, nugget, just as soon as we’ve cleaned that knee up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting Amelia to get a bunny for a really long time.


	7. "Just once." - Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia knows moving away to college is going to be hard, so she pushes herself to make new friends.
> 
> "Just once." was the prompt.
> 
> This is unadulterated fluff. Fluffy fluff fluff. Because I had a shitty day and need Amelia fluff.
> 
> Rated T for swears.

Class officially started in a day, but she'd already ordered her ebooks, mapped out her walking route, and had a bittersweet goodbye lunch with her dads and Caleb. At first, she thought her dads were being silly and overprotective; after all, she was only going to be an hour away. And she knew she and Daddy-Finn would be texting all the time. But when they'd pulled away from her dorm, waving, Amelia realized that for the first time since she was an orphan, she was on her own. Nobody had her back. She was torn between excitement and trepidation.

Her social anxiety hadn't really gotten better over the years, but it hadn't gotten worse either. Molly, who was off attending some small private liberal arts college in the Midwest, had made Amelia promise that she was going to try new things. “New things suck without you,” Amelia had whined, pulling her best friend in for a hug before she left for PDX and her flight. 

Molly had squeezed her hard, and patted her head. “I want you to promise me you’ll give new people chances to get to know how awesome you are, Amelia Mae. Without throwing up on their shoes.”

“Never going to live that down, am I?”

Molly gave her one last quick hug. “I promise we’ll text.” She slid into her parent’s car, and watched them drive away, waving. Less than a week later, her family was driving away from her too, and Amelia was struggling with feeling alone.

So, it was because she knew her dads were worried about her, and because Molly would want her to, that Amelia signed up for her dorm’s bike ride around Eugene. Her roommate, while nice, apparently had come to campus with friends. Amelia gulped thinking of trying to fit in with not one but three people all at once. Three people with inside jokes and shared pasts. That was definitely cheating, Amelia decided. So she'd declined their invitation to go get pizza.

“Have you ever ridden before?” her RA Karina asked, handing her a helmet. 

“Just once.” Amelia winced. “I'm a farm kid, we didn't have much in the way of sidewalks. And I pretty rode my horse everywhere.”

“Oh my gosh, you have a horse! You're so lucky!” Karina gushed. “Well let's get you up on a bike, see if you remember the basics.”

“They don't say “like riding a bike” for nothing, right?” Amelia climbed on, pedaling experimentally. The only thing that was different was that, when she'd tried Molly’s bike years ago, it had had foot brakes, and these had hand brakes, and multiple gears. After a few wobbly minutes, though, Amelia picked it up again, like she always did the physical stuff.

They rode out in small groups to avoid clogging the roads, and Amelia was paired with a girl equally as quiet as her, Marian. The silence was companionable as they rode, though. 

They were rounding a corner when it happened. Amelia braked to take the corner, but forgot she didn't have foot brakes, lost control of the bike, and ended up jumping the curb and crashing into a tree in front of someone’s house. She heard a “Shit!” and honestly didn't know if it came from herself or someone else as she lay there, slightly dazed and trying to assess the damage.

“Hey, are you okay?” That was definitely someone else. A male voice. Amelia heard feet rushing to her even as Marian and a strange guy came into her vision.

She felt pain in her leg, and winced. If she'd broken it again, the day before classes started… She struggled to sit up, but the guy gently put a hand in her shoulder. “Wait, is it okay if I check for broken bones?”

Amelia took in the guy for the first time. To be honest, he was kind of nerdy looking, springy dirty blonde hair cropped close to his head, large black glasses that might have looked hipsterish on another guy, but looked genuine on him. Attractive nerdy, Amelia decided. She glanced over at Marian, who shrugged.

“Um, sure, my leg hurts,” Amelia replied, lying back. “Do you have a lot of experience with bike related injuries?” She wasn't sure where the teasing statement had come from; the only thing she could blame it on was the lingering daze from the crash.

“I'm pre-med,” he said, efficiently running light hands over her arms. When he got to her legs, however, he paused. “Well shit.”

“What?” Amelia started to sit up, alarm evident in her voice.

“Something, the gear chains probably? Tore up your calf.” He whipped off his shirt, revealing a skinny chest and arms, muscles definitely present but not prominent. When he put the shirt against her calf, she winced, and he smiled up at her sympathetically. “Sorry, just want to stop the bleeding.”

“I know that,” she said, unsure why she felt defensive. 

“Right,” he replied, looking away.

“Sorry. And thank you,” Amelia responded, contrite.

“It's okay, you're not exactly having the best day of your life.” He lifted away the shirt, and Amelia watched him examine the wound with care. “I don't think you need stitches, but I could clean it and bandage it, if you want to come inside.” He nodded up at the house whose lawn she'd crashed on. 

Amelia turned to look, then gulped when she saw the Greek letters on the side. She was excited about University of Oregon, but she'd been anxious about the Greek system. Frats, especially, made her nervous, if movies and news stories were anything to go by. “Um… Marian, would you come with me?”

“Sure,” the other girl replied.

“Hi, I'm Eli.” He stood, then offered her both of his hands to help pull her up. When they stood together, she realized he was close to her height.

“Amelia. Hi.” She held out a hand, and he took it, shaking lightly. “This is Marian.” She tried to take a step toward the house, and her injured calf protested.

“Do you mind if I,” Eli said, slipping an arm around her waist to hold her upright.

“No, that's fine,” she replied, as Marian went ahead of them to open the door.

“Welcome to Alpha Epsilon Pi,” Eli said, gesturing with his free arm.

Amelia had been expecting more Solo cups, or maybe a keg just right there in the hallway. She could tell this was a place where boys lived, but she was pleasantly surprised to see no indication of the atmosphere from that old Animal House movie Daddy-Poe liked to watch.

He led her to the kitchen, and there was where she found the most evidence: a fridge topped with liquor bottles, and a sink full of dirty dishes. But really, none of it was as bad as she’d been expecting.  Eli helped her sit, and Eli hurried off to get supplies. 

“I’ll have to admit, I didn’t think I’d end up in a frat house before school even started,” Marian said quietly. “Okay, actually, I didn’t plan on ever ending up in a frat house, I’m kind of a “stay in my room, watching Dr. Who” kind of girl.”

Amelia smiled at her. “Me either. Thanks for coming in with me.”

Marian shrugged like it was no big deal. “What floor are you on?”

“The 5th, you?”

Marian’s eyes lit up in surprise. “Oh, me too!  What room?” They figured out they were on opposite sides of the building. 

Amelia decided to make Molly proud of her. “Want to eat dinner together at the dining hall tonight?”

Marian smiled back. “I’d like that.”

They were interrupted when Eli returned efficiently, reclothed, and sat on the floor, pulling Amelia’s leg gently into his lap. He further startled her expectations when he took care of the wound quickly, without making her feel uncomfortable about the fact that he had access to her mostly bare leg. 

“Thanks, Eli. You’ll make a good doctor.” Amelia pulled her leg back, and found she could now stand and walk. She pointed to the bloody shirt. “Get that in cold water right away.” 

“Right, thanks. Uh, you need a ride back to...wherever?”

Amelia smiled, but brushed him off. “No, that’s okay, I can walk my bike back to campus.”

“Oh, you’re heading to campus? I need to get some supplies at the bookstore. Mind if I walk back with you?”

Amelia blushed, exchanging a look with Marian, who raised her eyebrows. “Uh, sure.” 

“Great! I’ll meet you out front, I just need to get my wallet and keys.”

Eli rushed out of the kitchen again, and Amelia began limping to the front door, Marian by her side. “I think he  _ likes _ you,” Marian whispered near her ear.

Amelia wasn’t sure she could get any redder. “I think he’s just being  _ nice.”  _

“Mmm, you could be right.” 

\-------------------------

“Eli walked my bike all the way back to campus. I’d love to say I knew that day, like my dads say about their first day.” Amelia lifted her glass and nodded at her fathers, seated right in front, both crying already, and the wedding wasn’t even until tomorrow. Daddy-Finn brushed a tear away and gave her a little wave. “Eli will tell you I made it hard for him.” She bumped her hip into Eli’s shoulder, and he smiled up at her from the table.

“It was worth every frustrating minute, Amelia-mine.” He kissed her wrist without disturbing her drink, and Amelia melted a little.

“But there’s no doubt in my heart now, Eli Cohen.” She sat quickly, glad to have her speech over with, and passed the mic off to Eli.

He leaned over to place a kiss under her ear. “Good job, Ames. I knew you’d get through it.” She smiled at him gratefully, her heart still pounding as he rose. “Amelia tasked me with doling out the thank yous, so of course, thank you to everyone for making it here tonight. If everything tomorrow goes as well as tonight, we’re going to have the best day of our lives.”

“Don’t jinx it!” Caleb called out, and everyone laughed.

Eli smiled and looked down at Amelia. “It’ll never be anything but. So I know I should give generic thank yous, but I’ll come back to that. I’d like to single out Amelia’s dads, Finn Smith and Poe Dameron. When I first learned Amelia had two dads, I thought, ‘Shit, two people to kick my ass if Amelia calls for it.’” The small group laughed again, and Poe raised an eyebrow at Eli teasingly. “I learned rather quickly that Amelia can kick ass for herself. But loving Amelia means you get to join the long line of people willing to do anything for her, the line headed by Poe and Finn, followed closely by Meghan and Caleb. Thank you, Finn and Poe, for bringing the Smith-Damerons into existence. I’m so happy to be joining you guys.” 

Amelia leaned into Eli’s side, tears threatening to ruin her makeup, as she blew a kiss to her fathers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At some point I promise we're going to get glimpses into the future for Meghan and Caleb too. I know they're neglected right now but they won't be for long. :)


	8. "Come over here and make me." - Rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn's all hot and bothered over Soccer Poe. 
> 
> E rating! Smut ahead!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there’s a bit right at the beginning of “We are not broken,” the fic where we meet Meghan and she joins the family, that could use some expanding. Specifically:  
> \------------------  
> “Hey, Daddy?” Amelia called from the dining room table.  
> “Yes, sweet pea,” Finn answered distractedly, scouring the kitchen cupboards for the applesauce packets he knew he bought at the store.  
> “Daddy?” Amelia’s voice was closer this time, and Finn turned around to find her staring up at him.  
> He crouched. “Yes, sweet pea?”  
> “Did you have a nightmare last night? Because I heard you yelling and I know sometimes I yell in my dreams so I thought maybe you had a bad dream?”  
> Finn felt himself flush as he remembered exactly what Poe had done to him last night to get him to lose himself and yell out loud when Amelia had been sleeping. This awkward family moment has been brought to you by our sponsor, Soccer Poe , Finn thought sarcastically. He schooled his face into a calm expression. “Yeah, Amelia, I had a bad dream, and your daddy helped me fall back asleep afterwards, just like he helps you. Sorry I woke you up, sweet pea.”  
> \------------------------------  
> Would you like to know what exactly Soccer Poe did to make Finn yell? Well I know I did…

_This is so wrong._ Finn’s hand clenched hard enough to have his nails biting into his palm, and the slight pain cleared his head a bit. But then he looked back out to Poe on the soccer field, and he was breathless again, and thinking, _This is so wrong. This is so wrong._ He should definitely have been over this by now, right?  He should _not_ have been sitting on the bleachers, trying to subtly adjust himself, when his five-year-old daughter was chatting happily with Mary right beside him. He talked himself down, only to have Poe glance his way with fuck-me eyes. _Fuck._

“Daddy, do you like my hair?” Amelia tugged on his pant leg, effectively distracting him. She lifted her arms, and he pulled her up into his lap.

He schooled his face into one of serious consideration and made Amelia turn her head this way and that, until Amelia was a giggling mess in his lap. He ran his hands over the flat black french braids and tugged a little at the ends. “It looks beautiful, Amelia. Did you thank Mary?” Amelia nodded vigorously, but scrambled off of his lap anyway, rushing back to Mary and throwing her arms around Mary’s neck in a hug. Mary hugged back with just as much strength.

“Daddy, can I go kick the ball for a bit?”

“Yeah, sweet pea, just stay in sight, okay?” Finn smiled as she rushed off. Amelia was always in a rush, he mused.

Mary scooted closer to him and offered him her water. “Need some?”

“No, I’m good,” Finn replied, eyes moving between Poe and Amelia.

She nudged him with her shoulder. “Are you sure?”

Finn tore his eyes away and raised his eyebrow at her instead. “Uh, yeah, why the insistence?”

She smirked. “Because before Amelia distracted you, you were looking awfully _thirsty_ over here.”

Finn rolled his eyes, glad his cheeks wouldn't show the red. “Oh my god, Mary.  You’re the worst.” He turned back to his surveillance.

Mary nudged him with her shoulder again. “Aw, don’t be that way, Finn. When you’re married to the second finest piece of ass this county has to offer, you’re allowed to get all lusty-eyed.”

“I have a five year old. And - don’t tell anyone, we’re not even sure anything will come from it - but Poe and I have another appointment with Sharon, tomorrow.”

Mary’s eyes widened. “You’re getting another kid?”

“I know, it’s soon. But it’s a special case and Sharon thought specifically of us.” Finn watched Amelia kick the ball against the arena wall, ignoring the other small kids, and sighed. “I mean, nothing’s guaranteed at the meeting tomorrow, but maybe it would be good for Amelia to be around another kid. I worry about her.”

Mary leaned into him, hugging him around the waist. “Of course you do, because you’re a good father.” Mary pulled away, then smirked again. “And sometimes good fathers need a good fucking lay, you know?”

Finn burst out laughing, then followed her stare to where Poe was using his t-shirt to wipe his face. By lifting it to completely expose his stomach and some of his pecs. All the feelings from before resurfaced, and Finn groaned. Mary patted his knee. “Good luck, mi amigo.”

\-------------------------

By the time they’d gotten through dinner, and Amelia’s bedtime ritual, Finn was completely frustrated. Poe made matters worse, giving him dark-eyed looks every time he glanced Finn’s way.

He was lingering over his own bedtime ritual, having just finished brushing his teeth, when he glanced in the mirror to see Poe, naked except for his sleep boxers, leaning on the door to the bedroom. “Come to bed, Finn.”

It was an order, and it made Finn’s pulse pick up speed. But Finn was frustrated, and needed something a little more. “Come over here and make me.” He met Poe’s eyes in the mirror, saw them flash with something. Anger? Lust?

Suddenly Poe was behind him, breath on his neck, skin touching Finn’s deliciously. “Run that by me again?” Poe growled in his ear.

“I said, _make me.”_ Finn rolled his hips back, feeling Poe’s growing cock along his crack. This, this was what Finn loved about Poe being more aggressive in bed. Finn didn’t want to be subdued, not the way Poe liked. He wanted to be challenged. Poe knew this; he’d asked, once, if Finn minded that they didn’t have this type of sex very often. Finn had snuggled in closer, and told Poe never to worry about such a silly thing.

Poe’s hands moved over his arms, pressing them down so they were both leaning a bit over the counter now. He pressed a kiss to the side of Finn’s neck. Finn started to push back, and Poe bit in lightly. “You’re in a mood, aren’t you?” he murmured, kissing tenderly the area he’d bitten.

Finn pushed back again and wanted to whine, so needy. “Yeah. The type of mood where I won’t put up with neck kisses. Are you going to fuck me, or am I going to have to take care of myself?”

“Well I was going to fuck you, but now you’ve intrigued me.” Poe backed away, separating himself, and this time Finn did whine. Poe walked out of the bathroom, and despite himself, Finn followed, watching as Poe flipped the lock on the door, then leaned against it and folded his arms over his chest.

“You’re not going to fuck me?”

Poe’s smile was absolutely wicked, Finn decided. “I think you’re going to have to take care of yourself.”

Finn narrowed his eyes, but crossed to the bed. “Fine.” He slipped his thumbs underneath the waistband of his boxers and turned away from Poe, sliding them slowly down over his ass before bending to take them completely off. “I don’t need a man,” he replied petulantly as he flicked a glance over his shoulder at Poe, who still looked bemused.

He got up on the bed, locked eyes with Poe, and began to stroke himself. Poe’s tongue darted out, licking his lip before he bit down on it. Finn moaned a little, squeezing to slow his excitement a bit. Still, he never took his eyes off of Poe’s. It was like a game of sexual chicken; he was trying to tempt Poe to bed, and Poe seemed content watching him jack himself, and Finn wasn’t sure who was going to break first.

“I thought you wanted to be fucked.” Poe's voice was quiet across the bedroom.

Finn raised an eyebrow even as he squeezed again, trying not to come. “You’re right.” He reached for the lube on the nightstand, then hastily slicked up a finger. Spreading his legs wide so Poe could see, he circled his rim before nudging the finger in. God, it amazed him every time how tight the muscle was at first. He moaned louder now, finally taking his gaze off of Poe as his eyes slid shut.

“Quiet, Finn. Little ears.”

“Shit.” But Finn bit down on his lip as he worked a second finger in, curling up inside, seeking the spot, curling, looking for it, getting frustrated. He added a third finger, and there it was. Finn shuddered, groaning as his fingers slipped over his prostate again. His other hand went from gripping the sheets to his cock, and he was so close he could taste it.

“Fuck, stop.” At first Poe’s command didn’t register, but Finn felt the bed sink with his weight and opened his eyes to slits. Poe had shed his boxers sometime in the last few minutes. Poe’s hand was tentative on Finn’s wrist, his eyes blown wide with lust now. “It’s fucking hot, baby. So fucking hot.”

Finn let his fingers slip out on a moan. “I’m ready for you, Poe, so fucking come here.”

“Get on your hands and knees.”

Finn was ready in more ways than one. He was ready to take the orders now, and he hastily followed them. He felt Poe’s hand on his hip, rough and gentle at the same time; felt the other hand, lubed now, test his entrance. “You are so ready, you did such a good job preparing yourself, Finn.”

Finn rested his head on the bedspread, pushing his hips higher. “Jesus christ, Poe, you have the patience of a fucking saint.”

“I take that to mean that you don’t.” Finn felt Poe’s head pushing past his rim now, and almost sighed in relief. “That you just want me to get. To. the. Point.” Each word was punctuated with a slow thrust that sank him deeper into Finn.

“Poe!” Finn called out, when Poe bottomed out.

“Shhhhhh.”

“Ngnh,” Finn groaned, muffled by the bed.

Poe had a hand on his back now, steadily pumping in and out of him in a rhythm that Finn thought might actually drive him insane.

“I swear to God, Poe, if you don’t go faster…”

“I mean, I can stop, if you want.”

“Fuck, no!” Finn yelled as Poe picked up speed.

“Touch yourself,” Poe growled in his ear, and Finn did, eyes squeezing shut at the sensation of Poe nailing his prostate with every stroke. Finn had barely stroked his dick twice before he came, spilling onto the sheets below.

He clenched down on Poe and above him, Poe panted, then grunted, and Finn felt the warmth of Poe coming inside him. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he muttered as Poe slipped out of him, then moved them into a spooning position.

Poe chuckled against his back. “Jesus fucking Christ is right. You have got to be the mouthiest bottom I’ve ever met.”

“Oh, because you’ve met so many,” Finn replied dryly. Finn had only been the second person Poe had topped in his life.

Poe arms squeezed around him. “Hey, this is me, not complaining.” He felt Poe shift, then his weight lifted off the mattress. “Now get up, we need to change the sheets and clean up.” Finn felt a swat on his butt and giggled a little before rolling away from the mess and toward Poe, who held out a hand.

Sex-drunk, they giggled together as they performed the tasks, before redressing and unlocking the door, should Amelia need them in the night. Finn fell asleep with one hand still tangled in Poe’s curls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always figured Finn's slight Dom qualities would make him a pretty mouthy bottom. Combine that with the more aggressive Soccer Poe, and the personalities might clash a little. :)


	9. "I think we need to talk." - rated G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meghan's got a big announcement - but Amelia beats her to the punch.
> 
> This takes place directly after chapter 2, in year 26 of the story.

“We’re pregnant!” Amelia and Eli were standing arm in arm, beaming at the crowd gathered in the backyard. After a brief silence, there was a cheer all around, and after a few seconds, Meghan joined in, raising her glass of wine to toast.

_Oh God,_ Meghan thought. _Amelia’s going to hate me._

\----------------

It had taken several years for Meghan to discover something dangerous about her office in the Pearl District. On the surface, everything was amazing. She loved her job as a graphic designer because it let her exercise her creativity and earn money. She still made art in her free time, but it was at her own pace and what she wanted to create. The firm gave off the young and hip vibe, but had been open for going on twenty years, and she couldn’t have been happier there, despite cranky clients and a heavy workload. 

One afternoon, when a particularly tough client had just sent through another round of revisions, Meghan had pushed away from her desk and walked over to the windows to watch the rain fall on the busy street from the second story office. And that’s when she saw them; she had always known there was a school in the neighborhood, but this was the first time she’d walked to the window when school was being released. And there came the flood of students, coming out of the doors and into the rain, pulling up hoods or tipping their faces in delight, stomping in puddles, and steadily lightening Meghan’s mood. Something tugged at her heart - longing? She absently noted the time and got back to work.

Over the next several years, she found herself drawn to the window when she knew the kids would be out. There was something soothing about them. It took her an embarrassingly long amount of time to come to the realization that she performed the ritual almost daily because  _ she  _ wanted her own kids. It struck her almost like a blow one day, and sent her into depression spiral that she’d had to talk out with her therapist. 

The problem as she saw it was that she was still depressingly single. When she hit thirty, she’d told herself that in her twenties, she’d just been too picky. Her fathers had set too high of an example for her. She just needed to lower her standards to find a partner. But then she’d visit home, and see her dads interact, and realize she wanted what they had - and that whatever current partner/boyfriend/crush she currently had just wasn’t cutting it. Then Amelia had brought Eli home for a Friday family night, and the idea that  _ the one _ was out there somewhere, waiting for Meghan, was planted in her mind again. 

And if she hadn’t met  _ the one, _ she couldn’t have kids, right?

“Single-parent adoptions are possible. Do you feel you might not be able to take on the responsibility by yourself?” Her therapist's voice was calm, not challenging, but Meghan felt challenged anyway.

“Of course I-” Meghan paused. “It’s just that my dads were - are - such perfect partners, raising us. And look how Big Sam handled being a single parent.” The words were out of her mouth before she’d even thought about them, and she reached up to rub her brow. She hadn’t thought about  _ him _ in years, and yet here he was, always haunting her. “That’s a stupid thing to think, I know. I  _ know _ that Big Sam was the exception, not the rule. I don’t know why my mind went there.”

“It’s perfectly acceptable for you to have complicated feelings about parenthood, Meghan. We can do some work to make sure those feelings don’t turn into unjustified fears that hold you back from what you want.”

Meghan nodded.

A few months later, she worked up the courage to visit an adoption lawyer and start the process. She hadn’t told anyone in her family, because her fear was that, as a trans woman, the process might never come to fruition. She was financially stable; she’d paid off her surgery over a year ago, and owned her own small home in the suburbs - at the time, she’d told herself she was tired of living in the city, but now she realized she’d probably been preparing for a child. She was 36, so it wasn’t like she was getting any younger. Hell, Poe had adopted Amelia when he was 35. 

It was a slow process, and still she kept the classes and the home visits and the stress of it all from her family. Poe would have said she was bottling again, and she was - but what was the harm in disappointing more than just herself if everything fell through?

Until the call. She’d been walking her dog - a stupidly beautiful black lab mutt named Beast - when the call came. 

“The orphanage in India has a child they think is a match,” explained her lawyer, Teresa.

“I...I thought India was going to have a problem with me being trans,” Meghan replied, voice trembling.

“Apparently not. She’s a beautiful little girl, Meghan. Just gorgeous, I can’t wait to show you her file. Perfectly healthy except-”

“Except?” Meghan asked when Teresa hesitated.

“She’s only 6 months old, but there are many indications that she’s hard-of-hearing.”

“Oh,” Meghan replied, thinking of Chris. The long-time Organa’s farm hand (and her dad’s successor as he started handing over more of the business’s reins on his long, slow road to retirement) was the reason she’d been able to check off American Sign Language on "Languages Known." The whole farm had learned a bit, but Amelia had gotten especially into it, and her enthusiasm had in turn roped Meghan in. She was probably rusty - she tried to get down to the farm once a week but sometimes it didn’t happen - but she could brush up.

She realized she’d been silent for awhile. “I’d love to look at her file. When can you see me?”

\-----------------------------

She was the first to get to family night, and after she released Beast into the yard, she found Finn puttering around in the garden, pulling weeds. “Hey, Dad,” she called, her smile reflected on his face when he turned and looked up at the sound of her voice.

“Hey, sweetie,” he murmured as he pulled her into a big bear hug. Her dislike of being touched had the awkward tendency to flare up still sometimes, especially around strangers, but her dads knew they didn’t need permission for their hugs anymore. She sighed into him. Finn had a way of hugging her like he had missed her so much, even if they’d seen each other the previous Friday for family night.

He pulled away, and she linked her arm through his, walking toward the side door. “How was your week?” she asked.

“Helped a lot of people, so I can’t complain,” he replied, opening the door for her, then removing his muddy shoes. “We’re expecting a full house tonight, Amelia has news.” There was the barest hint of a smile on his face.

“Oh, good. Even Caleb?” Caleb was notoriously the hardest Smith-Dameron to convince to give up a Friday night for family. 

“Yeah, he texted earlier about heading out.”

“Well, look at him, being a responsible adult now.”

Finn patted her on the shoulder. “He’s not that bad, and you know it.”

“Yeah, well, what are siblings for?” She grinned as they walked into the kitchen. “I have some news to share tonight, too.”

As always, the first thing to flash across her father’s face was concern. Finn was reliable that way. “Care to give me a preview?”

“It’s good, I promise. Is Chris coming tonight?”

“Yeah, I think Amelia texted him.”

“Meghan must be here,” they heard Poe call from the living area. “Beast is chasing a squirrel through my petunias.” Poe’s voice was amused.

“Oh jeez, sorry Dad.  I’ll go calm him down,” Meghan said as Poe came into the kitchen. She rushed out, but he caught her by the waist and dragged her into a hug first. 

Outside, she moved Beast to the back yard - hopefully he’d stay away from the petunias - then headed back around to the front to sit on the porch and watch her family gather.

\---------------

It really was a full house, Meghan mused. Amelia had that influence on people. She’d managed to gather Snap and Elisa, even Luis, though Sophia was taking summer classes and hadn’t been able to come. Cassie and Ben had brought Leia, who at 91 was still the life of the party. Chris was laughing and signing with Mary and Edgar in the corner. Several other foster veterans had surrounded Poe, having a mini-reunion. Jess and Finn were sitting in lawn chairs, trading shop talk. Meghan knew that Finn had been ecstatic when Rey had retired from the military and Jess had joined his law firm. Rey and  Amelia were showing some of the children how to play corn hole while Caleb and Eli challenged each other to a game.  Around the edges, Beast and a half dozen other dogs chased each other. The yard was filled with a variety of ages, all part of the Farm Family, which seemed to grow bigger every year. All of a sudden, Meghan was nervous to share the news of her impending adoption to such a big crowd.

After Snap and Chris were done distributing hotdogs and hamburgers from the grill they’d been manning, Amelia clinked on her glass to get everyone’s attention. Eli stood by her, arm around her waist.

“I’m so happy you guys were all able to make it. I’m just so happy, I might cry,” Amelia started, and her glittering eyes certainly proved her correct. Eli squeezed her tighter. “We’re pregnant!”

As the cheer from the crowd went up, Meghan took a gulp of her wine. God, there was no way she could announce it now. Amelia would think Meghan was trying to steal her thunder. She was headed for India in two weeks - what was she supposed to do, just show up with a kid in tow to the next family night, and be like, “Surprise! I magically have a baby now!”

Meghan managed to avoid Amelia by skirting around the crowd of well-wishers monopolizing her sister’s time.  She wandered around the side of the house, away from the celebratory atmosphere, Beast at her side, and found herself at the memorial trees. When they’d lost Anne a few years ago, they’d planting a matching dogwood by the one memorializing Finn’s dad. She placed her hand on the trunk. “I miss you. I really do.” She sat in silence for a bit, absently petting Beast’s head, thinking of Anne, thinking of Amelia.

She was so caught up she didn’t catch Amelia’s footsteps until her sister was sitting beside her. Amelia’s knee nudged hers. “I think we need to talk.” At Meghan’s sustained silence, Amelia continued. “Why are you avoiding me?” The tears in Amelia’s voice surprised her, and she looked up at Amelia’s tremulous frown.

“I- you’re going to hate me.”

Amelia’s brow furrowed. “I don’t hate anyone.”

Meghan scoffed, even though it was true. “You’ll hate me, after this.”

“Meghan, what’s wrong?” Amelia’s hand crept over to take one of Meghan’s. Meghan gripped it, staring down at their joined fingers.

“I’m so sorry, Amelia.” And then the whole story came spilling out of her. By the end, Meghan was crying herself. “And if you don’t want me to tell anyone, that’s okay, but I’m going to pick up Riya in two weeks and I want her to be a part of the family.” She looked up then, to Amelia’s stunned face. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled again. “I know you’ve been trying for a really long time, and your baby would have been the first grandchild, and-”

Amelia stopped her with a squeeze of her hand. “Oh honey. It’s not a competition. That’s not how we Smith-Damerons work, right?”

Meghan offered her a watery smile. “You mean Suzuki-Smith-Dameron-Cohens?”

“Legal forms hate me.” Amelia returned her smile. “But  _ I  _ could never hate  _ you, _ Meghan. Especially not over something so amazing. I’m so excited to be an aunt, you have no idea. Our babies are going to be best friends, I just know it. Cousins! Like Luis and Caleb.” Amelia wrapped her arms around Meghan. “You should tell everyone tonight.”

“Hey ladies, hiding from the crowd?” Meghan and Amelia both turned at the sound of Poe’s voice. 

“Hey Dad,” they both called as Poe walked over and leaned against Shara’s tree, bringing his arm up to grip one of the branches. Amelia nudged Meghan with her knee, and Meghan smiled back, nodding.

“I’ll go get Daddy and Caleb.” Amelia pushed up, rushing off like she always did. 

“Your dad mentioned you had something to announce, too, but that it was good, so that’s why I’m not going to make you tell me first.” Poe grinned as Meghan laughed. He knelt to give Beast a good rub down as they waited.

When the Smith-Damerons, plus Eli, were gathered, Meghan stood, like Amelia had for her announcement. “I just wanted to say that- and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys earlier, but I didn’t know if- but I should have told you earlier, I didn’t mean to bottle it up-”

“Megs,” Amelia said quietly, smiling at her in reassurance.

“I’m adopting. A baby girl. From India. In two weeks. She’s hard-of-hearing. Her name’s Riya.” Meghan smiled, and shrugged, as if to indicate ‘that’s it!’

Just like with Amelia’s announcement, there was a stunned silence. And then:

Caleb: “Oh dude, Megs, congrats!”

Poe: “When do you leave? What do you need?”

Eli: “Congratulations, Meghan.”

And Finn: “Meghan Ann Smith-Dameron, how dare you only give us two weeks notice-” But then, after Poe put his hand on Finn’s shoulder, he readjusted and opened his arms. “Come here, honey.” When Meghan stepped into his arms, he whispered in her ear, “I’m so proud of you, Meghan. So proud.” She pulled back, placing a kiss on his wet cheek.

Then, everyone mobbed her, Amelia hugging the tightest of all. When they broke apart, Poe turned to Caleb. “Hey, son, nothing to announce, right?”

“Oh God, I hope not,” Caleb replied, grinning.

Poe and Finn looked at Caleb with mock sternness. Poe started, “Remember, Caleb, always-”

“Use protection!” Meghan, Amelia and Caleb replied, rolling their eyes but smiling. 

“You mock me, but it always needs saying,” Poe protested, as Finn wrapped an arm around his waist.

“So, what’s the plan, Meghan? Are you going to tell the rest? Do you want us to? We’ll do whatever you want,” Eli said when the laughter had died down. Amelia murmured a little ‘awww,’ and went back into the arms of her husband.

“Well, I guess… yeah, we can tell everyone.” Meghan took a deep breath. She knew she wouldn’t feel ultimately safe until Riya was seated with her on the plane, headed back to the United States. But now that she’d told, it was very real. She was  _ adopting. _

“We need to throw you a baby shower!” Amelia squealed. 

“Oh, we only have two weeks, I don’t think-”

“If you don’t think I can pull together a baby shower in less than two weeks-”

Meghan laughed. “No, you’re right, I forgot who I was talking to.”

\----------------------

As their kids walked back to the party, Finn kept Poe back, melting into his husband’s body. “Looks like we’re getting that new generation a little early. Ready?”

“Are you going to accuse me of being a cheeseball if I say, ‘with you, I’m ready for anything?’” 

“Yes. Yes I am. But only because I haven’t called you a cheeseball in at least a week, so you’re due.” Finn buried his face into Poe’s neck. “Two weeks, I still kind of can’t believe it.”

“We should offer to stay with her, or at least one of us. Help her out for a bit.”

“Mmm, I like that idea. I have some time accumulated. Remember the first two weeks with Amelia?”

“We were so young.”

“Well,  _ I  _ was, but you were pretty old back then, too.” Finn laughed when Poe slapped his butt in retaliation. 

Poe gathered Finn’s face in his hands and brought him in for a slow kiss. “Let’s go back, baby."

They let the embrace fall away, but still held hands. As they walked back, they let their free hands drift over the trunks of the memorial trees, a ritual they tended to repeat often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the path to love is slow. Meghan's going to find "the one", but she'll find herself in her daughter first.


	10. "Kiss me." Rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @beautyfullights challenged me to write 300 words of Organa's Organics porn.
> 
> ThiqueThighSquad wanted wall sex and strong!poe. 
> 
> Thus this fic was born! ;)
> 
> This takes place after their marriage in Vows.
> 
> Smut ahoy!

They made it home this time. Just barely. Poe’s pickup was parked a little haphazardly across their drive, but it wasn’t like they had any neighbors to notice. Finn tried to get out of the cab before taking off his seatbelt and got caught, had to laugh at himself and readjust as Poe came around and yanked the door open wider. Finn’s breath caught in his throat when he saw the absolutely possessive look on his husband’s face, making him melt. Poe turned Finn in his seat, so that he was standing between Finn’s legs, and oh god, how he loved when Poe manhandled him. Which meant he moaned when Poe pulled on his arms to get him to lean down, then grabbed Finn’s head and crushed their mouths together.

  
When Poe’s hands went for Finn’s zipper, Finn gasped out, “Are we doing this here?”

  
“You want to wait?” Poe already had Finn’s pants undone and was stroking him through his boxers. When Finn just moaned again in response, Poe grinned wickedly. “I didn’t think so. Kiss me.”

Finn lifted his hips so Poe could slide his pants down, all the while raining frantic kisses over Poe’s face before landing on his mouth again.

  
When Poe finally reached down to run his fingertips over Finn’s cock, Finn actually whined, “Poooeeee…”

“Now who’s being impatient?” Poe grinned as Finn tried to buck his hips up, tried to send his cock sliding through Poe’s fist. “Fuck, I love you like this. All needy and desperate.”

“Poe, I swear to God…”

Before Finn knew what was happening, Poe’s fingers were sinking into the cheeks of his ass, spread wide to support him, and Poe was lifting him out of the seat. Finn gasped, leaning forward on Poe’s chest, wrapping his arms around Poe’s neck, expecting a long, slow slide down Poe’s front until he was standing, but Poe simply tightened his hold, biceps bulging, and stepped to the side, finally stopping when he pressed Finn up against the cab.

“Jesus Christ, Poe,” Finn said, breathy, as he wrapped his legs around Poe’s waist and reached down to squeeze a bicep admiringly. “I am so turned on right now,” he murmured, a touch of amazement in his voice.

“Funny thing, so am I.” Poe’s soccer shorts were leaving nothing to the imagination.

“Poe, in me?” Finn’s voice was a plea as he buried his face in Poe’s neck to suck a mark there.

Poe groaned, “No lube, baby."

  
“Fuck.” Finn rolled his hips against Poe, frustrated.

  
Poe balanced Finn in one arm, working his own cock out of the athletic shorts. “Thank god I’m not wearing my Levi’s.”

Finn groaned, biting into Poe’s neck when he thrust forward, causing their cocks to slide past each other. “You’re going to have to help, baby. Stroke us off,” Poe said as he supported Finn with both arms again. Finn reached between them, holding their cocks together with one firm hand. He watched, breath coming more quickly, as Poe’s arms stayed steady.

  
“I am so into this,” he gasped out.

  
“Good to know,” Poe responded, choking on the last word and leaning his forehead into Finn’s shirt. “Oh, yes, just like that, baby. So good, I love you so much.”

  
Finn wrapped his free hand through Poe’s curls, pulling him up for a messy kiss. He broke off, meeting Poe’s wrecked eyes with his. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” he chanted, in time with his strokes. He realized belatedly that his calves were sliding over Poe’s perfectly rounded ass every time he thrust, and he moaned again, capturing Poe’s mouth and erupting all over his own hand. He kept stroking, wanting to collapse on Poe but trying to get him off first. Finn tilted his head, nipping at an ear lobe, and Poe grunted, his hot come joining Finn’s between them.

  
Trying to spare Poe, Finn collapsed back against the warm metal frame of the truck. Poe let Finn’s legs drop slowly, and then he fell against Finn’s chest, sighing contentedly when Finn began running his fingers through Poe’s hair.

  
“Happy one week anniversary, husband.” Finn’s hand came down to stroke Poe’s cheek.

  
Poe leaned into his hand, making a small noise in his throat before opening his eyes to peer at Finn through his lashes. “Here’s to the next several thousand.” He turned his head to kiss Finn’s palm.


	11. "If you die, I'm going to kill you." Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting older has some drawbacks.
> 
> CW: Talk of cancer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I went ahead and wrote this whole thing thinking people get colonoscopies normally at 40, but it's actually 50, and I didn't go back and re-write it because I'm sick and I liked the part at the beginning and I didn't want to age everyone up 10 years. So yeah, colonoscopies at 50, not 40, got it guys?
> 
> Also welcome back to the farm, sorry I've been away from it for so long. I actually have another fic idea lined up to go after this too!

Finn closed the book quietly, keeping a close watch on Amelia and Caleb’s eyelids. Yes, he thought he’d done it, they were definitely asl-

“No, Daddy, keep going,” Amelia whined, her eyes still closed.

Finn just barely kept himself from rolling his eyes. “Uh uh. Negative. You are asleep, sweet pea. You won’t even remember this in the morning.”

She mumbled something into her pillow and Finn felt victorious. Now to just very carefully get Caleb to his own bed… Finn handled the sleeping boy like a ticking time bomb, but he needn’t have bothered. Caleb didn’t even stir in his arms. One thing about his son - when he went down, he went down for the count. He brushed a hand over Caleb’s curls after tucking him into bed. He had thought watching Caleb go off to kindergarten would be easier after watching Amelia do it, he really had. _Cheeseball_ , he admonished himself lightly.

It was all going by too quickly. In the hallway, with Meghan’s door closed, he could pretend the teen had closed herself in for the night rather than where she actually was, sleeping an hour away in her freshman dorm.

Downstairs, he collapsed beside Poe on the couch. “I figured having one less person in the house would make things less chaotic,” he groused as Poe leaned over to kiss his cheek.

“Think of it this way, with Meghan gone, we lost one in the “basically mature adults” column. The little ones almost have us outnumbered.”

“Shit, are you counting me in the basically mature adult column too?”

Poe laughed, caressing down Finn’s cheek before bringing his head over to lay a sweet kiss on Finn’s lips. “Don’t leave me alone in this fight.”

“Never,” Finn vowed, lips curving up. “You know, I don’t have any paperwork to catch up on, and from the looks of your empty lap, I’m assuming you’re done with farm stuff, so…” Finn captured Poe’s mouth again, a little more aggressively this time.

Poe pulled back, groaning. “I would love to follow up on that, but I need to tell you something first.” Poe reached down to gather Finn’s hands in his own, rubbing along Finn’s wedding band.

Finn frowned. “Okay, go ahead.”

“So you know how I had my physical today.” Finn’s heart jumped into overdrive immediately. _Oh god, oh god, oh god,_ his anxiety screamed, even as Poe rushed on. “Everything’s fine for right now.”

“Right now?” Finn said weakly.

“He wants me to have a colonoscopy. It’s standard for men my age. They should have started it last year.”

Finn’s mouth was suddenly dry. “But they don’t suspect…”

“No, baby, it’s just routine. I’m sure nothing will show up.” Poe’s face was searching his, his hands squeezing Finn’s tight.

“Right. Routine. That makes sense. Of course.” Finn clamped down on the panic riding through him. He forced a smile. “Have you scheduled it yet?”

“Yeah, a couple weeks from now.” Poe was frowning at him a little. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Routine. There’s not going to be anything there. I mean, you’re not my dad. You’re only 41. It’s just routine.” When Poe continued searching his eyes, Finn rolled his. “I’m _fine._ Seriously. I’m glad it’s not something actually wrong.”

Poe’s hand released his to rub his knee. “I’m sorry, I think I killed the mood.”

Finn was able to laugh a little at that. “Yes, so rarely do we cockblock ourselves. It’s kind of a novelty.”

“Want to watch an episode of Orange is the New Black?”

“Yeah.” As Poe got it set up on the TV, Finn wrapped himself around his husband, leaning into his body, listening to his heart, feeling his warmth, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Poe was going to be fine. Poe never got sick. Poe was the one who took care of everyone else in the household when they got sick. Poe was hearty, healthy. No way there could be something invisible inside him, waiting to take him out in the cruelest way possible.

As the credits started, and Poe wrapped an arm around Finn’s back, Finn remembered back to the first time Amelia had gotten sick.

\-----------------

The whimpering moan was not a new sound for Amelia, but that didn’t mean Finn was going to ignore it. She’d been with them for a little over three months now, and the nightmares were already so much better. Finn had confidence they’d subside completely eventually.

“I got her,” he murmured to Poe, who nodded and released Finn from the spooning position they’d been in.

Finn walked to Amelia’s room, surprised to see her lying down still. Normally when she had a nightmare she’d be sitting up, waiting for one of them to come help her go back to sleep. The little whimper came again, and Finn hurried to her side. “You’re okay, sweet pea,” he said, preparing to rub her back. The back of her nightgown, he quickly realized, was soaked through with sweat. Panicking, Finn placed a hand on her sweaty brow, biting down on his lip when he felt the burning heat there. “Poe,” he called, loud enough for Poe to hear through the monitor. He took the blankets off of her.

Finn heard the rush of footsteps from the hallway. “What’s wrong?”

“She’s got a fever, I think. You should get the thermometer. And maybe a cool washcloth. Poe, she’s so hot.”

Poe didn’t hesitate before turning back out of the room again. In seconds, he returned with the thermometer, handing it off to Finn. Finn stuck it in her ear, and she wailed in her sleep. “Shhh, shhh, shhh, sweet pea, it’s okay.” He wiped the sweaty hair off of her face as her eyes opened. “One hundred degrees even,” he said when Poe returned with a cool cloth.

“Not so bad then.” He sat on Amelia’s bed next to Finn, reaching to rub Amelia’s leg.

“Daddies, my ear hurts too much.”

“Aw, nugget, I’m sorry.”

Finn glanced back at Poe. “Should we take her to the doctor? She’s got a fever. Her ear hurts. What if the eardrum bursts or something?” Amelia whimpered at his words, and he immediately regretted saying it. He turned back to her. “That’s not going to happen, Amelia, I promise.”

Finn felt Poe’s hand rub his back, and he relaxed slightly. “We could call Leia and ask what she’d do,” Poe murmured.

Finn shook his head. “We shouldn’t wake her.”

Poe placed a kiss in Finn’s hair after standing up. “Let’s check the internet.”

“The internet will probably tell us the worst thing.”Still, Poe left the room, presumably to grab his phone.

Tears were leaking out of Amelia’s eyes. “It hurts, Daddy.”

“Shhh, honey. Here, want to cuddle?” He gathered her tiny body in his arms and sat farther in her bed so his back was against the wall. He rocked her as best he could, holding the damp cloth to her forehead.

Poe came back with his phone. “So the internet says it’s not an emergency unless her fever hits 103, but that we should take her to the doctor right away tomorrow.”

“That’s actually...sound medical advice from the internet. Should I be scared?”

Poe crawled up to sit beside Finn. “Here, let me take her for a bit. You have court tomorrow, you should get some rest.”

Finn reluctantly handed Amelia over, watched as she snuggled into Poe’s arms. He settled his head on Poe’s shoulder and watched his baby girl’s eyes droop.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,” Poe started.

“You make me happy when skies are gray,” Finn continued.

And together: “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you…”

\----------------

When Finn refocused on the TV, Piper was prattling about something or another. His hand clutched into Poe’s shirt. “You can’t die, Poe.”

“What? Baby-” Poe paused, turning the TV off.

Finn straightened. “You’re not allowed to die.”

Poe shifted to face him, gathering Finn’s face in his hands. “I’m not going to die, baby. It’s just routine.”

“Dad died.” Finn felt the tears starting to well up in his eyes.

“Oh, honey.” Poe pressed a kiss to Finn’s forehead. “That’s why they do this. To catch it, if it even exists, before it can get as bad as your dad’s.” His thumb brushed a tear off of Finn’s cheek.

“If you die, I’m going to kill you, Poe.”

Poe’s mouth tipped up a little at that. “Okay. You do what you need to.” Finn inhaled a shaky breath. “Aw, come here, baby.” Poe wrapped his arms around Finn, and Finn let the tears fall as Poe rubbed his back. “I’m not going to die. And you’re going to come with me in a few weeks, and see for yourself, how not dead I am. My doctor loves me, Finn. He said he’s very pleased with my numbers for a man my age. Can you believe he added that at the end. ‘A man my age.’ I’m 41 for god’s sake, not 70. He said I must have a pretty good life to have such good numbers, and I replied, ‘I definitely do.’ How could I not, with you here to take care of me?”

Finn choked a little laugh into Poe’s chest. “Poe, you’re the one who takes care of the rest of us.”

Poe stroked over his hair. “Bullshit.” That surprised Finn into genuine laughter. “How about we agree that we take care of each other, in the Smith-Dameron family?” Poe reached for his left hand with his own, their wedding rings touching as they linked fingers.

\-----------------------------

Finn worried his ring as he waited to be called back. Finally, a nurse called Poe’s name and he stood. She smiled warmly at him. “He’s in recovery now. He’s still coming out of the anesthesia. I imagine he’d like to see a friendly face when he wakes up.”

She led him back to a curtained room, and there he was, the love of his life, looking perfectly fine in his sleep. Finn immediately pulled a chair over and took one of Poe’s hands in his. They’d made Poe take off his ring for the surgery, and it was sitting heavily in Finn’s pocket. Finn rubbed the tan line where it should have been instead.

Poe was just coming around, smiling lazily at Finn, when his doctor came in. “Mr. Dameron, Mr. Smith. Everything was perfect! No trouble spots. I’ll see you in ten years.” The doctor shook their hands and made a swift exit.

When Finn looked back at Poe, he was grinning widely at him. “Told ya so.”

Finn brushed a kiss over Poe’s knuckles. “I love you, you dork.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lost a friend to ovarian cancer yesterday - I just found out about it today. We hadn't talked in about three years, but she was someone I considered a friend and a mentor, and one of the both most passionate and most level headed people I knew. I didn't get to say goodbye, because she wasn't that type of person. So yeah, fuck cancer, and get regular screenings where applicable, folks. Take care of yourselves. You're all precious.


	12. I almost lost you - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe drags Finn out to watch a meteor shower in the first summer of their relationship.
> 
> Set in August of the first year, so about a month after Ben pushed Finn.

“There was one!” Finn smiled at the childlike wonder in Poe’s voice. He turned his head on the blanket to watch his boyfriend’s face. From the corner of his eye, he saw a white streak, and Poe said excitedly, “There’s another one, did you see it?” Poe turned to see if Finn was paying attention, then leaned over for a quick kiss when he caught him staring. “You’re supposed to be watching the stars.”

“Can I watch you instead?”

Poe had dragged him out to the empty Organa’s field after being flabbergasted to learn that Finn had never watched a meteor shower. “It’s like, the best part of summer, Finn. We have to do it!” Finn had agreed, laughing, then immediately regretted his decision when Poe told him they had to be up at 3am for the peak of the shower. Poe had coaxed him out of bed with a kiss and the promise of coffee.

Finn had certainly looked at the night sky before. He’d been out in the New Mexican desert at night. But Poe was  _ fascinated. _ Within a minute of them both laying down on the blanket, Poe was pointing out constellations and explaining the mythology behind them. “And that’s why you never see the scorpion and Orion in the same sky together. Oh- did you see?”

Finn had caught a bright flash, again out of the corner of his eye. “Just barely. Tell me another story,” he yawned.

“If I do, will you fall asleep on me?”

“Of course not.” Finn yawned again, but he had no intention of breaking his promise. He had less than a week left on the farm before heading to UC Davis. Poe would be so much closer than if Finn had continued his studies in New Mexico, but he would still be so far away, and the farm would keep him tied to Oregon. Finn was counting every moment precious until they had to part.  He grimaced and shifted when the still-healing scar on his back twinged. 

“Are you okay?”

Finn wondered if he’d ever get used to someone else being so in tune with his moods, his emotions, his body. “I’m fine.” It was the standard reply for anything involving his back. Finn was trying not to be petulant about it. After a few minutes, Finn noticed that Poe was staring at him, not the sky. “You’ll miss it, babe.” He nodded at the sky as a small meteor lit the horizon.  


“I almost lost you.”

Maybe it was the setting. Poe had chosen one of the back fields, away from the main house or the cottage. The only sound was the crickets, and Poe’s steady breathing by his side. But all of a sudden he felt every bit as sentimental as Poe had sounded. He rolled onto his side, running a hand down Poe’s cheek, rough with night stubble. “You didn’t.”

“I wouldn’t have had this. I wouldn’t have known what I could have with you.”

“I’m still here.”

Poe sat up, and Finn met him halfway, Poe’s lips on his so achingly tender. Poe reversed their positions, so Finn was back on the ground and he was leaning over him, still kissing, a comforting hand caressing over his stomach. Finn moaned and shifted as Poe moved on to his neck, brushing his lips over Finn’s skin so delicately, like Finn was made of porcelain and Poe didn’t want to crack his surface. And that was nice, that was so nice, to languish in that feeling, the feeling that he was so precious to someone. _But you know what's also nice,_ Finn thought.  


“Poe, I want- I’m leaving in a few days. I want us to-” Finn had trouble completing his line of thought when Poe nibbled on his pulse point. They hadn’t had sex yet. Hadn’t even done oral since before Finn’s injury. “I don’t want to leave here without-” He wasn't sure how to put the words with Poe treating him so gently. How did he counter Poe's sweetness with 'I want to fuck you so bad'?  


Poe’s face was back above his, searching his eyes. “Are you sure?”   


_Thank god, he got it._ “Are  _ you _ sure?”

Poe’s eyes were hot as they met Finn’s. “Baby, I want you to fuck me so badly I can barely form a coherent thought.”

Finn laughed, worried eased. “That was pretty coherent.” He pulled Poe down for an ardent kiss. He couldn't imagine finding someone who was a better match for him than Poe Dameron.  


“I just don’t want to hurt you.” Poe’s hand swept over Finn’s side. “I don’t want you to hurt your back.”

Finn eased Poe’s head down to capture his lips again. “Well, I don’t seem to be having any problems right now, so what if you ride me?” At Poe’s look of apprehension, Finn continued, “I'm not going to lie, the first time I saw you on BB8 I wondered what you’d look like riding me instead.”

“Finn.” Poe kissed him more forcefully this time. 

“We have one problem,” Finn said. Poe grinned and reached for the back pocket of his jeans. Triumphantly, he pulled out a condom and a disposable lube packet. Finn’s eyes widened, and Poe laughed. “Were you a boy scout?” 

“I do believe in being prepared.”

“I appreciate that sentiment so much right now.” Finn pulled Poe down again, and crushed their mouths together. He ran his fingers through Poe’s hair, tugging on the curls. Poe groaned and broke away, hastily unzipping his pants and pulling them down. Beneath him, Finn started doing the same. Poe began unbuttoning his shirt, and Finn moaned in frustration. “Too slow.” He ripped at the last of the buttons to reveal Poe’s chest, and molded his hands over it appreciatively. 

Poe slicked up two of his fingers, and reached around to prepare himself. “Fuck, Finn,” he groaned, sliding up Finn’s t-shirt with his free hand and grounding himself on Finn’s skin. 

Finn tore open the condom and worked it down his cock, squeezing tight at the bottom to keep from coming at the sight of Poe fingering himself. Poe cried out, and Finn reached up to hold him steady. “You ready?”

Poe’s head hung a bit as he fucked himself on his fingers, then slipped them out. “I’m ready.”  He straddled Finn, guiding Finn’s cock to his entrance and to Finn he felt impossibly tight. He was about to tell Poe to stop, that he needed to stretch more, when Poe pushed down further and his head slipped past Poe’s rim. They let out simultaneous groans. Poe let gravity bring Finn in the rest of the way. When he was fully seated, he was such a fucking sight that Finn almost came. Powerful bare thighs exposed to Finn, straddling him, squeezing him, the muscles rippling. Poe’s button up shirt hanging loose down over them, which was somehow hotter than if Poe had been naked. It offered tantalizing glimpses of the hair on Poe’s chest.

Finn rolled his hips up, ignoring the twinge in his back, and Poe lifted up with his thighs before slamming back down. The rhythm he set was beautiful, so tight and hot around Finn’s cock. “Poe,” Finn chanted. He wasn’t going to last very long, and he wanted Poe to come with him, so he started pumping Poe’s cock through his fist. Poe groaned, his rhythm becoming erratic. Finn watched Poe’s face as he came, that beautiful face only Raphael could render, lost in ecstasy, a bright white streak of meteor passing just behind his head as he threw it back, eyes squeezed shut. Finn wanted to imprint it in memory, use this moment for the lonely nights he was facing at UC Davis. 

“Oh, fuck, I love you, Finn,” Poe groaned as he came down, and Finn stiffened with a shout of Poe’s name. Poe rolled his hips to help Finn ride it out, then collapsed on Finn’s chest, stroking everything he could get his hands on.

“Okay, I think I’m a convert to meteor shower watching,” Finn murmured into Poe’s hair, and he felt the vibration of Poe’s chuckle.


	13. Before you murder me, please let me explain - rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is July of year 18 of the universe: (Amelia/20, Eli/22, Caleb/16, Meghan/29, Finn/41, Poe/51). This is our first proper introduction to Caleb as a teen.
> 
> CW: Mentions of possible suicide, overdose, or alcohol poisoning

_Shit. Shit shit shit shit shiiiiiit._ Caleb glanced at the dashboard clock. Late for curfew by almost an hour. And his phone was dead, because he’d forgotten to charge it last night. His dads were going to kill him. And then he’d get the lecture about how his sisters had never caused this much trouble, which he knew was a damn lie because Meghan had pulled him aside after a heated exchange during a family dinner and told him she’d run away from them twice. He’d quieted as she’d talked to him, then whispered back to her that she’d just been doing what she needed to do to survive. _The first time,_ she’d admitted. _I think they like to forget about the second time because I was still…working stuff out in my head._ She’d smiled at him, his cool older sister who’d always seemed so mature. Thirteen years older than him, and a world of different experiences. He’d always envied her, growing up.

Caleb glanced at the boy passed out in his passenger seat. He was doing the right thing now. If his dads got mad at him for that, well, he’d just have to deal with their wrath later.

He screeched to a halt in front of the Emergency doors and scrambled out of the cab of his dad’s old pickup. He hauled Charlie up in his arms and hurried inside, calling out for help along the way. A nurse took one glance at the situation and found Caleb a bed. As soon as he knew he had an ear, he began babbling out the story as he knew it - Charlie was his best friend, Charlie had gone to a party without Caleb’s knowledge. Caleb had been alerted that Charlie had passed out, and Caleb knew Charlie took medication for depression, and when he’d gotten there, Caleb had found his medication on him, the bottle partially empty, and his breathing was so shallow that Caleb knew it was an emergency, but he also knew he could get Charlie here faster than the ambulance could get to the country house where the party was at.

A strong set of hands began to pull him away from Charlie’s bed as a pair of nurses worked with him. Caleb glanced up to see a large male nurse gently urging him away from the bed. “I’m sorry, man, but we need to let them work now, okay?”

Caleb nodded.

“Do you have a number for Charlie’s parents? Or their names?” The nurse pulled out a pad of paper.

“Yeah,” Caleb mumbled, rattling the numbers off automatically. It was a stupid party trick of his, being able to memorize number sequences quickly. Stupid and useless, as he hated math, but at least it was coming in handy now.

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen,” Caleb replied, trembling.

“You did a good thing, son. Do you have parents you can call for yourself?”

“I, uh, yeah, I do, but my phone is dead.”

The nurse led him to the nursing station, where he picked up the phone with a shaky hand. The phone barely rang before Poe picked up, and Caleb could detect the note of panic in his dad’s voice. “Hello?”

“Dad, it’s me.”

He heard rustling on the other end of the line, and figured he was being put onto speakerphone. This was confirmed when he heard Finn’s worried voice. “Caleb, why are you calling from the Salem Hospital? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He heard Poe make a comforting noise, and he could just see him stroking down Finn’s arm the way he always did when Finn’s anxiety came to the forefront.

“Before you murder me, please let me explain,” Caleb said, and he noticed one of the nurses glance his way. He turned, realizing his face was wet from tears.

“We won’t murder you, Caleb, if you’re alright. Can you tell us you’re alright, honey?”

“It’s Charlie.” Caleb’s voice got quiet as the tears crept in. “I think he tried to kill himself, or he overdosed, or he got alcohol poisoning but I- I- I don’t know what’s happening with him because they won’t let me be back there with him.” The sob came out before Caleb could stop it. “And I want to wait here but I don’t want to be alone, Dad. Daddy.”

“We’re already on our way, buddy. Your dad is getting the car started. We’ll be right there, okay? We’re going to be with you soon. Can you wait for us? Can you be strong, Caleb?”

“Yeah,” he replied shakily. “Yeah.” He hung up and shuffled to the waiting room, staring blankly at the bland beige wallpaper.

He talked briefly with Charlie’s parents as they rushed in and were shown to an observation area. A short time later, he was approached by two officers, one male and one female, and he tried to tamp down on the fine edge of panic that coursed through him, but he still gulped visibly.

“Are you the kid that brought in the minor in possession of alcohol?” The male officer’s voice was gruff and official sounding.

He nodded, back ramrod straight, making sure not to make any false moves. How many times had he sat through his dads’ lectures on safety around cops?

“We need to ask you some questions about the incident.”

Caleb had opened his mouth to say, ‘okay,’ when something caught his eye and he saw his dads walk in the door. At the sight of the officers, Finn pulled up short, then Caleb saw what he called “Dad’s lawyer face” take over as he strode to the officers, Poe’s hand firmly gripped in his.

“Hello, officers. We’re Caleb’s parents, but I’m sure you weren’t questioning a minor without parental consent, right?” Finn’s voice was cool, and Caleb sat up straighter still.

The female officer relaxed her stance. “Finn Smith.”

Finn narrowed his eyes a little before they widened again. “Rosaria. Or I guess it’s Officer Cabrera now?”

“Just graduated the academy in March. I’ll have to tell mama I saw you. We were just about to ask your son for his information to be able to contact you.”

Caleb watched as everyone in the group visibly relaxed. Finn and Poe flanked him, sitting in the chairs on either side of him. “I’d like to talk to my son privately first. May I do so?” Finn asked with authority.

Officer Cabrera’s partner furrowed his brows, but they both nodded and stepped away.

“Okay, Caleb, I need you to tell me the truth so I can figure out how we’re going to do this,” Finn said efficiently, and Caleb widened his eyes. He’d never heard his dad speak to him like this. He nodded once, comforted by Poe’s arm around his back. “Did you anything tonight that would be illegal? Drink anything?”

“No, I was at Georgie’s until she got the text about Charlie. I wasn’t even at that damned house for more than five minutes.” It burned a little that Finn had asked, that his dad didn’t trust him, even when the logical part of his brain knew that Finn was just trying to protect him. Finn nodded, once, and called the officers over, and Caleb realized that his dad was trusting his word, and felt a little more gratified.

The officers asked their questions, sometimes filtered through Finn to correct the wording, sometimes asked directly to Caleb. Yes, he knew where the party was and who was throwing it. Yes, it was common knowledge that there was going to be alcohol at the party. No, he hadn’t been at the party until he’d gotten the text about Charlie. No, he hadn’t had anything to drink. Yes, he’d be willing to take a breathalyzer test. _(‘Is that really necessary?’ Finn had interjected, and the officers had backed off about it.)_ When they’d finally exhausted their questions, they left the Smith-Damerons alone in the waiting room.

Finn wrapped his arms fiercely and tightly around Caleb, and Poe followed suit. “I’m so proud of you,” Poe whispered. “You did everything exactly like you should have.”

“We’re so, so proud of you, Caleb,” Finn echoed, and Caleb shook in his dads’ embrace.

“I don’t know why he did it, why would he do it?” Caleb’s voice came out cracked and broken.

Finn’s hand was rubbing up and down his back. “We don’t know what he did yet, Cay-cay, so we can’t speculate on why.”

Caleb dislodged one of his trapped arms so he could wipe at the tears on his face. “I think I love him,” he whispered.

“Oh, honey,” Poe murmured back, squeezing him in tighter.

“He’s just. He’s my Charlie, you know? I don’t even know why he went to that. That’s not our scene. Coach would give us both hell. If he makes it, is he going to get kicked off the baseball team? He lives for baseball. What’s he going to do without it?”

Poe took one of his hands. “Can I tell you something I have to tell your father a lot?” At Caleb’s nod, he continued, “We can’t think about getting through anything but this moment right now, because the future is uncertain. Tonight, we focus on sending our positive thoughts to Charlie and his family. That’s what we can do, okay?”

Caleb nodded, running a hand over the neat cornrows he kept for baseball season and summer.

Finn’s hand squeezed his knee. “I’m so glad you didn’t go to that party.”

Caleb made a derisive noise. “Preston’s an asshole. I hope Officer Cabrera skewers him. I mean, not literally. But-” His gaze slid away to the tile floor. “I saw Preston intentionally soak a street person with a splash from a huge puddle with that stupid luxury car of his.” Caleb’s fists clenched. “So I hope this is a disaster for him.”

He felt Poe place a kiss on his braids. “That’s not one of our worries now, okay?” Poe paused. “But I hope you’re right,” he finished, his voice a low growl.

Finn reached around Caleb to rub Poe’s back, and Caleb let his head fall on Finn’s shoulder, feeling safe in their arms.


	14. Hey, I'm with you, okay? Always. - Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I realized I left us on a bit of a cliffhanger regarding Charlie's health and the Caleb/Charlie relationship yesterday, so I wanted to rectify that immediately. No one likes a cliffhanger!
> 
> CW: mentions of overdose and dealing with depression. A character with depression uses unflattering terms to talk about his disease. This is not how *I* think of depression or people with depression.

They’d been waiting several hours before Charlie’s father emerged from the doors, a frown on his face. Caleb jolted to his feet, Poe and Finn more slowly behind him, each of them taking one of his hands. 

“Charlie? Is he…” Caleb trailed off, unsure of how he wanted to complete that sentence.

“They pumped his stomach. He’s recovering. It looked like a combination of meds and alcohol. He hasn’t woken up yet, but the doctors say he will soon.” He scrubbed a hand over his face, smoothing out his bushy mustache. “The officers said you went to the party to save him, so thank you for that, Caleb. Do you happen to know if anything happened tonight before he went?”

Caleb held his gaze and shook his head as guilt swamped him. Charlie’s father nodded, and turned back around. “Once he wakes up, when he gets some time with us, I’ll try to come get you, okay?”

“Okay.” Caleb hated how small his voice sounded. He collapsed back into the chair, pulling his hands from his dads’ so he could lean over and bury his face in them. He felt two warm hands on his back, and tried not to cry.  _ Is this all my fault? _

\-----------------

The day before:

Caleb was tapping his foot unconsciously and looking at Poe with a begging look. “Please, Dad? I’ve worked all morning. The market building is ready for tomorrow. Can I _please_ have the afternoon off?”

Poe rolled his eyes and grinned. “Ah, to be sixteen again with the sun shining and school out. Let Chris know you’re leaving, okay, just in case he needs to adjust someone around. And that means we have you all day tomorrow for market day, right?”

Caleb refrained from pumping his fist. “Yes. Yes! Thank you, Dad!” Poe held up a fist and Caleb bumped it.

“Hey, just text us every once and awhile, okay? Let us know if you’re going someplace else?”

“Da-ad.” Caleb hadn’t meant to sound whiny, he really hadn’t, and he winced when it came out that way.

Poe reached out to ruffle his hair, even though it was all caught up neatly in braids. “Gotta say, I miss the ‘fro, buddy.” His hand stilled, and he got serious. “People die in the river every year, Caleb. And you know how your dad worries. All I’m asking is that you give us a little peace of mind. And respect Mother Nature above all else when you’re out there, okay?”

“Yes, Dad,” Caleb grumbled, mostly because it was his duty to do so as a teenager. He turned to start his search for Chris.

“Hey,” Poe called, and Caleb looked back at him. “Say hi to Charlie for me. And your dad would say to tell him he’s due for dinner one of these nights.”

Caleb grinned. “Right, I’ll tell him.”

\----------------

Caleb found Charlie at the batting cages by his house.  _ Screw off season _ , Charlie had once told him.  _ There is no off season. _ He hoped to make it onto an NCAA team - his dream was Oregon State, but he was flexible. Caleb figured if anyone on their high school’s team had a shot, it was Charlie, and now that they were going to be juniors, the scouts would start coming around. Caleb admired his swing as Charlie hit a line drive into the net. His form was damn near perfect, Caleb mused. He should finagle Charlie into some lessons. Baseball wasn’t Caleb’s passion, necessarily. He was a three-sport kid: cross country in the fall (even if Finn hadn’t objected to the violence of football, Caleb didn’t find it stimulating), basketball in the winter, and baseball in the spring. As far as his body was concerned, he probably liked cross country the best - there was just something about running out in the wild, not confined to the track, all alone, and looking to beat yourself to win more than beating anyone else. But Charlie made baseball  _ fun _ in a way that almost nothing else was. He’d met Charlie his freshman year when they’d both gone out for, and made, the JV baseball team, and ended up sitting next to him on one of the long bus drives to an away game. They’d shared music, and chatted, and Caleb had made a new best friend out of the season, even if they’d lost most of their games.

Caleb leaned against the fence and took the simple pleasure of watching Charlie hit a dozen more balls before the machine wound down. The human form, when performing something expertly, was just so appealing, Caleb thought. 

“Hey, dude, you ready to swim?” Caleb called, and Charlie pulled off his helmet, shaking the sweat off of his short blonde hair.

“Oh yeah, I am so ready,” Charlie replied lightly, stripping off his batting gloves and stuffing his gear in his bag. “Who else is coming?”

“I don’t know, I put out a text, but a bunch of people went up to Portland today. And summer league basketball has a tournament in Pendleton,” Caleb answered, as Charlie heaved his bag into the truck bed and swung into the cab.

“Oh well, their loss, right?”

It did end up being only the two of them, as they both stripped down to their swim trunks and waded in. “I can’t believe we have this place to ourselves!” Caleb yelled, just to hear it echo. He dipped all the way in, shivering in pleasure at the contrast between the cool water and the warm sun beating down on the river. Charlie bobbed up beside him and they let themselves just float with the current for a bit, down to where some enterprising teen had tied the rope eons ago. 

“Last one to the rope is as a loser,” Charlie called, shoving Caleb’s head playfully underwater and swimming for shore. Caleb recovered quickly and scrambled after him, catching up enough to pull at Charlie’s foot, but Charlie pulled away and made it to the bank and the rope seconds before Caleb. He swung out, crashing in the water with a tarzan yell as Caleb laughed.

When he emerged, Caleb took the rope and called out, “You better watch out, I’m coming for you,” before swinging out and landing expertly right next to Charlie. He bobbed up, grinning wide, but Charlie was already on him, and they wrestled in the water, laughing like loons. 

A slapping sound nearby made both of them pause, and they turned to see a beaver on the other side of the river, slapping its tail against the water at them angrily. This made them laugh more, but when they quieted, Caleb realized his legs were still wrapped around Charlie’s waist, and below the waist, they were ground rather awkwardly together. Charlie met his eyes, and Caleb registered alarm there.

“Oops,” Caleb breathed out, releasing his legs and swimming away, dipping his head in the water to cool his cheeks down. Charlie didn’t follow for a few minutes, and that was probably for the best, right? 

Caleb had known for awhile that he was bi. Although he didn’t have to hide it from his family, obviously, he wasn’t exactly out at school. He didn’t want to make it weird in the locker room. So yeah, he’d known he was bi since Amelia had started watching Teen Mermaid in middle school and he’d grudgingly watched with her, because she was older and got to decide what to watch, and he’d realized he wasn’t sure exactly who he was attracted to more in the young, extremely good looking cast. In the end, he and Amelia had obsessed together over the male members, reading fanfic and shipping characters, but he’d always had a thing for Princess Aja too.

He’d never considered the idea that he was attracted to his best friend, though. Not until his legs had been locked around Charlie’s waist and their mouths had been inches apart and he’d been looking into the piercing blue of Charlie’s eyes and  _ thank God I’m in cold water right now _ , Caleb thought.

A few minutes later, he heard the sound of Charlie coming closer to him and turned. Charlie’s face was hard to read. “I”m getting cold, I’m going to go lie in the sun for a bit.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Caleb choked out, hoping his face wasn’t betraying every thought he was having. Well the single thought he was having, which was  _ OH MY GOD AM I IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND OH MY GOD AM I- _ He turned away because he didn’t want to watch Charlie’s perfect body get out of the water, then stayed in long enough to be assured that his stupid teenage dick had settled down before joining Charlie in the sun. 

“What’re you up to tonight?” Charlie asked after awhile, and Caleb felt some of the tension drain out of him. If Charlie wanted to pretend everything was normal between them, he could do that. He could  _ totally _ do that.

“Not sure yet. Any ideas?”

“Preston’s thing is tonight. The whole baseball team is invited.” Charlie didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic.

“Coach would kill us if it got busted. And you know how often teenage parties get busted, dude. We wouldn’t even have a team left.”

“Fair point. I think we can make playoffs this year,” Charlie started, and they were off on a discussion of their team’s strengths and weaknesses and how to improve over the next few months before baseball season started again.

His text pinged, and he jolted, remembering he needed to send one to his dads to check in. He did so quickly, then checked what text had come in. “Hey, Georgie got the latest Captain America movie, and she’s inviting us over to watch it. What do you think?”

“Mmmm.” Charlie sounded unenthused. “I think I’ll just stay home tonight.”

Caleb tried not to be disappointed or read anything into it. Sure, he’d basically mounted his best friend in the river, but Charlie was an introvert. Sometimes he needed time away from everything. This was normal. He wasn’t trying to avoid Caleb.  _ Right? _ a tiny voice said in his head.

They lingered around the river for another hour or so. When Caleb dropped Charlie off with a wave at his house, he texted his dads and headed for Georgie’s. Actually, Caleb was kind of glad that Charlie wasn’t coming to Georgie’s. Caleb needed to talk to someone, preferably female, and Georgie was the third-best option to do so. Amelia was his first option, but she was backpacking in Europe with her boyfriend Eli. Then it would have been Meghan, but he knew she was working on a big project right now. She’d take his call gladly, but with Georgie available, he didn’t have to bother her.

Still, he got partway through the movie before he finally opened up. One reason he really liked Georgie was because she’d listen intently to everything he had to say before she would make a comment. He’d told her awhile ago that he was bi, because she was trustworthy. In fact, she and Charlie were the only two who knew at school.

“Do you think he has feelings back for you?” she asked, her legs folded under her, her attention fully on Caleb even as Captain America beat up bad guys and stopped explosions on screen.

Caleb shrugged. “I don’t know. I- he- I thought maybe he was going to lean in for a second, before I broke away. But when I told him about being bi ages ago, he never said anything, except that it was fine and he didn’t see me any differently.”

“Maybe he’s heteroflexible. You know, way less people are totally 100% straight or gay than we tend to assume.” Georgie shrugged delicately. “Maybe he’d be willing to try something, if it was with you?” Caleb groaned. “You’re pretty cute, you know.”

Caleb rolled his eyes but laughed. “Thanks.”

“Hey, what are friends for if not ego boosting? The other thing you could do is just ride it out, do nothing, and see what happens. It’s not like we’re in a rush. We’re still in high school. We have forever.”

Caleb preferred more immediate gratification, but nodded along anyway. They settled back into the movie to watch Captain America kiss her romantic lead.

Toward the end of the movie, Georgie’s phone pinged for a text. She frowned at it, then held it out for Caleb. “Charlie’s in trouble.”

\-------------------

Caleb chewed on his lip as he thought about the incident in the river. Had Charlie been more bothered by it than he’d let on? Was this all his fault?

“I can hear your mind working overtime from here,” Finn murmured quietly to him. Poe had gone to find them something to drink. “If you want to share, I’m open.”

Caleb nodded, once, looking into his dad’s warm brown eyes, the ones that looked like his even though they shared no blood relation. He’d always liked that about Finn. It was the smallest, most tenuous connection, but it had been good enough for Caleb when he was younger and had needed the tether. He blinked, and took a deep breath, and the story came spilling out of him. By the time he ended, he was leaning his head on Finn’s shoulder again, tired beyond belief.

“Your dad would just repeat that we can’t speculate, honey, but I’ll add: you didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t assault him, or make an advance when he told you not to. You played along with his wishes not to talk about it. You did nothing wrong, okay?”

Caleb nodded against his shoulder, but he still felt like his stomach was tearing itself apart with stress.

Poe returned with coffee, and a Dr. Pepper for Caleb. It was late enough now that he could make some calls without waking people up, and he left again to make arrangements for market day.

“Don’t you need to go to the office today?” Caleb’s voice was quiet.

“I’ll call later to have them rearrange my schedule for the morning. Hopefully I’ll be able to drop by the office later today. Don’t worry about it. Hey, I’m with you, okay? Always,” Finn vowed, patting his knee.

They straightened when Charlie’s parents both walked in. His father cleared his throat, and Caleb wondered if he'd been crying. “He’s been awake for about an hour. Kind of out of it, but still lucid. He said he’d like to talk to you.”

Caleb gulped but nodded, standing after an encouraging squeeze from his dad. Charlie’s father led him back to the room, then left him at the door.

Caleb peeked his head in. “Hey, Charlie,” he whispered at the pale figure.

Charlie’s face was tired, and he didn’t quite work up a smile, but Caleb could tell that he was happy to see him. “Hey, Cay.”

Caleb sat in the seat beside the bed, clasping his hands together uselessly.

“Thank you.” Charlie’s voice was rough from the stomach pumping process.

Caleb shook his head. “Man, you know I’d do it again a thousand times.” He looked down at his clenched hands. “Charlie, why-” he cut himself off. He’d told himself he wouldn’t ask, dammit.

“You know my head is messed up. I put a lot of pressure on myself about baseball, and I just wanted to kind of forget about it all, you know? Not permanently,” Charlie said with a rush. “I didn’t mean for  _ this _ to happen. I just...temporarily didn’t want to be me anymore.”

“Did I- um, I’m sorry about what happened yesterday in the river.”

Charlie raised an IV covered hand weakly, and Caleb grabbed it gently. “I don’t want you to think this was your fault.” His blue eyes were staring holes into Caleb’s.

“But?”

“But I have to admit that part of my little...let’s go with freak out, even though my therapist would tell me not to be so hard on myself, part of my little freak out was about trying to figure out how to respond to you. Because you’re a great guy, Caleb, and I love you - as a friend, and I don’t want us to stop being friends. But I can’t be that for you. I don’t feel that. And the last thing I wanted to do was break your heart.” Charlie squeezed his hand weakly and then dropped it.

Caleb found himself staring at the machines monitoring Charlie’s vitals intently. Was this what a broken heart felt like? He pursed his lips. It was hard to tell.

“Hey, man,” Charlie said, and Caleb turned his attention back to him. “My parents are going to take me away for a little while, help me get my head turned around, okay? But you better be online to chat about the All-Star game next week.”

Caleb grinned slowly. “Yeah, of course, buddy,” he said, a parrot of his dad’s nickname for everyone, but he felt a pang as he used it on Charlie.

Charlie’s eyes were starting to dip closed more often than they were staying open, but Caleb stayed, murmuring about the Mariners' abysmal season until Charlie was asleep. He watched his friend -  _ just my friend, nothing more, Caleb _ \- breathe steadily in sleep for a few minutes before he stood to find his family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all aren't mad at me for making Caleb sad. He's only 16 - he's got a bit of life to live before he finds the one for him. We can't all be Amelia and fall almost literally into the laps of the love of our life.


	15. So I found this waterfall... - Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter based on "petrichor" and "basorexia" from a tumblr prompt, as well as the prompt "so I found a waterfall..."  
> Basorexia - An overwhelming desire to kiss.  
> Petrichor - The smell of dry rain on the ground.

Finn had taken up jogging soon after he started his career, because he realized he missed the physical activity of working on the farm. He’d run with Meghan, and now, it was looking like Caleb was going to his second little running buddy. The ten year old hadn’t joined him this morning, though; instead he was sleeping in with the rest of the family back in the tents. Finn hadn’t been able to make himself sleep in and miss this, though. It had rained overnight, just a drizzle, but the wetness clung to the high desert air, bringing Finn the sweet aromas of sage and juniper. It smelled like life, even out here in the desert, and he steadied his pace to enjoy the run through the sagebrush flats.

The tiniest bunny Finn had seen crossed his path, and Finn though of Amelia, and Caleb, and the beautiful Angora that had opened the floodgates of the Smith-Dameron menagerie. Really, once they’d started bringing home animals from strange places, they couldn’t seem to stop, and sometimes Finn wondered if their pets had more control in the household than the humans did. There was really no saying no to Amelia when she got that look in her eye, and hey, at least she wasn’t bringing stray humans home - yet.

It was the first extended vacation Finn had convinced Poe to go on in awhile. Gone a whole week in the summer, and the first day, Finn had spent monitoring Poe’s use of his cell phone. Eventually he’d dragged him away from camp to a more secluded spot to distract him.

Finn smiled. It was just that he loved Poe so much, and his life was so good, he couldn’t believe it sometimes. It took getting away for him to see it more clearly. And he knew Poe saw it too, here, away from the farm, when they could exist as just the Smith-Damerons without the weights of everyday life. When he’d met Finn’s eyes across the fire last night as they supervised s’mores crafting, Finn had been overwhelmed with it, swamped with the knowledge of his love as much as the damp sage was swamping his senses now.

As the path led him back to Poe, his pace quickened, and as he saw his target come into sight, the gorgeous cowboy walking back from the bathroom, he sprinted the last few feet and launched himself into Poe’s arms. His lips crashed down on Poe’s as Poe made a small surprised sound before dropping his bathroom bag into the dirt and wrapping his arms around Finn. Finn swept inside and tasted the mint of Poe’s toothpaste, and one of Poe’s hands slipped lower, along his back, resting just where his spine met the curve of his ass. Finn hummed into the kiss, closing his eyes and letting his other senses take over, the sweet scent of the forest heavy in his lungs, the steady beat of Poe’s heart against his hand, the soft noises their lips made together. 

“Da-ads,” came Caleb’s drawn out, embarrassed whine, and Finn eased back casually.

“Something you need, Caleb?” Finn asked, voice gravelly.

Caleb's pre-teen reply was grumbled below his breath as he shuffled off to the bathroom. Finn grinned at Poe, then leaned down to pick up his bag for him. Poe kept an arm slung around his waist as they walked amiably back to their campsite. 

“Was that for anything special?” Poe’s voice was low and intoxicating.

“Nope. Just love you.” Finn worked his hand into Poe’s back pocket and squeezed Poe’s ass. “So I found this waterfall on my run, and it’s pretty private…” he whispered in his husband’s ear, and watched his grin widen.


	16. Hey, I was going to eat that! - Rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crystal requested a follow up to the last ficlet - more family time and perhaps the implied waterfall smut?
> 
> Well that seemed like a good idea.
> 
> Rated E for sexy times. Sexy, sexy times.

“Dad, pass the marshmallows.” Finn arched a brow at his youngest child, and Caleb rolled his eyes. “Please,” he added.

Meghan’s thigh nudged his on the log as Finn threw the bag of marshmallows at Caleb’s head. Caleb, of course, caught it, and stuck his tongue out at Finn. Finn rolled his own eyes - yes, he was perfectly aware where Caleb had picked up the habit, thank you very much - and turned to his eldest. “He’s not even a teenager yet,” she murmured in his ear. “And you thought I was trouble.”

Finn knew she was teasing herself, but he also knew sometimes teasing could be taken too far. He settled a hand on her knee and squeezed. “Meghan, you know I never thought you were trouble.” She smiled her little smile at him and nodded. He gave her knee one last rub before moving his hand away. “I’m glad you could make it, I know getting away from the firm when you’re new is hard.”

“Well… Don’t tell Dad, but I have to sneak into town tomorrow and find an internet cafe and get some work done.”

“Honey, the first day we were here I basically had to pry his cellphone out of his hands so he wouldn’t call Snap every two minutes to remind him about something on the farm. I got a text from Snap thanking me and offering me his first born child if I could keep Poe distracted.”

Meghan snorted. “You know when the Wexleys go on vacation next month, Snap’s going to do the exact same thing. I feel bad for Chris, really, stuck in the middle of it all. Hey - you want a s’more?” Meghan stood.

“Sure. Reeses, if we have any left. Thanks, honey.”  The smoke from the campfire shifted, and Finn coughed a bit.

“You know what they say,” Poe said as he sat down on the log next to his husband with a still flaming marshmallow. “Smoke follows beauty.”

Finn just smiled and kissed Poe on the cheek. “There’s that Dameron charm.” He watched Poe pull off the crispy outer layer of the marshmallow and eat it, then stick the whole thing back in the fire to get crisp again. “Though I still say the way you eat marshmallows is an abomination.”

Poe shrugged, a lopsided smile on his face, and Finn suddenly remembered their after-the-kids-were-asleep plans and kissed him again, sweeping his tongue across Poe’s lips to taste the sugary sweet of the marshmallow. He glanced around the campfire and saw that they were mostly covered, then leaned in again to deepen the kiss. Poe’s tongue swirled around his as they shared the lingering taste. Finn grinned as he pulled back. “Actually, you’re right, that’s not so bad.” His hand squeezed Poe’s inner thigh. “You better watch out, baby, you’re burning,” Finn purred in his ear, laughing when Poe cursed and pulled the marshmallow out and blew it off.

“You’re being naughty. I’m going on the other side of the fire before you tempt me into something we can’t do for another hour or so,” Poe grumbled, but there was a smile on his face, and before he stood, he kissed Finn’s hand.

“Aww,” Meghan sighed as she sat down, placing s’more supplies around them. She was frowning, and when she talked, her voice was low and depressed. “When am I going to find someone who loves me as much as Dad obviously loves you?”

Finn slipped an arm around her shoulders as she got her marshmallow ready for the fire. “You will. I know it. But even if it doesn’t happen for awhile, Meghan, it doesn’t mean you’re any less of a person. You’re lovely, and talented, and kind to your siblings, which is more than I can say for myself and Caleb some days.”

Meghan laughed. “You’re biased.”

“Damn right I am. That’s my prerogative as your dad. Can I have a skewer?” They settled into making their s’mores and talking about Meghan’s new job and what she was working on.

Amelia surrendered to bed first, chain-yawning all the way there. Caleb promised he’d head there after one more s’more, but when he fell asleep holding a marshmallow over the fire, and it fell into the ashes, Poe gently took his skewer away and lifted him into his arms to put him in bed.

“Hey, I was going to eat that,” Caleb said reflexively before turning and burying his head in Poe’s chest, to the amusement of Meghan and Finn.

Poe came back, handing fresh beers to Meghan and Finn before opening his own. They stayed like that for awhile, nursing beers and chatting idly, enjoying the night. Meghan was staring up at the sky, though the campfire smoke obscured what stars could be seen through the tall Ponderosas that surrounded them. Poe got up to secure the food from bears and other critters, then plopped down onto Finn’s lap with a small chuckle.

“Poe Dameron, are you drunk?” Finn asked as he leaned in to nip at Poe’s neck.

“No, just happy. Okay, maybe I’m a little tipsy.” Poe glanced discreetly at Meghan, then brought Finn’s hand down to where Finn could feel an obvious bulge. “And happy,” Poe repeated breathlessly.

Finn pulled himself away from the delicious saltiness of Poe’s neck. “Go get our supplies?” he whispered, and Poe nodded and stood.

“Hey, Megs, your dad and I are going to go for a walk. Would you mind keeping an eye on the campsite for us?”

Meghan smiled as she continued to watch the sky. “No problem. I might just fall asleep right here.”

Finn stood and stretched, then smiled down at her. “Well, make sure the fire’s out before you do, hon, ‘kay?”

“You got it.”

Poe came back with the very obvious bottle of lube stuck in his back pocket, and Finn choked on a laugh at what Poe had decided was the only supply they needed. He grabbed a pack and stuffed a blanket in it, then picked up a flashlight before taking Poe’s hand and leading him away from the camp.

Despite his earlier tipsiness, Poe’s steps were steady and sure, and they walked in companionable silence, listening to the sounds of night in the forest. Finn’s flashlight illuminated just enough of the forest floor below them, the packed pine needles soft beneath their feet.

They followed the river path out of the campground, heading toward the sound of rushing water. “I know you can’t see it,” Finn murmured when they reached the waterfall. There was no one around, but he kept his voice low in reverence to the nature. “But it really is beautiful. Maybe tomorrow we can bring the kids here for a picnic and swim time.”

Poe’s hand cupped the back of his head as he kissed him then, and Finn melted into Poe’s arms. “I love you. So much. Finn.”

Finn nodded. “I know.” He gave Poe a brief kiss before laying the blanket out on the forest floor and kneeling on it, shutting off the flashlight.

Poe knelt with him, and took his hands. “You’ve had me worked up all day, ever since that kiss.”

“You have me worked up everyday,” Finn said softly, and Poe’s smile flashed in the dark.

Poe eased them down to the blanket, Finn on his back, Poe hovering over him. “And all I’ve wanted to do all day is lay you out and love on you. Can I do that now?”

“Please,” Finn breathed.

Poe started low, working Finn’s shirt up inches at a time as his lips crawled all over Finn’s stomach, lingering whenever Finn’s breath caught in his throat. When he got high enough to suck on one of Finn’s nipples, Finn helped him pull the t-shirt off completely. Finn sank his fingers into Poe’s curls, fisting there when Poe nipped at his neck, making Poe groan in appreciation. Poe’s lips finally met Finn’s, and he sank in, taking everything from Finn with the kiss - body, mind, all Poe’s now. His stubble scratched at Finn’s cheek and sent his nerve endings skittering.

Even as Poe possessed his mouth, his hand crept lower, over Finn’s stomach and down, under the waistband of Finn’s cotton shorts. He found Finn’s cock with an expert twist of his wrist, and the thought quickly passed through Finn’s head that if Poe Dameron was an expert at anything after this many years together, he was an expert at playing Finn’s body like a concert pianist. Poe’s touch now held the comfort of familiarity even as it fired Finn’s blood every time. Finn would never, ever grow tired of Poe’s hand wrapped around his cock, pumping even as his tongue mimicked the gesture in Finn’s mouth. Finn arched into Poe’s touch and moaned, the sound swallowed by Poe.

Poe broke the kiss, stopping to suck briefly at Finn’s neck before he moved down Finn’s body. He pulled Finn’s shorts and underwear down, exposing his cock to the forest air, and Finn kicked them off completely. Finn came up to his elbows, unable to resist watching Poe take his cock in his mouth every time. Poe wrapped a hand around the base to steady it, and lowered his head, his lips stretching to take Finn expertly, always. He looked up through his lashes at Finn, because he knew that slayed Finn whenever he did it. Finn had told him once, the words spilling out as he came, how much his eyes on Finn sent him over, and now Poe used it to his advantage. Not that Finn minded. It was just that he could see the pleasure so clearly in Poe’s eyes when he went down on him, like this was Poe’s happy place. Like it didn’t matter whether they were in their bed on the farm or underneath a canopy of pine, because this was where Poe wanted to be. And that was what was sexier than anything for Finn, not that Poe’s stimulation and suction on his cock weren’t mind-blowing, but that doing so gave Poe such pleasure. That he gave Poe such pleasure, just by existing. It was heady, and mind blowing, and as the power of that feeling slammed into Finn through Poe’s eyes, he arched his hips into Poe’s mouth until Poe’s nose was resting in the curls at the base of his cock, throat working over him. Finn muffled a loud groan by biting down on his fist. He wasn’t going to last long like this, and tapped on Poe’s shoulder three times, one of their signals.

Poe slid slowly up, eyes still on his, releasing Finn’s cock with a string of saliva connecting them until Poe licked his lips. “Yeah?” he asked, voice rough.

Finn gestured to the bottle of lube that had been tossed carelessly on the blanket beside them. “I’m about to explode, and I thought that meant you wanted to do something else,” Finn managed to say around heaves of breath.

Poe smiled wickedly. “Oh, you’re going to fuck me, baby. You’re going to fuck me until you come all down my throat.” Finn’s hips stuttered involuntarily at his words, and Poe’s smile turned even wickeder, somehow, before he took Finn back in his mouth. This time when he flicked his eyes up at Finn, the message was clear: _Fuck me. Use me._

Finn groaned, not hiding it this time as he slid his hand into Poe’s hair and fisted it, Poe’s eyes fluttering a bit in ecstasy. He guided Poe’s head back down slowly at first, just to make sure Poe was ready, before gradually picking up speed with his hips and his hand, fucking Poe’s throat in earnest. Below him, Poe’s eyes had closed now, overwhelmed by his own pleasure, and there were tears there. The first time that had happened, the first time they’d done this, that had freaked Finn out and he’d stopped and wrapped Poe in his arms, asking what he’d done wrong. Now he knew it was part of Poe’s process, part of the release of Poe’s emotions that he couldn’t or wouldn’t do around anyone else. Poe’s fingers were digging into his hips, and he figured he’d carry bruises tomorrow and he just couldn’t find it within himself to care. The biting pain took him that much higher, and he thrust, stilling Poe’s head as he came, watching Poe’s throat work to swallow it all. He released Poe’s hair and collapsed back onto the blanket, breathless, aftershocks still rolling through him.

He felt his cock slip from Poe’s mouth, and Poe crawled up to him, kissing him, sharing the taste of him. As the thundering of his heart settled, he noticed that Poe’s lower half was rutting slowly against his bare thigh and he turned to his side, pushing Poe onto his back. He swept away the tears clinging to Poe’s eyelashes and kissed them tenderly. “My turn,” he whispered, working quickly to undress Poe. His underwear was soaked with precum, his cock red and slick when Finn finally released it. “Poor baby,” Finn murmured as he stroked it and Poe’s hips stuttered. “Such a good, patient man.” Poe’s eyes fluttered closed at the praise as he sighed. Finn reached for the lube and slicked up his fingers. “I think you deserve to be fucked again, hmm?”

At the first touch to Poe’s rim, Poe’s eyes opened wide again, and his hands clutched into the blanket as his hips pushed against Finn’s finger. “Yes, yes please,” he mumbled.

Finn reached for one of Poe’s clutching hands and brought it up to Poe’s own cock. “Stroke yourself for me, you do it so good, baby.” He murmured praise again as Poe followed his instruction, then turned his attention back to Poe’s rim. He worked his finger in easily, stretching the tight ring of muscles enough for two fingers. Above him, Poe squeezed the base of his cock, stopping himself from coming. “Good. That’s right, Poe. You’re going to come when I tell you to.” Poe moaned and bit down on his lip, squeezing again before tentatively beginning to slide his hand over his cock. Below, Finn watched his two fingers pump in and out of Poe. He added more lube, then pushed a third finger in, scissoring them inside Poe’s warm walls, stretching and curling until he heard the sudden intake of breath that meant he’d found Poe’s prostate. Poe shuddered, squeezing at the base again. “You can do it, Poe. You can hold back.”

He stilled his fingers until Poe was able to start on his cock once more. Satisfied that Poe could hold off a little longer, Finn dipped his head, working the tip of his tongue past Poe’s rim as he continued to fuck his fingers inside him. Above him, Poe moaned loudly into the forest, and an owl hooted in annoyance. Finn heard the flap of wings and figured they’d annoyed it by driving its prey away.

“Please, Finn, please, please,” Poe said, holding the base of his cock, face tight with both pleasure and frustration.

Finn moved his mouth away. “Do it, Poe. Come for me, baby.” He resumed his position, thrusting his tongue inside and rolling his fingers over Poe’s prostate as Poe stroked once, twice, before shooting come all over his fist and up his stomach.

“Fuck,” Poe said as he shuddered and collapsed onto the blanket. Finn wiped his fingers on his discarded t-shirt and used it to clean Poe up before laying down beside him and cuddling in. Poe wrapped his arm around Finn’s shoulders as Finn laid his head on Poe’s chest and listened to his heartbeat return to normal. “Thanks for convincing me to take a vacation, baby,” Poe murmured into his hair.

Finn turned his head to place a kiss on Poe’s heart. “It has absolutely been my pleasure.”


	17. "It's not what it looks like..." - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Meghan Got Her Groove Back
> 
> Rated E for female masturbation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riya is pronounced "Ree-uh"

Meghan Ann Smith-Dameron was in love. There was no denying it. It had been the “at first sight” kind, too, she thought dreamily, as she stared down at the baby carrier in the airplane seat beside her. Riya was asleep, finally, after an hour or so being fussy as her ears adjusted to the plane’s pressure changes. Riya was asleep, and Meghan was in love.

\-------------------

Her doctor had confirmed the Indian physician’s diagnosis. With aides, Riya would be able to hear some noise, but they doubted she would ever be able to make out words. Otherwise, she was happily, perfectly healthy, a gorgeous little girl with the sweetest disposition- except, of course, when she wanted something and Meghan couldn’t figure out what. The first time it had happened, mere hours after their return flight, Meghan had panicked and called her dads. By the time they’d gotten there, she’d tried milk and a diaper change, and was gently rocking the screaming baby in her recliner. Finn had given her a break, and Poe had taken her aside and reminded her that Riya was in a totally new environment and that a freakout was expected and that, no, this didn’t mean she was going to be an awful mom.

“You love her already, right?”

“I do,” sniffed Meghan, wiping a tear away from her cheek.

Poe got the tear on her other cheek. “Then you’re already a great mom.” 

They’d walked back into the living room together, and Meghan had taken the wailing Riya from Finn and sat with her to rock again, and eventually, she’d cried herself to sleep on Meghan’s chest. Meghan started crying again, silently, as she looked at her dads’ proud faces.

“Okay,” she whispered, more to Riya than to her dads. “I think we got this.”

\--------------------

Riya was sitting up across the blanket from her, gurgling as Meghan held up a book for her to look at the black and white pictures. She reached out with grabby hands, and Meghan surrendered the book with a laugh. “<Book, please,>” she said and signed, though Riya ignored her hand signals for the most part. It was okay. Repetition was the key. No babies, whatever hearing they had, learned language overnight. 

Beast was roaming around somewhere, hopefully not getting in Poe’s late-summer flowers. They’d kept Family Fridays small since Riya’s adoption, easing her into all of the new faces that her life would eventually encompass. She’d come early, hoping to get some extra Papa Poe time in for Riya, but he’d been called away to deal with something on the farm. It was alright, though. Meghan loved spending time with just her baby girl. 

Riya gurgled and smiled as she lifted the book on top of her head, and Meghan couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Hey Megs.” The low, Texan drawl came from behind her, and despite herself, her heart skipped a beat.

She turned around, smiling as Chris came walking toward them. “<Hey, Chris. Did Dad send you to check up on me?>”

“Wrong sign. You want this,” Chris said with a smile, showing her the correct sign for ‘checking on.’ “But you’re getting better. Do you want me to sign instead of talking so you can practice?”

“<Don’t feel obligated,>” she replied, hoping her blush would be hidden by the fact that they were sitting outside on a ninety degree August day. Lately, Chris… God, it was galling to admit, but she was pretty sure her teenage crush on Chris was coming back. Lord. That Texan drawl and those tight jeans had fueled way too many fantasies given that she had met him when she was 16. Not that Chris would have ever, ever acted on it. He was a gentleman, for one, and it would have been a betrayal to her father, for two. Plus,  _ she’d been 16. _ Except...except now she wasn’t 16. And he wasn’t 24 anymore either. And he was still one tall, long, drink of handsome. Who she’d known for two decades and who basically treated her like a sister.  _ Get your hormones in order, Meghan. _

While all of this was running through her brain, Chris had been interacting with Riya, making her smile as he played peekaboo with the book, and Meghan’s heart flipped in her chest again. She gave herself a moment to school her face and her thoughts, then reached out to touch Chris’ arm to get his attention. He looked back at her, the full force of that handsomely mature face, his laugh lines prominent, hitting her in the gut. “<Did Poe say when he’d be free?>”

“<It was an issue with Whole Foods,>” he replied with a grimace. “<It might be awhile.>” Chris sat back. “<If you wanted to be alone, though, I can go.>”

“<Oh, no, no, please stay.>” Meghan looked away, embarrassed by her eagerness. “<It’s good practice for me.>”

“<I’m always happy to help.>” Chris began telling her about his day, stopping to make sure she was following along, and even Riya looked enraptured by the motions of Chris’s hands even if she didn’t understand what they were saying.

\---------------------------

Riya had gone down easily, falling asleep on the drive back home and not even stirring when Meghan transferred her to her crib. All in all, it had been a good outing; the family members were getting used to using simple sign language with Riya, and she was getting used to pretty much constant exposure to people who wanted to cuddle her close and love on her. 

Meghan sighed as she grabbed the monitor. Riya going down easily meant Meghan had an excess of time to think tonight, and unfortunately, her thoughts kept circling back around to Chris. Long, lanky Chris, with the farmworker’s body and quiet, calm personality. Chris, whose mere proximity had left her more turned on than she’d been in awhile. 

The funniest thing about her sex reassignment surgery had been the fact that she really didn’t have sex that frequently. It was hard to find a partner that met her standards, and even harder for her to get turned on by a real, flesh and blood, in her life person, not just masturbating to some celebrity. But the sound of Chris’s voice could send that warm flush crawling under her skin, spreading through her muscles. She didn’t get wet, obviously, but she kind of liked to use that terminology anyway, it helped her feel authentic and real, in a way that she’d probably over-analyzed with her therapist at this point. And Chris had made her so wet, so hot tonight, and now she didn’t have anything, not even work, to distract her.

She bit her lip and pulled her hair up into a messy twist at the top of her head. She felt the flush on her skin as she slid her simple sundress over her body. God, the thought of Chris had her so turned on that her skin was sensitive? This was not a good sign. Her bra and panties came next; though she’d opted for the SRS, she never went for breast implants. Consequently she could fill a B cup if she tried really hard, but was fully in love with the concept of push up bras. Her nipples were already pebbling, and after she’d laid down on the cool cotton sheets of her bed, that was where her hand strayed first, playing over one nipple and then the other, feeling the flush move over her skin. She rested her free hand on her stomach, appreciating the softness there, the gentle slope of it, the curve of it into her hips that was, she thought, always with a sense of elation, all woman. She sighed, imagining Chris’s rough, callused fingers smoothing over her instead, finding her curves and her cellulite and her wrinkles and still loving her anyway. Those clear, blue eyes connecting with hers as he swept lubed fingers over her clit, stealing her breath. He’d seal their lips together, then sweep a hand through her hair as her hips pumped to chase his fingers. He'd give her exactly what she needed, pay her all that special, careful, quiet attention he gave every task in his life, as if the only thing he wanted in this world was to make her come. His name tumbled out of her lips as she reached for her little vibrator and slicked it up before teasing it through her folds. She swept it around, her hips following, trying to find satisfaction. She smiled at the thought of his face, his body, letting the vibe settle on her clit, sweeping it around and around until her hips were stuttering and everything was coiled tight within her. With a last cry, she bit down on her lip as the orgasm swept through her, shooting pleasure through her stomach and across her chest. With a final rub that sent aftershocks skittering through her system, she sighed, unarching her back and setting the vibe aside for cleaning. She languished there, feeling her skin, watching her chest rise and fall steadily. She drifted off to sleep that way, thoughts of Chris at the forefront, until a hungry Riya woke her an hour later.

\-------------------------

Meghan was absolutely, positively, 100% in love, and it  _ was not _ with Chris Carter. Nosiree. Who needed a man when you had an amazing baby that needed your undivided attention?

She and Riya were slowly and surely figuring out their new lives together, which meant daycare and doctors appointments and changing therapy to her lunch hour. It was the best kind of busy she’d ever been. It seemed like Riya was hitting milestones left and right, and it was all Meghan could do to keep up. The first time she used the hand signal for “done,” Meghan burst into tears at her kitchen table. And she was such a happy baby. She loved everyone, could handle the big farm family functions now, didn’t mind being passed around the table to get kisses and belly tickles. If Meghan’s gaze lingered a little longingly whenever Chris picked Riya up, well, as long as no one noticed Meghan's abject adoration, that was okay, right?

She was spending a quiet October afternoon home with the now nine month old Riya, who was banging blocks on the living room floor, when her doorbell rang. She hauled Riya up on her hip and answered it, and her heart leapt into her throat when she found Chris on the other side. Riya practically launched out of her arms, making grabby hands at Chris as he chuckled. 

“One sec, darlin’, let me put this down.” Chris hastily set a bag down on the floor and swept Riya up and around to her delighted giggles. He landed her on his own hip, and turned to greet Meghan. “Hey, sorry to stop by unannounced, but- are you okay, Megs?”

Meghan shook what she knew was a wistful expression off her face. “<Uh, yeah, of course, sorry. A million things on my mind,>” she finished lamely. “<How can I help you? And come in, of course, where are my manners.>”

Chris lifted up Riya’s shirt and blew a raspberry into her stomach, which sent the girl into hysterics. “Finn sent me with a bag of clothes, and I quote, ‘kisses for his girls.’” Before Meghan knew what he was doing, he’d kissed her cheek, and her mouth had formed a little “o” in surprise. 

Even though her cheeks were heating up, she rubbed her arms. “<It’s freezing out there, can I get you something hot to drink? Coffee? Tea?>”

Chris followed her to the kitchen and set Riya down in front of some of her toys. “<Some coffee would fix me right up, if it’s not a bother.>”

“<No, of course not.>” Meghan tried not to feel subconscious as she moved around the kitchen, feeling his eyes on her form. When she turned around again, he was leaning against the doorjamb, his boots crossed at his ankles, looking absurdly comfortable in her space. “<It’ll be a few minutes,>” she said quietly.

“<Motherhood looks good on you, Meghan,>” he said, looking down at Riya who was driving a small tractor around the kitchen floor. “<I admire you for doing what a lot of people wouldn’t.>”

Meghan blushed at his words. She'd gotten a lot of judgement for taking on a child with special needs as a single mom. It was nice to know Chris was in her corner. “<I don’t think I could be raised by Finn and Poe and not do it,>” she answered honestly. “<But thank you.>” Her voice got husky, and she coughed. Luckily, Chris was distracted by Riya tugging at his pant leg, pulling herself up to a standing position.

“<Well, Riya, that’s quite a trick! When did you start doing that?>” He pulled her up into his arms and she laid her head on his chest, and all of a sudden, Meghan was envious of her daughter. 

“<Just this week. Scared the shit out of me the first time she did it. I left the room to grab her bottle and I came back and she was standing, holding on to the couch.>” 

“Next thing you know, she’ll be walking. And then she’ll be ready to help us down at the farm, won’t you, Riya?”

“<Man, the dads will love that.>”

“I don’t think I’ve seen two people happier to be grandpas.”

Riya yawned into his shoulder, and Meghan moved to take her from him. “<Time for nap, Riya,>” she signed, trying to get Riya used to seeing her name. She turned to look at Chris. “I think the coffee’s ready. Please help yourself, I’ll only be a minute.”

She set Riya down in her crib, put a binkie in, and brushed her hand through Riya’s dark waves once before leaving her. 

When she came back to the kitchen, Chris offered her a mug. “Light and sweet, right?”

She took the proffered mug. “<Thanks for remembering.>” She gestured to the kitchen table, and they sat down, chatting about the farm and the family over their steaming mugs.

When Chris finally made moves to leave, Meghan stood and they both reached for the mugs to put them away, their fingers brushing. Chris's finger ran along hers, and their eyes met, and lingered. Meghan found that all of a sudden, her lungs had just decided to quit working as she stared into those warm blue eyes.

“Do you ever wonder if you’re still single because the person you’ve been looking for has been right in front of your face for years?” 

In the face of his statement, she forgot all of her signing. “Chris,” she said on an exhale.

“I do,” he said, moving closer to her, seeking her permission to be touched. She nodded her assent, and he cupped her cheek. “I wonder, and then I remember, she’s the goddamned boss’s daughter, and forbidden territory.”

“So are you making a move or not?” Meghan asked, a little petulant. She was thirty-seven, after all. Little things like “asking her dads’ permission” had fallen by the wayside a long time ago.

He just smiled at her. “There’s my Meghan. Always with the mouth.” His eyes dropped to her lips, and then his mouth was on hers, and she was leaning into him, clinging at his shirt. His body was so warm, and she curled into it, enjoying the taste of their shared coffee on his tongue, enjoying the fact that he was standing there in her kitchen, enjoying  _ him. _ Then he was boosting her up, setting her on the counter so they were of a height, which gave her better access to run her fingers through his short blonde hair as his tongue swept alongside hers. She realized that this was it, this was the moment, this was  _ the kiss _ she’d been waiting for her entire life. This was the kiss that made everything before seem pale by comparison. 

She wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him closer to the apex of her thighs, and his hands went roaming, working under her shirt to feel her skin. She thought she might just burn the whole house down with how hot she was, how hot he was making her. His lips left her mouth, traveled over her jaw, down her neck, and she moaned right into his ear. He paused, drawing back, both of them breathing hard. He gripped the counter with white knuckles and pushed himself back. 

“<Tell me I didn’t just cross a line.>”HIs voice was rough, ragged.  


“<You didn’t.>”

“<Tell me you’re okay with this.>”

She hopped down from the counter and took his hand. “<I’m okay.>”

“<And what will Poe say? Finn?>”

She huffed and rolled her eyes. “<Listen, if you’d made a move when we first met, sure, that would have been inappropriate.>”

Chris choked on a cough. “<I want to be clear that I did  _ not _ think about you like this when you were sixteen.>”

“<See? Then, we’re golden.>” She smiled at him, and he seemed slightly less nervous. She brushed a hand down his arm. “<Besides, I  _ did _ think about you like that when I was sixteen.>” When he choked again, she laughed. “<But thanks for never reacting to my silly teenage crush.>”

“<I had no idea, I swear.>”

“<Then we have nothing to worry about.>”

He still looked uncomfortable, and she bit her lip. His eyes softened, and he brought up a thumb to run over her lip so she’d release it. “<Meghan, want to get dinner sometime?>” 

“<Absolutely.>”

“<And we’re telling your dads…>”

“<Whenever you’re comfortable. But as Mary once told me, if I’m hiding a relationship from the people that matter most to me, that probably means I don’t really want the guy to become one of the people that matters most to me.>” She ran a hand over his rough cheek. “<And that’s not the category you fall in, Chris.>”

He cupped her face and leaned down for the kiss, just a light brushing of their lips. She melted into his embrace, and for awhile, they just rocked in the kitchen as Riya slept and the rain came down outside. 

In the end, they decided to give the relationship a few weeks to settle before telling the family. 

\---------------------

It was a blissful few weeks, with Chris coming to visit them on Saturdays. They’d go out to lunch and to OMSI, or the Children’s Museum, or, once, the one time it wasn’t too rainy or cold, just to their neighborhood park. Meghan hadn’t found a reliable babysitter yet, so their dinner plans had been put on hold. This meant they were left to a few fumbling kisses while Riya was down for a nap, or as Chris left, which resulted in Meghan’s vibrator getting quite the workout. They’d talked, just cursorily, about how Meghan’s SRS worked, and while Meghan had had sex with her crafted vagina, she could tell Chris was nervous about hurting her, even though she insisted that that’s what her exercises were for.

Amelia’s baby shower brought Meghan and Riya back to the farm for the first time since she’d been seeing Chris, and as soon as she was sure Riya was secure being passed around the room full of women, she’d snuck off to the farm to find him. He was sorting tools in the barn, winter work, and she flicked the lights off and on to announce her presence. He looked up to see who needed him, and she had the pleasure of seeing his face transform at the sight of her.  _ Just like how Poe looks at Finn _ . She sighed, and smiled, and before she knew it she was running into his outstretched arms and swinging in his embrace, even though they’d seen each other a few days before. 

“Megs,” he drawled, when they came up for air, “I-I think- I lo-”

There was a clattering and Meghan spun around, Chris a second after her, reacting to her reaction. Poe stood over a dropped rake, the look on his face inscrutable.

“It’s not what it looks like…” Chris said, even as his hands were still squeezed into Meghan’s ass.

She rolled her eyes. “<It’s  _ exactly _ what it looks like, and you’re not allowed to be upset,>” she said archly at her father.

He raised a brow back at her. “<I’m not upset, I’m just shocked.>”

“<Sir, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you. That’s my fault.>”

Poe narrowed his eyes. “<We’ll come back to that point some other time, Chris. Maybe we can take a long ride tomorrow.>” Chris nodded swiftly, and Poe turned to Meghan. “<You don’t need my approval, honey, but I’m damn glad to give it. I like this one way better than any of your others.>”

Meghan smiled. “<I love you, Dad.>”

“<So, what do I have to do to get more Riya time? Give Chris more time off? Is there any chance you could go into that den of estrogen and steal her away for me today?>” Poe picked up the rake and put it away, and let out a soft ‘oof’ when Meghan squeezed him tight in an embrace. 

“I know I don’t need your approval, but I’m glad I have it anyway,” Meghan murmured into his chest. She felt Poe press a kiss into her hair.

“I love you, honey.” He released her, and she took Chris by the hand. “<Family dinner soon, yeah?>”

“<Of course,>” Meghan replied, and Chris nodded. She turned to place a kiss on Chris’s cheek. “<Okay, back to the shower for me, I’ve already been away too long. Come by when we’re done?>” She turned to leave.

Chris pulled her back, and brushed his lips over hers. “<I’ll see you,>” he replied, his eyes dark with promise.

She blushed and waved at both of them, hurrying back to the house. When she slipped back into the living room, Riya spotted her immediately and squealed in delight. She scooped her daughter out of Elisa’s arms and swung her up high.

Yes, Meghan Ann Smith-Dameron was in love. And it was about damn time.


	18. I can’t believe you talked me into this. - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I recently surpassed 300 followers on tumblr, and asked what people wanted me to write for them. Sexy times for my Organa’s Organics FinnPoe got the most votes! It’s a literal and figurative quickie. ;)
> 
> NSFW. Takes place on their first anniversary.

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“I don’t think it was me, I think it was your dick,” Poe said, laughing even as he slammed Finn up against the bathroom’s thankfully-locked door and nibbled at his ear lobe.

“My fucking dick is going to get us kicked out of here,” Finn said on a gasp when Poe’s hand slipped down to squeeze the dick in question.

Finn had gotten home from UC Davis two days ago. After months of Skype sex, Poe had practically dragged him to bed the first chance he got. Then Finn had returned the favor this morning during lunch break. They’d dressed up fancily for their first anniversary dinner tonight, thinking they could make it through the meal without jumping each other. Oh, how wrong they’d been. They had been teasing each other all night. Poe had hastily thrown some bills on the table and took Finn’s hand, walking out - almost. At the exit, he’d veered and led Finn to the bathroom.

The locking bathroom.

“Have I told you lately how much I love your fucking dick?” He rubbed over Finn’s bulge, and Finn closed his eyes against the lovely sensation.

“I think you yelled that at me last night. Repeatedly.”

“Oh, right.” Poe’s lips crawled up his neck and settled on his lips. The kiss was desperate and needy, their breath already coming fast.

“The feeling is mutual, you know,” Finn said when he had a chance, cupping Poe’s hard cock through his pants.

“God, you make me feel like a fucking teenager again, desperate for any little thing, hard at the drop of a hat.”

“Sorry?” Finn was working on Poe’s pants, but the zipper was being stubborn.

“No, this is way better than being a teenager, because now I actually have someone besides my own hand to help me with my little erection problem.”

“I wouldn’t call it a ‘little’ problem.”

Poe grinned as his eye’s met Finn’s. “Aw, baby, for that, you’re getting a reward.”  Poe dropped to his knees, and Finn’s issues with Poe’s zipper became moot. Poe was nosing along Finn’s cock through his briefs, tongue darting out to lick at his lips, lick at the fabric as Finn’s head thumped against the door.

“This is going to be fast,” Poe warned. And with that, he had Finn’s cock free and in his mouth before Finn could protest, not that he wanted to. Poe worked him all the way down, and Finn wished he could never leave the velvety, moist warmth of Poe’s throat. Poe bobbed, and really, he was such a good little cocksucker, and Finn really wanted to tell him that, but he was afraid if he opened his mouth, all that would come out were moans. Moans that would definitely get them kicked out.

Poe took Finn’s hand and led it to his head, and Finn scrunched into the curls that Poe had slicked back for the occasion. Poe would be coming out of this looking a little more disheveled that he had going in - but at least Leia had already taken their anniversary picture. Finn thrust forward into Poe’s warmth, using his mouth the way Poe wanted him to. Poe was doing his best to be quiet, but every few thrusts a little sound would escape his throat and vibrate around Finn’s cock and ratchet Finn one step closer to oblivion.

Poe’s hand left his knee and traveled up, reaching his balls and gently massaging them, making Finn slam his dick harder into Poe’s mouth. His fingers traced along Finn’s perineum, before he thrust one finger up to the knuckle into Finn’s hole. Finn couldn’t hold it back this time, and brought up his arm to moan into the fabric, muffling it somewhat. It all overwhelmed him - Poe’s deep throat skills, the finger, the fact that they were doing this in a bathroom - a fucking public bathroom. Finn gripped Poe’s hair harder and pulled him back partially, filling his mouth with cum as he saw stars. Poe looked up at him, all puppy dog eyes and mussed curls and just the littlest bit of Finn’s cum dripping out of the side of his mouth, and Finn couldn’t resist pulling Poe up to lick at the cum, then sweep his tongue inside and share the taste.

Poe was rutting against his thigh, So Finn reached for a paper towel. He finally, _finally_ worked Poe’s zipper down and got his hand around that cock, jerking it fast and hard while Poe buried his head in Finn’s neck. When he began to come, Finn caught it in the towel and stroked him through it, until Poe’s hips were shying away, taking his over-sensitive dick with him.

For two heartbeats, they just stared at each other, disheveled, pants undone, Finn’s hand full of cum and used paper towel, then they broke into action. In less than a minute, they were exiting the bathroom and walking out of the restaurant, refusing to meet the eyes of the hostess. As soon they’d rounded the corner, Finn doubled over in laughter, and Poe joined him, garnering several cautious looks from passersby.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Finn gasped between laughs.

Poe wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. “I can because I’ve literally been thinking about that all day.”

“I gave you a blow job at noon!” Finn exclaimed, then burst into another set of giggles as a couple gave them wide berth on the sidewalk. “Oops.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking all day about returning the favor.”

“God, I fucking love you.” Wiping away tears from the laughing fit, Finn held out one of his hands, and he and Poe started walking down the street again.

“I missed you,” Poe said simply, breaking Finn’s heart a little as he thought about having to leave Poe again at the end of the summer. Poe must have seen the look on his face, because he squeezed Finn’s hand and continued, “But I’m proud of you and what you’re doing, Finn. So fucking proud, and that blows the missing you part out of the water.”

They continued their stroll down the street, and through mutual unspoken agreement, neither of them ever suggested going to that restaurant again.


	19. You did all of this for me? - Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn gets corralled into coaching Caleb's soccer team.
> 
> (Seriously this is like 2k of domestic soccer fluff)

“Please, papi,” Caleb said, eyes big with just - just - a hint of tears, as he sat on Finn’s knee.

“Please, papi,” Poe repeated in the same pleading voice his son had used, patting Finn’s free knee with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“But I don’t know how to play soccer, I just watch _you_ play,” Finn tried to reason, even though he knew it was pointless in the face of Caleb’s meme-worthy expression.

“I can teach you, papi!” Caleb broke into a grin and Finn felt himself slipping.

“I can give you some drills to follow, babe. They’re 5, it’ll be a piece of cake.”

Finn chewed his lip. Poe had been coaching Amelia’s AYSO team for three years now. It really was only fair that Finn step up and agree to pitch in. But- “There are seriously no other parents in Caleb’s class that are willing?”

Poe shrugged. “That’s what the registration lady said. There’s enough for a team, but no coach. And no coach, no team. There’s not a lot of glory in coaching kindergarten soccer.”

“ _Paaapiiiiii,_ ” Caleb begged, eyes somehow the size of dinner plates in his head.

“Okay,” Finn said, and felt his anxiety kick up a little. “Okay, I’ll-” His confirmation was cut off by Caleb launching off of his knee and making a loop of the living room, kitchen, and hallway, screaming his head off.

“Jesus Christ,” Finn murmured, and Poe laughed. Finn punched him lightly on the thigh.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Poe said, only sounding mildly contrite, but then leaned in to brush his lips across Finn’s, and Finn was mollified. Poe’s hand found his and squeezed. “Amelia and I can show you some drills tomorrow.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Finn sighed, standing. He easily caught Caleb on his next round and held the boy upside down. “What do you think you’re doing, Cay-Cay?” He swung Caleb around to face Poe as Caleb screamed all the more.

“What’s this? An offering for the tickle monster?” Caleb dissolved into giggles as Poe tickled his exposed stomach until they all collapsed into the couch, a happy, breathless mess.

\---------------------------

Finn worked through a breath calming exercise as he stood in the kitchen. He checked the time on the oven and saw that they needed to go soon. He turned around, about to call out for Caleb, when he caught Poe taking him in, a look of blatant attraction on his face.

“What? You’ve seen me in workout gear before. Caleb! Let’s get a move on!”

“I’ve seen you in your running pants. This, though. Are those my soccer shorts?” Poe crowded in close, using his hands to urge him to spin all the way around.

Finn felt silly. “I wanted to, uh, look the part,” he admitted sheepishly.

Poe ran his hands down Finn’s back and landed on his ass, squeezing in. “I have to tell you, it’s really working for me. You fill these out better than I do.”

“Shut up,” Finn replied, blushing as Poe leaned in for a kiss.

Poe fingered the whistle around his neck. “This look is doing things to me. Want to bring the whistle to bed later and order me around, coach?”

“You are _the worst_.”

“Just trying to distract you, babe.” Poe captured Finn’s lower lip in his teeth quickly, just a little love nibble. “You’re going to be amazing today. You’ll do great, the kids will love you. Remember the most important part.”

Finn nodded, eyes serious. “Make sure the kids have fun.”

They were interrupted by the clomping of Caleb’s new soccer cleats. He’d been so proud to explain to the woman at Foot Locker that he got new shoes because now he was big enough to play in the real games, just like his sister and daddy. Poe knelt to make sure his shin guards were strapped on properly, then tied up his shoes and planted a kiss on his forehead.

“Thanks, Daddy.” He returned the kiss to Poe’s cheek with a smack of lips.  “Papi, let’s go!” he yelled as he took Finn’s hand and pulled him to the mud room.

“Love you, babe!” Finn heard Poe call after them.

Practice was being held at Caleb’s elementary school. He upended the bag of small soccer balls and asked Caleb if he could put them in a line for him. As Caleb set to his task, Finn greeted the kids as they came in, and introduced himself to the parents. He got nervous when he saw several moms pull out folding chairs and set up on the side of the field; he hadn’t realized he was going to have to do this with an audience. The key going in was having a healthy respect for the amount of havoc a pack of eight kindergarteners could create, right? Just take Caleb and times his energy by eight. If he knew that going in, he wouldn’t be surprised…

Well, surprise wasn’t quite the right word for it, anyway. More like shell shocked. He managed to keep the pack entertained for the half-hour, kicking balls to each other and getting in goal practice. Only three kids cried, and two of those were because they’d collided into each other while running. One of the kids in the collision got a bloody nose, which fascinated everyone for a good five minutes. The third kid, Georgie, Finn found crying by a tree because she didn’t know anyone on the team. Finn convinced her to take his hand and come back to the team, where she finally consented to do the passing drill with Caleb, because Finn could vouch for him. As soon as the passing drill was done, she was right back at his side, hand reaching up for his.

No one died, the moms mostly gossiped to themselves over on the sidelines, and Finn felt like he’d been run over by a semi. So, a win.

If Finn regretted his decision during the week between practices, all he had to do was watch Amelia and Caleb kicking the ball in the backyard and he’d steel himself for another round.

He’d held the first practice at a special time because he wanted to get to know the kids, but AYSO had suggested that coaches for the youngest kids hold their practices the half-hour before their half-hour games. The paperwork Finn had been given sardonically stated the reason as, “So the kids don’t have to remember what you taught them four days before, although sometimes getting them to remember what you taught them the half hour before is just as hard.” So, it was with some trepidation that he met his team for the second time ever, on the soccer field, the other team already there, both sets of kids glancing warily at each other. Finn paired Georgie up with Caleb again, because he knew Caleb would be nice, and set about running the kids through their drills.  Poe and Amelia were off getting ready for her game; both Poe and Finn were broken up about having to miss one of their kids’ games. When Poe was young, Shara and Kes had attempted to make as many as possible, but it had been hard as a migrant worker, and Finn had never even expected his parents to show up for more than conferences at the military school, so it was important for both Finn and Poe to be _there_ for their kids.

More and more parents began to accumulate on the sidelines for the game. Finn nodded at the moms he recognized now, and they smiled back.

As practice was ending, Finn found Georgie tugging at his shorts and knelt so he could hear her.

“Do I hafta play, Coach Finn?” Her lower lip was perilously close to jutting out in a pout.

“You don’t want to play the actual game?” Georgie looked over her shoulder, to a man that was pacing the sideline, talking sternly into his cellphone. She turned back and shook her head.

“What if I’m bad?”

Finn took her in, this little five year old with brown curls and doe eyes and a skinned knee, the bright green of the soccer uniform popping against her dark skin. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t tell her ‘you won’t be bad.’ In his experience, that was just about as much reassurance as someone trying to bring him out of a panic attack by telling him he’d be fine. “You want to just watch for a bit?” he offered instead, and she nodded.

They were only playing 6 on a side anyway, so Georgie and another boy stood with Finn on the sidelines as the teams lined up and the ref prepared to blow her whistle.

If Finn had thought practice was chaotic, that was nothing compared to what happened when the whistle blew. Immediately, all sense of formation was lost on either side as the teams formed a 12 person clump around the ball. The clump moved up and down the field. Occasionally the ball would get kicked out of the clump, and they’d have to reform around it. Sometimes, the ball would happen to cross the goal line on one side or the other, and the whole thing would start over. Finn ran a hand over his face and glanced nervously at the line of parents, but they were all chatting happily. Okay, maybe this was normal.

As halftime hit and the kids were all getting their water and orange slices, the man Finn presumed was Georgie’s father tapped him angrily on the shoulder. “How come you aren’t playing my kid?”

Finn glanced over at Georgie, who was shyly accepting an orange slice from a mom. “She’ll let me know when she wants in,” Finn said, quiet but firm.

“You’re letting a 5 year old dictate decisions on your team? That’s a stupid ass-”

“Watch your mouth,” Finn hissed, standing up straighter, though the man had at least five inches on him.

“Everything okay here?” the teenage ref asked hesitantly, and Georgie’s father glared at him and stalked away.

“Yeah, we’re good. Is it always like this?”

“What, parents caring too much about how many minutes their kids get? Yes,” the ref said, bitterness clear in her voice.

“No, I meant the clump.”

“Oh, yeah. I mean, every game I’ve ever reffed anyway. Makes for easy reffing though!” she said brightly, blowing her whistle to get the kids back on the field.

Georgie never told Finn she wanted to play, and Finn figured it was okay to let her be for this first game. He’d start pushing her for baby steps next week. Still, he could feel her father’s death glare staring him down as the team picked everything up and packed out.

Caleb was bouncing off the walls, giving Amelia and Poe a play-by-play that _had_ to be largely fictitious, because Finn certainly didn’t remember any of the ‘passing’ that he was referencing.

Later, when Caleb and Amelia were eating their post-game snack, Poe and Finn were working on food prep for the week. “You know, I know this is wrong of me, but I just really hate the fact that you and I had to go to weeks of parenting classes and here’s a-holes like this that just get to be dads by genetics? Georgie is like, the sweetest little kid you’ll ever meet, Poe. She deserves better.” Finn’s tirade fueled his vegetable chopping.

Poe leaned on the counter beside him, toweling off fresh washed tomatoes. “Do you think he’s being abusive?”

“No,” Finn admitted. “Just an asshole.”

When Finn paused in his chopping, Poe leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek. “Well, unfortunately, we both know how full the world is of assholes.”

“Daddy, you’re not supposed to say that word,” Amelia called primly from the dining area.

“How did _I_ get caught and you didn’t?” Poe asked below his breath.

“Because I know how to keep quiet,” Finn said, almost keeping a straight face.

“No, you effing don’t. You are the loudest-”

“Daddy, can we go play outside?” Amelia asked from the doorway.

Poe coughed. “Yeah, nugget, go ahead. Don’t go to the farm without asking, ‘kay?”

“‘Kay!” Amelia and Caleb tore through the kitchen and out the side door.

Finn burst into laughter, and Poe leaned into him, nibbling at his earlobe.

\-------------------------

Finn’s Saturdays on the soccer field settled into a pattern. Try to maintain some semblance of control over the drills, totally accept that he had no control over their actions in the game, convince Georgie into playing for a little bit to please her father Hank, and get flak from Hank for not playing Georgie enough. He wondered if Hank was watching the same games as him. It mattered so little who was even on the field, sometimes Finn was tempted to just put the whole team out at once.

“You want me to beat this guy up for you?” Poe asked one Saturday night as Finn ranted in bed.

“I’m perfectly capable of beating him up for myself,” Finn grumbled.

Poe set aside his book, pulled off the little half-glasses he’d finally conceded to a month before. He ran his hand down Finn’s pajama-covered chest, resting it finally on his stomach, and snuggled into Finn’s side. “I know you are. Doesn’t stop El Oso from get protective.”

Finn laughed, just like he knew Poe was trying to get him to do. “Oh, so you’re calling yourself that now, huh?”

“Did I tell you what my team is calling Amelia? _La Osezna_. The cub.”

“Awww,” Finn said, rubbing Poe’s shoulders. “So if you’re the bear and the cub, what are Caleb and I?”

“I can’t just give you a name, you have to earn it. And while you’re doing that, I’ll figure out what the Spanish is for Tasmanian Devil so we can start calling Caleb that.”

Finn snorted. “You and Caleb, I swear.”

Poe heaved a heavy sigh. “I’m just so old, now, and he’s so energetic.”

“Yup, you’re _so_ old. Older than the trees and the rocks. Hey!” Finn laughed as Poe lifted up his shirt and blew a raspberry on his stomach. “I’m _not_ Caleb, that doesn’t work on me.”

“How about this?” Poe responded with a grin, and his lips slid lower.

\----------------------------

It was the last game of the season. It was raining. Pouring, really. The field was basically a mud pit. The kids had never looked happier, while all the parents grimaced and thought of their minivan carpeting. The ball moved about three inches every time it was kicked, which meant the clump moved around even slower than normal.

Through chance, Georgie found herself with the ball at her feet, and Finn whispered, “C’mon Georgie, you can do it.”

She raised her foot to kick. From the sideline, Hank yelled, “Go for the goal, Georgie!” but Georgie was already passing it - or attempting to - off to Caleb, who gave the ball a huge kick, propelling it out of the clump by about five feet, and landing on his butt in the process. Any spare thought Finn had for his son’s pain went away when Caleb broke into a grin and Georgie held out her hand for him.

Finn raised his fists in the air and screamed like he was at a sporting event he’d paid for. “You actually passed! I can’t believe it! You passed! Yes! Nice work!”

Beside him, Hank was uncharacteristically quiet. He felt Hank’s eyes on him and did his best to ignore the difficult man.

The game ended on a tie, the clump never managing to get the ball close enough to either goal to make it in. The way the kids were grinning, though, it was like they’d just won the World Cup. Finn cleaned up Caleb as best he could, gathered Amelia and Poe, and headed for the pizza party the moms had graciously organized since Finn had volunteered to coach.

When they got to the pizza parlor, the first thing Finn saw was a huge banner that read “Thank you, Coach Finn!” Finn stopped in his tracks. Poe wrapped an arm around his waist and got him walking again.

As Finn walked in, the whole team, including the parents - including Hank - cheered. “You did all of this for me?” One of his little girls, Sharon, handed him a scrap book. Inside, he found pictures of everyone, and a handwritten note (written very obviously by an adult) from each kid saying what their favorite thing about Coach Finn was. “ _I like his smile.” “He’s really nice.”  “He doesn’t yell at us when we don’t pass the ball.”_ Finn bit down on his lip, determined not to cry in front of everyone.

He looked up at all the smiling and expectant faces. “Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I love this.”

Caleb tugged on his shorts. “Does that mean you’ll coach us next year, Papi?” The room laughed.

“Why not?” Finn said, a little watery, as Poe rubbed his back. “Now, let’s dig into that pizza!” This was greeted with a chorus of “We love you, Coach Finn!” before the room erupted into chaos.

“Are you Finn’s husband? Hi, I’m Hank.” He offered his hand to Poe, and Finn felt Poe tense before he shook it politely and murmured his name. Hank turned to Finn. “Listen, Finn. I’ve been a jerk. I’m sorry.”

Finn widened his eyes. “I accept your apology,” he said simply.

“I- look, it’s not an excuse, but Georgie’s mom and I are going through a divorce, and we had to move, and I was worried that she wasn’t making any friends when you wouldn’t play her. I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about it, obviously she’s doing okay.” He nodded to where Georgie and Caleb were eating pizza together. “Thank you.”

Finn let his lips tip up in a smile. “You’re welcome. You know, if Georgie ever wants to come over and play on the farm with Caleb, we’d love to have her over.”

Hank looked grateful - whether it was because Finn was letting him off the hook or because it seemed his daughter had made a friend, Finn wasn’t sure. But he nodded, and they exchanged contact information.

“Well, Coach,” Poe started as they sat down with their pizza, “What do you think?”

“I think...I’m ready to take over Amelia’s team,” Finn responded with a nod. Poe’s mouth gaped for about two seconds before Finn laughed and patted his knee. "Like I'd ever get between the bear and his cub." Finn was laughing when Poe's mouth caught his.  



	20. I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified. Rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has a secret, and he really doesn't want to keep it anymore.
> 
> This takes place 3 years after Meghan and Chris get together. Amelia and Eli have a son named Alex (so you know who I mean when you see the next line, which is current ages).
> 
> Year 29, May: (Amelia/31, Eli/33, Caleb/27, Meghan/40, Chris/47, Finn/53, Poe/62, Riya/3, Alex/2.5)

**Malik:** Our place at noon? I have stuff for a picnic. ;)

**Caleb:** I’ve got a family thing. Barbeque. I haven’t seen everyone in awhile because of track. :/

**Malik:** Oh, right. That’s fine!

Caleb imagined Malik’s brain, deciding to put that exclamation point on there as proof that he was totally, 100%, a-okay with Caleb going to see his family without his boyfriend of one year. Malik was good at lying to himself. Malik was good at lying to everyone, Caleb thought, not unkindly. When you grew up black in the extreme whiteness of Oregon, you learned to deal with it. When you were a nerd to boot, well, the bullying wasn’t pretty. It didn’t surprise Caleb that Malik was petrified of coming out on top of everything else that made him different. No, it didn’t surprise Caleb, but sometimes, the lying and the hiding tired him out. Especially lying to his family. A lie of omission, maybe, as no one had actually asked him recently if he was seeing anyone, but still, it was a lie, and the longer it went on, the worse it sat with Caleb.

**Caleb:**  You could come. I could introduce you as my colleague and friend.

Malik took a long time to reply. Finally:

**Malik:** You should have time alone with your family. 

**Caleb:**  They’d like you. Even if we told.

Caleb worried that he’d pushed Malik too far when he didn’t answer for another fifteen minutes.

**Malik:** I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.

The text blinked at Caleb as his heart thundered in his chest. He reread once, then again. The words he’d been dying to hear from Malik, prefaced by doubt and accompanied with fear.  _ Fuck. _ He thumbed off a quick reply.

**Caleb:**  I’ll duck out of the family thing early. Meet me at our place, 2pm?

**Caleb:**  Everything’s going to be okay

He hoped it was enough to keep Malik’s anxiety at bay. He saw the little message indicating his texts had been read.

**Malik:** I’ll see you at 2.

Caleb blew out a breath and looked out the car window to his sister’s house. All he could think about was Malik and the secret they’d been keeping for a year. And now he’d have to go in, put on a happy face, and pretend he was single and ecstatic about it. He set his jaw. He could do this. He could totally get through this day.

\------------

Eli’s face brightened when he swung open the door to find Caleb there. “Caleb, man, nice to see you. Ames wasn’t sure if you could make it or not.” The shorter, older man pulled him into the double-tap bro hug.

“Yeah, track, you know how it is in the spring. But we just got done with districts yesterday, so I’ve got a couple of days before I have to think about it again.” 

“How’re your prospects?” Eli walked them through the entranceway, toward the noise of toddlers playing.

“Oh, we’ve got a couple of relay teams that I think stand a chance to place. Overall-”

“Unca Cay!” Caleb was tackled by the tiny ball of energy that only worked in “run” mode that was his two and a half year old nephew, Alexander David.

“Alex! How’s my little man?” Caleb swung the boy up and around to the toddler’s delighted giggles. At his knee, he felt a tug, and there was Riya, signalling that she wanted a turn too. “<Hi, little lady,>” he signed, setting Alex down and picking her up. 

She gave her half-silent little laugh, then leaned in to smack a wet and for some reason sticky kiss on Caleb’s cheek. He set her down, and immediately the two were off together. They weren’t quite playing together yet, more like playing individually, side-by-side, but they were still two of his favorite things in the world. Caleb felt twin pangs of happiness and jealousy, watching the kids playing, seeing Meghan leaning against Chris on the couch.

“<Hey guys.>” 

“Caleb!” Amelia tackled him from behind, her face burying somewhere along his back. “Baby bro,” she said, the joke old but endearing, considering she barely cleared his shoulder. “<I’m so glad you could make it.>”

Meghan stood and offered him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “<You want something to drink?>”

“<Water’d be great, but I can get it.>”

“<Of course you want water,>” she said with a smile, patting him on the cheek. “<I need a refill anyway, Unca Cay, so I’ve got you.>”

“<She doesn’t mean you’re boring. But, you know, Caleb, sometimes you’re boring.>” Amelia elbowed him in the ribs with her joke. Caleb’s healthy habits were always a source of loving ribbing in the Smith-Dameron family. 

Caleb smiled good naturedly as he took the chair nearest to Chris and crossed his legs. “<Are the dads not coming?>” 

“When we left, they said they were running errands first, fixin’ to be here ‘round noon,” Chris replied, holding out his hand to shake Caleb’s in greeting. 

Caleb relaxed into the chair physically, but had to work to get his mind to stop running, stop cycling through lesson plans for Monday, and sub plans for when he was gone for State, and stop rereading that text in his head. _ I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.  _ Caleb made a fist as the talk circled around him. Malik had plenty of reason to be terrified, he could understand that logically. But it- God, he’d wanted the words to be grand, to be declared to him, proclaimed. This felt...wrong. Like Caleb wasn’t good enough for the declaration.

Meghan brought him a glass of water, stopping on the way to break up the fight that had broken out between Riya and Alex over a particular toy. She curled into Chris again, and the chat moved to their impending wedding, taking place on the farm in August. He was happy for them, he really was, but not for the first time did he feel bitter over having a closeted relationship while his siblings enjoyed their lives. It was so petty, and the thought always made Caleb want to kick his own ass, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Finn and Poe didn’t bother knocking, and Alex was racing to the door, Riya hot on his heels, before any of the adults could react to the noises in the hallway. They heard excited exclamations of “Popo!” (Poe)  and “Papa!” (Finn), followed by Finn’s grunt. Finn came staggering in, pretending to be laboring under the weight of his grandchildren, one on each hip, the pair of them petting his gray and black peppered hair. Poe trailed behind, carrying a bag which, Caleb would bet at least ten bucks if he could find anyone to take it, contained one or more presents for the grandbabies. Finn and Poe really couldn’t help themselves, and Meghan and Amelia had learned to just let it happen.

Sure enough, after receiving smacking kisses to both cheeks, Finn set the kids down and gave them each “just something that had caught his eye while shopping.” They ran off to play with their newfound treasures, and Finn and Poe were swallowed in the hugs of their kids. When everyone had settled down again, Finn placed a present on Caleb’s knees before going to sit on Poe’s lap, leaning back and letting his husband’s arms wrap around him. 

“<What’s this?>”

“<Don’t tell me you forgot your own birthday,>” Meghan said sarcastically, then poked Chris, who handed Caleb another package. Amelia scampered to the other room, then came back with a third and dropped it in his lap.

“<Just because you’ve got State on your big day doesn’t mean we can’t do a little celebrating now,>” Poe said, resting his chin on Finn’s shoulder. “<Happy 28th, son.>”

“<Guys,>” Caleb started, then couldn’t figure out what to say next. “<Thank you,>” he murmured finally. He knew he wasn’t always the most connected member of the family. Meghan and Riya lived on the farm with Chris, now, and Amelia worked nearby, and they both made more of an effort than he did to make it to Family Fridays. But despite Caleb’s disconnect, they still cared, they still propped him up, because that’s the kind of people they  _ were. _ The kind of people who accepted anyone. The kind of people Malik hadn’t grown up with, neither friends nor family.

He shoved the thoughts aside, but they didn’t go far as he opened his presents. Gift card for a new pair of trainers from his dads, a drawing from Riya and a box of his favorite tea from Meghan and Chris, and a framed picture of Alex, his little black curls having been tamed for possibly the one minute it took to take the picture, for his desk at school.

It was the picture that did it. He would be pleased to add it to the other pictures he had of his family at school. It was good for the kids to see something personal about their teachers. It helped humanize them. What killed Caleb was the thought that he’d never have pictures of his own family there, never a photo of he and Malik together, sitting happily on his desk, reminding him that he had a warm place to return to after work, a place filled with love. It overwhelmed him, suddenly.

_ I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified. _

“<I’m seeing someone,>” he burst out. “< _ Have been _ seeing someone, for awhile now.>”

The only sound in the room came from Riya and Alex as they banged their toys against other toys in whatever game they were playing. Caleb looked down at his lap, at the presents.

Meghan’s voice was quiet. “<Are you...okay? They’re not…>” She trailed off, but Caleb knew what she was asking. Knew what her background always put first in her mind. Chris squeezed her thigh and she gave him a small reassuring nod.  


Caleb scrubbed a hand over his face. “<No, no. He’s not...it’s not an abuse thing. I promise. It’s…His family isn’t like ours.>”

“<He’s not out,>” Poe said simply, and Caleb nodded.

“<How long have you been, um, together?>” Amelia asked.

Caleb squirmed, unsure of the attention being centered on him at the moment. “<We’ve been … seeing each other for about a year, I guess?>”

“<Oh, honey,>” Finn whispered, fingers threading through Poe’s and squeezing. Caleb wanted that, wanted to be that support for Malik  _ so badly, _ his heart thumped hard  with longing in his chest. “<So besides you, does anyone know he likes men?>”

Caleb shook his head. “<It’s hard. He’s...he’s a teacher at my school. It’s not...it’s not going to get us fired, but there would be talk.>”

“There’s always talk. Worthless talk,” Chris added.

“<He’s not...he hasn’t had the easiest time of it, growing up.>”

Meghan cleared her throat and squeezed Chris’s hand before lifting hers to sign. “<Sometimes we forget, I think, and we get caught up in our bubble on the farm, and how nice everyone is to each other, and how accepting. We forget what it’s like outside in the real world.>” 

“<Would he come to us? Maybe not be out to the world, but...with your family?>” Poe asked.

Caleb shrugged. “<I’m really not sure. He- He’s so afraid.>” He massaged his temple. “<And I- I love him, but I can’t- I don’t want to hide anymore. I can’t keep it up anymore, the lying. I just want...I just want to take family portraits, and go to dinner in our own town, and hold his hand in public.>” Caleb ran his fingers over the framed picture of Alex.

In the silence that followed, Chris slipped his hand across the space and rested it on Caleb’s knee, squeezing. 

Caleb broke the silence. “<Sorry to be a downer,>” he said, a watery little laugh accompanying it that fooled no one. 

Amelia unfolded herself from her spot on the floor, watching the kids, and held out her hand for Caleb. “<Come on, little bro. I got cake. Coconut, your favorite. Let’s go slice it up.>” Caleb let Amelia pretend to pull him up, and all of a sudden Alex and Riya were on their heels with cries and signs of “Cake?”

Trying to let the kids lighten his heart and his mood, he pulled Riya up and settled her on his hip, signing, “<Cake. Want some?>” Her excited clapping did the trick.

“My sisterly instincts say that you deserve to be out and proud, Cay,” Amelia started as she pulled the store-bought cake from the fridge.

“Ames-”

“No, I know. Coming out is different for everyone. You just-” She huffed as she started to slice the cake into wedges, placing them on plates that Caleb had set out for her. “We love you, Caleb, and you deserve someone who can tell you that, too.”

“He’s a good man, Amelia.”

“Good. I won’t have to hunt him down, then,” she replied, pointing her coconut cake covered knife at him, making Caleb feel like laughing for the first time that day. “Just remember, we love you, no matter what.”

“It’s not you guys that are the problem, but yeah, I know. I love you, too. I know I’m not the best-”

“Shut it,” Amelia said as she served two mini slices of cake to Alex and Riya at the tiny table just for kids. “Don’t make me kick your butt for disparaging my brother.”

Caleb gathered her up, chin resting on her head, squeezing her tight. She ran her hands down his back in comfort.

“You need help with anything, you better call me.”

“I will, I promise.”

\------------------

Caleb’s heart was heavy as he drove to “their place,” a secluded park two towns over. They’d had their first date there, their first kiss, just before summer vacation last year. It had been one of the better summers of Caleb’s life, last summer with Malik, when they could ignore, for the most part, their responsibilities, the fears of people around them. They’d gone to the coast for a few days and buzzed around, happy and in that new kind of love that one first feels in a relationship, that isn’t really love, just serotonin. When school had restarted, everything had lost it’s shine. Caleb had vastly underestimated how much it would kill him to see Malik day in and day out without being able to touch him, comfort him, hell, list him as his emergency contact. Facing his second summer with Malik, Caleb was having a hard time looking forward to the happy summer months of freedom, considering the miserable school year of hiding and lying and secrets to come after. 

One thing was for sure, though, he realized when he spotted Malik on a bench, overlooking the Willamette River. He loved this man, and his compassion for the kids, and the brain that computed math problems way faster than Caleb could with a calculator, and his quiet vulnerability, built up over a lifetime of bullying for being a nerd.  _ His _ nerd, Caleb sighed. Fuck if he didn’t make Caleb want to forget all of his worries about lying to everyone and hiding.

Malik turned at the sound of Caleb’s footsteps, a shy smile taking over his face. He stood, shorter than Caleb’s lanky 6’4” runner’s frame by a good five inches, his head fitting perfectly on Caleb’s shoulder when they embraced. Caleb dropped a kiss onto Malik’s shaved head - the easiest option, Malik always said, since he hated having to do anything that could be considered ‘styling.’ 

“How was your family?”

“Loud and happy, same as always,” Caleb said as they started to walk hand-in-hand along the waterfront. “They, uh, threw me a little birthday party. Cake and everything.”

“Oh,” Malik replied, surprise and a not-so-tiny bit of longing evident in his voice. 

“Mal, I- I told them about you. I was- after your text, you were on my mind, and it just sort of burst out.”

“Oh,” Malik repeated. Then: “I’m sorry, Caleb. I wish- I wish your family was my family. I wish we didn’t have to hide. I wish…”

When Malik trailed off, Caleb said quietly, “Your family  _ could be _ my family, Malik.” 

“Caleb.”

“Did you mean it? What you texted me this morning?”

Malik glanced around the empty park and Caleb winced. He leaned against a tree, suddenly tired. “You don’t have to answer. I just - sometimes it feels like, when you don’t acknowledge me, it feels like I’m not good enough for you. I know,” he said when Malik opened his mouth to protest. “I know that’s not it. But it’s really hard for me not to feel that way.”

Malik stepped between Caleb’s legs and leaned into him. “I love you,” he whispered into the skin of Caleb’s neck, voice small, body following suit as he hunched over and tried to make himself less of a target. It still wasn’t the declaration Caleb had dreamed of, but it was what Malik could give him, and he’d have to be okay with that.

Caleb wrapped his arms around Malik and pulled him close. He could feel Malik shiver, and rubbed his back. “I love you too, Mal.” 

“I love when you call me Mal.” Caleb’s laugh was soft against Malik’s scalp. “I love when you beat me to school and leave me something on my desk. I love watching you coach the track team, but God, Cay, I love watching you run, like you were meant to be running always. I love when you go off on some history tangent and prove you’re just as much a nerd as I am.”

Caleb squeezed Malik to him and sighed. “Got any more of that bottled up in there?”

Malik snorted. “I could go on. I love how humble you are, how-”

Caleb cut him off with a kiss, sure and sweet. “Enough of that.” His hands lowered, settling comfortably on the swell of Malik’s ass. “I love when you push your glasses up your nose. I love watching you show a kid how to get the correct answer. I love the little hollow, right here, under your jaw.” Caleb demonstrated, tipping Malik’s head to the right and pressing a kiss beneath his ear. Malik sighed and shivered, and Caleb felt his blood heat.

“I don’t want to hide, Cay.”

“I know, love, I know. I’m sorry I told my family.”

“You shouldn’t have to be sorry.”

“You shouldn’t have to be scared.”

“I think maybe...maybe I could meet them.”

“Yeah? I- you don’t have to do that. But I also really want you to do that.”

Malik pulled back and took Caleb’s hands, a determined look on his face. “You said there was birthday cake?”

“If my niece and nephew left any.” They began to walk back to the parking lot. “Hey, Mal?” He squeezed Malik’s hand. “I’m proud of you.”

Caleb watched Malik’s adam’s apple bob in a swallow. “I don’t know what else I feel comfortable with. Don’t feel proud of me yet.”

Caleb stopped and pulled Malik so they were eye to eye. “I know what a big step this is, Mal. I’m damn proud of you, okay? And you deserve it. We’ll figure out the rest as we go. Together, right?” 

Malik squeezed his hand back. “Right,” he replied, with a nod.


	21. “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.” - Rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was left with lots of Caleb and Malik feels after yesterday's update, and I wasn't the only one. Several of you requested a fic where Malik meets the farm fam, and this is kind of that, kind of something else.
> 
> Rated E for some sexy times; CW: panic attack, anxiety over being outed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "6a school" = a really big school

Malik’s hands gripped the wheel tight as he follow Caleb’s car to meet his family. _To meet his family. Fuck._ He noticed his knuckles were white and he forced himself to relax his hands and do a brief breathing exercise. For the love of Caleb, he could do this. He hated his fear. No, that wasn’t quite true. His fear kept him safe, and when he was safe, he could be comfortable. He hated what his fear was doing to Caleb. He had hated seeing Caleb looking so defeated, so tired, leaning against the tree in their park. Caleb deserved to bask in the light, hell, he _was_ the light for Malik. Caleb was not the type of man who got off on the forbidden, the secret, and Malik wouldn’t have wanted that anyway. He wouldn’t have wanted to be some fetish for Caleb to find pleasure in.

It wasn’t thrilling. It was heartbreaking every damn day. And Malik didn’t want to have to take it anymore. He didn’t want the anxiety of it anymore, for himself or for Caleb.

Malik resisted turning off the highway at every exit and just sending an apology text to Caleb. He knew Caleb would forgive him. Hell, Caleb would probably tell him he was proud of him again, and that would be just too bitter of a pill to swallow. So Malik kept following Caleb, like a star draws planets into its orbit.

\----------------------------------

Malik had been orbiting Caleb Smith-Dameron for years at this point. He’d been starting his third year teaching when his high school headhunted fellow third-year Caleb from another school district to run the track program. When he’d introduced himself at the first staff meeting as the cross country and track coach and the new history teacher, Malik had automatically dismissed him in his mind as a jock. Probably one of those teachers that tried too hard to be friends with their students and wouldn’t bother with intellectual challenge since he’d be gone so much for coaching. Gorgeous, too, so no doubt half the school would have some salacious nickname for him, like Mr. Hottie, by noon on the first day back. Malik wrinkled his nose, then readjusted his glasses. _Whatever_. The benefit of teaching at a 6a school was the fact that the math department and the history department basically had nothing to do with each other. He could easily avoid those deep brown eyes and neat cornrows.

“His name’s Mr. Smith-Dameron but everyone’s calling him Mr. Smith-Damn, son.”

“Oh, and he told us he had a boyfriend, without even blinking, and then said that he’d be helping Ms. Monson with the Acceptance Club this year, and-”

“Yasmin, Barry, while I appreciate you guys being welcoming to new staff members, I think that we should be focusing on recruitment strategies for mathletes to replace the seniors we lost?”

“Yes, Mr. Ford,” the two senior officers of the Mathletes Club mumbled dutifully. They started brainstorming ideas.

It was brave, Malik figured, telling kids your orientation on the first day of school. He thought of the few teachers that had had the “This is a safe zone” sign in their classroom when he’d been in high school, and how he’d been able to relax, even minutely, in those classes more than anywhere else in the world until he’d moved out of his parents' house and into his own apartment. He would never have considered confiding in one of those teachers, but he could grudgingly admit admiration for someone who was providing the same type of space for students like him. He longed for the normalcy that seemed to come easily for Mr. Smith-Dameron.

As predicted, other than through the grapevine of students, he had no interaction with Caleb for the entirety of their first fall together. It wasn’t until November that their paths crossed significantly. Malik was in the habit of keeping in shape by coming into school early and swimming laps in the pool. Even though the school’s workout facility was gorgeous - funny how there was always money for athletics, wasn’t it, but a class set of graphing calculators was just a bridge too far - few staff members used it, and most mornings, Malik found himself alone in the whole facility.

Until November, when a certain history teacher started showing up regularly to use the treadmill. Christ, his stride was steady, and beautiful, and those tiny running shorts should be outlawed, and Malik ended up so distracted that he lost track of his space and slammed his hand into the wall, jamming his finger. “ _Fuck.”_  He finished up his laps quickly, trying to burn off his frustration, but his mood was fouled for the rest of the day, because every time he closed his eyes he saw Caleb in those _fucking_ tiny shorts.

Malik didn't know what to call himself, exactly. It was just that he’d always found it pretty easy to ignore sexual attraction. Or maybe easy wasn’t the right word. Safe. He found it safe to ignore sexual attraction. Outside of a few short learning experiments in college, he’d been able to stick to that plan. Until Caleb Smith-Dameron.

They kept meeting in the morning, sometimes exchanging words, but for the most part, each getting through their workouts in silence. If Malik thought that he caught Caleb checking him out in his suit as he walked to the locker room to shower, well, Malik chalked it up to Caleb being one of those stereotypical male jocks who couldn’t be monogamous if they tried.

One morning, Caleb joined him in the pool, swimming laps a few lanes over from him. It was obvious Caleb wasn’t well trained, and he only made it through a few laps before he ended up propping himself on the side, panting. He signaled Malik when he came back around, and Malik stopped, pulling his goggles off and wiping water off of his face.

“Hey, man, this shit is _hard._ I am admiring you so much right now.”

Malik shrugged. “Your form is horrible, that’s probably why you’re so exhausted.” He winced internally - sometimes he was too matter of fact to be considered polite.

Caleb just nodded, not looking insulted at all. “Yeah, I mostly just learned the basics so my parents could be sure I wouldn’t drown. I didn’t figure it’d be that much different, just going in a straight line, you know? But damn.” Caleb smiled, and Malik couldn’t help but smile back.

“How come you’re not running?”

“Track starts soon and I’ll be getting plenty of running in with the kids. I was hoping I could take up swimming as a type of cross training.”

“I could give you some pointers if you want, next time.”

If anything, Caleb’s smile got wider, and the whole pool area seemed to lighten. “That would be great, Malik,” and Malik felt a little jolt of surprise that Caleb knew his name, but Caleb was already continuing “I was going to ask you if you wanted to hang sometime. I didn’t really realize how isolating it would be out here in suburbia, and I feel like we need to stick together, you know?”

As quickly as the mood had lightened, it all came crashing down around Malik. “Who told you I’m gay? How do you know? Oh god.” Nausea swamped him as his anxiety started to shut him down and the only thing he could think was _run._ He levered himself out of the pool quickly and stumbled toward the locker room, managed to make it to the toilet before being sick. He flushed and sat back against the bathroom stall wall, knees hugged to his chest, shivering because of the panic and the freezing tile floor. He counted in his head, breathing in and out and trying to stop his mind from looping through all of the “what ifs.” He ignored Caleb when the other man sat beside him.

“Hey, Malik, would you like this?” Caleb held out a towel and Malik nodded, taking it and folding it around himself slowly.

“I’m not going to tell anyone. I just need you to know that. Your secret is safe with me, ‘kay?” Caleb’s voice sounded miserable.

“How did you find out?” Malik managed. He was still cycling through all of his recent interactions, trying to figure out where he’d slipped up.

“I didn’t. I was talking about our race, not, um, I guess, our sexuality.”

Relief and anger at himself flooded through Malik. “Oh,” he replied dumbly.

“I’m just used to being around a lot more diversity, and being the only two black people at this school, I thought maybe we could be friends.”

Malik nodded, the aftermath of the anxiety attack making him feel weak. He groaned inwardly at the idea that he’d have to teach today. “I’d appreciate if you, um, didn’t-”

“Of course not, man. I wouldn’t do that to you. I’m so sorry. I can, um, I can go back to the treadmill. I don’t want to make you uncomf-”

“Oh, fuck that. You know now. Obviously I’m not going to make you uncomfortable, since you’re gay, too. You might as well stay.”

“Bi, actually. Bisexual, biracial, bipedal… haha?” Caleb tried a tentative smile, and Malik found his own lips lifting, too.

“Keep coming to the pool. I’ll teach you how to swim laps, because the way you’re doing it, you’re going to end up drowning yourself.” Malik waited for the anxiety to rise in him again now that someone knew his secret, but he found it wasn’t coming. Caleb seemed trustworthy, despite Malik’s earliest judgements of him. He’d heard enough through the kids that Mr. Smith-Damn, son, was kind, non-judgemental, and students felt safe with him. He supposed he could do the same.

Through the spring, Malik kept his word and showed Caleb proper swimming techniques. Caleb started dropping by Malik’s room to ask teaching advice, and sometimes Malik ate lunch with Caleb and some of the other coaches. They’d formed a friendship, and it was nice, Malik realized, to have a friend who was going through similar things that he’d gone through.

“Knock, knock,” came Caleb’s voice one late afternoon, and _goddammit,_ he knew they were friends now but did Caleb _really_ have to torture him by coming to visit after track practice, all short shorts and glowing sweaty skin and perfection?

“Hey, Cay,” he managed to answer, then looked back down at the paper he was grading. Suddenly all of the numbers were swimming in front of him and made no sense. The only time that happened was when Caleb was in the room.

Caleb folded his ridiculous limbs into one of the student desks in front of him, and waited patiently for him to finish grading. Malik sighed and looked up. He’d have to finish the grading later. “How was practice?”

“Good, good. Give me a couple of years and I’ll build the best program this side of the valley,” Caleb said with a grin. Sometimes Malik envied that easy arrogance.

“I’d believe it.”

“Hey, what are you doing this weekend? There’s no meet and it’s supposed to be nice. That’s probably why there’s no meet. If there was a meet, it’d be forecasting rain.”

“Uh, what did you have in mind?”

Caleb looked down at his clasped hands in unusual shyness. “Um...I was wondering...I know this park, farther south, near where my parents live, it’s pretty out of the way, I mean. Really unlikely that anyone we know would be there.”

Malik drew his brows together. “What are you asking, Caleb?”

Caleb met his eyes again. “Would you like to go on a date with me? To the park, this Saturday,” Caleb hurried to clarify.

Malik stared at him, his heart racing. “Aren’t you dating someone already?”

Caleb frowned. “No, we broke up last October.”

“Oh,” Malik said faintly. Then: “Yes. Yes, I’ll go on a date with you.”

The grin on Caleb’s face made grading impossible for the next twenty-four hours.

 

After that first date, and the sweetest first kiss Malik had ever experienced, it had been easy to say yes to Caleb again and again. Caleb was respectful of his wishes to keep their relationship a secret. He was easy to open up to, and Malik found himself telling Caleb things he’d only thought to himself and never even said aloud.

They booked a hotel in Newport for a few days, and Malik had never felt lighter than he had, holding Caleb’s hand as they drove through the Coast Range to get to the ocean. As if the mountains provided cover from the real world, Malik found himself relaxed enough to drape his arm on Caleb’s waist as they checked into the hotel, to buy Caleb something from the souvenir shop and present it to him with delight, to stare into his eyes across their candlelit table that night at dinner.

“You keep looking at me like that, we won’t make it to a bed.” Caleb’s voice was deep and full of promise.

“Maybe that’s the idea,” Malik purred. He experienced an out of body moment - _was that really me?_ \- before sliding his foot along Caleb’s calf.

Caleb’s eyes were hot on his as he signaled the waiter for the check. On the drive back to the hotel, Malik couldn’t keep his hands off of Caleb, off himself - he’d never felt more turned on in his life. The second he had the car turned off, Caleb was unclipping his belt and pulling Malik to him, getting caught on seatbelts and the drive shaft and the emergency brake as he scrabbled for purchase in Malik’s dress shirt. The minute their mouths made contact, they both groaned, frantic in their need.

Caleb had him out and pressed against the door to their hotel room - regrettably on the _outside_ and not the inside - in another minute. He worked the key card with one hand as the other wrapped around the back of Malik’s neck and brought their mouths closer together. They stumbled into the room on a laugh, and Malik kicked the door shut as he pulled at his tie. Caleb did the same. They hurriedly undressed, eyes on each other, until they got down to their boxers, which was similar enough to their swimsuits that they didn’t think about being shy.

“What do you want to do?” Caleb asked, arms circling around Malik’s waist and bringing him back for another kiss.

“Everything,” Malik panted when they broke apart.

Caleb laughed, the sound light and airy and lifting Malik’s heart. “Any particular place you want to start?”

Malik’s hand brushed boldly across Caleb’s boxers, then hooked his thumbs in the waistband. “This okay?”

“More than,” Caleb said with a smile.

Malik leaned back in for a kiss, then wandered over to his bag to get condoms and lube. Slowly he pulled the elastic of Caleb’s boxers down, sliding it over Caleb’s erect cock with exquisite care. He knelt, then looked back up at Caleb. “I’ve imagined how I would do this for a really long time.”

Caleb’s eyes widened. “Yeah?”

“Oh yeah,” Malik murmured, tearing open a condom packet with his teeth and sliding it over Caleb’s dick with his mouth.

“Oh, _fuck._ ” Caleb collapsed onto the edge of the bed, and Malik followed, engulfing Caleb’s cock in his mouth once more, savoring the feeling, wondering if he could push farther. A sloppy blowjob had been one of his experiments in college, but the guy had been smaller. Caleb was long, just like the rest of him, and perfect, just like the rest of him, and Malik wanted to try, but he had his doubts. Not that it seemed to matter to Caleb, who was whimpering above him and clutching at Malik’s scalp, not pressuring, just caressing. Malik swallowed around his head, and worked another inch in, then began to bob, swirling his tongue around. He wrapped a hand around the length that he couldn’t fit in, and palmed his own dick with his free hand.

“Mal, oh God, Mal-” Caleb moaned, voice wrecked, and Malik felt power course through him even as his own orgasm hit and he came in his boxers. Caleb gripped his head, stilling it as he came in the condom, other hand tangled in the bedspread.

They washed up in the shower, Caleb holding him against his chest, Malik feeling wonderfully warm and content. “What do you want to do next?” Caleb whispered in his ear, and Malik grinned.

 

It didn’t take Malik long for him to notice that keeping their relationship secret was making Caleb miserable, once they came back to school in the fall. Caleb had an extremely different background than he did. He talked freely about his dads and their love for each other. Caleb was a hands-on person. Malik could practically see his fingers twitching to touch him when he leaned on the door to his classroom to ask a question. Eventually, Caleb stopped visiting him during the day when he knew he couldn’t show anyone how he felt about Malik. Malik had been sure that their breakup was on the horizon, had started girding himself for the inevitable arguments about being out.

The arguments never came. Instead, Caleb took him away for the weekend, after cross country season was over, and took him apart, body and soul, as they made love in an anonymous hotel in Seattle. The patterned continued: Caleb would avoid him during the day, so afraid was he of slipping up and accidentally outing Malik, then pull him away for private time whenever he could.

Malik knew it was killing Caleb, and he wondered how long Caleb would be able to take it before the benefits of their relationship were outweighed by the negatives.

 

 **Caleb:**  You could come. I could introduce you as my colleague and friend.

It was the most Caleb had ever asked of him, and his automatic response was to say no. He typed it out, then held his thumb over send for a long time, thinking about Caleb’s eyes and Caleb’s arms and the post-it Caleb had left on his desk on Wednesday that said “You can do this!” even though he was holding himself back from visiting Malik personally. He hit send.

 **Malik:** You should have time alone with your family.

 **Caleb:**  They’d like you. Even if we told.

Malik knew a lot about the Smith-Damerons by now. He knew about their backgrounds, and the safe space they’d carved out for themselves and defended fiercely. In his mind, they all shone as brightly as Caleb did, and Caleb deserved that kind of happiness. So did he, Malik figured. Caleb made him happy and he made Caleb happy and he didn’t want to lose Caleb-

He didn’t want to lose Caleb.

He didn’t want to think about Caleb not being with him.

He wanted Caleb in his life.

He was in love with Caleb Smith-Dameron.

_Fuck._

**Malik:** I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.

_I’m terrified about what that means. I’m terrified because I know we can’t keep going on the way we are. I’m terrified because what if I do this, what if I come out, and you leave me, and I’m out and alone and afraid? What if-_

**Caleb:**  I’ll duck out of the family thing early. Meet me at our place, 2pm?

 **Caleb:**  Everything’s going to be okay

Malik scrubbed a hand over his face. He had to trust Caleb.

\------------------

Caleb opened his door for him when he didn’t immediately get out at the small, pretty house. “You still sure about this?” he asked as he held out his hand.

Malik bit down on his lip and nodded, letting Caleb pull him out of the car and into a hug.

“You can do this. You are so strong. And they don’t bite, I promise.”

Caleb walked right in, and Malik followed, his hand resting on Caleb’s back as he used him as a shield. The house was quiet, quieter than Malik had been expecting, given Caleb’s descriptions of the family. A man came into the hallway, about his height, with short blonde curls, and his face lit up with a polite smile.

“Hey, welcome back,” he said quietly. “Riya and Alex are both down for a nap, so we’re just chilling and trying not to make any sudden moves.”

Caleb smiled, then stepped aside so he could put an arm around Malik. “This is Malik Ford. Malik, my brother-in-law, Eli.”

Eli held out his hand and Malik shook it firmly. “He forgot to mention that I’m- I’m his boyfriend,” Malik said in a rush, ripping off the band-aid.

Eli’s smile grew. “Welcome to the family, Malik. Let me tell you, uh, if you’re not necessarily a touchy-feely person, the Smith-Damerons can be a little overwhelming at once. But it’s a wonderful family to be transplanted into.”

“I know,” Caleb said softly. “We all know.”

Malik looked up at Caleb. He talked a lot about his dads but he rarely talked about how he’d come to be a part of their family. Somehow the reminder that Caleb had once been just as much an outsider as Malik sent him a little rush of self-confidence. “Shall we?” he asked, moving toward Eli.

Caleb grinned at him and nodded.

From there, it was a rush of faces and names and lots of signing that Malik realized he was going to have to pick up on. Luckily most of the time they spoke aloud, too.

They shifted outside when the kids woke up, and Malik found himself sitting on the side, watching Poe, Caleb and Amelia show Riya and Alex how to play soccer. He knew he had a stupid grin on his face as he watched Caleb kick the ball ever so lightly to Riya, who grabbed it with her hands and ran away, to the amusement of all of the adults.

Finn was sitting next to him, and laughed. “Soccer with toddlers never changes. I coached Caleb for five years but I’m pretty sure the first three were just watching the kids run around in a clump, trying not to touch the ball with their hands.”

Malik smiled appreciatively, trying to imagine a pint-sized Caleb playing soccer.

“I hope we haven’t been too much?” Finn asked lightly as they continued to watch.

Malik shook his head. “No. Um. No, it’s been okay.”

“It’s amazing, what love has the power to do,” Finn said, almost to himself, as he watched his husband pick Alex up and blow a raspberry on his stomach. “Fear is almost as powerful. Our own, and other people’s. But love blows it away every time.”

Malik couldn’t think of anything to add as they watched the cutest pick-up game in the history of humanity unfold. Caleb met his eyes across the yard and winked, and Malik felt love flower up in him. What if it could be like this all the time? What if Caleb and Malik could commute to work together, and Caleb could drop Malik off at the door to his classroom with a kiss on his cheek and a bag of leftovers from the night before? The image warmed him, and for the first time, looking at Caleb and seeing the support they would have, he thought that maybe the love could overpower the fear.


	22. An Interlude with Rey and Jess - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ever wondered what happened that night in the hotel room when Rey and Jess first hooked up?
> 
> I asked @tenderstatues if I could do anything to help her in the aftermath of Hurricane Matthew, even if it was just fic... I mean, I know fic won't save carpeting or buy a new car...but she took me up on my offer anyway, and requested a fic with Rey and Jess from this au with fluff and smut. Hope this is okay - F/F is not my specialty! 
> 
> This takes place during Part #4: (In)Dependence Day (Here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5946750 ). In it, Finn, Poe, Rey and Jess go out for drinks to celebrate their settlement with Ben; Finn and Poe drop Rey and Jess off at their hotel. Finn comes in search of Rey the next morning, only to find that Jess apparently never made it back to her own hotel room... Rated E

Rey was pleasantly tipsy when Finn and Poe dropped them off at their hotel. Still, she bumped shoulders with Jess, then blushed when Jess took her by the arm to lead her inside. “I’m not drunk,” she mumbled to the older woman. The cool, sophisticated, extremely intelligent lawyer always made her feel clumsy and tongue-tied.

Jess shrugged at her with a wink, and continued to hold her arm as they waited for their elevator. The contact was making Rey feel warm all over; she was ready to shed her wool uniform jacket as soon as she got to her room. And maybe her bra.

“So did you make plans for your little holiday?” Jess asked as the doors pinged open.

Inside, Rey leaned against the wall and watched Jess efficiently hit the button for their floor. “Not really. Just be here for Finn. Moral support.”

“You’re a good friend, Rey. It’s not like you have all the leave time in the world. And you just used time to visit him in the hospital.”

Rey’s cheeks colored. “He’d do the same for me in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah, you’re both pretty disgusting,” Jess said with a laugh, bumping shoulders with Rey, who laughed in turn.

“Good thing you’re around to keep us grounded, then,” Rey replied, sticking out her tongue.

The elevator doors slid open, and they walked toward their rooms. At the junction where Jess would have to leave her, Jess paused. “I’m not really tired. You?”

Rey shook her head. “Nope. Still keyed up from wanting to bash Asshole Ben’s face in.”

Jess frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. “God, can you fucking believe his smugness? I wanted to throw up.” 

“Ungh,” Rey grunted in agreement. “Hey, you want to come in, hang out for a bit? I brought a pack of cards with me.” Rey nodded toward her hotel room door.

“Sure.”

Rey turned to her door, fumbling the key card, suddenly nervous. Her nerves only grew when Jess placed a hand over hers, steadying it so she could slide the card through. “Thanks,” she mumbled.

Inside, Jess kicked off her heels with a sigh of relief. “Oh my god, that feels better.” She shrugged out of her suit jacket and hung it up in the coat closet. Rey followed the line of her body, tracing her curves from her shoulders, down her trim back to her slender waist, emphasized by the tight dress shirt tucked into her pencil skirt, and back over the gentle flare of her hips. Rey’s mouth went dry. She’d seen Jess in just about everything, but here and now, in this hotel room, just a little bit tipsy, Jess’s professional look was undoing her.

She realized Jess was looking at her expectantly, a hanger in her hand, and Rey started, shrugging out of her jacket and handing it off. Funny, she didn’t really feel any cooler. 

She forced herself to turn away from Jess and leaned down to untie her boots. Feet free, she gave a sigh of relief and fell face first onto the queen-sized bed. “Oh man. I might just spend my whole vacation in this bed.  _ So much _ better than my bunk on base.”

Jess laughed, a deep rich sound that made Rey feel happy. “I thought you military bitches weren’t supposed to be soft.”

“If you tell any of my men that I cried over a perfect mattress and a down comforter, I  _ will _ kick your ass.” Rey sighed happily as she flipped over, then laughed when Jess fell on the bed with a thump next to her and tried to dislodge her. “Ha! Can’t do anything to me, this is one of those mattresses where you can put the wine glass on it and jump and nothing happens.” Rey bounced up and down happily to demonstrate.

She should have noticed the gleam in Jess’s eyes. If she had, maybe she would have been prepared for it. Instead, she was completely blindsided when Jess launched toward her, tackling her and rolling with her into play wrestling. Jess was at the disadvantage with the pencil skirt, and Rey easily subdued her, flipping her to her back and straddling her, panting a little as she pinned Jess’s arms to the mattress. Rey’s eyes widened as she realized their position. Embarrassed, she moved off of Jess, turning her back to the lawyer as she lay on the bed.  _ Come on, Rey. You’re way too young for her. She’s not interested. She’s never been interested in the years you’ve known her. _ She rubbed her temple, suddenly feeling completely sober and left with a vague headache. 

She was mid-rub when she felt tentative fingers on her back. Jess was tracing over her rumpled uniform shirt, then sweeping up to her strict bun. “Can I?” Jess asked, hands on her hair. 

Rey was scared to breathe, let alone trust herself to talk, so she just nodded, and then Jess’s fingers were nimbly pulling out the pins and band that held her bun in place. She let down Rey’s hair, massaging into her scalp, down to her neck, easing the tension there, helping with Rey’s headache.

She swept Rey’s hair off of her neck, then, whisper-soft, Rey felt Jess’s lips against her hairline.

“Jess,” Rey breathed out.

“Look at me.” Jess’s voice was soft yet commanding, and Rey rolled to face her. Jess peered intently into her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Um...fine, I guess?”

Jess’s smile was friendly but rueful. “I meant, sobriety wise.”

“Oh,” Rey answered, blushing. “Oh, um. Fine. I mean. I meant what I said earlier. I’m not drunk. Um, you?”

Jess shook her head. “I really don’t want us to do anything we’ll regret come morning because of alcohol.”

Rey’s pulse felt like it was moving double time. “What about regretting it because you’ve never wanted me before and I’m just conveniently here right now?”

Jess frowned. “You think I want this because you’re convenient?”

“I...yes?”

Jess rolled away, staring at the ceiling, frowning even harder. Then, she snorted, clutching her stomach with laughter. “Jesus. Like… it’s all about perspective, huh?”

Rey furrowed her brows and bit her lip while she waited for Jess to go on. Jess quieted her laughter finally, and turned back to Rey, her hand reaching out to brush over Rey’s cheek. “I thought I was being really obvious. But apparently I’m Jane Bennett in this telling of Pride and Prejudice.”

Rey’s eyes widened. “You mean-”

“I mean, I like you, Rey. And I thought I was dropping enough hints, but apparently I haven’t been clear enough. So let me be really clear: I like you, and I would really,  _ really _ like to kiss you.”

A heady mix of relief and want flooded Rey. “Yes please,” she said, then snorted at her own stupid words. 

She was still laughing at herself when Jess’s lips met hers. Her lips were soft, so soft, and Rey wanted to drown herself in them. She let Jess push her to her back, taking the kiss deeper as Jess’s lower body draped over hers.

Rey swept her hands up to Jess’s short, glossy black hair, loving the texture of it beneath her fingers. She massaged Jess much as Jess had done for her earlier, and Jess moaned a little into their kiss, a small needy sound in her throat that had Rey’s heartbeat quickening. 

She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but Rey could have gone longer, groaning in disappointment when Jess broke the kiss, only to sigh happily when she settled on Rey’s neck instead.

Jess looked up at her, chest heaving, and all of a sudden both of them were rushing to get their clothing off. Uniforms - military and lawyer alike - went flying, until Rey and Jess were sitting up, both naked, each taking in the sight before them. 

Rey broke first, crawling to Jess and leaning her back with a kiss on the mouth, then moving down her body, learning it. Lips beneath Jess’s ear, and she shivered. A trail of kisses to one nipple, and she shuddered. Rey brushed over the other nipple with her fingers, lightly pinching and pulling until it was hard and beaded. Jess’s breasts were small, like the rest of her, and perfect, in Rey’s estimation. Every bit of Jess was perfectly proportioned. 

Jess’s fingers tangled in her hair as Rey continued to lave attention on her nipples, teasing with finger and tongue. Her fingers tightened and released, pulling on Rey’s hair, and Rey moaned over her nipple, vibrating it. Jess grinned and immediately repeated the action, making Rey’s eyes roll back a bit. When her hand eased, Rey popped her mouth off of Jess’s nipple and admonished, “Naughty.” Jess just grinned. “Just for that, I’m moving on.”

“Do your worst,” Jess giggled.

Rey’s mouth moved down Jess’s ribs, then kissing over the small curve of her hip. At her stomach, she paused, spreading Jess’s legs by easing her knee out, caressing there behind the knee to make Jess twitch. “Testing status?”

“Negative,” Jess replied. “You?”

“Same.” Without further preamble, Rey lowered her head between Jess’s legs, breathing her scent in deeply, happily, before leaning in to place a small kiss on her clit. Though Jess moaned, Rey backed off, wanting to draw it out, wanting to explore. She slipped lower, licking up the moistness, filling her mouth with Jess. Above her, Jess was playing with her own nipples now, her hips writhing against the bed, her thighs squeezing against Rey’s ears. Rey kept descending until she found her destination, stiffening her tongue to dart inside Jess’s beautiful wet hole. 

“Fuck, Rey-” Jess moaned. 

Rey replaced her tongue with two fingers, then focused on Jess’s clit again. Her fingers made a wet sound, sinking in and out of Jess in a steady pattern. Jess’s hips rose again and again as Rey licked at her clit.

“Oh, shit, oh shit, oh shit, Rey, you fucking goddess.” Jess’s thighs clenched around Rey’s head as she came, quivering around Rey’s fingers. Rey eased off her clit but kept her fingers pumping in and out, adding a third as she nudged Jess’s clit with her nose. Jess’s legs relaxed, her curses quieter now as Rey worked her through the aftershocks. A lick or two over the delicate bundle of nerves kept Jess on her high, twitching through it, until finally she admitted defeat, tugging at Rey’s shoulders.

Rey worked her way back up Jess’s body, exchanging a sloppy kiss before Jess kept pulling her up, up, until she was sitting on Jess’s face, and it was Jess’s turn to go to town.

Rey wasn’t sure she’d ever been this wet, and Jess focused in like a laser on her clit, making her moan and roll her hips into Jess’s mouth. She gripped the headboard, throwing her head forward in defeat at Jess’s onslaught. Rey felt her peak coming too soon and groaned, wanting to last longer. At the same time, she knew, in her heart, that she’d be getting more chances with Jess. She wasn’t a one-night stand to Jess.

Jess’s hands squeezed into her hips, pulling her closer, suckling Rey’s clit between her lips, and Rey gasped as her orgasm slammed into her, rolling up her back and stomach and washing her in pleasure. She felt herself grow even wetter, felt Jess licking it up like a woman dying of thirst. Her nails dug into the wood of the headboard as she rode it out, overwhelmed. When she was able to think, she rolled off of Jess, collapsing on the bed with a happy moan.

Jess was immediately on her, kissing into Rey’s neck, leaving a trail of wetness there. Her own wetness, she thought, happy and satisfied. Jess’s hand was playing over her stomach, rubbing her there, comforting her while keeping her on edge. 

She looked down and met Jess’s eyes, which were gleaming in the low light of the hotel room. Jess threw her leg over Rey’s, rubbing her moist folds against Rey’s thigh and moaning lightly. “You need a break or are you ready for round two?” she asked Rey, even as she rode Rey’s leg. 

Rey pulled her up for a kiss, their tastes so blended together now in a unique flavor that was them, together. “Round two, three, eight…” Jess smirked, placing a kiss on Rey's cheek. “Ready,” Rey confirmed with a small laugh. She wrapped her leg around Jess’s hips and pulled her closer, and they lost themselves in each other once again.


	23. Tumblr minifics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few minifics that appeared on tumblr first.

Malik and Finn’s conversation from [Out of Time. - Plus a little extra.  
](http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Farchiveofourown.org%2Fworks%2F6849610%2Fchapters%2F18221134&t=MTk2NDI4ZDFlZTYxNTc1YTE1YWExNTdhNjVmMjhjYTU2NzM1Nzg3ZCxUZElSUFlVMA%3D%3D&b=t%3AlzzvagN3k9UM_zRrSsTk_A&m=1)

If you asked Finn, he wasn’t the musical one, Poe was, obviously. That didn’t stop Finn from his little habit of humming some little something under his breath when he was particularly happy. Like, for instance, right now, when he was downright incandescent, surrounded by his children, and grandchildren, and watching the love of his life play a pick up game of soccer. 

That’s why he was humming under his breath as he pulled a folding chair up to sit beside Malik, who was taking everything in quietly. The man had wavered between bravado and being scare witless over the course of the afternoon. Finn felt a fierce need to protect Caleb, it was true, but like he always did with lost souls, he felt his heart reaching out for Malik, too.

He hoped they’d make it work.

“I hope we haven’t been too much?” he asked after they’d been watching for a little while. 

Malik was quick to shake his head. “No. Um. No, it’s been okay.” 

Finn watched Poe pick up Alex and blow a raspberry on his stomach. His heart swelled in his chest, like it had done many times before. Sometime Finn wondered at its incredible capacity. “It’s amazing, what love has the power to do. Fear is almost as powerful. Our own, and other people’s. But love blows it away every time.” 

Malik was silent next to him, and Finn hoped he hadn’t overstepped, considering he’d only met him a matter of hours before. “You think?” Malik said finally.

“I think Poe and I have been extremely lucky. It’s not that we’ve never faced homophobia. It’s that we’ve built a network around ourselves to help us when we do.”

Malik had such a look of yearning on his face as he watched Amelia steal the ball from Caleb and shoot into the makeshift goal. 

“You don’t have to be alone anymore, Malik. You need a home for the holidays? We’ve got it. You and Caleb getting flak for your relationship from parents? I happen to know a pretty good lawyer.”

Malik looked down at his hands, which were clenched in his lap. “Why would you offer that to me?”

“You’re probably expecting me to say something like ‘because you’re with Caleb.’ Or, ‘because Caleb’s never brought a date home, much less one he’s been dating for a year.’ That would be true. But what’s more true is that you’re a person, and you deserve all of that. You deserve support and happiness. You don’t deserve anything less.”

Finn watched as Malik digested that. When he discretely dashed a tear out of his eye, Finn reached across the space and squeezed his knee. “Welcome to the Smith-Damerons.”

* * *

 

The not-so-controlled chaos of the changing room gave Finn pause. Everywhere women were floofing, and painting, and laughing. Finn’s hand squeezed involuntarily into Poe’s, and his husband looked over at him. “Remember ours? I think I paced a line into the floor of the main house.”

Poe squeezed back, and leaned in to kiss Finn’s cheek. “The path between our house and our bench was pretty worn before I finally got called to the pasture.”

Finn was gazing adoringly at his husband when Amelia’s voice cut over the crowd. “Can I have sec with my dads, guys? I’ll meet you out there.” The bride’s voice was authority enough to get everyone moving, and Finn and Poe stood aside for the exodus. When the crowd of attendants were gone, all that was left was their precious Amelia, decked out in her pale yellow dress, her hair strung with pearls. 

“Sweet pea, you look amazing,” Finn murmured, holding out his arms. 

With a smile and a small sound, Amelia ran to them, encircling both of them in her bare arms. “I can’t- I can’t. I don’t know if I can make it through this without crying, and I can’t ruin my makeup.” Finn pressed his lips to her hair gingerly, so as not to mess it up, and he saw Poe do the same on the other side. Amelia took a deep breath, and Finn could tell she was steadying herself. “I just…I know you’ve always said we owe you nothing. But…thank you. Thank you for taking a chance on me, when no on wanted me.”

“Oh nugget,” Poe whispered, squeezing her tighter into them. “It’s been our pleasure.”

Amelia pulled back, then stood on tip toes to place a kiss on each of their cheeks. Outside the changing room, the crowd was growing loud again as the wedding planner started calling attendants to line up. Amelia glanced at the door regretfully, and Finn was sad too that their little respite was over. “Ready?” he forced himself to say. 

A little giggle burst out of her lips. “I’m marrying Eli today.”

“Yes you are,” Poe agreed as he took her arm. 

Finn had to laugh. “I had the exact same moment of realization on our wedding day.” He took Amelia’s other arm. “I’m so happy for you, sweet pea. We’re so happy for you.”

Despite her earlier claim that she couldn’t allow herself to cry, Amelia’s eyes were already glittery. Finn gave her arm a squeeze as they headed out to join the procession. 

“I’m marrying Eli today,” she whispered to herself.

* * *

 

“You pick it up!”

“I don’t want to!”

“Neither do I!”

Finn groaned, rolling over in the bed to answer his ringing cell phone. It was late enough on a Sunday morning that he wasn’t expecting an emergency; just an annoyance. Still, when he saw the Facetime request with Caleb, his heart kicked up a little with anxiety. Caleb and Malik were on a trip with some students on the East Coast. But surely Caleb wouldn’t be calling if something was wrong…

“‘s Caleb,” Finn muttered, hitting Poe in the chest to get him to wake up. “Hey, buddy, what’s up?”

Caleb’s bright, happy face filled the screen, and at least that was one worry down. “Hey Dad! Look where I am!” Caleb held the phone out, and Finn could make out the Lincoln Memorial behind him.

“Cool, son,” Poe mumbled, having flopped himself over to see the phone screen, his head on Finn’s bare shoulder. “You know Sunday is the one day I get to sleep in, right?”

Finn was just about to poke Poe into being more enthusiastic for their son who _never_ called them when he caught a glint of something and went alert. “Caleb, is that-”

“I said yes!” Caleb exclaimed through the screen, his loud yell tinny in the quiet of the bedroom as he held up his hand, a gold ring glinting there. Suddenly Malik was in the shot too, arms circling Caleb’s waist, lips pressed against Caleb’s cheek. 

On his shoulder, Poe had perked up too. “Congratulations, Caleb. Malik. Thank you for making an honest man of my son.”

Malik’s laugh was deep and so, so happy. Finn knew Poe felt like Malik was their own son, now, because he felt the same way. Their honorary fourth lost child.

Okay, well, maybe 6th, if you counted Eli and Chris.

“He told me he wanted to get a picture of me standing where MLK did, but instead of pulling out his phone, he got down on one knee. And the kids knew! The kids were in on it, those rascals. Oh my God. Oh my God, my baby,” Caleb gushed, pulling Malik close for a kiss. “They made signs, like those prom signs, you know? But they said “Mr. Smith-Dameron, will you marry Mr. Ford?” instead.”

“Baby, you know I love you, but we need to get going or we’ll miss our ticket time for the White House.” Malik turned to the screen. “Finn, Poe, thanks for your blessing. We’ll definitely talk later.”

“Wait, _they_ knew too? You little rascal, you-”

“Byyyyye,” Malik called before cutting Caleb off with a kiss and hanging up on them.

Finn wiped the tears from his eyes. “Shit, I knew it was coming, and I still cried.” He set the phone back on the bedside table and turned back into Poe’s arms.

Poe kissed Finn’s wet cheek. “You were due. I got all my tears out when Malik came and asked us.”

“I’m so proud of him. Of them.”

“Me too. But Caleb’s going to the bottom of the will for waking me up on a Sunday.”

Finn laughed, burrowing in further and kissing Poe’s neck. “Put Malik on there instead for making our boy so happy.”

“Sounds-” Poe yawned. “Sounds like a plan.”

* * *

 

Chris had walked up the stairs to the main house a thousand times or more. He’d turned the knob on the front door just as many times. Had entered, calling out to Leia even as he headed to where she’d most likely be, the kitchen.

Rarely had it echoed with silence as it did now. Ben and Cassie had moved Leia to their house on the Calrissian land; it was one level, which was easier for her, and she was even closer to her grandkids that way.

They hadn’t wanted to leave the house empty, though, and so a combined force of Cassie, Poe and Leia had convinced Chris to accept the deed as the manger of Organa’s Organics. Poe was phasing himself out, taking on more of the paperwork and less of the grunt work, and dealing more with the veteran program. Chris, who’d never been able to bring himself to walk away from Organa’s, fit into Poe’s role perfectly.

It was funny, though, Chris thought, as his boot steps echoed in the hallway. They hadn’t wanted the main house empty, but even with Chris here, it sure as hell felt that way.

————

She’d never been more radiant. Looking at her practically stopped his heart. Meghan’s hair flowed in waves over her shoulders, the flower crown holding her simple veil ringing her head. She wore a cream sundress, flowing in the gentle breeze, and his ring on her finger. Beside her, little Riya matched her mama, right down to the flower crown, though there was a smudge of dirt on her sundress. The sight of the brown stain made Chris’ grin pop up. His little girl never let something like a fancy occasion and a pretty dress get in the way of a good time.

“<Ready to go home?>” Meghan asked. 

All Chris could do was nod, his throat working to swallow the giant ball of emotion that had made itself known there.

Meghan tinked her glass for attention. “<Thank you guys so much for attending,>” she started. “<Chris and I are ready to go celebrate in private,>” she said with a wink, and the wedding attendees laughed, “<but first, would you please grab a glass and join us on our walk home?>”

Chris grabbed his beer, but then Riya was tugging at his pant leg, and he chuckled, handing his glass off to Meghan. He lifted Riya to his hip, accepting a smacking kiss on the cheek, and joined the procession to the main house.

At the stairs, Meghan stood on the first step and faced the crowd. She handed Chris back his glass, and raised her own, then set it aside to use both hands. “<Raise your glass if you’ve ever felt like Organa’s is your home.>” She smiled, and all Chris could think again was _radiant_ as the crowd raised their glasses in the air. “ <Organa’s is our special place. The place where we can feel like us. I’d like to dedicate this toast to the woman who made it all possible. To Leia Organa.>” Meghan raised her glass in the air again, then took a sip. Everywhere, the crowd murmured “To Leia,” some mournful, some grateful.

“<To love,>” Finn called out, and the crowd agreed.

“<To land. And hard work,>” Poe said, and half the crowd groaned at their boss before concurring.

“<To Meghan and Chris. Carry on the legacy.>” Ben’s voice rumbled low.

“<To Meghan and Chris.>”

With a kiss to her cheek, Chris handed Riya off to Finn, who took her happily, then turned to Meghan, grin wide. Her eyes got big a split second before he swept her up in a bridal carry, knocking her flower crown loose on her head. The crowd cheered as he carried her up the stairs, and she turned the knob open for him. With a final wave, and a hooting from the attendees, Chris brought her inside and kicked the front door shut.

“Welcome home,” he murmured.

In answer, she brought him down for a sweet kiss.


	24. shut up and kiss me - G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tiny tiny little Calik fic. Because I needed the fluff.

Malik was fidgety, and Caleb was having a hard time not dragging him to the closest private room - which just so happened to be their principal’s bathroom - because when Malik was fidgety, all Caleb wanted to do was sooth him back to calm, with touches and kisses and sweet words whispered in his ear. Malik was fidgety, and Caleb was fairly helpless, because someone would notice if both of them went missing and then exited the bathroom together.

It was the first staff function they’d attended  _ as a couple _ . Malik normally hated these things anyway, but Caleb knew that with the added pressure of the meaningful looks they were getting, Malik was on edge. It was the staff holiday party. They’d told their principal a few weeks ago, when they’d discussed moving in together and realized they really didn’t want to hide anymore. It had been an awkward meeting, with their union rep there to make sure things went smoothly, but their new principal had been extremely understanding. Since the meeting, they’d “come out” of sorts - gone Facebook official, which really hadn’t surprised that many of the veteran staff, to be honest, started apartment hunting, started carpooling to work together, started going on dates in their hometown. The notes of encouragement they’d received from former students and parents mostly outweighed the trolls. 

“Do you want something to eat, hun-Malik?” He corrected himself quickly, but Malik still flinched at the epithet in reaction. “Sorry,” Caleb mumbled.

Malik pursed his lips, closing his eyes, probably counting primes in his head, Caleb thought. It was one of his calming techniques. When he opened his eyes, he looked less nervous and more determined. “No, it’s me. This is...I just need to...buck up.”

Caleb’s arm ghosted over Malik’s waist. “We can leave if you want, Malik. I promise I don’t care. We can go home, cuddle up with some cocoa, watch another ep of Luke Cage…”

Caleb could sense Malik hesitating, then he looked over Caleb’s shoulder and nodded. “C’mere.” He pulled Caleb by the hand to a doorway, then stood under it expectantly.

“Uh…?” 

“Look up, Cay.”

Caleb glanced up, and realized quickly that they were standing under a mistletoe bunch. “Oh.” He looked back at Malik. “Mal, you don’t have to do this. We don’t have to prove anything to anyone.”

Malik took a deep breath. “Sometimes, we’re proving things to ourselves, okay? So shut up and kiss me.”

“Okay, Mr. Bossypants,” Caleb murmured before leaning in for the sweet, almost chaste kiss. When he pulled back, he could tell Malik’s face was flaming, but he had a determined set to his shoulders. 

“Let’s go get some food.” He placed a hand around Caleb’s waist, leading him, nodding at colleagues as they went.


	25. The Calm in the Storm - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb/Malik - newly married Caleb and Malik deal with a student.
> 
> CW: Implied child abuse, implied underage sexual assault.

Caleb paused a moment in the doorway, watching his husband glare at his computer, then turn back to the stack of papers, then glare again. “You keep that up, they’re going to be upping your prescription, babe,” he called from the doorway, his heart flying when Malik looked up at him and smiled. The love and need hit him smack in the chest, quickening his heart beat and sending want soaring through his bloodstream. “You ready?” If he sounded a little breathless, let Malik think it was from the Cross Country practice he’d just completed. Images in his mind of Malik bending him over the nearest surface and just pounding into him flitted through his mind. 

“Almost,” Malik answered distractedly. “Just let me finish entering this assignment. Did you get your stuff already?”

Caleb patted the athletic bag slung over his shoulder as he walked into Malik’s classroom and closed the door behind him. “I’m good.”

“Sorry, hun. Seriously, I’ll just be a second.”

“Yeah?” Knowing full well what he was doing, Caleb perched on the edge of Malik’s computer desk, waiting for his husband to give him attention. Or, more accurately, waiting for Malik to notice that Caleb was still wearing his running shorts. The short ones. The ones that drove Malik crazy.

Because hey, it was Friday night, and Caleb had  _ plans _ . Plans that involved taking his husband home, getting them both a little drunk, and having Malik fuck him until they were both so worn and boneless they’d just fall into bed...probably by 9, because they’d both been up since way too freaking early. And they very blessedly had absolutely  _ no _ obligations for tomorrow. Caleb squirmed a little, thinking of exactly how he wanted to lay out for his husband. The kitchen table might be a nice option. Or the couch... 

And the plan started with Malik looking up from his computer and noticing his legs, dammit. 

Caleb smiled as Malik did exactly that, drinking up Caleb’s lengthy, exposed, muscular limbs, to the short-short covered butt that was currently residing on his desk, up to Caleb’s amused face. To Caleb’s consternation, though, Malik frowned back at him. “Hey, wasn’t Misael Pimentel one of your track kids last year? Relay, right?” He looked back at his computer screen, brows furrowed over his glasses.

Caleb took a second to mentally refocus. “Yeah, that was a tragedy. Jonathan hadn’t dropped that baton, Misael’s team would have gotten first at State. As a freshman. Good sport though. Told me on the bus ride home, ‘Next year, coach.’” Now Caleb frowned. “Why, what’s up?”

“He’s failing Algebra 2. His attendance has been pretty erratic, did he do that last year?”

Caleb gave a partial shrug. “I mean, he couldn’t fail any classes and still be in track, so I know he at least wasn’t on the F list. And he made every practice. Though, come to think of it, he hasn’t attended any Acceptance Club meetings so far this year, and he was a regular last year. Even helped out at the walk-a-thon. Have you talked to Winchester about him?” Winchester was the guidance counselor. She was okay, as guidance counselors went, but it was impossible for a counselor to connect with every student in a school of 1200. 

“I just sent an email off to her. I called home, but the phone was disconnected.”

“Hmm.” It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence, given the amount of migrant workers they had pass through their school. Keeping the cell phone connected could be hard. “I don’t think I met Misael’s parents last year at all. Hey, do me a favor? Send me an email with his name, and I’ll try to track him down on Monday, see what’s up?”

Malik turned back to his computer, typing rapidly to send off the email, then sighing. He removed his glasses, rubbing his eyes, then perching them perfectly back on his nose in a habit that was so freaking endearing, it made Caleb’s heart melt every time. This time, when Malik’s eyes raked over his naked calves and thighs, they weren’t distracted. When Malik met his gaze, it was appreciative. “Well, and how did Cross Country practice go, Mr. Smith-Damn-Son?” He stood, glancing toward his closed and locked classroom door before stealing a quick kiss as he molded one hand over Caleb’s sturdy thigh. Old habits - like keeping their relationship a secret - died hard for Malik, but Caleb dealt with it. Technically, getting caught kissing in Malik’s classroom, after hours, when all the students were gone, by a custodian or someone, wouldn’t get them fired. Maybe a little talking to by the principal. But it wasn’t like Caleb wanted to go further than kissing here, anyway. Public sex was so far from the realm of things he enjoyed. No, his plans included his husband driving him home and ravishing him over the kitchen counter...or in the shower...or just fucking him into the bedspread. 

Caleb felt his blush even though he’d planned this. “That’s not my name,” he murmured as he wrapped his arms around Malik’s waist.

“How could I forget?” Malik was looking down at him, and Caleb secretly - okay, not so secretly - adored this reversal in heights. He spent most of his hours being taller than every dang person, including Malik. He bit his lip and pulled Malik a little closer. Malik ran his fingers over the gold band on Caleb’s left hand. “Mr. Ford.”

Caleb sighed in happiness. “Mr. Ford.” He pulled Malik between his legs and brought their lips together. 

“The custodian’s going to catch us, baby,” Malik murmured against his lips.

Caleb rubbed his calves against Malik’s clothed legs, a move he knew drove Malik crazy. “So take me home. I have a plan,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Malik laughed. “Lord save me from a Caleb plan.”

Caleb feigned hurt, then winked. “I was thinking of maybe cracking open...then finishing off that bottle of wine that we’ve been saving for a special occasion.”

“What’s the special occasion?” Malik asked with amusement.

“You’re my husband.”

Malik chuckled and nuzzled along Caleb’s cheek. “You’re too fucking adorable. But-”

Caleb stiffened beneath him, groaning. “What did I forget?”

“If you’d just look at the calendar I loaded in your phone-”

“People should  _ not _ schedule things on Friday night. Friday night is for-”

“Family, Cay-Cay.” Malik stopped his angry muttering with a kiss. “We’ve got family dinner with your dads. With the twins, and then Finn and Poe going to Hawaii, and then your meets, we haven’t been had the whole group together in awhile. I heard tell that  _ everyone _ was going to be there.”

Caleb tried very hard not to continue to grumble. It’s not that he didn’t love his dads with absolutely everything inside him. He couldn’t have asked for a better set of parents, honestly. It was just- It was just- He lost his train of thought as Malik waited patiently for him to come around to the idea. Malik loved family dinner. The Smith-Damerons had filled a gaping hole in his life, a pressing need that Caleb couldn’t deny him even if he wanted to. And he didn’t want to. So he sighed as he watched his perfect evening slip away, but smiled up at Malik anyway. They had the rest of their lives, after all. “I guess I should go shower, then, and change back into work clothes.”

“Aw.” Malik fingered the smooth fabric of his running shorts, making Caleb laugh. “I mean I hate to see them go, but also, if you wore those to dinner, I don’t think I could stop from disgracing myself in front of your dads.” He angled his mouth over Caleb’s, then pulled him up and turned him toward the door with a swat to his butt. “I’ll text Finn with an ETA. Go do your thing.”

Caleb shook his butt at Malik, just because he could, and with a wink, left for the shower. 

\----------------

Their dads ended up having wine anyway, so an hour or so later, Caleb found himself nestled in the corner of his dads’ living room, sipping at a good Riesling and watching his husband interact with his family. He could remember the first time, and many times after the first, when Malik had been even quieter with his family than he’d been with Caleb when they started becoming friends. Now, Malik was sitting in a trio with Meghan and Chris, alternately discussing something animatedly as he practiced his signing. The combination of the scene and the wine made Caleb warm with pleasure. 

“You’re looking a little like the cat that caught the canary.” Finn sat down next to him on the loveseat, his own beer in his hand. 

Caleb winked, holding out his wine glass to clink with Finn’s beer. “Pretty sure I did, Papi.”

“He’s a good man, that’s for sure.”

Caleb was grateful that everyone had been so easily accepting of Malik - like it was ever a question anyway. But considering Malik’s family - this, this was important. Finn and Poe had attempted one extremely chilly, extremely horrible dinner with Malik’s parents, sometime in the second year of their dating. He winced internally, remembering the awkward silences. At least it hadn’t ended in a screaming match, like the time he and Malik had swung by to announce their engagement. They’d invited Malik’s parents to the wedding, of course, but they hadn’t shown up. Caleb had to sit on his hands sometimes to keep from wanting to slap his in-laws silly at the way they treated his husband. In the meantime, at least he had a surrogate family Malik could wedge himself into.

“How’s school?” Finn asked after a sip of beer, and he fell into an easy conversation with his dad as they watched Alex, Riya, and the twins, Violet and Michael - Amelia and Eli’s new adoptees, a little over a year older than Alex and Riya - run around the living room, playing with Papa and Popo’s toys.

Later, Malik came to sit in his lap as they shared a piece of pie, and Malik poured him another glass of wine with a grin, knowing how much of a lightweight he was. “One of us might as well get a little tipsy, babe,” Malik had murmured in his ear, before turning to continue the conversation with Poe about the dads renewing their foster care credentials. 

“We still have so much to give,” Poe explained. “Even just temporarily.”

Caleb nodded. He and Malik had no plans for children - they really enjoyed being uncles, it was true, but the thought of taking someone on full time was less appealing. Plus, he took care of 150 children every day, and he tended to think of each one as his kid. Still, he admired his dads for continuing their commitment to children in need.

As he felt Malik’s weight rest pleasantly on him, and his mind was just a little fuzzy from the wine, he figured it wasn’t so bad, this family night. Still, he couldn’t help dipping his hands a little lower when no one was looking, and latching his lips onto Malik’s neck.

Malik’s laugh bubbled out of him. “Think it’s time to get you home, buddy.”

“Yeah?” The word was mumbled against Malik’s skin.

“Yeah, you’re getting a little loose with the PDA, babe.” Malik’s voice wasn’t admonishing, but nervous sounding.

“Oops, sorry.” Caleb pulled back immediately. Sometimes Malik was still triggered by public displays of affection.

Malik squeezed his hand to thank him. “It’s okay. You’re okay. You’re freaking adorable, is what you are.” Malik took a deep breath. “Thank you for accomodating me.” He leaned in to brush a light kiss across Caleb’s lips. In most regards they were perfectly in sync, but in this area, they were exact opposites. If Caleb had his way, he’d be folded around Malik every chance he got, but a childhood of being told people like him were an abomination wasn’t something Malik could just shake off. He was doing so much better, anyway.  _ Doesn’t matter _ , Caleb thought.  _ We make it work. _

They said their goodbyes, Caleb realizing when he got to his feet that he was a little tipsier than he’d thought before. Malik gave him a half smile and helped him into the passenger seat. “My cheap little date,” he said with a laugh, handing Caleb the buckle when his fingers seemed to be made of rubber.

“I resent that, probably. Hey, sorry both of us didn’t end up like this, it’s totally not as fun, I’m sure,” Caleb replied when Malik had gotten into the driver’s seat.

Malik leaned over the drive shaft and kissed Caleb thoroughly. “S’okay. I kind of love you like this.”

“Just kind of, huh?”

“I love you madly like this?” Malik offered as he pulled out of the farm’s driveway. 

“Madly enough to take me home and fuck me senseless?” Caleb ground against the car seat. Now that they were alone, the need he’d kept at bay all night rose up again.

Malik laughed. “You want to be fucked tonight, huh?”

Caleb whined, reaching down to touch himself through his slacks. “Yes.  _ Yes.” _ He rubbed the hard column of his cock. “ _ Need it, Mal.  _ God, have needed it since I saw you at your desk.”

“Jesus. Remind me to listen to you when you say you have plans.” 

Caleb smiled as he felt the car edge up just a little higher - Malik was notorious for driving just under the speed limit, so obviously he was pushing Mal. He hummed as he stroked himself, a wet spot forming on his dark slacks. The need was thrumming through him. He just wanted to be filled up by Malik, surrounded, consumed.

The good thing about Malik driving was that they made it safely and sedately into the garage. If Caleb didn’t know bone deep that Malik loved him, wanted him, he’d feel nervous or slighted at the way Malik could keep a cool head in these types of situations. But when the garage door had closed behind them, Malik was up and out of the car in a flash, then at Caleb’s side, pulling him out and into a rough kiss that both satisfied and fired everything inside Caleb to a boiling point. 

Caleb whined as Malik moved on to press a kiss below his ear. “C’mon, baby. I’ve got you.” Malik pulled Caleb back to their bedroom, bypassing everything to work at Caleb’s belt buckle. 

Caleb shuddered and sighed when Malik finally got his hand on Caleb’s cock. “Ah, god, yes you do.” Fuck, but he sometimes he just  _ loved _ Malik taking charge. So fucking sexy. Made Caleb want to just roll over and present for him.

He hummed some more when Malik turned him around, pressing his chest to the bed, his ass in the air for the taking. He’d managed to kick off his slacks, but his button up still clung to him. He pressed his ass further into the air, whining a little as Malik divested his own slacks and grabbed the lube. “Shhhh, Cay-Cay, you’re so needy baby, but you’re not ready. Gotta get you ready.”

When Malik’s first lubed finger entered, Caleb clutched at the sheets. “Ah, fuck,  _ Mal. _ ” He felt Malik’s hand under his shirt, massaging his spine. In no time, Malik’s cock was sliding into him, feeling like safety and home and happiness, and Caleb keened, burying his face in the sheets and going up onto his tiptoes, everything in him asking for  _ more. _

Every single thrust was pounding his prostate, forcing a moan out of him that had Malik grunting appreciatively. “Yes, yes, yes,” Caleb mumbled into the sheets repeatedly. Unable to resist, he stole a glance over his shoulder at Malik, who was biting down on his lip and watching himself enter Caleb again and again and again, a happy little spacey expression on his face. Caleb moaned again and clenched down around Malik’s cock.

“Oh, fuck, Cay, fuuuuuh-” With a shout, Malik shot inside of him, filling him, warming him, the feeling of his cum and the rubbing against the sheets setting Caleb off. With a cry, he sobbed into the sheets, seeing stars and galaxies and a freaking laser light show in his brain as he came. Then he was being moved to his side, and Malik was wrapping around him, and everything was yummy and fuzzy and wonderful and light, even with his eyes closed. He hummed, happy to keep his eyes closed and let sleep take him after a long week.

“Not yet, babe.” Malik pushed on Caleb’s boneless body until he was positioned properly in bed. He left, which had Caleb moaning and missing his body heat and the contact, then came back with a warm washcloth to clean them, which had Caleb purring into his touch. “You are ridiculous, Mr. Ford.”

“Only ‘cause you treat me so nicely.”

“Fair.”

He felt himself be wrapped in Malik’s arms again. “I’ve got you next time, promise.”

He heard Malik’s chuckle, felt it against his skin. “Okay, baby, okay.”

He ran his hands over the arm Malik had settled at his stomach and sighed happily into sleep.

\---------------------

He hummed, a spring in his step on this fine Saturday, and it actually wasn’t raining for once in the Willamette Valley on a Saturday. Malik had sent him to Home Depot, which meant he was on a mission for his husband, which, after last night, made him ridiculously happy. It was also sickeningly perfectly domestic, being sent to get caulk for the bathroom remodel they were working through, and Caleb loved every second of it. 

The Home Depot shared a strip mall with the Dollar Tree, and Caleb was absentmindedly checking apps on his phone as he walked in front of the doors, then collided with someone rushing out. 

“God, sorry, that’s what I get for texting and driving,” Caleb joked, reaching for some packs of ramen that had scattered on the ground in the collision.

“Coach?” 

Caleb looked over at the person he’d knocked down, ramen still in his hand. “Misael?”

If Caleb had seen him from the back, he wouldn’t have recognized this skinny kid in the promising freshman he’d coached last year. His limbs were still lanky, but he’d lost muscle mass, and his cheeks were gaunt in a way Caleb recognized, in a way that made him sick to his stomach. Misael’s eyes darted from Caleb, to the open door of the dollar store, where a few people were looking at them rather disinterestedly, probably wondering why they were still on the ground. Misael was sort of holding his stomach protectively, and Caleb could see an uncharacteristic bulge there, like he’d smuggled something out of the store. Caleb could make out more ramen packages, stolen under his shirt. Misael’s eyes were desperate and pleading on his, and in a split second, Caleb made a decision. A kid stealing was one thing. A kid stealing food?  _ Cheap _ food? Every red flag Caleb had waved in unison.

He shoved the ramen back into Misael’s grocery bag and stood, holding out a hand to boost the kid up. His stomach turned further as he noticed bruises along Misael’s ribcage where his shirt had ridden up. In the shape of someone’s hand.  _ Fuck. _ “Hey, I was about to grab something at the teriyaki place on the corner, but I actually had a question for you, from Mr. Ford. Want to come with? My treat.”

Misael eyed him warily, now that it looked like Caleb wasn’t going to be turning him in. “I need to get going,” he mumbled. 

Caleb held up a hand, pausing Misael but making sure not to touch him. “Misael, I can tell you’re in trouble. I can help you. I know resources that can help-”

“No one can help me but me,” Misael replied, stubbornness setting into his bones. Then, he looked up at Caleb long enough to seem sincerely contrite. “But, uh, thank you. For not turning me in,” he mumbled. He cast back one last glance at the store before running away. Caleb tracked him until he turned into an alley and turned again before Caleb could follow. 

“Shit. Shit shit shit shit.” Caleb kicked at the cement in frustration then walked hurriedly through Home Depot to complete his errand. On the way out, he stopped in the dollar store and left them a few bucks, making up some story about having miscounted an item earlier and shortchanging them. The manager was suspicious, but accepted the money anyway.

Back home, he told the story to Malik as he paced the living room. Malik, being Malik, took notes, then pushed them toward him when Caleb had finished. “You have enough to call even if you leave out the shoplifting so Misael doesn’t get in trouble. You know what you need to do.”

Caleb’s stomach refused to let go of its knots. “Yeah. Fuck.” He scrolled through the staff part of the school website until he found what he needed, and punched the number in for CPS as Malik held his hand.

\------------------------

Filing the CPS report, and then having a long discussion with his principal and counselor about helping to support Misael, whatever the outcome, left Caleb feeling strangely drained and helpless. Malik found him on the couch, staring into space, TV not even on, sometime in the afternoon. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he’d been there, to be honest. Malik sat down by him, then pulled Caleb over, so his head was resting in Malik’s lap. He closed his eyes as Malik brushed at some of the stray curls that had escaped his cornrows. 

“You did the right thing.”

“I know.”

“You did the legal thing, too.”

“I  _ know. _ Why am I feeling like this, then?”

“Because you’re human. You  _ care _ , baby, or you wouldn’t be in this job.” 

“It’s not that I didn’t want to file-” Caleb cut himself off, feeling useless.

“I know,” Malik murmured. “It’s that you didn’t want it to happen in the first place.”

Caleb felt a tear slide out at Malik’s perfect understanding of him. “I should- I should know, I should expect, given...given my family. It’s not like I grew up sheltered from it.”

Malik rubbed down, across his chest, stopping to feel his heartbeat. Where he paused, Caleb felt the warmth of his palm through his shirt, and it helped comfort. “You were, kind of, though. The Smith-Damerons...the farm...they’re the calm in the storm, you know? And you knew what the storm was, but you got to live for a long time in the calm.”

“That’s...a good point.” He nestled further into Malik’s thighs, craving the contact, and since they were home, alone, Malik was in the right frame of mind to give it to him. 

“He’s going to be okay, Caleb. Because you helped. You didn’t just sit by and do nothing.”

Caleb sighed. “I just wish I knew what was going on.”

“I know, Cay, I know.” He kept up the contact, smoothing over Caleb’s hair, his cheek, his neck and shoulders. “How about I make us some chicken soup, that recipe you liked, and we have a quiet night in?”

Caleb managed a tiny smile. “I’m pretty sure we were already planning a quiet night in, it’s kind of our style.”

“That’s what you think. Every night when you go to bed, I sneak out and hit all the clubs.”

“Oh really?”

“Poppin’ tops? Is that a thing the kids still say?”

Caleb snorted. “If you have to ask…”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He leaned down, and Caleb met him halfway for a soft kiss that helped him soothe further.

He lost himself in the remodeling work they were doing on the half-bath while Malik puttered in the kitchen, putting together dinner. The work was meditative, and Caleb didn’t really realize how far he’d gone into a trance until their doorbell went off multiple times, followed by furious knocking. The half-bath was in the hallway leading to the front door, so he got there before Malik, not checking the glass before pulling the door open. He was shocked to find a soaked - it must have started raining sometime - Misael, a  _ battered _ Misael, his lip bloody, his eye shot with blood, surrounded by black bruising. 

“Oh my God, Mi-”

“This is all your fault!” Misael balled up a fist - god, his fist looked so small, Caleb thought fleetingly - and landed a hit right on Caleb’s gut.

“Jesus,” Caleb wheezed, as Misael’s eyes went wide.

“Oh- oh shit. Shit. Shit shit,” Misael wailed.

“What the hell is going on here?” Malik arrived, still toweling off his hands. “Misael? What-”   
“Oh shit. I’m sorry, Coach. I’m sorry, I’m sorr-”

“Misael.” It was Malik’s teacher voice, and it cut through the chaos. “Sit down, will you, please? Right there?” Misael obediently shuffled to the swinging bench that Caleb had installed for them. Malik cupped Caleb’s face, examining his eyes. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I-” Caleb cut off when Malik briskly nodded, then turned away from him and back to Misael. 

“Misael, look at me.” Malik waited patiently for Misael to meet his eyes. “Do you have any other injuries besides the face?”

Caleb watched Misael’s eyes slide away, then flinch when Malik raised his hand to turn his head to examine it. Malik dropped his hand without touching Misael. “It’s okay. I won’t touch you. It’s okay,” he soothed.

Misael looked over at Caleb. “I’m sorry, coach. I- I lost my head. But now I’m fucked, and it’s all your fault. So-so you have to help, you said you would help.” He burst into tears, covering his face and sobbing in great heaves. Caleb pulled the recycling bin over, flipped it and sat down in front of Misael.

“I can help, Misael. I promise. But you have to tell us what happened.” 

“The cops came looking for me,” Misael said accusingly. “Luckily my neighbor warned me. Fed them a story. But my landlord doesn’t want trouble. He threatened to kick me out. This,” he gestured to his face, “was a warning.”

Caleb clenched his fist. “Okay. Where are your parents?”

Misael looked away. “Gone. Not coming back.”

“Since when?” Malik prompted gently.

“May,” Misael mumbled.

“You’ve been living on your own since May?” Misael shrugged. “How did you...did you get a job?”

“Yeah. Been working at the corner market as many hours as I can get, which isn’t much.”

“Enough for rent, though?”

Misael’s eyes slid away again. “I’d, uh...rather not talk about that. You said you’d help. I can’t go back there. He- it’s okay what the landlord does to me, but he- he threatened Angelina. I need your help. I just need someplace to stay until I make a new deal with someone, find a room for us.”

“Angelina is…”

“My little sister.”

Caleb’s eyes sharpened. “Where is she now?”

“I told her to wait for me while I talked to you. She’s, uh...under your porch.”

Caleb immediately stood and walked out into the rain to look under the porch. Sure enough, a little girl sat shivering there, her arms bundled around her knees, completely soaked. His inexpert eye pegged her at 9 or 10. “Hey, Angelina.”

“It’s alright,” Misael’s voice filtered through the porch slats. “You can come out now.”

The tiny, scared bundle unfolded herself, and she didn’t get much bigger. Shaking, she held out her hand for Caleb, and Caleb took it, guiding her up the stairs. The family resemblance was obvious, and it didn’t take an expert to see something else: that Misael had been starving himself at the expense of his sister. Her cheeks weren’t gaunt; her limbs were tiny, but they fit the rest of her. 

“What if,” Malik started, voice gentle now, “we go inside? I made some chicken soup for Cal- Mr. Ford and me for dinner. Would you guys like some of that? And we can get you guys warm and cleaned up, okay?”

Angelina nodded eagerly, transferring her hand to Malik’s and following him inside. Misael held Caleb back. “Coach, you can’t call the cops on us. They’ll split us up. I’ll never see Angelina again. I know how this works. Kids our age don’t get adopted. We’ll end up in the system, and I’ll never see her again.” His hand was clutching into Caleb’s arm desperately. “We just need a place to chill for the night, and then I can work out another deal and-”

“Misael, what do you mean by ‘deal?’ You said that before.”

Misael shuffled his feet. “My, uh, landlord cut me a deal. If I let him-let him- …” He avoided Caleb’s eyes studiously, as Caleb’s stomach twisted itself into more knots. “Then he gives me a cut on rent. Sometimes the whole thing, if I let his friends-”

Caleb had to take a deep breath when Misael cut himself off.  _ Jesus fuck. _ “Since May?”

Misael gave a half shrug, and Caleb’s heart broke into a million pieces. “It’s not so- so bad anymore,” Misael said, determined. “It’s gross, and sticky.” He shifted uncomfortably. “I let him...before we left...to calm him down. And distract him. He didn’t use a condom, I hate when he doesn’t use a condom.” The words stopped as suddenly as they’d spilled out. “I don’t want Angelina to know, okay?”

Caleb wanted to smash his fist into the nearest wall, or preferably, the landlord’s face, but held himself back. “Sit down for me again, will you, Misael?” Misael sat on the bench, looking smaller than his 15 years. Caleb sat on the recycling bin again and faced him. “Angelina doesn’t have to know. But...I have to call the police- no, wait, listen,” he begged, when Misael stiffened and started to rise. “If I don’t, Mr. Ford and I, we could lose our jobs.” Misael’s eyes widened. “But that’s not- you-” Caleb closed his eyes for a second and tried to figure out what to say. “I know people. I know several nice police officers that I trust. I know lawyers. I know a really, really nice doctor that I’d like to have look you over.  _ I can help. _ I promise. And I know a set of foster parents that happen to have free beds. And would happily take  _ both _ of you. It’s not- It’s amazing, how you’ve kept your sister fed and clothed. But the price you’ve paid- that’s not...I’m not letting you leave here to get yourself into a similar situation.”

Misael looked wary. 

“Please, Misael. I promise you, you will get to stay with Angelina. You’ve done such a good job taking care of her.”

Misael swallowed, then nodded, trust filling his eyes instead.

Caleb nodded with him. “Now, it’s all in the order of the calls…” He took out his phone, tapped in a number, and waited. “Dad?”

\------------------------

Eli arrived first; he and Amelia lived not ten minutes away, after all, and he’d rushed over, then immediately appeared apologetic, pulling Caleb aside. “We need the social worker’s okay, since they don’t have a guardian. And some of this would be better at the hospital. I can get him cleaned up safely, but the rape kit and the STD test, that should be done in a clean environment. And I can’t even clean him up without a social worker’s go ahead. I’m sorry.” He balled a hand into a fist. “Goddammit, I hate feeling so helpless.” 

“I know the feeling,” Caleb muttered. “Can he at least have some chicken soup? I was worried about malnutrition…”

Eli glanced back at Misael, who was cuddled in one of Caleb’s winter coats and rocking himself slowly on the porch, trying to avoid them. He’d wanted to stay out here, deal with everything out here, so Angelina wouldn’t get scared. “Until I can examine him further...just the broth?” Eli looked apologetic again, and Caleb nodded, understanding. “Hey, why don’t I go inside and see how Malik is doing, and get some broth, while you guys wait for the others?”

“That’s a good idea.”

Eli was coaching Misael to take slow sips of broth when the social worker showed up at the same time as Finn and Poe. Caleb pulled them all into the living room, and Finn made introductions. “Caleb, we know Valeria through the foster system. Valeria, this is our son, Caleb Ford.”

Caleb quickly relayed the story as he knew it. “If- if they’re separated, he’s a flight risk. I know it. Anyone who would...put themselves through what he did for his sister… he’d run away in a heartbeat if you separate them.” Caleb was a second away from dropping to his knees and begging.

Valeria had listened quietly, brows furrowed, throughout. “Well, you certainly tipped the cards in your favor, calling your dads in. But we’re not heartless, Mr. Ford. I would have found a place for them to stay together.”

“I-” Caleb blushed. “Sorry.”

“Long term might be a different story. Misael will age out of the system soon-”

“Let’s-” interrupted Caleb, thinking of what Malik had said earlier about the calm in the storm. “Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Valeria reached across to take Caleb’s hand. “I think it’s time to bring the police in.”

Things started going faster after that. Caleb stayed in the room as Eli cleaned Misael up, making sure to bag any contaminated supplies. The police gathered statements from everyone, and Finn and Poe signed the paperwork to become their foster home.

They all drove to the hospital, where both Caleb and Malik held a shaking Misael’s hand as they performed the abuse exam, taking pictures of the bruises on Misael’s hips, and a sample of DNA, and blood to be tested for STDs. When the exam was finished, Misael curled into himself, quietly crying, but he continued to hold onto their hands. 

By unspoken agreement, they followed Finn and Poe to the farm to say goodnight. Though Caleb hadn’t spent a lot of time with her, Malik received a huge hug from Angelina. Malik’s face was a mixture of alarm and pleasure. Misael’s vulnerability seemed to have been shed now that his clothes had been returned to him, and he gave Caleb a stiff nod. Unsure of what to say, do...hell, even how to feel, Caleb returned the nod, hugged his dads, and started walking back toward the front door. 

“Wait, coach!”

Caleb turned, only to be tackled around the middle by Misael. Abruptly, he let go again, then nodded at Caleb once more. “See you Monday, right coach?”

“Yeah, buddy. You will. And every day after that, and then Friday for family dinner.”

Misael’s eyes went wide, then he schooled his expression back down into contained excitement. “Cool.”

Behind them, Malik was giving Angelina one last hug, and he was making her a similar promise about Friday. Her lip was quivering even as she moved away, stepping closer to Finn. 

Malik took his hand, and they gave a final wave as they walked out.

In the car, Malik continued to hold his hand. “How are you doing? I haven’t had a chance to check in.” He brought Caleb’s hand to his lips.

“I don’t want kids, Malik.” Caleb tried to emphasize the statement with his eyes.

Malik nodded. “I know. I mean, leaving Angelina behind was-”

“Kind of like leaving a limb behind.”

“Yeah.” Malik’s brow furrowed. “Yeah, but-”

“But we don’t want kids.”

“Do we not want kids, or do we not want  _ kids _ ?” Malik asked.

“You were right, earlier.”

“Yeah? ‘Bout what this time?”

Caleb went for a small smile, and Malik looked gratified. “‘Bout my parents being the calm in the storm. ‘Cept you’re that for me too. That’s what we have. We have calm, when we come home. The storm stays out there, but what we’ve built for ourselves- we’ve built the calm.”

“I’m following the metaphor, even if I think we’re straining the bounds of it.”

“So what if we shared the calm with others?”

“So...it’s not  _ wanting _ kids...it’s just being generous.”

“Yeah.”

“To two kids, specifically.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

Malik chuckled a bit. “Yeah. That sounds convoluted enough. It’ll work.”

“So we’re going to do this?”

“I mean, we can at least start the process, right? Until then, they’re just at the farm. We have more time to...test it out, so to speak. See if it works for them, see if it works for us. We’d be losing quiet evenings at home,” Malik pointed out.

“Yeah. We’d be gaining a lot, though, I think.”

“Yeah.” He squeezed their hands together. “We got this, Mr. Ford.”

“We do, Mr. Ford.”

  
  
  



	26. You Don't Kiss the Rescues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redlipstick requested: POV - write a scene you’ve written from another character’s POV.
> 
> Because I just slipped over 400 followers, I’m going to go back to the beginning. Specifically, the second fic I ever wrote, for the Organa’s Organics au, Traitor(s). It’s in Finn’s POV, the morning after he meets Poe (and the morning after their first kiss). I wonder what Poe was thinking about that?

_You don’t kiss the rescues, Poe._

Poe hesitated at the door to his guest room - guest closet, more like. No sounds from the other side, though that made sense, what with the big day Finn had had before. _You know, leaving First Order and his life behind, coming to the farm, getting kissed senseless by me…_

Poe’s fingers drifted over his lips, thinking of the softness of Finn’s. God, pressing him against that tree had been…damn near perfect. _Near? Try perfect._ The way Finn’s body fit against his, like they were made for each other, and-

 _Dammit, Poe, this is why you don’t **kiss**_ _the rescues._

He left a note for Finn on the counter, grabbed a granola bar, an apple, and his hat. He had a farm to manage. Not a gorgeous too-young-for-him smart-as-fuck law student to think about. Nope. That’s totally not what he was doing. He took a healthy bite from the apple.

He adjusted his hat on his head and found BB in her field. “Hey, beautiful,” he murmured as she trotted up to greet him. He offered her the apple and she nickered happily as she began to devour the fruit - not Organa grown, theirs wouldn’t come in for another three months or so. And with that thought, his mind was off, thinking about the duties he needed to cover that day, the fields he needed to visit, the phone calls he needed to make. And at no point in time did his mind slip back to what a certain person currently sleeping in his guest bed might look like curled up next to him. Nope.

He saddled BB, and swung up onto her, leaning over to hose at her mane, and give her a kiss, because apparently he _did_ kiss the rescues.

He checked the progress on the east fields; the hands were making steady work of the weeds there. He dropped by the main house to chat with Leia, ask her opinion on sunflowers for one of the fields. He noted that the Market Barn still needed cleaning, and radioed Snap about it. Checking his watch, he figured it was about time to head back to the cottage and check on Finn.

Finn, looking fresh from sleep and in casual clothes, just about stopped Poe’s heart. _You **don’t** kiss the rescues, Poe. No. Stop what you’re thinking right now._

“Hey! Good morning, buddy!” he tried instead, infusing his voice with false enthusiasm as he dismounted BB.

Finn’s brow furrowed slightly, and he looked embarrassed. “Hey,” he said, voice sounding slightly deeper in the morning, making Poe want to melt into him. Already he could feel himself be drawn in. “What a gorgeous horse.”

 _Right. Horse. Good neutral subject._ “BB-8?  Yeah, she’s gorgeous.  Aren’t you?” He laughed when BB nosed at his pocket. Turning back to Finn, Poe handed him a baby carrot from his pocket. “You want to make friends for life? Give her this.”

Poe watched as Finn nervously, but damn endearingly, held the carrot out to BB-8.” Hi B— BB-8, I’m Finn.”  Finn snorted when BB tickled his palm, searching for more treats, and Poe’s heart did a fast flipping tumble in his chest. _Fuck. **You** don’t kiss the rescues. Don’t even think about it, Poe._

“Why BB-8? That seems like a weird name for a horse?”

“Well,” Poe started, trying to get his mind back on track, “technically she’s Beatrice Belle the 8th.  She’s got one of those fancy thoroughbred names that no one ever actually says out loud.  But she never was quite fast enough for racing, so we rescued her from an unhappy future and called her BB-8.  We’ve got quite a few rescues here at Organa’s.  Rescues, strays, rebels without causes.” Poe chewed his lip, eyeing Finn speculatively. _You don’t kiss the **rescues.** But rebels without causes? Who doesn’t want to kiss a rebel?_


	27. Reunion - Rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending of Part 4: Independence Day, has a little epilogue where Poe sends Finn provocative pictures, then shows up at his door in Davis. Back then, I wasn't writing smut, but now I am, so I thought I'd go back and quickly write their reunion.
> 
> Also, Starmaple was like "How do they have a reunion on the twin bed that's typical for dorm housing?"
> 
> To which I replied, "Why use the bed?" ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italicized bit at the beginning is the epilogue; the normal text after that picks up from there.

_Finn highlighted another court case title, adding it to a list of cases to look up, before leaning back in his chair and rubbing his neck to relieve the stiffness there.  His UC-Davis on-campus grad student housing was simple, and the chair provided was less than comfortable, but at least it was quiet.  He pulled out his phone to check for texts, and of course there was one waiting from Poe.  He smiled._

_**Poe:** I have a reward waiting for you when you’re done studying today._

_Finn idly patted the gray stuffed cat that held a position of importance on his study desk._

_**Finn:** Gimme._

_**Poe:** Are you done?_

_**Finn:** *sigh* Not quite.  Still need to do some more research._

_**Poe:** Well here’s some motivation to get done._

_Finn opened the picture, a selfie of Poe grinning, angled in a way that Finn could tell Poe had no shirt on.  Finn actually ran his fingers over the phone screen, sighing.  With his transfer to UC-Davis, they now lived only an 8 hour drive away from each other, but Poe had been tied up in winter preparation for the farm and hadn’t had a chance to visit since dropping Finn off in August._

_**Finn:** Dammit, Poe._

_**Poe:** Get back to work, babe. ;)_

_**Finn:** Dammit, Poe._

_He smirked, then sighed, and pulled the book back front and center again. He was so focused, he didn’t look up for another hour, bleary eyed.  Another text from Poe had come in._

_**Poe:** Okay, so I got impatient._

_The picture attached nearly made Finn drop his phone.  He could tell it was the small bathroom at the cottage, Poe having to use the mirror to get a full body shot because in the picture, he was wearing nothing except his cowboy hat held teasingly over his crotch._

_Finn was about to tap back a reply when a knock sounded at the door.  He slipped his phone into his pocket, shaking his head, hoping to get rid of whomever this was quickly so he could get back to Poe, when he was opening the door, and there Poe stood, in the flesh.  Finn realized Poe had been sending him selfies all day to mask his surprise._

_“I got really impatient,” Poe said, and swept Finn into his arms for a kiss._

_Finn was laughing with happiness, eyes bright.  “You have perfect timing.  I just got your text. But, uh, I’m not sure if I completely got the whole picture.  Maybe we should recreate it?”  Finn pulled Poe’s cowboy hat off to place it on his own head._

_Poe’s eyes warmed considerably. “ Absolutely we need to recreate it,” he growled, and closed the door behind them._

Finn pushed Poe into the door as soon as it was closed, already pulling Poe's shirt from his jeans and working on the buttons. He sighed mournfully when he gained access to Poe's chest, molding his hands over the defined pecs. “Skype has  _ nothing _ on the real you, Poe Dameron.” He grabbed Poe’s jacket collar in his fists and crushed their mouths together, the little sounds Poe was making in his throat driving him positively insane. “Sexting, really not your format either, though the pictures were definitely appreciated,” he continued, already panting.  


“Hey, I try.” Poe's eyes burned into his. “You look really fucking good in my hat.”

“You look really fucking good. Period.” Finn moaned when Poe dipped back in, sucking onto his neck in a way that would definitely be leaving a mark, and Finn didn't give a damn. Not when he'd spent the last four months with only his own fingers, only his own touch. 

He slipped a hand down to Poe’s jeans. “These are downright sinful on you. How am I going to get any work done when I come and live in the farm with you?”

“Yeah, well, don't spend too long admiring them. Wouldn't want you to have to wait for your surprise.”

“Mmmm, you got a surprise for me, baby?” Finn worked the fly, surprised to see Poe wasn't going commando. Still, it took just a little bit of fumbling with the black briefs, and, ah, god, did the black briefs look good against Poe’s bronze skin, and Finn was stroking Poe’s cock. “My favorite surprise.”

Poe lifted his head from Finn’s neck with a groan, pumping his hips toward Finn’s hand. “Oh, fuck, that feels so much better than my own hand.”

Finn grinned. “I was thinking the same thing.” He continued to jack Poe, watching the older man’s eyes glaze over with pleasure. There was a power in this that Finn liked, he decided.

“That’s-fuck-that’s not the surprise though.” Poe guided Finn’s hand lower, between his legs, to his hole, and Finn gasped when he felt lube there. He dipped a finger into Poe’s hold easily, then slid another in, as he gaped at Poe.

Poe thrust his hips against Finn’s fingers. “Yeah,” he said to the question in Finn’s eyes. “Couldn’t wait. Wanted to be ready.”

“Where?”

Poe grinned. “Truck stop bathroom.”

“Fuck. Fuck, that’s so dirty.” The thought of Poe, bending himself over in the stall, getting ready for him, maybe letting out a moan or two as he imagined this moment -  _ fuck. _ Finn thrust a third finger inside, scissoring and pumping as his free hand fumbled with his own fly. “Help,” he implored, and then Poe was there, shaking hands helping, and between the two of them, they released Finn’s cock. Poe dug into his pocket and tossed a lube packet at Finn, who tore it open eagerly with his teeth, gritting them with Poe helped him spread lube all over his hard cock. And then, sweet bliss, as he eased Poe’s legs apart and pushed inside, Poe vising down around him, his insides velvety warm and soft.

“Hngh,” Poe groaned, wrapping his arms around Finn as Finn lifted him against the door and wrapped his legs around Finn’s waist. “God, you’re so fucking sexy.” Something like possession flashed through his eyes as he took in Finn’s determined face, Finn still wearing the cowboy hat. “I want to see you in my hat and nothing else.”

Finn groaned, leaning in for a kiss that knocked the hat back, almost off, but Poe caught it and righted it. “Let me just tell you, Poe, the pictures of you in your hat and nothing else were  _ very _ inspiring.”

Poe moaned, angling his head in to suck at Finn’s neck again, since kissing would push the hat off. Finn grunted, thrusting in, pushing harder, further.

“Baby, you close?” Finn whispered frantically, his orgasm already starting to send pleasure through his lower back, biting down on his lip, trying to hold back.

Poe nodding, mumbling assent against his neck as he reached down to stroke his own cock. His hips bucked against Finn, and Finn lost it, couldn’t hold back anymore, thrusting then stilling inside Poe, shouting out his orgasm. Poe’s strokes increased speed, his cowboy boots digging into Finn’s ass, and then he was clenching down around Finn’s still pumping dick, his cock shooting cum between them.

They stayed there for a moment, panting, coming down from the high, letting their heart beats slow. The hat got knocked off, then, as Finn took Poe’s mouth sweetly, tenderly, the animalistic lust replaced with the love that was always there for them.

Eventually, Finn eased out of Poe and slowly dropped his legs back to the ground. Another kiss, then he pulled away, in search of his baby wipes to clean them up. His breath caught in his throat, though, when he returned. Poe was still leaning against his door, looking absolutely spent and punch-drunk in his post-orgasm state of happiness. His pants and boxers hung below his hips, shoved just far enough to grant Finn access, and now hanging tantalizingly, showing off his resting dick and the V leading over his hip bones. The rest of his legs were still clad in jeans, and he still had his boots on, but his plaid button-down was hanging open, his sheepskin jacket barely clinging to his shoulders, and his own cum was still shiny on his abs. He looked up at Finn through half-lidded eyes, laden with pleasure.

“Fuck, Poe. You look- … Fuck.” The grin that lit his face and added those fucking eye crinkles tugged at Finn’s heart even more. “If I took a picture of you right now, you’d give all those porn models on tumblr a run for their money.”

Though his teeth flashed, Poe shook his head. “Nope. I do not consent. I only want one person seeing me like this.”

Finn stepped closer, lovingly wiping away the cum on Poe’s stomach and the lube/cum combination leaking out of his hole. “Good. I don’t want anyone else to see you like this either.” He leaned in for another kiss, then sighed at Poe’s droopy eyes. Grad housing came with a twin-sized bed, and that was it. “You can have the bed, baby. You’re the one that drove all day.”

Poe’s eyes perked back up, and he brightened, reaching into his pocket, taking out a Motel 6 key card. “Or…” He grinned when Finn squealed.

“Queen bed?”

“Queen bed.”

Finn squealed again, hugging Poe tight. “Ahhhhh, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Hey, who said you’re invited?” Poe laughed when Finn just stuck his tongue out at him.

“Let me just get the stuff I need to study. Are we going to be gone the whole weekend?” Finn tossed the baby wipes away, righting his clothing, then flitted around the room in a flurry of excitement. 

He laughed when Poe caught him from behind, nuzzling into his neck again. “Whatever you want. Snap and Leia are handling farm business, so I can drive back Monday.”

“God, I love you.” Finn rubbed the arms holding him, then gave Poe a quick kiss on the cheek and broke away, gathering his things again.

Poe grinned as he tucked his button up back into his jeans. “I missed you.” The quiet sincerity warmed Finn right down to his toes. Hiking his book bag over his shoulder, and handing Poe his backpack of clothing, he reached out for Poe’s hand.

“I missed you, too.” He gave him one last quiet kiss before they closed and locked his door, and made their way to Poe’s truck.


	28. You're sick for the holidays so I decorated your hospital room - rated G

Finn hadn’t been feeling great when he’d left for the law office holiday party. When Poe had placed a kiss on his brow before he’d walked out the door, he’d frowned in concern, then peered at Finn’s face. “You feel a little feverish,” Poe muttered, obviously worried about whatever he was seeing on Finn’s face.

“‘M fine. Just a winter cold coming on, I’m sure. I’m just going to head to town, drop off the gift for my boss, schmooze a little, and be home in time for story time. Promise.” Poe and Finn had agreed to take on Luis and Sofia for Elisa and Snap’s date night before Finn’s law firm had scheduled their holiday party, so Poe was going to be stuck at home with four kids under the age of 10.

Poe frowned harder. “Be careful, okay? It’s going to get slick once it gets dark.”

Finn wrapped his arms around his husband’s waist and snuggled in, feeling like he could just fall asleep right there, standing, against Poe’s chest, if he didn’t have to leave. “I’ll text when I leave. Wish you were coming with. Love you.” Poe had given him another kiss, settling it in his hair this time, and it made Finn seriously consider staying, especially when a wave of nausea hit him as he pulled out of the driveway.

He was in the middle of a conversation with his boss when the nausea hit again, an intense pain in his stomach accompanying it. He winced, not able to help himself from doubling over, dropping the glass of water in his hand.

“Finn?” He felt his assistant Nancy’s hand on his back as he collapsed. “Finn! Someone call 911!”

Finn stayed hunched in a ball, cowering over his stomach, feeling the most intense pain in his life. “Poe,” he mumbled. 

—————————-

He’d just finished feeding all four kids - Meghan had met up with old high school friends for dinner and a movie - when he got the call from Nancy, explaining that Finn was on his way to the hospital. For ten seconds, Poe allowed himself to freeze and panic, and then he sprang into action. He sent a quick text off to Meghan to let her know where he was, then called in reinforcements in the form of Leia and Anne.  

Dealing with everything meant that by the time he’d reached the Salem hospital, Finn was already in emergency surgery - an appendectomy - and Poe was left alone. His brain couldn’t help reliving the other time he’d sat through Finn’s emergency surgery. His stomach roiled.

“Dad! Dad,” Meghan repeated, sitting down in the chair next to him and immediately wrapping Poe into a hug.

Poe returned it, pressing a kiss into her hair. “He’s going to be okay. His appendix ruptured. He’s in surgery now. He’s going to be okay, though.”

“Okay,” Meghan murmured, pulling back and wiping at her eyes.

“He’s going to be stuck here for a couple of days, though,” Poe said, letting the implications sink in.

“So…he’s going to miss Christmas.”

“Yeah, but he’ll be okay.”

Meghan gave him a watery smile. “Yeah, he’s going to be okay, Dad.” She rubbed his hand. “He’s going to be okay, even if you go home for a bit, take a rest.”

Poe shook his head swiftly. “I need to be here when he wakes up. I’m always here when he wakes up.” It wasn’t a rational statement, but his mind didn’t want to work rationally right now. He tugged a hand through his curls. “I- I’m sorry. But-”

“But you have to. I get it.” Meghan shoved her own hair behind her ear. “How can I help?”

Poe wrapped his arms around her again. “Go help Leia and Anne. I’ll keep you guys posted. As soon as he’s allowed visitors, I know he’s going to want to see Caleb and Amelia.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” She kissed him on the cheek and walked out

They let him in, finally, when Finn was still groggy in recovery.

“Hey, baby,” Poe whispered, when Finn’s eyes were still fluttering open.

“You’re hot,” Finn replied, sounding drunk, and Poe laughed.

“Thanks. The doctor said you can have some ice chips.”

“Are you my nurse? You’re hot.” It almost sounded like an accusation, as Finn’s brows drew together, and Poe had to laugh again.

“No, babe, I’m-”

“What’re ya doing later?” Finn attempted a wink, but both eyes closed.

God, I should be recording this. All of the worry, all of the anxiety fell away. “Going home with you, I hope.”

Finn’s eyes widened. “Yeah?” Then they narrowed again, and he frowned at Poe. More specifically, at the golden ring on Poe’s left hand. “You’re married,” he said accusatorily.

Poe hid his smile with his hand. “Yeah, I’m married. To you, you dork.”

The grin that broke across Finn’s face could only be described as a slice of sunshine. “Really?”

Poe sat on the side of his bed, cupping Finn’s cheek and leaning down to brush his lips across Finn’s. “For like, six and a half years at this point, yeah.”

Finn looked delighted. “Wow.”

Poe snortd, kissing Finn again, because he could. “I think that every day when I wake up next to you.”

“Wow,” Finn said again in the same affected voice. “I kind of want to sleep now.”

“Go for it, baby.”

——————-

The first thing Finn saw when he woke was Poe, which made sense. Then he saw Meghan, Caleb, and Amelia, and in a rush, what had happened at the holiday party came back to him. “Hey,” he mumbled, his voice hoarse. As that started a commotion, he looked around his bed area. Someone - Finn had a pretty good idea who - had brought him in a little Christmas tree, potted, complete with some of his favorite ornaments from home. There was a paper garland taped to the foot of his bed, too. As Poe organized the chaos, Finn grinned, then held out his arms. Caleb and Amelia broke away and launched themselves at him, and Finn winced, but hugged them tight.

“Thank you guys,” he whispered over their heads, and Poe and Meghan smiled back at him.

Poe took his hand. “They think they might let you out tonight, actually, but Amelia and Caleb didn’t want you to miss Christmas, just in case.”

Finn placed kisses on Amelia and Caleb’s heads. “I love it.”


	29. New Additions - rated M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some vignettes around Misael and Angelina's first week at the Farm, from varying POVs.
> 
> Content warning: further discussion of underage sexual abuse/assault, though not in detail, but mentioned. Discussion of STIs.

“Dr. Cohen? Didn't I see you leave five hours ago?”

The word “family emergency” left his lips before he could stop it, even as he handed Talia the paperwork for the rape and STD tests for Misael. 

Her eyes went wide as she read what he'd handed her. “Oh, shit, I'm sorry, Eli.”

Eli nodded in appreciation. “We’re dealing with it,” he murmured. “Can you put a rush on them? Use my name?” Sometimes...sometimes the nepotism and bureaucracy that Eli wanted to bang his head against could be useful. He’d built a good reputation here.

“Sure, Dr. Cohen.”

He nodded again, then went by his locker to toss his coat in, and walked numbly out of the hospital. It wasn’t the first time he’d performed an abuse exam on a minor, and it wouldn’t be the last, but this one wore on him. 

They didn’t live far from the hospital, which was nice, but he could have used more time to process with a longer commute home, he supposed, as he sat in the driveway, car off, watching the raindrops hit the sedan’s windshield and merge, until the whole glass was wet.

He sat there for awhile, for too long, he realized, when he saw the curtains flutter. Gearing himself up to rehash what he could, he walked inside.

Amelia immediately enveloped him in her arms, because of course she would, and Eli admonished himself for avoiding this. This was better. This was better than sitting in the car. He wrapped his arms around her, too, and they rocked together in the foyer. He placed a kiss next to her messy black bun. 

“Caleb and the dads have been texting me details when they could,” she murmured, looking up at him, eyes sincere.

“It-it’s bad. A bad situation. Awful. Fucking awful.”

Her eyes widened a little at the swear - he didn’t often swear aloud, it was true - but she just squeezed him tighter. “Then we’ll do whatever we can to support them,” she said determinedly.

“Yeah,” Eli replied on a kind of choking laugh. “Yeah, of course we will, honey.” Reluctantly, he left her arms, sat on the stairs to the second floor, rubbed his face. Wasn’t surprised when Amelia scooted right up next to him, draping an arm around his waist. 

She leaned over, nuzzling their noses together. “You okay?”

He took her hand, massaged over the fingers. From his position, he could see the family photo they’d just taken, already assigned a place of importance on their wall, their first with the twins. All five of them, holding hands, walking through a field of green grass and orange and red fallen leaves. He was looking down at Amelia, at the kids, his smile wide and happy. Little Alex was in between the twins, and Amelia at the end, so they acted like bookends, rounding out their small family, Eli had thought the first time he’d seen the picture. Now he realized that he and Amelia looked more like sentinels, like protectors against the cruel world.

“I looked at that boy tonight, and I don’t know his circumstances, really. I don’t know if his parents are dead, or just left, or what. But I can’t help but look at this kid and see Alex lying there. Or Violet, or Michael. Just. Shit.”

Amelia slipped her arms around him again. “I can’t say it’s not going to happen to our babies. I’m not putting  _ that _ out there in the universe. But we’ll do everything we can to make sure it doesn’t, to make sure that we protect  _ all _ the kids in our life. And if we fail… then we’ll do whatever we can to support them.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Eli started to rub his cheek against Amelia’s, then realized it was scratchy with stubble. “Sorry,” he murmured, and she scoffed, bringing his head back for a brief kiss. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you back.” She watched him play with her wedding ring, the one that had been passed through the generations of Cohens, down to her, that made her a little weepy when she thought about it too much, which always touched Eli. “Let’s go to bed.”

Eli nodded, standing, hand still in hers as they walked up the stairs. “Hey, um, do you think we could loan Caleb and Malik all the foster parenting materials we got, since we’re probably done?” he whispered as they walked by the kids’ rooms. 

“Way ahead of you,” Amelia whispered back with a smile, pointing to the stack on the dresser. “I’ll give them a few days, then maybe text with a ‘hey, just so you know, we have all the stuff you need to become parents’ - no, that sounds too scary, huh? Hmm. I’ll think about it. Better yet, I’ll enlist Meghan. We’ll figure it out.”

Eli smiled as he slipped under the covers, then pulled Amelia to him. “You Smith-Damerons always do.”

\---------------------------

Finn closed their bedroom door quietly, and made his way downstairs to Poe, who was cleaning the kitchen; they’d had to leave dinner rather abruptly after Caleb’s call. He leaned against the counter with one hip, watching Poe groan as he bent over to get dishes out of the dishwasher. “Leave it ‘til tomorrow, honey. We should be in bed.”

Poe picked up one last bowl and put it away, then nodded. “Yeah. Are they asleep?”

Finn opened his arms, and Poe stepped into them, and they rocked there. “Yeah. Angelina, um, climbed in with Misael, I guess. They fell asleep holding hands. Shit.” Finn lifted a hand from Poe’s waist and wiped at his eye. 

Poe gently replaced Finn’s hand with his own, then brushed Finn’s tears from his cheek. “Yeah. Shit. Are you having second thoughts about this?”

Finn considered, then shook his head. “No. No, I want to help them, of course. You?”

“No. Did you see Angelina’s face when Malik told he’d be back for family dinner on Friday?” Poe gave a small, tired smile. “It feels kind of like we’re just doing an extended babysitting gig for our children.”

Finn smiled back. “Which means we get to spoil them like grandparents do, right?”

Poe laughed for the first time in hours. “You won’t see me protesting. So shopping tomorrow? Or later today, I guess,” he said with a wince, looking at the microwave clock. He sobered. “Monday, we need to set up therapy for both of them, and get in touch with Eli about next steps with Misael and when we can expect test results.”

“We can give them a tour of the farm, too. Sunday’s a good day for that, with less people around.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

“That’s why they pay me the big bucks.”

“Honey, you’re an immigration lawyer who works on a sliding scale. Who pays you the big bucks?”

Finn reached around, a twinkle in his eye, and grabbed two handfuls of Poe Dameron’s still-superior, even if a little wrinkly, ass. “You do, honey. If you expand the definition of ‘bucks’ a little. You’re certainly big.”

Poe chuckled, then laughed outright. “Thank you, I needed that.”

Finn winked as they walked toward the stairs together to head to bed. “Anytime.”

\---------------------

Caleb forced himself to close the tab on HIV statistics amongst gay Latino youth, feeling a little sick to his stomach. A lot sick to his stomach. Not the best place to be right before practice. They didn’t even know yet, so he needed to stop looking up worst case scenarios, he told himself. His dads were expecting the call with results any day now. They’d figure out what would happen after that.

There was a soft knock on his classroom door, and he looked up to see Misael standing there, looking small. “Hey, buddy. What’s up?”

“Hey Coach. Um. I was wondering if I could come work out with the Cross Country team?” Misael looked down at his shoes, fingers digging into the strap of his backpack.

Caleb chewed on his lip. Technically, he needed to say no to Misael. He hadn’t paid the fall sports fee, obviously, or had an updated physical. 

“I miss running.”

Caleb took another look at Misael’s face, noticing the creases of worry and stress. “Man, I get that. Nothing quite like running until your problems don’t seem as big anymore, huh?”

Misael’s face broke into a little smile. “Yeah.” He moved the backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it, showing Caleb the contents. Sitting at the top were a brand new pair of running shoes. “Finn and Poe took us shopping. They kept insisting-”

“Yeah, I bet they did, knowing my dads. Well, I guess you have to break ‘em in sometime, huh?” Caleb leaned over to grab his own duffel bag, then walked out with Misael. “Does Finn know you’re staying late? I can drop you back off at the farm.”

“Yeah, I told him I was coming to ask you, and that you’d text him either way. I don’t have a phone,” Misael muttered, embarrassed.

_ Yeah, I bet that situation won’t last long. _ He pulled out his own and shot the text off to his dad. “Remind me when I drop you off, and I’ll show you the route I always used on the farm. It’s mostly trail, the roads are dangerous out there, all narrow, no sidewalks, lots of farm trucks. But I had a pretty good system worked out.”

Misael smiled at him gratefully. “Thanks, yeah. I’d love that.”

\-------------------

Misael’s heart was pounding, and not in the good way it had pounded after he’d finish practice with the team.

Because he recognized the car in the driveway at Finn and Poe’s place, from last Saturday. That was the doctor’s car.  _ Dr. Eli _ , Misael remembered. Coach’s brother-in-law. He’d been nice. Gentle. But if it was good news, why was he here in person? 

His gaze slid across to Coach, who was frowning, probably going through the same thought process he was.

“Misael, if you don’t want me to come in-”

But Misael was already shaking his head. “No. Please. Please, will you come in with me?” He hated how quiet his voice was, and he straightened his shoulders instead. He’d done what he needed to do to help Angelina survive. He’d pay whatever price for that, he would. He’d do it all over again, although he was privately really happy he didn’t have to. But he’d kept Angelina safe, and if there was a consequence, well. He opened the car door, shouldering his backpack. Well, he’d pay it gladly. 

Angelina must have heard the door, because she was already running to hug Misael, and then Coach, before Coach had even finished closing it. Misael hugged her tight, then held her hand as they walked back to the living room, where Finn, Poe, and Dr. Eli were talking. Spotting them, Poe pressed a kiss to Finn’s lips, patting his knee as he stood. 

“Hey, Angelina, I was just going to help Meghan and Riya feed the chickens. Want to come?” Poe asked, holding out his hand.  


Angelina’s eyes lit up, and she involuntarily squeezed Misael’s hand, then hesitated, looking up at him.

“<It’s okay, Angel, you can go. I’ll be here,>” Misael murmured in Spanish, promise clear in his voice, and she nodded back at him.

“Don’t forget a coat, and boots,” Finn called, as Poe and Angelina headed out the door. He patted the seat next to him, and Misael sat, then curled up into the corner of the couch, arms around his legs. Coach came and sat by Dr. Eli, across from them. 

“Well, I think I should just come out and say it. It’s not bad news, Misael. You have Chlamydia, and it’s very treatable.”

Beside him, Finn let out a little breath, then looked over at Misael, smiled at him, patted the cushion beside him in acknowledgement. Finn was really good about not touching Misael if he didn’t want to be touched. 

“What’s the treatment plan?” Coach asked, his face drawn, and Misael couldn’t decide what emotion was hidden there exactly, but it seemed like anger, which made Misael want to curl into himself further.

Dr. Eli handed a prescription paper over to Finn. “Seven days of heavy antibiotics. Nothing too bad. Just, Misael, make sure you watch out for an allergic reaction, since you’re not sure if you’re allergic to any medications.”

Misael nodded.

“It’s standard to run another test in three months, just to make sure it’s completely eradicated from your system, so I can see you for that, or, if you want to take him to your GP, Finn, that’s fine, too. I can transfer all his files easily. Oh, and you should refrain from any, uh. Sexual activity. While you’re on the antibiotics.”

Misael colored, but nodded his understanding. “Will, uh,  _ he _ be getting treatment?” At Misael’s quiet question, Caleb clenched and unclenched his hand, and that action made Coach's mood clearer for Misael. Not mad at him, then. Mad at the others.

“Yes, I’ll be informing the police officer in charge of the investigation. It will strengthen their case against him, and the other men on your list.” Dr. Eli’s voice was quiet, almost tender. Fatherly, Misael decided. “If there’s anyone else, any other partners you’ve had, you should-”

Misael shook his head violently. “No. No. Just them. Just for the deal. I haven’t even had a boyfriend.”

“Okay. That’s fine.”

They sat in silence for a minute, before Misael caught Finn’s eye, and Finn nodded, letting Misael escape the room of adults, where he thought the concern and caring and pity in everyone’s eyes might choke him. He heard Finn ask Dr. Eli about the twins - he’d heard a lot about the grandkids so far, but had only met Riya - as he jogged up the stairs with his backpack.

He was two problems into his math homework, which he’d pulled out to distract himself, when Coach knocked on his door jamb. “Just wanted to let you know I’m headed out. But I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” Misael hesitated, and Coach turned to go. “You don’t- you don’t think I’m dirty, do you?”

Coach paused, turning back, slowly shaking his head. “No. Lots of people get STIs. They’re not ‘dirty’ because of it.”

Misael tapped his pencil on his desk. “I don’t feel...dirty. About what I did. Is that...shouldn’t I? It was illegal.”

Coach leaned against the door jamb and sighed. “I think it’s a good thing that you don’t feel dirty. I wish I had a brilliant answer for the other bit. Have you talked to your therapist about it?”

“My first appointment is tomorrow.”

“Oh. Well-”

“No, it’s okay. I can ask her."

Coach nodded, pursing his lips. “If anyone does make you feel dirty about this- you tell me or Mr. Ford, okay? When the trial starts, some of the kids at school are bound to find out.”

“Yeah.” The thought had Misael’s stomach twisting into knots as Coach crossed his arms and walked to the window. 

“This was my room, you know.”

“Really?”

Coach turned back and smiled. “Yeah, my sister Amelia and I - you haven’t met her yet, but Eli’s wife? - we used to share it, just like you and Angelina are. Up until that became too awkward as teenagers.” Coach laughed, and Misael joined him, warmth blooming in his chest.

“Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. Angelina and I have always shared a room, but-”

“Yeah,” Coach said with a snort, then sobered a little. “Hey, if Mr. Ford and I went through the process, to become foster parents, would you want to come live with us? With Angelina, of course.”

Misael chewed his lip, longing filling him. “Aren’t you guys, like, newlyweds? Why would you want to take on two old kids?”

Coach rubbed his chin in contemplation. “Well, for starters, no diapers to take care of,” he replied, ticking a finger up, and Misael laughed. “Two, we could keep you and Angelina together. Three, we could help get you going on whatever path you want to take after high school. Four, no diapers. I just keep coming back to that, after being an uncle these last 4 years.”

“You’d do that? Keep us together?”

“Yeah. I mean. It takes awhile, to become a foster parent, and then to actually get through adoption, another while. Mr. Ford and I would have to start right away if we wanted to adopt you before you turned eighteen.”

“It seems like a lot of work,” Misael mumbled.

“It’s worth it,” Coach replied softly.

Misael swallowed, then nodded. “Angelina won’t stop talking about Mal- Mr. Ford.”

Coach smiled. “I’m sure he’d be fine with you calling him Malik outside of school. Just like you can call me Caleb, if you want.”

Misael wrinkled his nose. “That’s too weird, Coach.”

“Okay,” Coach said with a laugh. “Fair enough. Call us what you like.” He peered over Misael’s shoulder, to his homework. “Side benefit of this plan, you’ll have built in math and history help.”

Misael smiled, then shook his head. “I’m going to need it, to dig myself out of this hole.”

“You can do it. I believe in you.”

“That’s what you told me last year right before State.”

Coach shrugged, smiling ruefully. “Doesn’t make it any less true now.”

They shared a grin.

\-----------------------------

Malik sat down in the driver’s seat with a sigh, then reached out a hand blindly, knowing Caleb would catch it. He did, of course, and brushed a kiss across Malik’s knuckles, to boot. 

“You doing okay, baby?”

Malik pulled Caleb’s knuckles over for a kiss, before starting the car. “Yeah. I never thought I’d fall in love with a nine year old girl, though.”

Caleb chuckled, settling into the passenger seat. They’d just spent their first Family Friday with Misael and Angelina there. Angelina had been really shy at first, sticking to Malik’s side, until Malik had introduced her to Amelia, who, activities director she was, immediately came up with a game that was age appropriate for both Angelina and Violet and Michael, the oldest kids, with Riya and Alex tagging along, trying to fit in as well. It had been fun to watch.

“She is freaking adorable, this is true. And good lord, she’s got legs. Hope I can convince her to be a runner, she might even be better than Misael.  _ Don’t _ tell Misael I said that, though.”

“Oh, I see how it is, you just want to use fostering to build the best track team.”

“Like you weren’t quizzing her on her multiplication table tonight over dinner, babe. I saw you. Already have a Mathlete blazer picked out for her, don’t you?”

Malik laughed. “Guilty.” 


	30. Manhandled - E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a spot in The Proposal (part 7) with a fade-to-black smut scene in which I heavily implied some light Dom/sub play. This is before they get to more 'formal' Dom/sub stuff during the Birthdays fic (the actual smut scene of which is an earlier chapter of this fic).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics at the beginning are from the original fic.

_ “I hope the experience actually lives up to the hype.” Poe sounded worried, and Finn turned to face him, hoping to do some of his own soothing now. His hands swept down Poe’s spine and it was Poe’s turn to shiver. _

_“It'll be perfect, because the first one was already perfect.” He felt that Poe was still tense. Finn knew exactly how to make him feel better.  “I guess you've been doing all of this secret planning recently, maybe you need to have someone else take control.” It was Poe’s deepest, most secret desire, they had both discovered long ago. A strong man who had had to be in tight control of his emotions most of his life, either as the son of immigrants, or the military recruit, or the competent farm manager.  As they had explored each other, they had uncovered Poe’s love of being manhandled, dominated. Finn had also discovered that it was no hardship to give Poe what he needed._

_ “Yes,  please , Finn,” Poe said with a sigh of contentment. _

_Finn grabbed Poe's wrists and rolled, straddling the farmer and pinning his arms over_ _his head._

 

“Hold onto the bars for me,” Finn commanded, pleased when Poe took his direction, wrapping his hands around two of the bars of their headboard. “Good. If we do anything you don’t like, you tell me.” He waited until Poe nodded, then traced down Poe’s stretched arms until he got to Poe’s chest, all the way down so he could pull Poe’s button up out of his jeans. “Have I ever told you how hot all this cowboy gear looks on you?”

“No- no.” Poe sucked in a breath on a hiss when Finn nipped into his exposed stomach.

“Well, it is  _ a look _ , Poe Dameron, and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of it.” He popped the button of Poe’s jeans and began to slide the material over his hips, taking his boxers with them. “Course, this is a look too.” Finn nuzzled at Poe’s leaking, straining cock as Poe squeezed his hands more tightly around the bars. “All bronze skin, and brown curls, and hardness, just for me.”

Poe moaned and tipped his hips up, trying to get his cock closer to Finn’s lips. 

“Uh uh, hun. You forgot who’s in charge.” Poe whimpered when Finn bypassed his cock, leaving it aching, while he pulled off Poe’s jeans entirely. Slowly, he worked his way up from Poe’s cute bare feet, up his calves, to the thighs that rode so well. Rode BB. Rode Finn. Poe was a superior sportsman in that regard. He nibbled along the sensitive skin at the inside of Poe’s thigh, making Poe quiver and twitch, his cock bobbing all the while. “You’re being so good for me, Poe,” Finn murmured. 

“Thank you,” Poe murmured, then whimpered when Finn moved away, off the bed. Quickly, Finn shed his own jeans and tee, then grabbed the lube from the bedside table. When he turned back to Poe, Poe was still laying, arms stretched out above him, cock erect and glistening, button up unbuttoned and splayed open, showing off his chest and stomach. 

“Beautiful,” Finn whispered, before climbing back in and kneeling between Poe’s outstretched knees. 

“Finn, my cock-”

“Your cock will get what’s coming to it,” Finn promised. “My cock gets it first, though.” He smiled as Poe shivered at that.

He warmed the lube in his hand and coated his finger, spreading Poe’s legs so he had access to everything. He moved in close, pressing a kiss to Poe’s inner thigh before beginning to circle Poe’s rim, grinning when Poe’s legs twitched involuntarily. The finger slipped in easily, even though they hadn’t had sex for several days, with Finn trying to get over his cold and feeling gross. The second finger had Poe moaning, and Finn kept him at that level for a bit, sweeping around to find his prostate, teasing at his rim, watching precum leak from his cock but never, ever getting close to it. 

When Finn got Poe like this, sometimes he lost himself in it. Lost himself in bringing Poe pleasure, drawing it out, watching Poe’s reaction for each sweep of his fingers. Eyes squeezed shut with pleasure, hips rocking against his fingers, cock bobbing, arms straining to remain where Finn had told him to keep them. Every inch of Poe in the throes of passion was positively beautiful. 

“Please, Finn,” Poe begged, voice wrecked, head thrown to the side.

“Please what, baby?” 

“More, please, god, fuck me, please, more-” Poe’s breath hitched when Finn added a third finger.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” Finn pulled his fingers out and lined himself up at Poe’s hole, both of them groaning when he pushed inside slowly and bottomed out. His hips snapped back, then thrust up, and Poe rose to meet him. Finn reached down to pull Poe’s legs up around him, then leaned in, swallowing Poe’s cries as their lips met. “So good. So good. So good,” Finn panted in his ear, nosing his shirt aside to suck a bruise on his collarbone. 

“Ohhhhh, gahhhhhhdddd Finn,” Poe cried on a whine, his whole face scrunched up as Finn chased his orgasm. “Please come so I can come.”

Finn managed a chuckle, somehow, even as he felt how hard, how wet Poe was between them. The idea that Poe was holding back, just because Finn had said so, clicked something over in Finn’s brain, and then he was shouting into Poe’s neck as he spilled inside Poe. He managed to reach down with one hand, growling “Come for me,” and got halfway through one stroke before Poe was coming all over his fist. “Oh fuck Jesus,” he groaned, and collapsed on top of Poe. 

Finn grunted as he slipped out of Poe and moved to the side, finding Poe’s hand and unhooking them gently from the bars, then massaging each arm as he brought it down. When he was done, he held Poe tight, feeling the tiredness from his cold catch up with him. He hummed a little as he grabbed baby wipes to clean them up, and Poe grunted too, helping him, before they settled down into the bed again.

“I am thinking...another nap,” Finn murmured, his eyes already closing.

“Told Snap I’d be right back. But he’s good. Whatever,” Poe mumbled against his skin. Finn smiled even as he fell back asleep.


	31. Valentine's Tradition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meghan and Amelia have a Valentine's Tradition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few days (week) late, obviously, but have some OOs Valentine’s Fluff - of the non-romantic relationship variety. <3 <3

Amelia looked out her kitchen window again, biting her lip at the unseasonal snow. Unseasonal for the Willamette Valley anyway, to be getting snow as late as early February. She glanced down at her phone, but no text indicating Meghan was canceling on her. Of course she’d understand if she wouldn’t want to drag Riya and Angelina all the way out here, but- but.

Meghan and Amelia had a tradition, you see, and it would break Amelia’s heart if they were forced to break it.

Hands slid around her waist, and she glanced up at Eli. “Hi, honey.”

He kissed the crown of her head. “No news?”

Amelia sighed. “Just that Chris was going to plow the farm roads for them, but that doesn’t even cover all the roads between here and the farm. And people are so stupid in the snow. I don’t want them to get hurt.”

“Tell you what,” Eli murmured as he rocked her in his arms. “If Meghan has to cancel, I’ll do it with you.” Amelia snorted, and Eli pretended to look hurt. “What?’

“Baby, you can just be, um. A little precise. Today’s not about having the right formula or pattern. It’s about- it’s about sisterhood and glitter and tea and happiness.”

“Hmm. Just because I took way longer to fold our invitations than you did-”

“You had to be so precise! Oh my god, I almost called off the wedding.” She smiled up at him, winking.

He turned her in his arms and kissed her. “Okay, well, I’ll stick to my woodshop today, and it’s preciseness, and let you pass your wonderful hand with the arts and crafts down to the kids.”

She reached up to cup his face. “See, now you’re talking sensibly.” She rested her cheek against his chest, feeling him stroke over her ponytail. “Thanks, though, Eli. Seriously. I love you.”

“Love you, too,” Eli murmured.

\----------------------

Amelia had been five when the tradition started. Meghan had just come to stay with them, still nursing her broken arm, and she was quiet, and liked to keep to herself a lot.

Amelia had learned about Valentine’s Day at preschool. About how it was a day with lots of pink and hearts and chocolate, but also a day that you gave Valentines to your friends, and your family, and the people you loved. Amelia had gone immediately into a tizzy of making Valentines at her desk, forgoing even play time to finish everything. In the end, she had one for Daddy-Finn, and Daddy-Poe, and Snap, and Nanalay, and Nan, and Elisa, and everyone in class, and-

She bit her lip as she knocked on Meghan’s door. Her daddies had told her that Meghan needed rest and quiet. Amelia could understand that, like when she was sick. But Meghan had told her a funny joke at dinner last night, and- and- and hope burned bright in her heart that Meghan was going to be the perfect sister Amelia had longed for, once she felt better.

She heard shuffling, then the door opened, and Amelia flushed. “Hi, um. So in class we learned about Valentines and then we made Valentines for everyone we loved so I made one for Daddy and Daddy and Snap and Leia and Anne and-” Amelia ran out of breath. “And this one is for you.”

Meghan looked down at the paper Amelia had thrust in front of her. It was a crudely cut heart, covered in enough glitter and lace that it was sagging a bit in Amelia’s hands. “You made this for me?” she whispered, touched, her eyes tearing up a bit.

“Yeah, see, it says to Meghan, right there.” Amelia tapped the Valentine, and a shower of glitter fell onto the hardwood. “Oops.”

Meghan wiped at her eyes and drew Amelia into a one-armed hug. “Ames, this is so sweet. Thank you. Thank you so much. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

 _Ames._ Amelia’s heart warmed at the nickname. A new one, not sweet pea or nugget like her daddies called her. This was one just for Meghan to use. “Happy Valentine’s Day. I love you.”  She squeezed Meghan’s knees.

Meghan let out a choked sob. “I love it. I love it, Amelia. I’m, um-” She broke away, walking back into her room, to the pinboard Finn and Poe had gotten for her. “I’m going to put it right here,” she murmured, pinning it right in the middle.

“Amelia! Time to test!” Finn called from downstairs.

“That means it’s almost dinner time,” Amelia said with a smile, turning back to the door.

“I’ll be right there. Just need to finish something up.”

When Amelia left, Meghan sat at her desk and began to draw furiously, tongue stuck between her lips. When Finn and Poe called her, she held the drawing out, then nodded, satisfied enough. She raced down the stairs, sitting by Amelia at the table.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” she murmured, passing Amelia the drawing.

Amelia’s eyes went wide. “It’s Buli! It looks just like Buli! Oh my goodness, Meghan, thank you.” She clutched the drawing to her chest and beamed up at Meghan.

Meghan couldn’t resist reaching over to fluff her hair. “I love you, Ames.”

From that year on, Meghan and Amelia had not only exchanged handmade Valentines, but Meghan had helped Amelia make them every year for everyone else, too. They’d find a Saturday in January or February and spend the whole day together, making them. The second year, Anne had learned of the little tradition and had volunteered to make it into a ladies’ tea and art day. She planned for days and made little sandwiches and cookies and completely took over the kitchen at the main house. It was a huge hit with the girls, and the next year, she started planning in November.

And so it went, the Smith-Dameron Ladies’ Tea, until Meghan went to college, and Amelia worried herself sick thinking the tradition of the last five years was going to be broken. She held it within herself, but everyone in the family kept commenting about how down she seemed. Then, one Friday afternoon, as she trudged from the bus stop home with Caleb, she’d spotted Meghan’s car in the driveway. She raced inside, and there was Meghan, setting out their Valentine supplies while she chatted with Daddy-Poe.

Amelia had rushed to her, throwing her arms around her torso and sobbing into her chest. It had taken the concentrated efforts of Poe, Meghan, and Caleb to get Amelia to confess to what had been making her so depressed lately.

The next day, Anne came over, and they had their day as usual, and the tradition was upheld.

Over the years, they’d only missed once or twice, but never more than once in a row. No one was willing to give up the day completely, even when Anne died, though the first Smith-Dameron Ladies Tea without her had been miserable. Amelia and Meghan had split Anne’s role between them, each responsible for making their favorite snacks for the day, or bringing new ones.

Amelia left Eli’s arms and checked the fridge. She’d had the day off, yesterday, and- “I might have gone a little overboard,” she murmured to Eli, looking at the plates of sandwiches and fruit and veggies and meat trays.

“I simply can’t understand why,” Eli whispered back, drawing a hand over her stomach.

Amelia blushed and looked up at him, then over at the kids. “Shhh, you.”

They weren’t telling anyone, yet. They were both still so scared after Amelia’s miscarriage, and rough pregnancy with Alex. They hadn’t even planned on having another- but life happened like that sometimes. They were scared, terrified, even, Eli had admitted the night after they’d confirmed the pregnancy with her gyno. So far, so good, but.

“If we have extra, I can take it to work on Monday,” Eli said, all nonchalance again.

Amelia was nodding when a strong knock sounded on the door, and she heard all the kids running to answer. “Let us, let us, guys. An adult. An adult needs to answer the door.” She huffed out the rule as she turned the corner to see the guilty look on their faces, but all their hands nicely down at their sides. “Thanks, guys.”

She pulled open the door, then immediately began to smile. “You made it!” She launched herself in Meghan’s arms as Riya and Angelina slipped past them and greeted the twins and Alex.

“Neither sleet nor snow could keep me from this, Ames,” Meghan said with a smile. “Plus Chris drove us in his truck and basically just scared everyone away from us.” She turned to wave at her husband in the driveway. “He’s going back to Caleb and Malik’s to hang with the boys and watch some ball game. Basketball, I think?” She shrugged, then brushed a kiss over Eli’s cheek. “He wanted to know if A) you wanted to join them and B) you wanted a lift.”

Eli looked at Amelia, and she grinned. “Well, now that you don’t have to fill in for Meghan, go for it, babe.”

Eli gave her a sweeping kiss. “Take care, I love you,” he whispered in her ear, grabbing his coat.

“Love you right back,” Amelia called, then leaned over to carry one of Meghan’s bags into the kitchen. “Shall we?” she asked, holding her arm out for Meghan.

“We shall,” Meghan replied, grinning wide and taking her arm.


	32. Caleb's new clothes - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last night I decided there wasn't enough Calik porn in the world, and dammit, I'm the only one who can solve that problem. Beautifullights suggested I write some Calik enjoying lingerie, and here's what happened. Rated E, E, and more E. But it's also Calik, so you know they're going to be sweet and domestic, too.

Malik had a million things on his list, and he tsked at himself for just leaning against the counter, enjoying his cup of coffee, for the fifteen seconds he'd allowed himself. Why he and Caleb had decided to move in together  _ during _ the school year was beyond him - except, of course, he thought with a small smile to himself, for the fact that neither of them had wanted to wait any longer.

He took a sip of coffee and stared around the kitchen. It was slowly coming into shape, although they’d mostly been surviving on pizza. They hadn’t just decided to move into one of their current apartments, no. They’d decided to rent a fucking house together, and now they were consolidating two households into one. No matter how much they’d planned, it was crazy and chaotic and a mess.

Malik was loving every second of it. 

He looked idly in a box, wondering where to start, sipping his coffee, when he paused, came across the giant bottle of lube -  _ and how the fuck did that get in a kitchen box? Oh god, what if someone else had seen it when they helped unpack -  _ and nearly did a spit take. He grabbed it, determined to put it in its place before anyone like Caleb’s parents or sisters found out that they - gasp - had sex.

When he rounded the corner for the bedroom, though, he did do a spit take. Or maybe he drooled the coffee out, he wasn’t quite sure. “Wha-”

“Hey, babe.” Caleb smiled at him, then turned to get something from the dresser. When he turned, Malik saw his full ass, surrounded by straps, and then Caleb was facing him again, and there was his dick, covered in a tight black cup. “What?” 

“What- what are you  _ wearing _ ?” Malik leaned against the doorjamb, out of breath all of a sudden.

“I was going to go for a run before we got started for the day. It’s a jock. Jockstrap. Um. I always wear them for running, it just keeps things more comfortable.”

“You mean, you were wearing that all those times I ogled you from the pool while you were running on the treadmill?”

A faint blush tinged Caleb’s cheeks. “Yeah, always.”

“My god.” Malik took the chance to ogle the long, lean lines of Caleb’s body now. “My god,” he said again, and Caleb grinned.

“You like what you see?” Caleb strode slowly toward him, taking the coffee cup from him and setting it away, then the lube, where he did a double take, grinned, and tossed it to the bed. 

“I like what I see,” Malik managed. He traced over one of Caleb’s strong shoulders. “I like it a lot.” 

Caleb took a step closer, his body sliding up against Malik’s. “Thank you.” He leaned in, nipping at Malik’s neck, careful not to leave a mark. 

Malik groaned and took what he’d been offered, one hand sliding up to grip at Caleb’s cornrows and pull him down for a kiss, the other slipping behind to Caleb’s bare ass and squeezing tight. He drank in Caleb’s groan. “You look fucking amazing in this,” he said, tone almost a growl. “I don’t know how I’m going to handle knowing this is beneath your running clothes when you go out. I don’t know how I’m supposed to resist this ass.”

“You don’t need to right now,” Caleb pointed out. “Isn’t that the point of moving in together. Instant access?” He rolled his hips into Malik’s, and Malik could feel his stiffening cock through the fabric.

“Thought you needed to go for a run?”

Caleb shrugged, kissing Malik again. “I can get my exercise another way.” He took a step back, winking, then turned, sashaying back to the bed, letting Malik catch every single muscle moving under the skin, every little jiggle of the fat Caleb carried nowhere else on his body except for - that _ass._

With another growl, Malik followed quickly and tackled Caleb to the bed. The kitchen could wait another hour.

\-------------------------------------------

A few weeks later, Caleb managed to beat Malik home. Normally he would have waited for Malik while he ran the Mathletes meeting, but he’d gotten a notification on his phone that his package had been delivered, and he hadn’t been able to wait.

It was in a discreetly marked box, which was nice, considering he was currently nodding and waving at their elderly neighbor while he held a box full of sin. Well, he hoped, anyway. Eagerly, he let himself in the house, trying not to wince at the boxes still piled in the entrance way. They were making headway, but Christ. Amelia had been so horrified when she’d brought their housewarming present that she’d immediately organized a Smith-Dameron help party for tomorrow. At this point, Caleb would take any help he could get.

Tonight, though. Tonight was for fun and relaxation.  


Caleb rushed to the bedroom, stripping quickly and showering off the day’s sweat and the morning run he’d taken. As he soaped his body, he absently stroked his cock a little, thinking of the treat waiting for him - and Malik, he hoped - in the box.

Clean and dry, Caleb tore into the package and pulled out the yellow lace jockstrap. It had a thick black waistband, a black cup, and stretchy yellow lace that strapped around his thighs. Eager, he slid it on and admired himself in the mirror. “Malik is so dead,” he said with a snicker to himself. 

He didn’t really have a plan, and when he heard the sound of the front door opening, he panicked, throwing the package away. He threw a pair of athletic shorts over the jockstrap and headed to the front of the house to find Malik. He didn’t have to wander far, as Malik was already looking for him. Caleb smiled at Malik's prim and proper outfit - Christ, he'd even worn a perfectly knotted bow tie and suit coat today. With the glasses, he reminded Caleb a little of Indiana Jones in professor mode. Kinda made Caleb want to write "love you" across his eyelids. Caleb knew Malik had dressed up for the math meeting the district held; he always liked to dress up for district brass. The lines of stress etched into his face told Caleb it hadn't been a great meeting.  


Malik dropped his grading bag to wrap his arms around Caleb. “Oh my god, that was a  _ day. _ ” 

“Welcome home, baby,” Caleb murmured, kissing at Malik’s neck and rubbing soothing circles over his back. “Drama with the Mathletes?”

“Mathletes, math department, just fucking drama, all day long.” Malik pressed closer. “Well hello there. Someone’s happy to see me.”

“Always,” Caleb promised with a smile. “I’ve got a surprise for you. Since you survived drama day. A surprise, a way to let out some of that latent energy and get relaxed. I probably could have waited for a special occasion but, hell, you’re always special to me.”

“Well, now I’m curious, and you’re not a tease, so you might as well just lay it on me.” 

"You sure? You looked wiped."

Malik nosed into Caleb's bare chest. "I'm starting to revive."

Caleb smiled a half smile and took Malik’s hand, drawing him back to the bedroom. Standing by the bed, he guided Malik’s hands to the waistband of his shorts. “Go ahead,” he whispered.

He held his breath as Malik eased the shorts off and let them pool on the ground. He looked down, and took a small intake of breath, then let it out slowly. “Baby.” 

“You like it?” Caleb chewed his lip until Malik looked back up at him, pupils already blown. 

“I like it. I like it so much, I don’t really want to see you out of it yet.”

Caleb’s eyes went wide. “Yeah?”

Malik’s look was cautious. “Would you- would you wear this around the house tonight? Just this? Your choice,” he exhaled, “but-”

“Yes,” Caleb managed. “Yes, I’ll wear it around the house for you. Although we might have to bump the heat up a little,” he added with a grin. 

“Worth it,” Malik replied. He loosened his bow tie, then twirled a finger. “Show me the whole thing.”

Caleb’s heart rate kicked up, and blood rushed to his cock, which strained against the black cup.  _ Jesus. This is going to be one hell of a night. _ He turned for Malik, letting him take in the way the black and yellow framed his thighs and left his ass bare. Grinning a little to himself, he bent at the waist, letting his legs fall open a little, and heard Malik moan.

“Christ, baby, you are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Malik’s voice was rough with want. 

It was the desire in his voice that was the true compliment for Caleb, because Malik fell somewhere on the ace spectrum, though he hadn’t decided where. For Malik, sexy was easy to point out in others. It was an objective fact in his fact-filled brain. Caleb: sexy. Donald Glover: also sexy. Donald Glover didn’t turn Malik on, though; turning Malik on, that took a special something that apparently only Caleb had. He preened and straightened. “What do you want to do?”

Malik finished undoing his bow tie and tossed it over a chair along with his suit coat. “I think I’m going to change into something a little more comfortable, too. Plus I don’t want to get these slacks dirty, pressing them is a bitch.” 

Caleb grinned, reaching up to help Malik with his dress shirt. “You make such a pretty picture like this, though.”

“Fair,” Malik replied with a smile. “But that gets a little too much into ‘naughty student/professor’ territory for my taste.” He shrugged the shirt off, let Caleb suck a mark on his skin over his heart. “Baby,” he said again, running his hand over Caleb’s braids. 

“Can’t resist. Can never resist you. Fuck.” Caleb undid Malik’s fly, helped his boyfriend step out of his slacks, watched him fold them and hang them in the closet. 

Malik slipped into cotton lounge pants and a soft t-shirt, one from a math camp he’d taken students to several years ago. He held out his hand for Caleb, and they walked together to the hallway, where Caleb bumped up the heat a bit. “Want some dinner?” Caleb asked.

Malik grinned. “Yeah, but I better cook. I don’t want you burning anything precious. Plus I doubt that thing, as beautiful as you look in it, is inflammable.”

“Point,” Caleb conceded as they rounded into the kitchen. He leaned up against the island and watched Malik go to work, crossing his arms over his chest. When Malik turned around from the fridge, he paused, letting himself take in the sight of long, lean, tall Caleb, one hip cocked against the island, chest and biceps on display. “Christ,” was all he said as he set salad fixings down on the counter. “On second thought, here, dice some veggies, so you can’t just stand there and distract me.” 

Caleb snickered but complied, starting on the red pepper while Malik got the pan going for the tilapia. “So what was the drama in the math department over?”

“Test scores,” Malik grumbled. “Admin is putting pressure on us,  _ again. _ Makes me want to jump ship over to social studies, you know.” 

“Hey, don’t come angling for my job,” Caleb murmured, setting down his knife and rubbing a comforting hand over Malik’s back as Malik poured olive oil into the pan to heat. “You do an amazing job with students. Your test scores will get there. And if they don’t, there’s not a damn thing admin can do about it, not when you’ve got kids getting fours and fives on the AP Calc exam every year. That’s your program, baby, and they’d never get rid of you.”

Malik sighed. “Yeah.” He leaned back to kiss Caleb on the cheek, and looked down to check him out again. “Christ,” he muttered once again. “I don’t know how we’re managing to be so...so domestic, with you in that thing, but I fucking love it.” 

Caleb grinned, letting his hand sweep down to goose Malik’s ass, then pulled himself back over to chopping. “I’m glad you love it. Got the idea after you saw me in my running jockstrap, you know.”

Malik hummed. “Yeah, that was a good night. This one’s shaping up to be, too, even after a crappy day. You are- you have to be the best boyfriend in the world, not that I have a lot of experience to judge.”

“I’m not going to deny it,” Caleb joked as he moved on to the cherry tomatoes, slicing them in half. 

There was a sizzle as Malik let the tilapia drop into the pan. Caleb got out plates, tossing the romaine with the veggies and splitting it in half. Task complete, he let himself lean against the island again, watching the muscular expanse of Malik’s back, watching his broad swimmer’s shoulders twitch as he worked the pan. Then again, Malik turning  _ Caleb  _ on had never been a problem. 

Malik turned, surely catching the glint in Caleb’s eye, and grinned as he slide the pieces of fish onto their plates. He carefully set the hot pan in the sink and then turned, pinning Caleb against the island, pressing into him, dragging his mouth down for a kiss before letting it break to pepper more kisses down the column of Caleb’s throat. He breathed in the scent of Caleb’s shower-clean skin like a man dying of oxygen. “You. You just.” As words failed him, he kissed Caleb again, until Caleb’s world was spinning a little, and he had to grip the island not to lose his balance. “Let’s eat,” Malik finally managed. “So we can move on to better things.” 

Caleb managed a nod, letting Malik pull him along to the table. He jumped a little at the coldness of the wooden chair on his bare ass, but it quickly warmed under his body heat. He let Malik take the lead of the conversation, mostly just gazing across the short space between them, surely with heart eyes the size of dinner plates showing on his face. Caleb knew in his bones that he was going to marry Malik one day. He wasn’t in any rush to the altar, though, because any talk of it tended to trigger Malik’s fear of homophobia and being shunned by a community he’d worked so hard for.

So far, the school and the administration had stood behind them. There’d been an incident in the fall, when a parent had asked that their student be transferred out of Malik’s class. They’d been perfunctorily told that Malik was the only AP Calculus teacher in the school, and the best one in the district, as far as the administration was concerned, but the parent had pulled their kid out of the school regardless, despite the student’s wishes to graduate with her class.

That one incident, though, was drowned out by the amount of support they’d gotten from staff, students, and parents. Still, Caleb knew it weighed on Malik’s mind.

When they’d finished dinner, and were idly chatting, Caleb let Malik sit back and watch as he got up to clear the plates and clean the dishes. He’d barely made it through their two plates before Malik was pressing into him from behind. “Let’s leave it for tomorrow,” Malik murmured into Caleb’s ear. 

“Okay,” Caleb breathed out, feeling Malik’s stiff cock pressing into his ass. “What do you want to do now?” 

Malik just smiled and walked Caleb back to the bedroom. He stripped out of his shirt, pants, and briefs, letting Caleb admire him, glowing a little at the desire in Caleb’s eyes. “Let’s go to bed, Cay.” 

As Caleb grinned and eased down onto the bed, Malik got one of the bottles of lube - oh, the joys of consolidating households - and grinned right back. “Lay back for me, baby.”

Caleb lay back against the sheets, and Malik kneeled between his legs, spreading his thighs wide so he could see Caleb’s hole. Shaking his head a little, Malik leaned in, pressing kisses to Caleb’s thighs, over the lace, feeling the texture of it with his lips. “Gotta say, Cay-Cay, yellow is your color.” 

“Yeah? They also had turquoise, but I wasn’t sure if it would look good. Didn’t want to order more than one of something over the internet I hadn’t tried yet.” 

“Oh, it’s looks good,” Malik murmured as he moved progressively closer to Caleb’s hole. “You’ll have to show me the site later, so we can pick out some more stuff together. Maybe something all-lace.” 

Caleb was barely able to agree before Malik was licking a circle around his rim, then moving in to slowly fuck him with his tongue. “Fuck, Mal,” Caleb groaned, arching his hips toward Malik’s face.

Malik braced his hands on Caleb’s hips and sank in further, loosening the tight ring of muscle and driving Caleb crazy in the process. Unable to move his hips, Caleb sank his fingers into the sheets and squeezed his eyes shut, giving himself over to sensation. He wasn’t sure exactly how long Malik held him on the edge, fucking him, then sitting back and admiring his handiwork, then moving in to fuck him again, but Caleb was breathless, writhing against the press of Malik’s hands.

“Please, baby,  _ pleeease _ ,” Caleb whined, unable to take anymore of the pleasurable torture. 

“I’ve got you, Cay,” Malik murmured. He leaned back and slicked up two fingers, sliding them into Caleb easily and beginning to scissor and stretch. He hummed, happy at the image of his fingers being swallowed up by Caleb’s hole. He took Caleb efficiently to three fingers, watching him writhe. 

When he let all three fingers slip out, Caleb groaned, and looked up at him belligerently, which made Malik laugh. Caleb’s expression cleared, and he was obviously scheming. “Come get what you want,” Malik murmured. He sat back, knowing what was about to happen. 

“Gonna be like that, huh?” Caleb muttered, pushing Malik a little roughly onto his back. It was an action they’d established as okay long ago, and Malik just grinned up at Caleb. 

“Yeah, it’s gonna be like that. Wanna watch these babies work,” Malik murmured as he squeezed one of Caleb’s thighs. 

Caleb took the lube and slicked up Malik’s cock, stroking it long and hard, just to give some back. In a moment, he was straddling Malik’s body and easing himself down onto Malik’s cock. They both groaned in satisfaction as Caleb sank all the way down. He place his hands on Malik’s chest to steady himself, and began to fuck Malik’s cock slowly. 

Malik took Caleb’s thighs in his hands, feeling the muscles bunch under his fingers, watching the yellow lace expand and contract, so gorgeous against Caleb’s skin. Above him, Caleb was lost to pleasure, eyes closed, head tipped up. Malik let one of his hands drift to the black cup of Caleb’s jock strap, stroking the thick column of Caleb’s cock, feeling the wet spot where precum had soaked through. He pulled a little, setting the head of Caleb’s cock free so he could see it weep precum. 

“Mal, Mal, Mal,” Caleb chanted, grinding his ass down on Malik’s cock.

“I’ve got you, baby,” Malik murmured. He kept stroking Caleb’s cock as Caleb sped up and cried out, clenching down around Malik as he came all over his stomach. 

Malik groaned and flipped them, pressing Caleb hard into the sheets and fucking him with all his strength. It didn’t take long before Malik was stiffening, spilling into Caleb and collapsing on his body.

“Oh, oh shit,” Caleb moaned

“Holy shit,” Malik agreed, kissing at the hollow of Caleb’s throat. 

Caleb stroked down Malik’s back. “Shit, I love you.”

“Love you too, Cay. Thanks for the surprise.”

“You are extremely welcome.” Caleb stretched as much as he could, pinned under Malik as he was. “You know what we should do next?”

“What?” Malik grunted. 

“Hot tub.”

“Oh,  _ shit. _ I really love you.” Malik latched onto his skin, well below where it would be visible by anyone unless they saw him naked, and sucked a bruise. “You are the smartest boyfriend in the entire world.”

Caleb eased them into a sitting position, letting Malik slip out of him. “Says the man who does primes in his head to calm down.”

“Uh-uh,” Malik murmured, kissing Caleb sweetly as Caleb cradled him in his lap. “You are every bit as smart as me, and don’t you imply otherwise. You’ve got way more facts about history, and politics, and geography, floating around in your head than I will ever fathom.”

Caleb blushed and pressed their cheeks together. “Okay, time for towels,” he groaned finally. Their hot tub was in an area secluded from the neighbour’s sight, but the walk to and from the tub was out in the relative open. 

Malik groaned as he eased off of Caleb lap and stood, then pulled Caleb up with him. He hummed his appreciation at Caleb, the jockstrap shoved down to reveal his soft cock, his stomach spattered with cum. “Fuck, Cay, you are also the hottest thing on two legs.”

Caleb grinned. “Right back at you.” He stepped out of the jock strap, throwing it in the hamper, and slung his arm around Malik’s waist for support. Malik snickered, almost like he was drunk, and steered them to the laundry room, where they got clean towels, slipped on sandals, and headed out for the hut tub. 


	33. Leia and Anne headcanons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> limaoscarcharlie on tumblr wanted to know about Leia and Anne, Organa's Organics favorite odd couple. Here are some collected headcanons.
> 
> Warning: the ending discusses Anne's death. It's been mentioned briefly in passing, but this goes into slightly more detail.

Oh man. This made me cry. Leia and Anne are amazing. 

I’m going to go out of order:

* * *

 

**2: First impressions of each other?**

One night, they get to drinking whiskey-spiked tea and open up about this.

Leia’s laughing, wiping tears from her eyes, at something Anne said, and she blurts out, “Jesus, I never thought we’d get to this point. I mean, when I first met you-” She sobers, but Anne just rolls her eyes and tells her to go on. They’re sitting on the couch, one on each end, facing each other. “I thought you were the biggest square I’d ever seen. Your hair all done up perfect-”

“Findley liked it that way,” Anne says with a matter of fact shrug. Sure, she keeps it natural more often than not these days, but it wasn’t something she resented her husband for.

“And that cream cardigan set, all perfect-”

“I was attending a wedding!” Leia and Anne burst into giggles. “I know, I know. God.” Anne puts a hand on her hot face. “I know. Wouldn’t dare wear that set now, not taking care of Caleb.” Caleb’s another reason Anne likes to let her hair be natural. She takes another sip of tea, nestling her feet closer to Leia’s. “I was jealous of you. Not you, I guess, but your relationship with Finn.”

Leia clumsily reaches over to pat Anne’s knee. “No reason to be jealous anymore, huh?”

**5: How much do they talk to each other? How close are they? How do they grow close? How long does it take?**

The first few months in the main house are awkward. Anne is grieving, and unsure of her place, and so full of regret. Leia hasn’t lived with anyone for years. They have a few blow ups, nothing they reveal to the kids of course - they both love Finn and Poe too much to disappoint them.

They bond over gardening. Anne’s never really done it, but loves it, can’t resist sinking her fingers into the dirt and seeing the results. Leia seduces her with daisies and black-eyed susans and cornflowers. It’s this they bond over when they seem to have nothing else in common, nothing else to talk about. It’s gardening that leads to longer conversations, conversations about lost husbands, and the way their lives have taken such different routes only to end up here, together.

It takes a little bit, but they become close, closer than best friends. Companions. Platonic, but life companions. That type that make you wonder why platonic life companions aren’t more of a thing.

**1: How do they work together? Is it an easy relationship? Is it something they both mindfully put effort into?**

All that above isn’t to say that they don’t annoy the heck out of each other sometimes. Again, it’s something they’re private about. No need to trouble the kids with these old ladies worries, that’s what they’ll say to each other when they’ve made up. It’s not an easy relationship, no, but what is? Leia and Han were never easy, and Anne and Findley were maybe _too_ easy.

**1.5: Could they do "long distance"?**

They’ve never thought about it. They don’t really want to.They’re both settled in to where they want to be.

**4: What are mornings like for them? And evenings? The times when everyone else has gone away and it's just the two of them**

If the kids don’t need help with their kids, Leia and Anne generally are pretty quiet in the morning. Anne’s more of a morning person, and Leia isn’t, so Anne tends to respect her wishes to remain quiet as they eat oatmeal and drink tea in the kitchen.

On the evenings when they’re not visiting Ben and Cassie, Elisa and Snap, or Poe and Finn, then they laugh in the kitchen and prepare a simple dinner together. Anne likes to do the crossword and Leia likes to make fun of her for it.

Leia’s heading toward bed when she hears it again, the muffled crying coming from Anne’s room that she tries to hide. Anne’s been here for six months, and they’re getting along well, but Leia also knew that Anne had visited the tree they’d planted for Findley over at Finn and Poe’s place today. She pulls her nightgown on and grabs her brush, intending to brush her hair out while she figured out how to comfort Anne and convince her not to bottle up her emotions.

Her soft knock is answered, and Anne’s half hiding her face. Leia doesn’t miss the surprise when she pulls Anne into her arms, though. She runs soothing hands over her back and lets Anne cry it out.

“Thanks,” Anne whispers, obviously expecting Leia to leave, but Leia just plops herself down on Anne’s bed and starts to brush out her hair. “Amelia’s certainly growing up, isn’t she?”

Something like resignation crosses Anne’s face before she smiles and sits next to Leia. “She’s already so different than when we first met, in Santa Fe-” She cuts herself off and watches Leia instead. “Can- can I?” she asks tentatively.

Leia offers her a smile and the hairbrush. “Go ahead.”

With her hands at work, her mind steadies, and soon Anne is telling Leia all about her childhood, her teen years - decidedly different than Leia’s - marrying Findley, having Finn. Eventually, Leia’s hair is done and she just eases Anne back to the bed, spooning her from behind and stroking over Anne’s back as she talks, and sometimes cries. They fall asleep like that, and it won’t be the last time they do, though they won’t do it every night. But it becomes something they’ll take refuge in, when either of them are missing human touch, when they’ve had a long day, and they just need the feeling of being held.

**3: NICKNAMES!! INSIDE JOKES!! I feel like they'd have a lot of them after a year of living together**

Leia started calling Anne Annie because she thought it would annoy her, but Anne loves it, especially because it’s something just for Leia. To the grandkids she’s Nan, to Finn she’s Mom, to Poe and the rest she’s Anne. Only Leia calls her Annie.

**6: Do they do things for fun together? If so, favorite activities? or do they experiment?**

Beyond gardening, Leia and Anne have a daily routine of taking a walk around the farm together. Ostensibly, this is so Leia can check on how things are being run, and she can walk over to the brewery and see how Cassie and Ben are getting on and check on her grandkids, but it’s also become a cherished tradition for Anne and Leia. It keeps them spry, Anne’s always telling Finn when he worries about her tripping over a hole in a field and breaking something.

**7: Do they go on adventures? Little, secret ones they keep from Finn and Poe? Dinner in Portland? Tantra?**

Once a year, Leia and Anne tell the kids they’ll have to find babysitters elsewhere, and take off for the Coast. They rent a little cabin and spend a week eating and beachcombing and buying gifts for the grandkids.

**2.5: (then let's depress ourselves, why don't we, last impressions of each other?)**

Finn finds Leia on the bench, her cane propped up to the side, her arms wrapped around herself. She’d come over with Ben and Cassie and the kids, and Finn knew she liked to pay her respects at some point, every visit. He’s not surprised to see tears on her face, or to feel his own eyes well up.

“She left us too early,” Leia mumbles, wiping at her eyes with a tissue.

Finn sits down and holds her hand, letting her lean into his side a little. She’s so small, how does Finn forget she’s so small? “I know.”

“She was a good woman.”

“I know,” Finn says, a little softer. They both gaze at the pink dogwood, still a seedling, next to the strong, tall dogwood they’d planted for Findley two decades ago. “I’m glad I- I’m glad I got a second chance with her.”

Leia squeezes her hand. “I’m glad you did, too, my boy. She was so happy to be here, so proud of you.”

Finn breaks down again, has lost count of the amount of times recently he’s broken down. He barely made it through the tree planting ceremony, had only made it because he’d had Poe’s shoulder to cry on. “She loved you too, Leia.”


	34. The Ford Family does Manhattan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pleasecallmesurely prompted me with "I'm super scared of heights but you don't know that and really wanted to go up the Empire State Building so I'm just gonna pretend it's all fine and OH GOD WE'RE SO HIGH HOLD ME"
> 
> and my mind went immediately to Calik for whatever reason.

Malik edged back to the corner of the elevator, circling his arms around Caleb’s waist and pulling him close. He rested his head against his husband’s back, even though it was sweaty from the summer heat and humidity. Eh, he’d had worse, if they were speaking of fluids Caleb had produced. He smiled despite his tiredness at the dirty thought and wondered if they’d have energy for anything once they got back to the AirBnB.

“We’ve been here f’r’ver,” Angelina murmured, not quite a complaint, never quite a complaint. Maybe one day she’d feel comfortable enough with them to, heaven forbid, complain. Malik smiled at her, and took one of his hands from Caleb’s waist to hold it out to her. She took it, leaning in against him and Caleb, looking tired too. On the other side of Caleb, Misael leaned against the side of the elevator, tapping it in a rhythmic pattern. Malik couldn’t actually see him, blocked by Caleb’s tall body, but he could hear the energy coming off Misael in waves. Misael had taken to New York City like a duck to water, and something deep in Malik’s gut worried that they might lose their boy to the big city.

Christ, how fast Misael had become his _boy._ The adoption had only been finalized a month ago. This trip, a celebration of becoming united as a family - in the eyes of the state, anyway - as much as it was for Misael to tour college campuses. But, dammit, Misael was his _boy_ and Angelina was his _girl_ and Caleb was his _man_ , and Malik had never felt more at home in the world.

“We’re almost halfway, sweetie,” Caleb murmured, and Malik squeezed her hand. She nodded quietly, hugging her new drawing pad closer to her chest, looking way tinier than her ten years. When he thought- Malik chewed his lip. When he thought of what Misael had saved her from, he just wanted to pull her tiny body, with her wavy brown locks that flowed halfway down her back, into his, wrap his arms around her, keep her safe forever. He felt the same fierce protectiveness over Misael, and Caleb, of course. He’d never known- never known his heart could have the capacity for it, to be honest.

Eventually, the crowded elevator came to a stop, and family by family, they cleared out onto the observation deck. Angelina kept her hand firmly tucked in Malik’s, but she tugged on it, eager to get out to the fence and see the city as Misael pulled ahead of everyone, phone out to take pictures.

Malik took an involuntary breath at the sight, boosting Angie up so she could see, and she gasped in delight. “Oh my _gosh,_ Malik, it’s _amazing!”_

“It’s beautiful,” he murmured to her, seeing Misael snap a pic of them out of the corner of his eye. He turned with a smile, looking for his husband, feeling the need to share a kiss while they were on top of the world, or nearly so. The smile fell from his lips as he spied Caleb, pale in the afternoon heat, clutching at the railing, his fists white-knuckled. “Baby?”

Malik swiftly set Angelina down and moved to Caleb’s side, watching the anxiety shimmering in his eyes. “Caleb?” he said more softly. He pressed his hand over Caleb’s, and found that his pulse was beating too rapidly. “Can you breath with me, Cay?”

Caleb’s nod was tight as he continued to look out at the skyline. Malik counted out a breath, just like Caleb had shown him when he’d walked him through his own panic attack in the bathroom, all those years ago. And many times since then, too. 

“Coach?” Misael rushed up, pulled along by Angelina.

She tugged on her brother’s hand and gave him a command in Spanish that Malik understood - _“Help him!”_

“He’s okay, two, three, four. Just a panic attack, two, three, four. Not really sure what caused it-”

“Can’t-” Caleb whooshed out a breath. “Move. Gonna fall. Gonna fall and die.”

 _Since when is Caleb scared of heights?_ Not that Malik was going to argue or demand an explanation right now. “Um. Misael, can I have your cap?”

Misael shoved his baseball hat into Malik’s hands before he’d finished the sentence. Malik settled it on Caleb’s head, pulling it low, the bill settling shade over Caleb’s eyes and blocking his view of most of the deck. “You’re going to hang on to me, Cay-Cay. We’re safe, and you can let go of the railing, you won’t fall. I’ll hold you.”

Slowly, Malik pried Caleb loose from the railing and turned him away from the view. His back to the heights, Caleb seemed to recover somewhat, shaking, but rushing to the wall and practically hugging it. Malik followed, rubbing over Caleb’s back. Caleb crept along the wall, keeping his whole side brushing against it like he needed it to hold his weight, and turned to go back toward the line for the elevator. “I’m just going to- going to head down now,” he muttered, sounding sick and disgusted with himself as he handed Misael his hat back.

Malik chewed his lip and looked back at Misael and Angelina. “Do you guys want to stay, or-” Angelina shook her head reluctantly at the same time that Misael nodded. Malik knelt in front of Angelina. “You can come with Caleb and I, angel, or you could stay here with your brother, if you wanted to look at the other side.”

She hovered reluctantly, chewing on her lip, and Malik gave her his most winning smile. “Caleb’s going to be okay, but I just want to make sure he gets back safely. We’ll be waiting at the bottom for you, and you have your walkie, and Misael has his cell phone.”

Slowly, she nodded, hugging Malik around the neck. She grinned up at Misael, though, and then the two of them were off to explore.

Caleb was silent in the line and on the ride down. When they’d gotten away from the line crowd, he leaned against the building and rubbed his hands over his face. Malik leaned beside him, resting his body lightly against the side of Caleb’s, providing silent support.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Caleb murmured.

“Cay.”

Caleb sighed. “Yeah, okay. I still feel like shit, though.”

“You- I didn’t know you were afraid of heights. I know a lot about you,” he added with a smile, nudging Caleb’s shoulder. “Way to keep a secret.”

Caleb laughed derisively. “Yeah, well, I’m pretty good about avoiding heights. And when I can’t, I- I’m always kind of hoping I can just- you know. Push through it. Like, you know that show where people are afraid of snakes so they put ‘em in a tub full of snakes, or whatever.”

“Honey.”

Caleb turned, taking Malik into his arms and resting his head, sighing.

“That was genuine fear I saw up there, Cay. Full on panic trigger. You don’t have to put yourself through that.”

“Feel weak otherwise.”

Malik scoffed. “Let’s just shut that hetero nonsense down right now,” he joked, and was pleased when Caleb smiled. He worked his fingers over Caleb’s cornrows. “You are not weak. Do you want an itemized list?”

Caleb hugged Malik tighter. “Maybe later.”

They stayed together until it became too unbearable in the baked concrete afternoon heat. Malik was just finishing tapping through his phone when Misael and Angelina joined them, and he let Caleb reassure them he was okay.

“Who wants rolled ice cream?” Malik offered. “I just found a place around the corner.”

Malik smiled as everyone’s heat-weary faces perked up, and he led them away like the pied piper.


	35. Don't Worry, Be Happy - Rated M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, it has been an AGE since I visited the farm. 
> 
> This takes place in year 20 - Amelia and Caleb are in college, no grandkids yet, so Finn and Poe have an empty nest and have fallen into a bad habit of not seeing each other much, which of course freaks Poe out. Finn's got it under control though, as always. 
> 
> Rated M for talk of sexy times but no actual sexy times (sorry folks, that's just how it goes sometimes!)

Poe ran his boots through the brush, knocking most of the mud off before taking them into the mud room and leaving them there. He hadn’t spent the last nearly two decades telling Amelia and Caleb not to track mud in the house not to heed his own advice.

He was tired today, and when Chris had insisted he had everything under control, multiple times, Poe finally relented and headed back to the house early. Well, with Caleb off at college, and the house empty, he and Finn had maybe been stretching their work hours a little long. He wasn’t sure he’d been home before 7 in over a month. It was summer, after all, and the farm needed him. 

Which- was- Poe scrubbed a hand over his face. Was that just him telling himself Finn didn’t need him? Did Finn not need him? Did- 

“Mrow!” 

Smokey’s meow was loud and piercing, joggling Poe out of his thoughts. He watched Smokey twine between his legs, and let the cat distract him, picking the huge grey fluffball up and carrying him upstairs with him. 

He shuffled out of his jeans - never could understand anyone falling asleep in those tight things - and laid down, whistling a little so Smokey’d jump up on the bed. 

He petted over Smokey’s fur and chewed his lip, worrying about Finn and their relationship in a way he hadn’t let himself worry for- for years.  _ Years. _ Right. Right. He and Finn were  _ committed. _ They  _ loved _ each other.

So what if Poe had been busy at the farm and Finn had been busy at the firm and they hadn’t really carved out a moment alone for themselves now that the kids were gone?

That didn’t mean that the kids were the only thing that glued them together.

Right?

Smokey jumped up on his chest, kneading into his plaid cotton shirt. Petting him was the last thing Poe really remembered before he slipped into sleep.

\---------------------------------

Finn hung his coat and started to carry his briefcase upstairs under the assumption that Poe wasn’t back from work. He could get a little paperwork done before they slapped together a few sandwiches and called it good for the night.

The bedroom door was open, that’s what threw him. He had a habit of closing it against children, a habit that he’d yet to lose, even though his children were grown and gone. He hesitated, then tiptoed forward and stuck his head inside. 

Poe was asleep on the bed, Smokey curled on his chest, both of them snoring away, and Finn almost laughed - he must have gotten so used to Poe’s snoring that he hadn’t noticed the noise. He leaned against the doorjamb and watched Poe’s chest rise and fall, moving the cat ever so slightly with each breath. His heart stuttered with love. 

He set his briefcase down in the hallway and unbuttoned his dress shirt, tossing it over the chair - he’d get it to the closet eventually, sure. Despite going topless in the summer heat, he nudged his feet up against Poe’s bare calf and curled into Poe’s side, syncing breaths with him, and drifting off himself.

\------------------------

When Poe woke in Finn’s arms, it felt, he slowly realized, more natural than waking alone did these days. He tracked over Finn’s sleeping face, the dusting of silver curls at his temples that made him the sexiest motherfucker alive, at least in Poe’s opinion. Finn had a similar opinion about Poe’s own gray curls. 

He still looked so young in sleep, all the laugh and smile lines and eye crinkles ironed out in a way that Poe’s didn’t anymore, not even in rest. He was beautiful, breathtaking really, this way. God, he was gorgeous awake, too, but maybe Poe hadn’t taken the time lately to appreciate it. Every single one of those smile lines was there because of the life they’d built together. In them, Poe saw Amelia, and Caleb, and Meghan, and Anne, and Rey. Himself.  


He watched Finn wake up, watched those wrinkles appear as a bright smile crossed Finn’s face. Suddenly, Poe was overwhelmed. 

“I’m so sorry, Finn,” he mumbled, his voice breaking.

Finn’s face immediately changed to one of alarm. “What? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you health-”

Poe flushed and rushed out a negative. “No- no, I’m fine. God, no, I’m sorry about that, too. Alarming you, I mean.” 

He felt Finn’s arms relax marginally. “What, then?”

“I’m- I love you, so fucking much.” 

Confusion, now. “I love you too, baby.” 

Poe sighed, thunking his head against Finn’s bare chest. Finn’s fingers started to sift through his tangled curls. “I- we- do you think we work without the kids?”

“What?”

“We- we’ve barely spent any time together since Caleb left for college. Do you think we’re- are we broken? What do we have, here, between us?”

_ “What?” _ Finn stopped brushing his fingers through Poe’s hair and pulled Poe up to his eye level. “Where is this coming from?”

“Just- just what I said. That we haven’t spent time-”

“It’s the busy season at the farm, and Margot leaving at work really screwed the firm over, I told you-” Finn bit it off and shook his head. “Baby. We are  _ not _ broken.” 

“But-”

“Baby.”

Poe chewed on his lip and looked into Finn’s eyes - no longer alarmed, but dancing with a silent happiness. It buoyed Poe’s soul. “We’re not broken.” 

Finn curled his leg around Poe to draw him closer, until they were lying solidly against each other, sharing body heat. “It’s- it’s weird and sometimes- sometimes it’s really unpleasant, not having the kids around. I love them. It’s- I was just thinking, earlier, how I still close the bedroom door, even though- even though they’re gone.” 

“I almost knocked on Caleb’s door the other day to wake him up to go to school,” Poe admitted. 

“It’s definitely weird.” 

“The house seems - seems so empty.” 

“It does,” Finn whispered. “Maybe that’s why we’ve both been avoiding it.” 

Poe nodded a little before kissing Finn’s neck. 

“It’s okay to feel weird, I think. I’m just going to call it now: It’s okay to feel weird about it. I miss them like I’d miss a limb if one got lopped off.”

“I miss them, too, and then- then we weren’t - and. And- well. I miss  _ you _ , too.” 

Finn reached down and captured Poe’s left hand in his, so their rings glinted together in the mid-evening light. “Well. Here I am.” He brought Poe’s lips to his, then, sinking them into deep kisses that lightened Poe’s soul with every touch. 

“You know what I think?” Finn murmured, a little breathy.

“No, what?” 

“I think we need to remember back when we were young-”

“You’re still young, babe. And I never was.” 

“Flattery doesn’t mean you get to insult yourself, bucko.” Finn tapped on Poe’s chest until Poe relented and held his hands up in apology. “Anyway. We need to remember what it was like to be young and carefree and kids-free. We jumped into parenthood pretty quickly, and I don’t regret it for a second.”

“Me, neither.” 

Finn smiled. “But remember the couple that fucked in the truck on the side of the road because I couldn’t wait to feel you inside me?” He arched a brow. 

Poe swallowed, blushing. “Yes. Yes, I really fucking remember that. Or the time you bent me over the counter in the kitchen.”

“Mmm. Or all the times we fucked outside in the backyard, in the summer warmth, no one to spy on us.” 

“We could do that again,” Poe said excitedly. 

“Damn right we could.” Finn captured his mouth hungrily, then pulled back. “Well, maybe not the counter, with my back-”

“And my ACL. Yeah. Okay. Bed’s good for now.” Poe pulled Finn back in, molding a hand over the chest that had gone just a little soft with age. 

“Look at us,” Finn murmured against Poe’s lips. “It’s 7 o’clock. On a Wednesday.” 

Poe laughed, hugging Finn tight. “All around the world, parents are putting their kids to bed and falling into an exhausted heap, like  _ suckers.” _

Finn snorted, then reached down to stroke Poe’s cock through his boxers. “Suck, you said?” 

Poe’s grin was quick, then gone. Sober, he cupped Finn’s face. “I’m sorry about spouting all that nonsense about us being broken.” 

Finn rested his forehead against Poe’s and kissed Poe’s nose. “S’okay. We needed a little kick in the pants, I think. But baby?” Finn’s eyes were warm on his, soothing Poe from the inside out. “I- you know I- I worry. A lot. About a lot of things. Because I have a jerk brain. But this? Us?” Finn pulled Poe’s ring hand up to brush his lips over the band there. “We’ve got this. This, I don’t worry about. Not after everything we’ve gone through. We’re solid. We’re good. So if you need a reminder of that, just let me know. I’ve got plenty more where that came from.” 

Poe’s heart thudded in his chest.  _ “Christ _ , I love you.” He fell into another kiss happily.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I don't write for this universe that much anymore, but I just want you to know that they're still there, kicking away, living their lives, existing happily and healthily and living forever because they've discovered the secret to immortality is lots of old age sex and spending time with grandkids.


	36. Don't Worry, Be Happy Part 2 - Rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of chapter 35: Finn and Poe set aside time to enjoy each other's company, just the two of them.   
> This takes place in year 20, Summer: (Amelia/22, Eli/24, Caleb/18, Meghan/31, Chris/38, Finn/44, Poe/53)
> 
> Rated E for the sexy times that didn't happen in the last chapter.

The next night, they both made an effort to be home at a reasonable hour - Poe had to let Chris start handling more, or he’d never be ready to let go of the farm when the time came - if the time ever came. And while Finn was a partner now, with greater responsibility, he had been falling into the bad, anxiety-producing habits he’d formed when he was training under Greg. They’d both held up their pinkies last night and made a vow to spend more time together, starting tonight, and Finn had felt it as deep in his bones as his marriage vows. 

Then he’d blown the fuck out of his husband, because, you know. He was there, and all. 

Finn grinned at the memory as he pulled into their drive. All this meant there Poe was, waiting for him, swinging on the porch with a matching grin when he saw Finn’s car. He stood, the rugged lines of him striking Finn’s eyes for the millionth time, just like the first time. He’d taken the time to clean up, shave, put on his dress button up, jeans, and boots. He reminded Finn a little of that first barn dance they went to, twenty years ago. The fun part, before he got stabbed in the back with a piece of glass.  


Poe was waiting to open the car door when Finn pulled the car up and into park. 

Finn had barely popped his seatbelt button when Poe was lifting him up by his hands to his feet and pulling him into a kiss that had Poe's cowboy hat tilting back, slightly ajar now. Finn sighed happily as he readjusted it, fingers tracing the lines by Poe’s eyes as they came back down to settle on his chest. “Hi.” 

“Hi,” Poe murmured, a little breathy, a little happy. His own fingers swept over Finn’s jaw. “You ready for this? Our brave new adventure, just the two of us?”

Finn found Poe’s hands with his and linked the fingers together. “I’m very ready. Well, I want to change quickly into something more comfortable. You, sir, though. You clean up right nice,” Finn said in a mock country accent. He gave Poe a fast kiss and hurried inside to change. When he came out again, Poe was waiting by the steps, and Finn launched into his arms.

With a laugh, Poe angled him into the sunlight. “God, you’re beautiful like this.” 

Finn grinned, angling his chin up a little to catch more of the golden summer evening sun on his face. “How’s this?”

Poe snorted, swinging their hands a little. “You’re ridiculous, and I love you.” 

“You sure you want to be seen with this ridiculousness?”

“Never sure of anything more in my life.”

Finn beamed, then spotted the picnic basket and backpack by their feet. “You got all together already? Baby! Thank you.” He pulled Poe in for another slow kiss. 

Poe’s laugh was a little breathless as he leaned over to pick up the basket. Finn grabbed the backpack with the blanket and other supplies and angled them toward the well-worn pathway to the farm. “I had a little extra time, so I went into town and got us some fixings at Market of Choice.”

“Yeah? Did you get the cookies?”

“You _know_ I got the cookies, babe. What do you take me for?”

“I’ll take you for whatever price you want if you got the cookies.” 

Poe’s laughter echoed through the trees along the path. 

They headed out over the fields, chatting idly the way only couples who’ve been together for twenty years can. It wasn’t boring, somehow, which made Finn wonder if Poe could  _ ever _ bore him. Not even with the umpteenth time he’d heard Poe’s plan for the crop rotations. He’d never tire of listening to Poe explain his vision until Finn could  _ see _ it too, like a ghost hovering over the land, the ghost of what would come. 

Finn remembered the time, a few years ago, back when Chris was still new here - a few? More like a decade, Jesus - and he, Finn and Poe had been enjoying some lemonade in the back while Caleb and Amelia ran around with the soccer ball. Poe had been doing his thing, making the farm vision appear for both of them, working on his signing at the same time, when Chris had smiled, and agreed, and broken in with his own plans and interpretations. That night, as he fell asleep in Poe’s arms, Poe had whispered in his ear, “He’s going to be the guy.”

Finn had teased him. “I thought I was  _ the guy.”  _

Poe had laughed, kissing Finn’s neck. “Well, yeah. But I mean, the _farm_ guy. The one I pass this all on to, if- well, if none of the kids head that way, you know? Don’t want Organa’s to end up in the hands of someone I don’t know. He’s the guy.”

“He is,” Finn murmured in agreement, happy that Poe wasn’t thinking of pressuring their kids into following in his footsteps. They hadn’t ever talked about it explicitly, but it had been on his mind, the idea of being pressured into a high-paying field. Sure, he loved being a lawyer, he loved helping people, but he never wanted his kids to feel the confusion he’d felt through his schooling.

Back in the present, somewhat serendipitously, Chris emerged from a tall row of corn, starting at the sight of them, then turning pink. “Oh, hey guys.” 

Finn broke his handhold with Poe to sign, “<Hey, Chris! How are you?>”

Chris seemed to blush harder, nodding rapidly. “Good, good, well, I’ll get out of your hair.” He nodded again, and rushed by them, Poe bursting into laughter as soon as he had turned away from them. 

Finn arched a brow at Poe. “And what was that all about?”

“I may have told Chris to spread the word among the hands that we were going to be using the back field tonight.” 

“Uh huh. And what exactly did you tell him we would be  _ using _ it for?”

Poe held up his free hand in defense. “I didn’t say  _ anything bad. _ But then Snap made it a thing, and- well. Anyway, we shouldn’t get bothered tonight.” 

Finn rolled his eyes and shook his head before taking Poe’s hand again. “My god, Poe. Seriously?” He laughed a little. “Well, we’ve never been the most subtle people.” 

“Mmmhmm, yeah, I think our penchant for outdoor sexy times precedes us.”

“I can’t even be mad. There’s just something so... _ natural _ about being out here.” Finn took a deep sniff of the summer-warmed air. “Good thing I married a farmer, huh?”

“It is strangely provident.” Poe grinned and pulled Finn into his side so he could curl his arm around Finn’s waist as they walked. 

They continued on, reaching the back field and setting out their supplies just as the sun started to lower. In a little while, they’d have the best sunset Mother Nature could provide. Poe lit a candle - citronella - and started unpacking the food as Finn watched him, a small smile on his face. 

Poe looked up. “What?” he asked with a grin of his own. 

“Remember our first time?”

Poe’s grin grew wider. “Different back field back then when the farm was smaller. But yeah, I do.” 

“Did you happen to make a wish on any of those shooting stars?”

“If I did, I’ll never tell,” Poe murmured. “Don’t want to lose the magic.” 

“Hasn’t come true yet?” 

Poe pulled Finn down to the blanket, pressing him onto his back and kissing him thoroughly. “Still coming true.” 

Finn sunk his fingers in Poe’s curls and pulled him closer. “Love you.” 

“Thank God.”

They settled in like that, in each other’s arms, feeding each other various bits of antipasti and cookies until they were full. The sky was edging from yellow to pink to purple to blue, shot through with fluffy summer clouds, like broad brush strokes across a starry canvas. Finn watched the gold settle into Poe’s skin, lighting him up. As smoothly as they fed each other, they transitioned into kisses. Long, slow, sweet ones, like the long strokes of clouds that painted the sky. 

Finn’s fingers fumbled a moment on Poe’s buttons, but then the shirt was hanging open and Finn’s fingers were sinking into the soft curls across Poe’s pecs, instead. Poe groaned into their kiss as Finn’s light touch played over his nipples. 

“Not sure if my knee will take a reproduction of that first time,” Poe murmured raggedly against Finn’s lips. 

Finn hummed, slowly reversing their positions, clearing the food away so they could move. “This works, too, though,” he murmured back, smiling down at Poe, who beamed back up at him. 

Finn sat back on his haunches, pulling Poe’s boots off, then working his jeans and boxers over his legs, wanting to see all of Poe bathed in the light of the sunset. “Absolutely gorgeous,” he whispered, and a pink blush tinged Poe’s cheeks and spread over his chest at the compliment. 

He pulled his own shirt over his head and tossed it aside with Poe’s clothes before traveling back up Poe’s body with brief kisses along his heated skin. It took Poe a little longer, now, to get hard. Finn didn’t mind taking his time with the foreplay, though. 

No, he thought, when Poe was writhing against the three fingers he had rubbing over Poe’s prostate, he didn’t mind the foreplay at all. 

He placed a kiss on Poe’s hip bone, then withdrew to Poe’s groan. He reached for the button on his own pants, his hands fumbling, his own cock a stiff column against the denim. He paused when he realized his fingers were covered in lube, which was why he couldn’t get the button undone, and he laughed helplessly.

It took Poe about a half a second to size up the situation, and then he was laughing, too, tugging Finn closer and working on the button himself. Finn lost it a little, then, doubling over, burying his face in Poe’s neck and laughing until he was breathless and crying. Poe held him through it, running a rough, callused hand over his back, chuckling himself even as he pulled Finn’s pants down so Finn could kick them away. 

When they were settled, and semi-serious (because, let’s be honest, would they ever be entirely serious? Probably not), Finn closed in for another kiss, soothing them back into the rhythm of foreplay they’d been in before. 

Poe’s legs fell open for Finn when he slid between them, his hole stretched and inviting, his arms pulling Finn down so their chests touched, shared warmth in the cooling - though still warm - night air. Around them, the crickets were starting up, a symphony that seemed to Finn like it was coordinated with the knocking of their hearts. Quiet like that, he slipped into Poe, was enveloped by him, welcomed home with legs and arms and lips and heart. 

Their lovemaking turned slow, or maybe it stayed slow, had always been destined to be slow tonight. It was slow, and lovely, the way their breaths mirrored the crickets and the darkness closed around them until it was just them, and the night, and the flickering citronella candle, and nature. 

When he came inside Poe, it was a long, slow burst, too, it seemed. A few more strokes, and Poe erupted over his fist and went boneless on the blanket, letting out a happy little  _ oof _ when Finn collapsed on top of him. He liked the weight of Finn there, Finn knew from experience. 

Eventually, he left Poe, but only briefly to clean them up with some of the paper napkins from dinner before he cuddled right up against him, looking up at the twinkling stars. 

They lay like that, Poe murmuring the stories of the constellations he’d told Finn a million times before, and Finn not minding one bit, loving the low rumble of Poe’s voice. 

Somehow, impossibly, or maybe extremely possibly, they fell asleep like that, under the stars, the blanket pulled up over them cursorily. 

When Finn woke later, muscles stiff with cold and use and age, the unnatural bright green glow of his fitness tracker told him it was past one in the morning. He winced and slapped at a mosquito before nudging Poe awake. “Babe, our candle went out, we’re getting eaten alive. I, for one, don’t want mosquito bites on my dick. I’ve got court on Friday. That would  _ not _ leave a good impression.” He mumbled this mostly to himself as he gathered their clothes, tossing his husband’s on his still mostly asleep body, then started on the food gathering. 

Eventually, they were up, bundled haphazardly in clothes and stumbling back to their house like two punch drunk teenagers. Not, Finn thought as he giggled, that this would be the first walk of shame they’d done across the farm. 

Yeah, maybe they were getting a reputation. 

Fuck it, he thought with a grin, hauling his cowboy closer to him and smiling up at the stars. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I got this idea I realized how often I've had Poe and Finn have sex outside and I realized it's just kind of their thing, now. Like. They are the outdoor sex couple. The rest of the farm is a little wary of wandering around at night. 
> 
> Yeah, they've definitely been caught by some farm hands before.


	37. Sunshine Songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sypderqueen sent this to my tumblr inbox: Okay, so something my brain generated: Amelia, 7 y.o. about, discovering the song Walking On Sunshine. WHY my brain generated this mental picture, I dunno, but it's ADORABLE and I had to share.
> 
> And it wouldn't leave my head. :)

Permanence was a concept Caleb was having an especially hard time understanding. Not that the three year old would have been able to understand that that’s what he was having a hard time understanding. This house was the most permanent place he’d known so far in his very short life, but he didn’t really understand what that meant, or why. Why it was different than before. Why his mama was gone. These were the things he didn’t even really know he was thinking, didn’t really even know he was worried about.He was getting sort of anxious, not that he’d know to call it that, about how long he’d been here. It seemed wrong, somewhere deep inside him, in his bones, that he’d been at the farm for so long.

Finn and Poe were downstairs working on dinner. Meghan was in her room. And Amelia- he didn’t know where Amelia was, exactly, though he could hear her singing. The bathroom?

 _I’m walking on sunshine, woooooo-ooooo,_ Amelia’s voice was belting out.

Caleb, who’d drawn his knees up to his chest and laid his head on them, tired of how hard his brain seemed to be working and not sure why it was working so hard, managed a small smile. He liked the sunshine song.

He liked Amelia.

If he left, Amelia probably wouldn’t be there. She hadn’t been there before. She might not be there tomorrow. That made Caleb very, very sad. He liked Amelia a lot.

The singing was growing closer, and louder, and Caleb turned his head to see Amelia dance into the room, belting at the top of her lungs, hair wrapped up in a towel on the top of her head, already snug in her pajamas.

She paused when she saw him, sitting on the floor of their bedroom, tucked up against the bed like he was trying to disappear. Carefully, she sat by him, patting one of his knees. “Y’okay, buddy?”

Buddy. Poe called him that, too. Caleb shrugged. “Tired,” he excused.

Amelia nodded sagely, although the only time Caleb ever saw Amelia tired was when she’d finally run out of steam right before bed, or sometimes when she got sick and had to take her medicine or eat a snack.

She sat there silently, watching him, letting him decide if he wanted to say anything else.

“Like your song,” he murmured.

Her face broke into a sunbeam, and something inside Caleb warmed. “My sunshine song? Well, it’s not my only sunshine song, but Daddy-Poe taught me this one and the other one and I really love both of them.”

“Other song?”

Amelia scooted a little closer to Caleb and starting running her fingers through his hair and folding pieces neatly into braids. When she did that, Finn always shook his head and laughed. Caleb liked the feel of her hands in his hair, though. Reminded him of his mama.

“One time, when I was _really_ little, like, your size, I fell in the yard and hurt my knee. There was blood everywhere.” Amelia stuck out her leg to show Caleb where the wound had been. Caleb nodded. He’d done that before, too. “And Daddy-Poe scooped me up in his arms, you know.”

Caleb nodded again. Being scooped up in either Poe or Finn’s arms was one of his favorite places, at the moment.

“And he cleaned me up, but I was still crying, ‘cause I was a little baby. And so he took me to the couch and he sung me the sunshine song. And he said his mama sang it to him when he hurt bad, and then _Daddy-Finn_ told me that _Daddy-Poe_ sang it to _him_ when _he_ got hurt. You wanna hear it?”

Caleb thought about nodding, then shrugged. “I’m not hurt.”

Amelia made a little sound in her throat like she didn’t care about the details. “Won’t tell if you don’t.”

It made him smile, just a little. “Okay.”

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray.” Amelia’s arms slipped around him, pulling him into a hug, and Caleb let his eyes close. “You never know, dear, how much I luh-uhve you, so please don’t take my sunshine away.” She kept humming it, rocking Caleb until he was humming along with her.

When they’d circled around for their last time, Amelia squeezed him tight.

“Amelia, if I hafta go, will you come with me?”

She turned him in her arms to look at his face, her expression alarmed, then settling into something else. “Yes,” she said simply.


	38. Enthusiastic Homecoming - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So in my edit and prep for reposting of O's Os, I'm adding in some smut and possibly other scenes as I want. At the beginning of Finn's List, Finn and Poe mention Poe's 'enthusiastic homecoming' for Finn the night before, and you know what, I thought that should be fleshed out (pun intended). 
> 
> Smut ahead!

Finn shifted, groaning internally, but smiling all the same. The cramped space and unusual smell of the bus was trying to get to him, he could feel it. Still, nothing was going to dampen his spirits, not when it was Christmas, and he was spending it with  _ Poe _ for the second time, and he could see himself spending it with Poe for the rest of his life, and he was only six months from graduating-  _ And taking the bar,  _ a little, annoying voice in his head said, and Finn shoved it aside. The bus was pulling up to the Salem station, and he was going to be seeing Poe soon, and nothing else mattered. 

It was raining, spitting, really, in that annoying way it did in Oregon. Not cold enough to snow (never cold enough to snow, to Finn’s disappointment). As the bus stopped, Finn zipped up the North Face jacket Poe had bought him  _ last _ winter, when Finn had been woefully unprepared. He snuggled into the fleece lining, gathered his personal items, and tried not to tap his foot as people waited to exit the bus. 

Finally, he was out, his backpack heavy on his back as he flew across the blacktop and straight into Poe Dameron’s waiting and open arms. He squeezed with all his might, then leaned back a little so he could lay a big one on Poe’s lips.

Poe sighed, deepening the kiss, bringing Finn closer into the circle of his arms. Eventually, he broke the kiss, caressed over Finn’s now wet face, and traced over the line in his fresh fade. “Welcome home,” he murmured, his arms still caught around Finn, holding him in the most delicious hug. 

Then he frowned. “Where’s your hat? You’re going to get sick.” Promptly, he placed his cowboy hat on Finn’s head and smiled. “That’s better.”

Finn kept himself from rolling his eyes as he captured Poe’s mouth again. “I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeated, peppering kisses over Poe’s face. 

Despite the fleece-lined coat and the hat, Finn found himself shivering, and Poe reached down to take Finn’s laptop bag and his hand, leading them away from the bus. “It’s a little colder than Davis, I take it?” 

“Just a little,” Finn joked. “Gonna need a cowboy-slash-radiator to warm me up.” 

“Mmm, mhmm. Well, I think I know where we can find you one of those.” 

“Good.” 

In the cab of the truck, once Poe had turned on the heater, they got caught up in each other again. Finn lost count of the number of times their lips slid together, happily. His fingers clutched into Poe’s leather jacket, and he groaned. “Fuck, I missed you.” 

Breath coming fast, Poe rested his forehead against Finn’s. “I missed you, too, and I love you, too, and if I don’t get you inside me soon, I might go crazy,” he said, sounding truly desperate. 

Finn’s cock stiffened, or stiffened further, making a hard, uncomfortable column in his tight pants. “Fuck. Jesus.” 

“Don’t fuck Jesus, he’s one of my best farmhands.”

Finn laughed as he sat back, buckling his seat belt. “Drive on, Mr. Dameron.” 

\------

There’d be time to say hello to Leia and Snap and Elisa later, Finn decided as he and Poe set down his stuff in the small cottage kitchen/living room with a thunk. As soon as he was unburdened, Poe was pulling Finn into his arms, working at his layers, unzipping and unbuttoning and stripping until his hands were warm on Finn’s skin. 

Finn groaned, trying to pull Poe’s clothes off at the same time. “Fuck,” he murmured when he’d revealed Poe’s chest, and leaned in to latch onto one of Poe’s tight brown nipples. Poe’s fingers flexed in Finn’s short hair, scratching lightly over his scalp. 

Poe pulled him down the hall, past the unused guest bedroom and straight to the queen Poe’d bought when he and Finn had become a regular thing. It took up practically the whole closet-sized bedroom, but neither of them could bring themselves to care - why not use most of the space on a comfortable place for them to sleep? And fuck? 

They were both naked by the time they hit the bed, Finn pushing Poe back, then straddling him, stretching his arms above his head. He looked greedily over Poe’s body, stretched below him, and shook his head. “I’m the luckiest person alive,” he murmured, leaning in to suck at Poe’s neck. 

If anyone teased Poe for the marks, well, they’d just have to figure out how to deal, because there was no way Finn wasn’t marking up his man. 

Poe groaned and shuddered below him, his cock sliding against Finn’s stomach, leaking pre-cum. Finn reached down to take it in his hand, feeling the steel heat of it, sighing into another kiss. “Baby,” he groaned. “You’re so ready.” 

“My hand hasn’t been cutting it for the last few days. My dick knew you were coming.” 

“Oh, I’m coming, all right.” Finn laughed against Poe’s throat as Poe’s body quivered with mirth. 

“You’re the worst. I missed you so much.” Poe moaned as Finn latched onto his pulse point and sucked. 

Finn’s mouth couldn’t provide proper suction because he was grinning too hard, but he swept over Poe’s fevered skin anyway, taking his time, pulling sounds out of Poe’s lips that Skype sex could never replicate. 

When he reached Poe’s thighs, he pressed them open wide, pulling a pillow down to prop up Poe’s hips. Without further preamble, he found Poe’s hole and kissed it, running his tongue around the tight rim - Poe wasn’t a huge fan of fingering himself (except when he wanted to surprise Finn), which meant their first time together after awhile always meant a little extra work on Finn’s part, not that he minded. He loosened Poe’s muscles, fucking him with his tongue as Poe quaked below him. He pressed his weight down on Poe’s thighs so Poe couldn’t buck him off, and kept going, mindless to anything else but the gasps Poe was letting out. Finn was suddenly very, very happy that they were in a cottage in the middle of nowhere, and not his dorm room or a hotel somewhere. Suddenly he wanted to get Poe to  _ scream. _

_ Operation wreck Poe Dameron.  _

Poe’s cock was so stiff, flushed red and leaking against his stomach, twitching. His face was flushed just the same, his curls soaked with sweat and plastered against his forehead, his features screwed up in that fine edge of pleasure/pain, his fingers clutching into the bedspread, his back arching and bowing, his abs clenched. He was the most beautiful thing Finn had ever seen. 

Finn broke away, gasping, overwhelmed. “Come for me, Poe,” he murmured, before resuming his mission. 

Poe stiffened, letting out a huge breath as he spilled over his own stomach, cum painting his abs, making Finn groan. Finn crawled up, capturing the head of Poe’s cock, cleaning him, cleaning his stomach of cum, before kissing up Poe’s chest and folding his still-quaking body into his arms. “Got you, baby,” he murmured, pressing kisses to Poe’s blissed out face. 

“Holy fuck,” Poe moaned. “Holy fuck, you’re good at that.” 

“So are you,” Finn said with a grin. “Really good.” 

Poe stirred, raising an eyebrow at Finn and kissing him. “Mmm, what’s this?” he murmured, pressing his ass back against Finn’s still hard cock. 

“I, uh- well. My hand was still working for me this morning,” Finn said sheepishly.

Poe beamed up at him, pressing his ass into Finn’s cock further. “Not seeing a problem here.” 

It was Finn’s turn to raise an eyebrow back. “You want to keep going?” 

“I want you to fuck me,” Poe replied with a nod. “Fuck me until I can’t seat BB tomorrow.” He turned slightly in Finn’s arms, away from him, the long expanse of his beautiful back pressed to Finn’s front. 

“Fuck.” Finn moaned, burying his face in Poe’s neck and latching on again, drawing up another mark. He wanted Poe to feel this tomorrow, wanted himself to feel it. 

He rolled over to get the lube from the nightstand and slicked his fingers up, stretching Poe further than his mouth had done. Poe was relaxed, almost languid in his hands, until his fingers swept over Poe’s prostate, and Poe twitched like a marionette. Grinning, Finn spent some more time there, watching Poe jump and moan and press his delectable ass back into Finn’s fingers. Poe’s cock was already half-hard again by the time Finn was slicking up his own cock. 

He pressed inside Poe’s welcoming warmth slowly, bottoming out with a groan, rolling his hips, driving himself crazy. He buried his face in the crook between Poe’s neck and shoulder, scenting at Poe’s skin, tongue darting out to lick at the salty sweat, kissing the constellation of freckles and scars and marks on Poe’s skin. 

Poe’s ass was thrusting back toward him, driving him faster, and Finn changed their positions, rolling Poe to his stomach so he could press Poe to the mattress and really get leverage. Beneath him, Poe shuddered, his head tossing back and forth, moaning Finn’s name. 

The slide in and out was so good, and Finn pressed harder, deeper, pulling Poe’s hips up and finding his pleasure. His brain went offline at some point, as every nerve ending began to throb with the need to come, as each thrust set off little explosions through his body. Beneath him, Poe was touching himself, hand shuttling over his stiff cock in time with Finn’s fast-paced thrusts. Finn’s hips pistoned, and he lost himself completely in the moment, in the warmth that was Poe. 

He changed angles and nailed Poe’s prostate, and Poe screamed his name, voice hoarse, shuddering as he came again. Finn latched onto Poe’s neck and spilled inside Poe in a thrust, then another, Poe’s muscles milking him completely dry. 

With the last of his energy, he pulled them back to their sides, nuzzling against the slick skin of Poe’s back, holding onto his love as they both came down. Poe’s hand found his at Poe’s waist, and tangled their fingers together. “Welcome home, baby,” Poe murmured, and Finn made a small little sound, pulling Poe closer yet to him, finding his home in Poe’s warmth. 


	39. Sub In - the smut - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuing to edit for my Organa's repost (of everything in chronological order in one fic) and I decided to add in the 'fade to black' smut scene at the end of Sub In where Poe fucks Finn for the first time. 
> 
> The italic part at the beginning is from Sub In

_When they reached the pickup, Poe dragged him against the door and slammed his mouth down on Finn’s.  Finn was tugging, pulling none-too-gently at Poe’s wet, tangled curls, feeling like he was drowning, and if this was the way he was going out, so be it.  Poe was grinding into him, Finn couldn’t help grinding back, and…_

_“Go get it, el oso!” Laughing and a smattering of applause surrounded them in the dark as Poe’s teammates headed to their cars.  Poe pinkened, raised a hand in acknowledgement, and Finn untangled his fingers from Poe’s hair slowly, making a sound of disappointment._

_Poe’s eyes bore into him.  “Don’t worry babe, we’re just taking a brief intermission. Get in the truck.”_

_Finn hurried to comply, Poe rushing into the driver’s seat and starting the engine.  “How fast can you get us home?”_

_“Would you object to the first dark private country road I can find?”_

_“Hell, no. Just get there quick.”  Finn reached across to Poe’s body, running a hand along his arm, caressing his neck, and tugging into his curls once more.  Poe moaned.  He found what he was looking for and pulled over haphazardly.  The minute he turned the truck off, he was launching himself at Finn across the God-blessed bench seat._

_“Do it again.  Put your hands in my hair. Pull.” Finn couldn’t believe they’d waited this long to explore a dominant Poe, but Poe had always seemed so satisfied, so happy when Finn guided him, when Finn told him what to do, that they’d never questioned it. Silly us, Finn thought fleetingly._

_As if reading his thoughts, Poe lifted his head from the bruising suction he’d been placing on Finn’s neck. “Are you sure this is okay?” he asked timidly._

_“God, yes, baby.”  Finn looked up at him with glazed eyes.  “I want you to be my first, my only.”  Finn did as he said, pulling on the curls._

_Poe’s breath hitched, and he looked hungrily at Finn, like a feast lay before him and he didn’t know where to start. He made an aggressive sound of pure need, and dove back in._

Finn was overwhelmed with need, with giddiness. He tugged at his zipper, trying to shove his pants off in the confines of the cab. Poe growled and dragged the jeans over Finn’s hips so Finn could kick them away. “Get my bag,” he ordered, words hot in Finn’s ear. 

Finn reached over the seat to grab the bag Poe wanted. Poe took the opportunity to lift up Finn’s t-shirt and run his teeth over Finn’s ribs. Finn landed back in Poe’s lap with a plop, handing the bag over and pulling his t-shirt off entirely. Naked Finn? Check. 

Poe rummaged, then found whatever he was looking for and smiled, pulling out a bottle of lube. 

“Why-” Finn was breathless, and tried again. “Why do you have lube?” 

Poe grinned up at him. “Was going to take you to the river to take your mind off the Bar and everything else. Let you fuck me in our favorite spot.” 

Finn moaned, rolling his hips, rubbing his cock against Poe’s stomach. “Such a smart fucking man.” 

Poe ran one hand over the length of Finn’s spine, coming to rest on the rounded curve of Finn’s ass. “You’re so gorgeous,” he breathed. “How are you mine?” He didn’t let Finn answer, instead drawing Finn’s mouth down to his. He squeezed his hands into Finn’s powerful thighs straddling his lap and pulled away, looking up at him again. 

“What?” Finn asked, breathy. 

“You sure? You- you’ve never done this. You don’t deserve a dirty fuck in the cab of my truck. You deserve a bed and pillows and probably a top with some experience-” 

“Fuck that,” Finn muttered. “I deserve  _ you. _ And  _ this _ is how I want you to take me. A dirty fuck in the cab of your truck.” 

Poe’s lips tipped up, and he uncapped the lube. The sound popped in the quiet tension of the cab, and made Finn’s dick jump in pavlovian response. He drew Finn down, laid Finn's head to pillow on his shoulder as he reclined them just a little, spreading his legs so that Finn’s would open wider for him. Finn felt vulnerable, but he wasn’t scared. He knew Poe would take care of him. 

“Just keep me informed, okay? If anything is stretching too fast, or hurting.” 

“Will do,” Finn breathed into the side of Poe’s neck, placing small kisses there, content to be the one being taken care of this time. 

One of Poe’s lubed fingers began to work Finn’s rim. Finn furrowed his brow and spread his legs further, trying to give Poe better access. It felt strange, but not bad, as Poe probed further, sliding past the rim. 

“How are you doin’?” Poe whispered in his ear, looking down at him. 

Finn nodded. “Keep going.” 

Poe worked him over nice and slow, holding him tight and safe. Despite their earlier words, everything slowed down - there was nothing dirty about this, Finn thought. Just two people, finding pleasure together, slow and safe and happy. 

When Poe was scissoring two fingers inside Finn, he rubbed over something and Finn nearly jolted out of his arms. “Holy fu-” 

“Welcome to your prostate,” Poe said with a grin, repeating the move. 

Finn swallowed, burying his face in Poe’s shoulder and arching his back into Poe’s finger to feel it again. “Shit, I get it now.” 

“Right?” 

Poe’s fingers were running over his prostate again and again, because Poe was a torturing bastard, and Finn couldn’t love him more. He reduced Finn to putty in his lap, a creature living for pleasure at the sweep of Poe’s fingertips. 

Poe’s name was a broken moan from his lips. 

Poe reached between them, pushing down his soccer shorts and letting his stiff dick free. “You ready?” His voice was tense with anxiety. 

Finn looked up, then cupped Poe’s cheeks and brought his head down for an extended kiss, until they were both feeling it again, worry shoved away. “Ready,” Finn breathed out. 

He lifted up to his knees astride Poe and let Poe worry about the positioning. When he felt the head of Poe’s cock at his entrance, he began to slowly sit back onto Poe’s lap, Poe letting him set the pace. Finn choked on his breath when he was fully seated on Poe’s lap again. 

Poe swept fingers over his forehead and into his hair. “How’s that?” he asked, voice strained. 

“A-fucking-mazing,” Finn slurred into Poe’s skin. “You?”

“You’re so- god- hot, and tight- You’re driving me crazy, Finn.” 

“Like you drove me crazy tonight at the game, you mean, el oso?” Wanting a little bit of his bear back now that the hard part was over, Finn nipped into the skin at Poe’s shoulder. 

Poe growled, flipping their positions and pressing Finn into the bench seat now. He met Finn’s eyes, linked their fingers, and began to rut into Finn, slowly, surely, building up his pace. The windows had steamed with fog, and the only sound was their combined breathing, as Finn’s whole existence narrowed down to the man above him, inside him, around him. 

Finn wrapped an arm around Poe’s back and dug his fingers in, and Poe growled again, just like Finn had hoped. Poe bit down on Finn’s neck as he thrust into Finn, his strokes short, sliding over Finn’s prostate every time.  _ Holy fucking- _

Poe came, and the feeling inside Finn was entirely new and strange. He felt Poe’s hot cum fill him up, rope by rope, felt Poe continue to fuck into him, a little mindlessly now, his hips stuttering and slowing and finally stopping. 

He groaned, then reached a hand between them to stroke over Finn’s dick, and that’s what did it. Barely a stroke in, and Finn was erupting over Poe’s fist. “Oh, fuck-” Finn bit off, collapsing against the bench seat, boneless now. 

Poe pulled out, cleaning Finn up with a towel from the bag he’d brought, grinning dopily down at him. 

“I totally get the hype,” Finn sighed, smiling up at his fiance. 

Poe laid back down on top of him, nuzzling in, brushing his lips over Finn’s. “I love you.” He helped Finn back into his clothes, couldn’t keep his hands off Finn for more than a second. When they were righted and ready to go, he patted the bench seat beside him, and Finn snuggled in close, using the middle seat belt. They drove home like that, Poe’s arm wrapped around Finn, holding him tightly, and Finn’s head tucked on Poe’s shoulder. 

Yeah, switching was good. 


	40. Reservations - smut scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Reservations, there's a point right at the beginning where Finn's working in his office and Poe comes home and they have some offscreen sexy times. This one ended up being rather short, but I thought I'd post the sexy times here for you anyway. 
> 
> Again, italic part at the beginning appeared in the original fic.

_ He jumped a little, then relaxed, when he felt warm hands on his shoulders.  “Mmm, Carlos, we need to be quick, my husband will be home soon.” _

_ Poe leaned over to whisper in his ear, “Don’t worry, Kevin, I like it quick.” His tongue darted out to lick Finn’s neck where his pulse was already beginning to quicken. Finn let out a moan, already ready, surprising both of them.  Poe made an inquiring noise as he began to suck below Finn’s collar. _

_ “I may have,” Finn paused to inhale, feeling like he was dying for breath all of a sudden, “been thinking about the time I thanked you for this desk, before you even got here.” _

_ “Aha,” said Poe, turning Finn’s rolling chair around and reaching for Finn’s zipper. “Well, we can't leave you in this state, can we?” _

Finn stopped Poe’s fingers, bringing them up to kiss, instead. “Allow me.”

He rolled a little closer to Poe, nose nuzzling against the hard column, pressing a kiss along it to hear Poe groan. Slowly, carefully, he eased Poe’s zipper down, mouthing over his boxers now. 

Poe helped him shove the jeans over Poe’s hips and down to his knees. Knowing his husband thoroughly, Finn spun them so Poe was supported by the desk, so Poe wouldn’t fall to the ground as soon as Finn’s mouth was on him. 

He looked like some kind of pinup, though, resting against the big wooden desk, his cock stiff and just beginning to leak. Finn gave a little moan himself and rolled as close as he could, pressing Poe’s thighs to the desk. He slipped his mouth over the head of Poe’s cock, saw as Poe white-knuckled the edge of the desk. 

Finn closed his eyes and sank further down on Poe’s cock, enjoying the heightening of the sensory experience. 

He’d enjoyed Poe’s body in possibly every single way at this point, but Christ, it felt new every time. The little sounds Poe made in his throat. The way he lifted a hand to grip at Finn’s hair. The smell of him - all outdoorsy and male goodness. Finn reached up to squeeze at Poe’s thighs as he bobbed his head, lost to the blowjob, lost to the movement. 

Poe’s hips were rocking in time with his head, thrusting himself into Finn’s throat, gently at first, but speeding up and taking control now. The grip on Finn’s head became tighter as Poe guided him exactly where he wanted him, used Finn’s mouth. And Finn desperately, desperately wanted to be used. 

The honeymoon phase would end eventually, right? This pressing, boiling need that clawed at Finn from the inside, demanding satisfaction? Eventually they’d cool down and stop fucking like bunnies, Finn had to think. Eventually a time would come when it wouldn’t be almost painful to be in the same room as Poe without it ending like this. Although at the moment he couldn’t really ponder why he’d want that. 

Poe was thrusting hard now, and Finn swallowing around him, just to hear Poe groan. Christ, he loved that sound. Suddenly Poe’s fingers clenched in his hair and he held Finn’s head still as he came, poured down Finn’s throat, Finn working to swallow it all. 

The pressure of Poe’s fingers eased, but Poe still kept the hand there as Finn let Poe’s cock fall slowly out of his mouth, cleaning along the way. “Baby,” Poe moaned, looking down at him, loving him, worshipping him with his eyes. 

Finn placed a kiss on the inside of Poe’s thigh. His cock was aching inside his pants, not helped at all by the sight of Poe, disheveled, eyes droopy from pleasure, leaning against his desk. 

“Baby,” Poe said again, his voice absolutely filled with love, the kind that warmed Finn up from the inside out. His hand reached out to caress Finn’s cheek, and Finn leaned into it, almost purred. 

Poe pulled him up to stand between his spread legs, teasing over his cock before pulling him into a hug. “Come take a shower with me?” 

Finn nodded dumbly, his blood still buzzing with the need to come. Poe kicked off his jeans and turned his ass toward Finn, wiggling it a little, calling Finn like the Pied Piper. 

Finn followed, let himself be stripped and led into the shower. Let himself stare and really ponder about his life,  _ how is this my life?, _ when Poe braced himself against the tiles and arched his ass toward Finn. Their twin groans echoed off the tiles as Finn pressed Poe into the wall and took what Poe wanted to give, what they both needed.


	41. Belonging smut scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Expanded smut scene for the hotel room 1st anniversary celebration in the fic Belonging. 
> 
> Italics at beginning were part of the original fic. 
> 
> I know it seems like I'm posting a lot of these, but I'm not even doing ALL the fade-to-blacks I had! So crazy!

_ They walked to the hotel, drunk more on happiness than the wine they’d had with their dinner.  As soon as the elevator door closed, Finn crowded Poe up against the wall, capturing Poe’s hands in his and crushing his mouth down. “Finally,” he gasped when he came up for air. “I’ve been waiting to do that for hours.” He lowered his head, Poe angling his to brush their lips together, but Finn bypassed the kiss and went straight for Poe’s neck, kissing, and sucking, and nibbling on Poe’s earlobe just a little. _

_ Poe’s breath came quickly as he moaned out, “I love Amelia with all of my heart and soul, but I have to admit, I have missed adult time with you.  Just you.” Poe twisted one of his hands free and stroked over Finn’s hair. _

_ The elevator dinged, and as quickly as Finn had had Poe against the wall, he pulled away, dragging Poe behind him.  He fumbled for the key card, did it incorrectly the first time, growled in frustration. Poe whispered in his ear. “I want the first time to be quick, and dirty.” Finn fumbled again as Poe’s free hand got busy with Finn’s dress pants. _

_ “Ungh, Poe, Jesus, come on, you stupid card.” Finn nearly yelled in triumph as the card slid home and the light went green.  Within seconds he had Poe in their room, pushed against the door like he had been in the elevator, arms pinned to his sides. “Quick and dirty, huh?” Finn rolled his hips and Poe moaned. _

_ “Jeez, Finn, are you going to make me beg?” _

_ “Absolutely.” _

Poe just grinned back, knowing it was a bluff. “Have I told you how fucking amazing you look in that suit?” 

Finn straightened his shoulders, the navy blue coat settling over his body. Was he preening? He was probably preening. Couldn’t regret it, though, not with the way his husband was looking at him. 

_ His husband. _

Finn drew in a shaky breath. “You ever just- just stop, and look at your life, and wonder-”

Poe’s hand reached up to cup the back of his neck as he pulled Finn closer. “Wonder how the hell life got so good?”

“Yeah.”

“All the time.” Poe’s lips crashed down on Finn’s, and Finn’s pulse jumped erratically. 

“Fast and dirty?” Finn repeated when they’d broken apart. “I can do that.” 

He tugged Poe’s shirt from his dress slacks, needing to feel skin on skin as quickly as possible. Poe helped, their arms a tangle of strewn clothing and frantic groping. When Poe’s chest slid against his own, no barriers, Finn gasped, then sighed, pulling Poe close. 

He worked Poe back to the wall, mouth devouring Poe’s, hands traveling everywhere on Poe’s exposed skin.  _ All mine. All his. All ours. _ Without further ado, he fished Poe’s cock out and wrapped one warm hand around it while Poe sucked a mark onto his neck, where it wouldn’t show for court. 

“Fuck, Finn-” Poe moaned, taking his lips again as Finn stroked him. “You, too.” Poe’s hands fumbled with Finn’s cock, and then it was out, and they were stroking themselves together, every touch of their cocks to each other electric, sending zings up Finn’s spine. 

They rutted like that together, taking each other to peak, Finn pressing Poe to the wall, groaning, grunting. Poe’s free hand was clutching at Finn’s shoulder, and Finn’s was holding them steady on the wall lest they fall over in a heap on the floor. Poe angled his head, nipping into the hollow below Finn’s ear, and Finn gasped and spilled over their combined fists. 

Poe followed close after that, with a final shudder, going slack against the wall, staring dazedly up into Finn’s eyes. Finn lowered his head, kissing the skin over where Poe’s heart was still thundering, so swamped with love and belonging that he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. 

No, he knew what to do next. He lifted Poe into his arms and laid him tenderly on the lake of a bed -  _ California king?  _ he thought fleetingly - grabbing a towel from the bathroom to clean them off. Every move was slow and tender now. Poe was pressing kisses to wherever he could reach of Finn’s skin, and when Finn wrapped Poe in his arms, the older man burrowed in, murmuring something against his skin. 

“What was that?” Finn whispered. 

“Love you,” Poe said, a little louder, grudgingly.

“Love you too, baby.” 

They fell into lazy kisses, kiss bleeding into kiss, for however long, Finn didn’t know or care to know. He just knew that as each kiss dragged on, Poe’s hips were grinding ever so slowly into his, their cocks begin to fill again between them, brushing over each other in a pleasure so sweet and exquisite Finn thought he might die. 

“Will you turn over for me?” Poe murmured, and Finn complied happily, laying on his stomach.

He felt Poe straddle and mount him from behind, his hard cock sliding along Finn’s ass and his weight settling comfortably on Finn. Finn groaned as Poe started to massage his back, fingers going deep and finding all the knots he always carried in his shoulders. Poe’s hands crept lower and lower, until he was massaging over Finn’s ass. “Christ, I love your ass.” 

“Feeling’s mutual, you know,” Finn slurred, drunk on pleasure. 

Poe leaned over, his body warming Finn’s as he grabbed the lube they’d strategically placed out earlier. Poe kissed his way back down, but instead of spreading Finn’s legs like Finn thought he was going to do, Poe pressed them together. Finn’s breath hitched as he caught on. 

“Yeah?” Poe asked, voice breathy with desire. 

“Yeah, go for it.” Finn adjusted himself, pulling a pillow down and shoving it under his hips. “Wait-” Poe sat back on his haunches, amused, as Finn jogged to the bathroom and grabbed one of the towels, spreading it over the pillow. They'd have to call for more towels from room service if they wanted to shower, but-  


Poe pulled him into a deep kiss. “You’re so fucking smart,” he murmured. Gently, he pushed Finn back down onto his stomach, then rubbed some of the lube over Finn’s muscular thighs. 

Finn heard Poe slick up his own cock, and then it was sliding between his thighs, long and hot. Poe groaned. “Love- love watching-” 

_ Love watching it go between my thighs? Making my ass jiggle? _ Finn sighed, arching his back a little more, gratified when Poe’s hands found his ass. He reached down, taking his own cock in hand and stroking in time with Poe’s thrusts. Above him, Poe was losing his mind, it seemed, all grunts and moans and hot, hot noises Finn wasn’t going to soon forget. He loved that he could make Poe lose himself in this, his thrusts going mindless and stuttering as he sped up. His name was a chant on Poe’s lips, and Poe’s fingers were digging into his ass, and his cock was shuttling between Finn’s thighs. 

Finn squeezed Poe’s cock with those thighs and Poe groaned. “Do it again,” he demanded on a moan.  _ “Please.” _

Finn grinned, and squeezed again, vising around Poe’s cock to feel him shudder. 

“Oh- oh fuck,  _ Finn.” _ Poe bit back a groan as he came between Finn’s thighs. He collapsed on Finn’s back, kissing all over his neck, his hand coming down to help Finn out with his own orgasm. Finn felt the cum and lube sliding between his thighs and shuddered into Poe’s hand with a shout. 

Some time later, mostly clean and definitely drifting, Finn felt Poe tracing lines over his back, around his biceps, down his legs. It seemed that Poe hadn’t had enough yet, or that maybe he couldn’t help himself, he just had to keep touching Finn’s body, not that Finn minded one bit. Finn himself was sliding in and out of consciousness, utterly content. 

Poe’s fingers paused at the small of Finn’s back, rubbing over a small dark brown scar. He felt Poe kiss the spot. “Three years since Ben made that mark,” Poe murmured. Finn twisted his head to look down at Poe. Poe was looking back at him with sincere eyes. “I think it’s my favorite part of you. My brave man.”

The Poe’s mouth was meandering, kissing his way down Finn’s back, seeming to want to make sure they used this precious adult time well. Finn laid his head down again, and let himself just feel. 


	42. Meet my husband - smut scene

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of Meet My Husband Finn and Poe are talking about Poe loving being dominated and I have a fade to black. Fade to black no more!

_ It wasn’t until much later, after the kids were abed, that Finn managed to corner Poe against the counter in the kitchen. “You know, baby, you have never once given me cause to be jealous until today.” _

_ A blush tinged over Poe’s cheeks. “Oh?” _

_ Finn trailed his hand over Poe’s chest. “You know what I’m talking about. Chirrut.” _

_ Poe leaned forward, burying his face in Finn’s shirt. “Okay so maybe his mom brought him by a couple of times in the summer when we were here and he was so  cool and  older and  those eyes,  oh my god, did you see them? Pretty sure he was my first solid crush. And he is still. Um. Very good looking.” _

_ Finn chuckled and kissed Poe’s curls. “You are  adorable .” _

_ Poe looked back up at him. “You’re not actually jealous.” _

_ “Of course not. He’s hot. I mean, not like me,” and Finn couldn’t keep a straight face. _

_ “You  are hot, buddy, believe me.” _

_ “I mean, of course if you’re going to crush on someone you chose a guy who looks like he stepped out of a martial arts ring. Meanwhile, I’m over here with Darcy. Darcy feels wimpy, now.” _

_ “He actually does martial arts,” Poe said, voice strained. “I’ve been up to Seattle to see one of his competitions before. And oh my god, I’m just realizing that he might actually be the first person who turned me on by being dominating. Not me,” he hurried to fill in. “But at that tournament. Shit. This is embarrassing.” _

_ “Nah, it’s sweet. I’d be worried, except.” Finn took his left hand and covered Poe’s with it, letting their rings slide together. “And also, I think Baze could bench press you. Probably both of us.” _

_ Poe smiled. “That’s not helping my domination fantasy, baby.” _

_ “Oh yeah? Well, then, let’s just go take care of that. Dishes can wait for morning.” _

_ Poe grinned back, taking Finn’s hand and letting Finn lead him up the stairs. _

At the top, Finn pinned Poe's hands at the small of his back, and nipped lightly under Poe's ear. "Color?"

"Green," Poe sighed out.

Finn nudged Poe forward into their bedroom, then turned to shut and lock the door. "You going to be good for me, Poe?"

"Yes-"

God, he already sounded so  _ gone, _ like he'd been thinking about this all day, or at least since he’d seen Chirrut. Finn’s blood lit up with it. “Need to be quiet, too,” he whispered in Poe’s ear, still holding his wrists behind him. “Going to be quiet for me?” 

Poe nodded, whimpering a little. 

Finn found one of their silk ties and used it to bind Poe’s hands completely behind his back, checking with Poe that he could get out if he needed to. Still behind Poe, somehow liking the idea of staying behind Poe, he twisted Poe’s head toward his and took his mouth. His hands ran over Poe’s stomach, over his pecs, tweaking at his nipples and sliding below his waistband to tease. Poe arched against his hands, seeking more, but Finn didn’t admonish him. He wanted Poe desperate, all of a sudden. Wanted Poe unable to hold anything back because he needed it so much. 

He worked Poe’s button up open, let it hang loosely at his sides, and continued his work on Poe’s chest, on Poe’s mouth. Easy to keep Poe quiet if he never let Poe’s mouth leave his. Finn grew heady with power at the sight of Poe’s dazed eyes. They didn’t indulge in this kind of thing often, but when they did -  _ Fuck. _

Finn worked Poe’s pants and boxers down and off, helping Poe kick them away when Poe proved too weak in the knees to do it by himself. “I’ve got you, baby,” he murmured, and Poe positively melted in his arms. 

He maneuvered Poe to the bed, felt the quickening of Poe’s pulse at Finn’s show of force. He pushed Poe’s chest down onto the covers, but left his hips up, his beautiful ass facing Finn, round and delectable, his hands still tied resting just above, at the base of his spine. Finn laid down beside Poe, swiping some sweaty curls away from his face. “Color?”

“Green,” he said with a nod to go on. 

“Do you want a gag, or do you think you can stay quiet all by yourself?” 

Poe’s back arched as he whimpered. “Gag.” 

Finn kissed Poe, a little awkwardly from the angle, but pleasurable all the same. He retrieved another tie and tied it gently around to cover Poe’s mouth. “Beautiful,” he murmured, placing a kiss over it. 

He moved back, caressing over Poe’s ass, spreading it open to see Poe’s hole winking at him. He grinned, taking his time, rubbing over Poe’s perineum and massaging his balls. Poe’s cock was flush and leaking, swinging between his legs, but Finn didn’t touch it, kept Poe on the edge with maddening teasing touches elsewhere. 

When his own cock was straining against his pants, Finn left Poe with one last kiss to that beautiful ass and got naked himself. He grabbed the lube, and began the process of working Poe up, down, and sideways all over again, this time slipping fingers deep inside and crooking until Poe was arching with need beneath him. Poe turned his head, and Finn’s gaze sharpened, looking for their non-verbal signal, but none came. All he saw was Poe’s eyes, desperate and begging, and Christ, if that didn’t fill Finn with satisfaction. 

“You’re so good, Poe,” Finn murmured, continuing to tease into and around Poe’s hole, preparing him as much as keeping him on edge. 

When Finn finally decided to sink into Poe, all the way down, they both let out sighs of relief. Finn thrust fully into Poe, over and over, leaning down to kiss between Poe’s shoulderblades and whisper in his ear. Beneath him, Poe was desperate and needy, exactly how Finn wanted him, pressing his hips back to chase Finn’s cock, chase their orgasms down. 

With a cry he muffled against the skin of Poe’s back, Finn came, filling Poe up, thrusting still, trying to nail Poe’s prostate. Poe’s moan was muffled by the gag, and the bedspread, as he pressed his face into the sheets and came. 

Poe’s back was still shuddering, laboring under heavy breaths, when Finn rolled them to the side and began to undo the ties. He massaged up Poe’s arms and kissed his newly freed lips, and held him tight, murmuring how good he was. 

“What do you want now?” he murmured into Poe’s ear when their heartbeats had slowed just a little. 

“Mmm. Shower. Sleep.” 

Finn kissed Poe’s forehead, grateful for his husband as ever. A man who could run the whole world, but wasn’t afraid of letting Finn take the reins like this every once and awhile. Normally they weren’t so intense, but that was okay, too. They were experts at giving each other what they needed. 

He pulled the sleepy Poe up into his arms, then worked him toward their master bathroom, an arm around his waist, his lips near Poe’s ear, telling him how much he loved him. 


	43. Worth it - rated E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb and Malik are celebrating their five-year anniversary. 
> 
> For day 21 of Kinktober: shower/bath 
> 
> Year 36, December: Caleb and Malik’s 5 year anniversary (Amelia/38, Eli/40, Caleb and Malik/32, Meghan/46, Chris/53, Finn/61, Poe/70, Riya/9, Alex/9, Michael and Violet/14, Misael/19, Angelina, 13, David/3)  
> (David is Amelia and Eli's new(ish) son)

Malik eyed the wine glasses, then grinned and tipped the rest of the bottle evenly between the two of them. 

“That’s what I’m talking about,” Caleb said with a laugh from the doorway. “Want me to grab the other bottle to take out with us?”

Malik knew his eyes were twinkling, but he tried for a serious look. “I think for the sake of having to live with you for the rest of the weekend with a hangover the size of LA, I’m going to go with no.” 

“Hey, in sickness and in health, babe,” Caleb replied, stepping close to Malik and cupping his cheek. 

Malik could feel himself melt, just a little, the way he always did when Caleb’s eyes were on him like this. “Mmm, I guess I did promise that, didn’t I?”

“Mmhmm.” Caleb’s lips settled over his, and Malik closed his eyes, letting himself drift a bit. “Five years ago today, as a matter of fact.”

They were doing a bit of a staycation for their anniversary. Angelina was over at Amelia and Eli’s, spending the night with the twins. They weren’t picking Misael up from the airport for winter break for a few days. For once, everything had seemed to align perfectly. 

“It’s- not even- that cold outside,” Caleb murmured, punctuating his words with kisses.

“My ass.”

Caleb’s hands slid down to take possession of said ass. “Mmm, your ass indeed.” 

Malik snorted against Caleb’s lips. “Christ, I love you. Dunno why, but I love you.” 

Caleb readjusted until he was rocking Malik in a small dance around the kitchen. “I don’t know why you put up with this either, but thank you. May you never come to your senses.” 

Malik hummed and laid his head on Caleb’s shoulder. “If coming to my senses means losing all this, no thanks.” 

“I’ll drink to that,” Caleb whispered, pressing a kiss to Malik’s forehead. 

Malik stepped out of Caleb’s arms, letting Caleb spin him in their slow dance, then handed a glass of wine off to Caleb after taking one for himself. He held it up. “To- to another five years.”

“Ten,” Caleb corrected, clinking his glass against Malik’s. “Fifteen.” Clink. “Twenty. What are my dads at? Almost 35? Why aim small?”

Malik grinned, taking a sip, letting the nice merlot - from a vineyard near Organa’s - roll around on his tongue. An anniversary gift from the dads in question, and he had to admit, Finn and Poe knew their shit. 

Caleb set their glasses aside to swoop Malik into another kiss, the taste of the wine clinging to Caleb’s lips in a way Malik found almost more intoxicating than the actual alcohol. “What say we take these obscenely large, obscenely full glasses of wine out to the hot tub, get a little naked, and see where the night takes us?”

“Yeah,” Malik said a little breathlessly, lost in Caleb’s eyes. Then, he jumped, making Caleb jump. “Oh! We need to make a detour to the bedroom, though.” Caleb waggled his eyebrows, and he laughed. He  _ loved _ this ridiculous man. “For your  _ present.” _

He picked up his glass and left the kitchen, trusting Caleb to follow. He wasn’t disappointed. “Wait here. Um, no, wait, strip.” 

“Wait, so my eyebrow waggle  _ was _ appropriate? Nice.” 

“Just strip, CayCay.” Malik moved into the walk-in closet and pulled the bag out from where he’d been hiding. Hastily, he stripped himself, meticulously folding his dress pants and shirt and rehanging them. 

“Okay, Mal, I’m stripped.”

Malik shrugged into the microfiber robe he’d gotten for himself. “Close your eyes.” He carried the matching robe out to Caleb, who was standing dutifully naked -  _ beautifully _ naked - with his eyes closed. “Put out your arms for me, baby,” Malik murmured, maneuvering Caleb so he could slip the robe up onto him. “What do you think?”

Caleb opened his eyes to watch Malik tie the robe’s rope loosely around his waist. “I love it.” 

Malik adjusted the soft gray lapels. “It looks good on you.” He leaned in to kiss Caleb’s chest where the vee of the robe parted.  

“Thank you.” Caleb cupped Malik’s face and brought him in for another kiss. 

Wordlessly, leaning into each other, using their hands for their wine and their free hands twined together, they padded out to the hot tub. It was still one of Malik’s favorite things about this house. Bless the former owners for not wanting to take it when they moved. 

Bless the strategic bushes that let them skinny dip. 

Malik discarded his robe and slipped in quickly - he didn’t care what Caleb said, it was still fucking freezing out here - and watched as Caleb got the bubbles going. Soon, he was nestled against Caleb’s chest in the hot bubbling water, sipping at his wine, cherishing the feel of Caleb’s fingers running along his arm. They chatted idly about their days; it was so good to unwind, the kids could be crazy this close to winter vacation. 

“Favorite moment so far?” he asked into the relative quiet of one of the pauses in their conversation.

“In the last five years?” At Malik’s nod, Caleb hummed, resting his chin on Malik’s head. “It’s not one moment, per se. But I think my fave is waking up next to you. Maybe not on weekdays, when we’re both grumpy and tired.” Malik laughed lightly. “But when I wake up, and you’re on your phone, trying to delay the day from starting as long as possible, and we’re in some type of space that’s not attached to time. Just you and me, in the covers, all warm and cozy. That’s my favorite.” 

Malik took a long sip of wine and felt Caleb do the same. “I think I do have a particular moment.” 

“Mmm?”

“When you single-handedly lobbied for and got the funding for the staff training on sexual abuse so cases like Misael’s could be recognized faster. It’s not- obviously not a  _ pleasant _ subject, but I’ve rarely been prouder of you.”

“Baby. Mal.” Caleb’s voice was low, full of emotion. 

“I know I married a good man. I don’t mind being reminded of that, though.” Caleb’s cornrows pressed against his cheek as he buried his face in Malik’s shoulder. Malik turned his head to kiss him there, lightly, tenderly. 

_ “I _ married a good man,” Caleb mumbled. 

“Well, then I guess we’re a good match.” Malik turned in Caleb arms and set their now mostly-empty wine glasses to the side.

He settled in that floaty way that water lets one move into a straddle on Caleb’s lap and cupped his husband’s cheeks. Caleb’s eyes were just a little teary, and Malik brushed the tears away before leaning in to kiss him sweetly. The wine, the heat of the tub worked on his blood, and everything seemed like moving in molasses, but it wasn’t frustrating. Instead, everything felt more intense. Beneath the bubbles, their cocks were brushing together idly, but Malik was feeling too lazy to do anything more about it than roll his hips against Caleb. 

His hands were at far better use cupping Caleb’s face so he could hold him still and kiss them both brainless. 

Caleb moaned into his mouth, sweeping his hands down Malik’s back and pulling him tighter, not letting him float away. Malik almost felt drugged, but god, it felt  _ so good, _ Caleb felt so good against him. Malik groaned, pleased through all the parts of his little gay, demi heart, to have found Caleb out among the rest of this huge, cruel world. To have found the one that brought him peace. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he chanted against Caleb’s lips as their hips met in an increasing rhythm. 

Caleb shook his head, looking like he might cry again. “I love you so much,” he whispered back. His hand moved between them, and then finally, Caleb was stroking the both of them together in one of his hands. 

It didn’t take long for Malik to come, and he shuddered, still kissing Caleb, never wanting to stop kissing Caleb, holding him as he came too, as they rode it out, as they came down. 

Tired, Malik wrapped his arms around Caleb’s neck and pillowed their cheeks together. 

Later, when they got out, their limbs were like noodles, and between the hot water, and the alcohol, and the orgasms, they practically had to drag each other to the house and into bed. 

But it was fucking worth it, Malik thought with a grin as he drifted off to sleep, Caleb’s arms wrapped around him. 


	44. Family History - rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Meghan, is Santa real?"
> 
> Flashbacks: Poe: 41, Finn: 32, Meghan: 18, Amelia: 9, Caleb: 5  
> The 'present': Amelia/38, Eli/40, Caleb and Malik/32, Meghan/46, Chris/53, Finn/61, Poe/70, Riya/9, Alex/9, Michael and Violet/14, Misael/19, Angelina, 13, David/3

Caleb was chewing on the end of his pencil when Amelia walked into their room and threw her backpack on the floor. “That’s gross, Cay Cay,” she muttered, then looked over his shoulder. “Whatcha working on?”

“S’only gross ‘cause you steal my pencils,” Caleb pointed out. “I’m trying to decide what to write Santa.” 

Amelia sighed, and laid back on her bed. “What if Santa isn’t real?” 

Caleb looked back at her, mouth agape, eyes wide. “But then where do the presents come from?”

Amelia shrugged, frowning. “Steven Johnson was telling everyone about it at recess today.” She picked at the edge of the quilt Nan had made her. 

Caleb left his desk and came to sit at her feet. “I thought you said Steven Johnson was a-” Caleb looked behind himself to check that there were no adults about, but whispered the next part anyway,  _ “a doody-head.” _

“He  _ is _ a doody-head,” Amelia said loudly, defiantly, her frown fierce as Caleb’s eyes went wider. “But he also knew the truth about the tooth fairy,” she continued forlornly. 

Caleb stuck his tongue where he’d recently lost one of his front teeth. He’d been singing  _ All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth _ pretty much nonstop, until Daddy-Poe had banned it to once a day only, anyway. “Yeah. But don't you think it was a little scary, a fairy that collects teeth?” He shuddered, then laid back next to Amelia. “What did doody-head say?”

“Well, he asked Molly how Santa could get to all the kids’ homes in all the world in one night.” 

“Magic,” Caleb replied with a shrug. 

“That’s what Molly said.” 

Caleb blew out a breath. “What’d Billy say?”

“That our parents are Santa.” 

“Hmm.” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Papi did put that special coffee Daddy likes in his stocking last year.” 

“Mhmm. And I asked Santa this year for new soccer cleats and I saw a box from the shoe store in their closet.” 

Caleb poked her side. “Why were you in their closet?”

“Uhhh…” 

“Did you go searching for presents without me? No fair, Amelia!” He poked her again, and she caught his hand, and they ended up wrestling for control of her bed for a few minutes, until she gained the upper hand and dumped him on the ground - gently, of course. Mostly. She raised a pillow, ready for his counter attack. 

“What’s  _ going on _ in here?” 

Both children froze, then looked to the doorway, where Meghan stood, her earphones draped around her neck, her hand on her hip. Amelia coughed sheepishly and put the pillow back down on her bed, then held out a hand to pull Caleb up from the floor. “Nothing.” 

“Uh huh,” Meghan replied, doubt filling her voice. 

Amelia nodded, then elbowed Caleb into nodding. “Yep!” 

Meghan folded her arms over her chest as she leaned against the door jamb. “Ames, do you need help with any homework?” 

Amelia let her legs hit against the side of the bed. “Meghan, is Santa real?”

\-------------------------

Across the table, Chris snorted with laughter. “Oh my god, I wish I had been a fly on that wall, darlin’,” he said, clinking his beer bottle against Meghan’s wine glass. “The look on your face  _ had  _ to be priceless.” 

“<It absolutely fucking was,>” Caleb said, sitting back down at the table and handing one of his cookies to Malik. 

Amelia just smiled as she sipped at her own wine. “<I’ll tell you, after Caleb gives me the kid report.>” 

“<Oh, they’re good. I’d say about half of them are out like a light and the other half are zoned out on their phones, so, you know, a normal family holiday. Misael’s got it all covered.>” Caleb fit the entire cookie in his mouth as Malik rolled his eyes but didn’t call him on it - Nan’s cinnamon twirls (which had been made for so long by Finn, but was now  _ their  _ precious responsibility to provide) were like the only sweet Caleb ever indulged in, so he had no room to nag. 

Amelia, however: “<Cay-Cay, that’s gross.>” 

“<You should tell the next part, Megs,>” Caleb managed after finishing his cookie and sticking his tongue out at Amelia. Malik was rapidly revising his decision on nagging. 

“<Why don’t I remember any of this?>” Finn asked, elbowing Poe. “<Tell me I’m not going senile.>” 

Poe laughed, leaning in to press a kiss to Finn’s temple. “<No, babe, it was the Christmas you had your appendix taken out. You were, uh. Out of it. Which is an entirely different story.>”

“< _ What’re you doing later? _ >” Eli said, raising his eyebrows at Amelia as the entire table laughed; Finn hitting on Poe after coming out of surgery was a story that got broken out  _ every _ Christmas. Practically a family tradition at this point.

Finn made a face at Eli, which had everyone laughing more, until Meghan cleared her throat. “<Okay, so- >”

\-------

_ Holy fucking shit. _

That’s what was going through Meghan’s mind. But, like her therapist had trained her, she let the panicked thought through, let it have its moment, then moved it along. “Wh-what makes you think that?”

Amelia immediately went on a five minute long diatribe about some kid named Steven Johnson and the playground and that Santa was actually Finn and Poe and all magic was dead and there was nothing left to believe in and-

“Okay, okay, hold up, sis.” Meghan tried a placating movement with her hand, then came to sit on Amelia’s bed and pulled Caleb into her lap. She rested her chin on his braids and hugged him tight. God, how was he so big already? “Isn’t Steven Johnson the one that got in trouble for calling you and Molly names?”

Amelia gave a little shrug and looked decidedly away from her. 

"Doody-head," Caleb muttered under his breath.

“Uh huh, well. Sounds like maybe we shouldn’t be listening to Steven.” 

“But it doesn’t make  _ sense, _ Megs,” Amelia moaned, and Caleb agreed. “How can one person get to all the homes in all the world in one night?” 

She looked up at Meghan, like Meghan could solve all the problems in the entire world if she could only answer this question correctly.

\-------------------

Amelia groaned and put her hand over her face. “<Okay, I swear, I did  _ not _ mean to ever put you in that situation, Meghan.>” 

Eli wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her in for a side hug. 

Meghan just shooed the thought away. “<Hey, you and Cay were actually pretty good practice for Riya. No worries.>”

\-----------------------

“Well, how do Daddy-Poe and Uncle Snap harvest everything on the farm by themselves?”

The look of confusion that passed over Amelia’s face would have been amusing, if Meghan hadn’t been sweating profusely from nerves. 

“They don’t, Megs. They hire the seasonals when they need to harvest.” 

The  _ duh _ was implied in the 9-year-old’s tone and eyes. Meghan  _ almost _ laughed. Instead, she just raised her eyebrows. Caleb and Amelia peered up at her, then at each other, then up at her again, then-

“Santa hires daddies - and mommies I guess -” 

“To  _ help _ him when it’s busy season!”

They beamed up at her, and she couldn’t help it, then, hiding her smile by hugging them both to her. “Pretty genius of Santa, huh?”

They nodded in tandem, then Amelia got a contemplative look on her face. “Daddy-Poe and Daddy-Finn are already so busy being a farmer and lawyer. Can’t Santa hire someone else?”

Meghan hugged Amelia to her again. “Well, I think they took the job because they like being able to know they helped make your Christmas happy.” She placed kisses on both their heads. “But working two jobs at once is hard, you know? So it’s a good time of year to just be really nice to everyone all the time.” 

\----------------------

Poe looked down to where Finn’s head was laying on his shoulder, then reached up to brush a tear off of his husband’s cheek. Not that his own eyes were dry. “<That was- really, really good, Meghan. Nice job,>” he murmured, to nods around the table. 

“<I was mostly glad I didn’t fuck it up.>” She shrugged, a blush tinging her cheeks.   


“<Not at all, honey,>” Finn said quietly, raising a toast to her. 

Glasses clinked as smiles were exchanged, and the Smith-Dameron-Suzuki-Cohen-Lawrence-Fords settled into their seats to recount more family history. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Thursday, while I was at the first showing for The Last Jedi at my theater, my dad called. He never calls that late, so I took the call, and he told me that my uncle had died unexpectedly. 
> 
> When I think of my uncle, I think of a lot of things; he was a huge Star Wars nerd for one, as well as a nerd for stuff like the Universal Monster movies, and James Bond. He was a poet and author, a wonderful writer. 
> 
> In my family, when we get together, it often involves something like what the Smith-Damerons (to make it short and sweet) were doing - at Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and July 4th, and whenever - we sit around someone's table and tell stories about the past. The family's lore, if you will. My uncle was an integral part of this for my family. The Lore Keeper. 
> 
> I don't often give a long explanation for why I'm writing something, but I just wanted to this time, because...I'm putting this out there for my uncle. <3 RIP
> 
> Also, thank you to Starbird for letting me adapt their story of how they discovered Santa isn't real.


	45. In the Closet - rated G

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meghan is babysitting Amelia and Caleb, and things get emotionally heavy.
> 
> Written for day 4 of the February Ficlet Challenge: Prompt: Hiding in a closet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One month. Twenty-eight prompts. Twenty-eight pairings. One ficlet a day. Write Fast.

Meghan hummed along to the song stuck in her head. If she put on music, she could maybe get the damn earworm out, but as she was babysitting Caleb and Amelia, she didn’t want to miss a cry for help or a bump or anything. They were playing in their room, and she wanted to give the two of them space, but she also was slightly paranoid about something going wrong, even though the dads were an easy phone call away, and Snap and Elisa even closer. 

She finished her homework and opened her sketchbook, still humming. She’d have to ask for another one for Christmas, maybe. This one was almost full. And she was getting a little better at believing that she deserved … anything. 

Buli curled around her feet, and she reached down to stroke over her back, grinning at the little “mrow?” she got in return. The cat jumped up onto her work, ‘helping’, and Meghan laughed outright, burying her face in Buli’s fur. 

“Caleb? Caleb?!”

Panic shot into Meghan’s heart at Amelia’s frantic voice. “Amelia? What’s wrong?” she called as she raced out into the hallway. 

Amelia came to tug on her dress urgently, fat tears already gleaming in her eyes. “Caleb and I went to play hide and seek and now I can’t find him and he’s not answering and I don’t know where he went and what if someone came and took him away?” 

“No one’s coming to take him away,” Meghan reassured, even as she started to turn and search the house. “Caleb?! Caleb?! You’re not in trouble, buddy, but we just want to know where you’re hiding so good.” 

Amelia’s hand was firmly lodged in hers as they walked room to room, calling out and inspecting. When they reached Finn’s office, the door was closed, like always, but Meghan pushed it open and looked immediately under the desk, calling for Caleb. That’s when she heard the sad snuffling coming from the closet. “Caleb?” she asked gently, and the sobbing got louder. “Ames, will you go grab your stuffed Buli for me?” 

Meghan got down on her knees and cracked open the closet. They all had small walk-ins, even the office, because Finn and Poe thought it might one day be converted into a bedroom. Sure enough, Caleb’s tiny body was tucked up in the corner of the closet, his face buried in his knees. “Oh, honey,” Meghan murmured. “Are you hurt?” 

His curls bobbed as he shook his head. 

“Okay, that’s good.” 

The sound of rushing feet heralded Amelia with the stuffy and, bless her, a blanket. It was like Amelia was being raised in a household that had dealt with trauma before. “Come on in, Ames.” Meghan posted up beside Caleb, and Amelia tucked into her side, and she threw the blanket over their laps. “Here you go, Cay-Cay,” Amelia whispered, handing him the stuffy. 

Caleb immediately took it and buried his face in it. 

“Do you want us to shut the door?” Meghan asked softly.

Another head shake. 

“Did you get scared of the dark?”

“No,” Caleb mumbled. 

Meghan began to rub over his back, which made him sob harder. 

“Am I gointa hafta leave?”

Before Meghan could object, Amelia tugged on her arm, and repeated Caleb’s question, her eyes quivering again. 

“No one is going to make Caleb leave, guys. What - who- why do you think that?”

“I f’rgot the rule.” Caleb sounded miserable.

“What rule?”

“The daddies say we’re not s’posed to come in here,” Amelia sniffled. 

Meghan brushed a kiss over Amelia’s hair, then pulled Caleb up into her lap and under the blanket. He kept his stranglehold on the Buli stuffy. “Sure, you're not supposed to come in here, but our dads aren’t going to send you away as a punishment, I promise.” 

She continued to stroke over his back, her chin resting in his curls, as Amelia squeezed his knee. “Amelia, you’ve been around the longest, have you ever broken a rule?”

Amelia’s face flamed. 

“Uh huh, I thought so. And she’s still here, right Caleb?” Caleb’s tears were drying up as he burrowed himself into her neck. “Can I tell you a story?” He nodded. 

Meghan counted a breath in and out, and took Amelia’s hand. “When I first got here, I thought that our dads were … were treating me too nicely. I didn’t think I deserved it. I thought- I thought that I needed to be punished, because Big Sam- he warped my brain.” Caleb’s thumb was stuck thoroughly in his mouth, but he squeezed her with his other arm. She knew he didn’t really understand, but it was okay to say out loud now, or neutral, at least. “Your mama loved you lots, but you’ve had some other experiences that have twisted your brain a little, and that’s okay, CayCay. Just know that no matter what you do to Finn and Poe, no matter how hard you break the rules, they’re never going to send you away. They’re never going to love you any less.” She wiped at her own streaming eyes, and glanced down at Amelia. “Isn’t that right, Ames?”

“Yeah,” Amelia whispered, her voice scratchy with emotion. 

Meghan held Caleb close, rubbing over his back and breathing with him, with Amelia, as they all came down from the emotional jag. 

After ten minutes or so, Meghan kissed Caleb’s forehead, then Amelia’s. “You know, I bet you guys are hungry, too. This stuff is always worse when you’re hungry. Shall we go get a snack?” She set Caleb up on his feet, and he wrapped the blanket around himself, but handed the stuffy back to Amelia and held her hand. Meghan crawled back out of the closet, and closed the door. 

“This family doesn’t really hide in the closet anyway,” she added with a sly twist of lips.


	46. Bedtime - rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 13 of February Ficlet Challenge: Creating your own traditions
> 
> Set after "It's not what it looks like" - (after Meghan and Chris are dating)

Chris was just finishing up the dishes when Meghan slipped an arm around his waist and went up on tiptoes to brush a kiss over his cheek. “She out?”

“<Like a light.>” Meghan sighed.

Chris hung the drying towel back up and turned, frowning. “What’s wrong?”

Meghan sighed again, shaking her head, and pulling Chris back to her tiny living room to sit on the couch. He grumbled at that, and pulled her up into his lap when she said he could. It made her smile, just a little, to be warmed by his body. “<I was just thinking about bedtime, when I was growing up.>”

Chris looked tentative, and he squeezed her into a hug. “Thinking about S-”

“No,” Meghan cut him off quickly, forgetting to sign. “<No. Sorry. Later. Finn and Poe.>” 

“What about it?” 

“<I mean, I was older, right? So I didn’t really have ‘bedtime’ traditions with Finn and Poe. But they always read stories to Amelia, and later, to Amelia and Caleb. And sometimes I helped out. One summer I was home, we read the whole Madeleine L'Engle series, a chapter or two a night.>”

“That’s really sweet.” He rubbed over her back, and nuzzled against her cheek. “But you’re worried you won’t be able to do that with Ree.” 

She stared at him. “<I will never get over how perceptive you are for the strong, silent type.>”

“We strong, silent types have to be perceptive.” 

“<True.>” She wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. “I love you,” she murmured against his skin, knowing he’d feel the vibrations if not exactly hear her words. 

“I love you.” He held her, rocked her, let her have a moment of peace. When she leaned back and sighed again, he reached up to smooth a stray hair back over her ear. “You know, you don’t have to give up that tradition. You just have to remake it.” 

“<She doesn’t have a big enough vocabulary- >”

“People read to babies all the time and they definitely don’t have a big enough vocabulary. A baby - toddler - with hearing aids isn’t different. Just- do what you do with me? Speak and sign? It has to be helpful.” 

Meghan blushed and looked away, distressed. “<I should have thought of that.>”

“Hey, baby, no.” Chris drew her back in, pressed a kiss to her lips. “You’ve got a million other things going on in your mind, and this is why-” His breath hitched, but he blew it out and gave her a crooked smile. “This is why we talk, right? To each other. To therapists. Just bouncing ideas.” 

She pulled back, looking a little stressed, still. “<I just- I didn’t realize it, you know, before? How fucking scary parenthood would be. She’s relying on me. There’s a little person in this world whose only hope is to rely on me.  _ Fuck.>” _

“Good thing you’re amazing and wonderful and gorgeous and okay, maybe that last part doesn’t matter for being a mom, but you are-”

She laughed, then stopped his torrent of words with a kiss. 

He cupped her cheek. “But above all else, Megs, you’re human, which means you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be you.” His hand slid down to her chest, where he could feel her heartbeat. “The woman with the biggest, most loving and accepting and accommodating heart I know.” 

“Chris,” she whispered, and then she was leaning in again to kiss him, and they didn’t do much talking after that. 

\-------

She began to tell Riya everything: stories of her life, and her siblings’ lives, and the farm family, yes. But also short versions of movies and books she loved. Anything she could think of, really. It was fun, and it strengthened her own signing. 

But the real fun began when Riya started learning how to read, and recognize more signs, and then, one night: 

“<Mama, I want to tell  _ you _ a story.>”

Surprised, and pleased down to her toes, Meghan sat back. “<Okay, Riya, you get to tell the story tonight.>”

And Riya lifted her hands, her eyes excited, and began, “<Once upon a time…>”


	47. YOU ARE BABE - Rated M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> February Fic Challenge Day 14: Valentine's Day
> 
> Also directly inspired by these hilarious AI generated heart candy messages (including the NSFW ones) http://aiweirdness.com/post/170685749687/candy-heart-messages-written-by-a-neural-network
> 
> Takes place after "Dinner with the Smith-Damerons" - Amelia is 8, Caleb is 3, Meghan is almost 17.

Finn snorted, looking down at his phone, momentarily distracted from his paperwork. Poe had simply sent a picture of one of those chalky candy hearts with the message "YOU ARE BABE" on it. It looked computer generated.  


**Finn:** No, you are, although not so great at the English apparently :P  


Poe was suspiciously silent back, even though the little tag turned over to “read.” Finn shook his head, his lips tipped up in a smile. Poe gave extremely good text, even though he managed basically no other social media, the Luddite. Texting - and sexting - had gotten their relationship through Finn’s law degree, and now, even though he’d see Poe in a matter of hours, they still stopped to text several times a day. Besides, when they got home, there’d be the chaos of children and dinner and bedtimes, even if it was Valentine’s Day. When it fell on a week day, there wasn’t much either Poe or Finn could do about it, except plan for something later in the week (in this case, they had plans for a dinner and movie on Friday). 

But it seemed Poe still wanted to acknowledge the day. 

**Poe:** (HEART ME)

**Finn:** I do, babe  <3

**Finn:** I’m heading into a meeting, off my phone for an hour or so, okay?

**Poe:** (AM GOOD)

Finn laughed again, figuring out Poe’s game. 

 

Or maybe he didn’t, because the string of texts waiting for him when he got back were… more than a little confusing. 

**Poe:** (FANG)

**Poe:** (COOL CUD)

**Poe:** (LOVE 2000 HOGS YEA)

**Poe:** (TEAM BEAR)

**Finn:** What……?????????????

**Finn:** Team bear? That’s not what you told me…

Finn pictured Poe, stuck in his office doing paperwork because of the weather, and snickering over his phone. His weird, adorable husband. 

**Finn** : I love you. 

**Poe:** (STANK LOVE)

 

Poe left him alone for awhile after that, probably getting his head down into his paperwork the same way Finn did. A few hours later, though, after lunch: 

**Poe:** (HOLE)

**Poe:** (Sweet Hole)

**Poe:** (WET MINE)

**Finn:** OMG where are you even finding these

**Poe:** (DOOOO ME)

 

Suddenly, his phone rang in his hands, and an image of he and Poe, dressed for their anniversary, popped up. “You are ri _ dic _ ulous, Mr. Dameron.” 

All he could hear on the other side of the line was Poe’s giggling. 

“I’m _not_ doing that at work,” Finn said, all censure, even though he was smiling.

“No-” Poe gasped for air, and cackled again. “No, god, yeah, sorry. I know I went too far. But oh man, I wish I could have seen your face!” 

Finn couldn’t help but laugh with him. He’d kept Finn smiling all day, after all. “My cheeks are so hot right now,” he murmured.

“Oh really? Because I have more! And they get  _ worse.” _

“I’m almost afraid to ask, but...how? How could they  _ possibly _ get worse? Where did they even come from?”

“I don’t know, something Elisa sent me. You ready?”

“Oh god.” 

Poe just laughed and hung up. 

Immediately, he had another string of texts. 

**Poe:** (TIME 2 WANK)

**Poe:** (SWEET POLE)

**Poe:** (ANL LOVE)

**Finn:** !!!!!!!!!!

**Finn:** NO

Again, when he picked up the phone, all he heard was Poe laughing. Full on, hearty laughs that made Finn’s insides all warm and fuzzy. 

“So when-” Poe paused for a breath. “When are you coming home?”

“Oh? Why? You think you’re going to get some-” Finn double checked that the door to his office was shut, “Anal love?”

“Baby, you know I’m down for your sweet pole.” 

Finn laughed hard enough that tears started welling in his eyes. “You want my sweet pole in your sweet hole, huh?” 

“I mean, some people say the wording lacks romance, but who needs romance?”

“You are a goofball and I love you, and I’m hanging up  _ now _ so that I can get home at a reasonable hour and have dinner with my goofball of a husband and put the kids to bed and-”

“And then some of that stank love?”

“I’m hanging up now,” Finn repeated. 

“Uh huh.” 

“Seriously. Stop giggling.” 

“Sure.” 

“I’ll text you when I’m headed home.”

“Drive safe, I love you,” and Poe actually sounded serious, which made Finn’s heart swell.

“I will. I love you.” 

When he’d finally hung up, Finn walked his phone out to his car and locked it inside, trusting neither himself nor Poe to not be distracted.


	48. Sick Day - rated T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caleb has caught a bad version of the latest cold going around the school, but he's trying to power through. 
> 
> FFC Day 25: Character A has a cold

Caleb tried not to let guilt eat away at him completely as his fifth period kids happily watched a movie and texted on their phones. He’d been trying to scrape through the week, felt like he’d been clawing at the days just to survive another, just to make it to the weekend so he could  _ sleep. _ His neck snapped and he jolted awake, feeling his face flush. Fuck, he was such a horrible teacher, he’d fallen asleep at his fucking desk. Miserable, he rubbed his eyes and blew his nose once again. 

This year’s cold season was  _ horrible. _

“You look tired, Mr. Ford,” Teddy, one of his students pointed out. Ah, freshmen. Hadn’t quite learned the whole social tact thing yet. Teddy reached for one of the tissues, blowing his nose, too. It would be very easy for Caleb to blame Teddy for getting him sick, but it could have been one of the hundreds of other kids sneezing and coughing all over the school. 

Instead, he just offered a comiserial smile. “Thanks Teddy. You on the mend?”

Teddy blew his nose, then shrugged. “Sure.” He pulled out a few more tissues for his desk. “You know what I like about you, Mr. Ford?”

“Let me guess, is it the fact that I’m letting you watch Finding Nemo instead of studying the French Revolution?”

“Nah, it’s because you always bring in the good tissues for us, instead of that crap the school provides that feels like sandpaper.”

Caleb’s heart warmed a little, and he managed a tired smile. “Thanks,” he murmured, unsure of what else to say. It was definitely true that Caleb and Malik spent no small amount of their money making sure students had supplies, and yes, tissues that made them feel human and not like they deserved the worst. 

Caleb sat, blearily watching Nemo, not really paying attention to the plot of a movie he’d seen dozens of times since childhood. Most of his kids hadn’t seen it, though, and he was a history teacher after all, he was just introducing his kids to the classics. 

That didn’t make him feel any less guilty for watching the movie instead of teaching. 

The bell rang and he paused it, laying his head down on his desk for a brief second as classes changed periods. A few students told him to feel better. His heart warmed again. 

A warm hand slid over his back, then tugged on one of his braids, and his eyes opened in surprise to find Malik standing over him. He must have closed the door against students when he’d come in, because none of the bustle of Caleb’s usually rambunctious 6th period could be heard. “You’re going home.” 

“What? No, sub plans,” Caleb protested weakly. 

“You’re going home. Rae’s going to drive you. I’m going to cover 6th and Phil’s got 7th, and honestly, baby, if you’re just playing a movie, there’s no need for you to be here. Let me babysit.” 

Caleb laid his head down again, knowing Malik was right, but feeling guiltier than ever. “But, practice.” 

“Caleb Ford, you are  _ not _ running this afternoon. It’s raining! That’s probably how you got sick in the first place!”

Caleb heard the loud ticking of the second hand on his wall clock. He didn’t have enough time or energy to put up more than a token protest, and that told both of them all they needed to know about how sick he really was, how miserable he was really feeling. 

Malik pulled him to his feet with barely a protest from Caleb, and wrapped him in his warm winter coat. “I love you, you stubborn ass. Rae’s waiting outside, I already talked to Francisco about this, it’s all worked out, come on, baby, I’ll bring your bag home later, just need your keys, which are already in your pocket…”

Malik kept murmuring to him comfortingly as he walked Caleb to the door of his classroom, where he handed him off to Rae, one of the science teachers who also had prep this period. Malik greeted the 6th period students with a smile and “Who wants to watch a movie?” Caleb even smiled as he heard the distant cheering. 

 

Malik found him later, snuggled under a dozen blankets in their bedroom. Malik was carrying a glass of orange juice, which he set next to Caleb’s nearly full glass of water. “Did you get some sleep?” 

Caleb nodded, pulling Malik down to sit beside him and burying his face in Malik’s stomach. Malik just let the silence lie, stroking over Caleb’s cornrows for a few minutes. “I need you to drink the oj or the water, Cay-Cay. Gotta stay hydrated.” 

Caleb groaned, protesting vocally when Malik helped him into a sitting position. 

“If I’d known that getting a cold turned you into a five year old maybe I wouldn’t have said ‘in sickness and in health’,” Malik teased. 

“Sorry.” 

“Oh, baby, you just sound miserable.” He cupped Caleb’s cheek, then turned away. “Oj or water?”

“Water,” Caleb rasped. Malik helped him drink it down, then let him lay down again. 

Caleb thought he was leaving, but instead, when Malik stood, he came around the other side of the bed and slipped under Caleb’s covers. 

“Angel?” Caleb sniffled. 

“She’s fine. She’s going to Ana’s after practice for a sleepover. Already talked to Mr. Hernandez. Go to sleep, baby.” 

With Malik’s arms weighted around his middle, and his soft breath pressing into his neck, and the cold dragging his eyelids down, it was hard to resist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also sick right now; wish I had a Malik to take care of everything for me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos. 
> 
> Writing about the farm is like going to my happy place. I hope it makes you feel that way when you read it.
> 
> I'm @animalasaysrauer on tumblr. Feel free to come yell with me about Stormpilot feelings.


End file.
